Did you find yourself sweeter and kinder after Whole30 reintro?

[Hutlifr]

You and I both my friend.... Between the two of us... We are responsible for global warming!....

 

glad ad you came back posting... Was getting lonely...

[MeadowLily]

Rain, rain, go to Spain

Whole 30 posts are

Ingrained in my brain

I tried to leave but 

Always come back, again.

Oooo, go ahead rain 

Pour down on me

Rain and Whole 30 posts

Set me free 

[MeadowLily]

Today, I hiked 100 minutes for the solar flaring. About 6.5 miles.

Yes, Hutlifr, I've tried and and tried to go.  But this has become part of my daily routine.  I'm glad you're out there because there's many aday I'm shooting the breeze with Universe and I'm waiting for your reverb. 

We need to visit about what kind of carbs you're eating besides sweet potatoes and the amount of fat you use.  I found over the course of a year or so, I had to cut back on the amount of good fats I was using.

Not only a broken sugar metabolism but fat metabolism as well.  It just stopped working for me.  I had to reassess everything.

I don't have to do gluten free anything and frankly, those aged cheeses are a breeze...just like you told me they would be. I haven't met a donut or pastry that I couldn't live without in all of this time.

It's not raining taco chips up in here and potato chips are not sweeping me off my feet.  I don't sleep with a bag of gummy bears next to my head and I'm not all jacked UP on coffee.  

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I'm not bowled over by it. Holidays and birthdays don't phase me.  

When I think about the pain I had to endure as I stepped out my backdoor, feet and knees all taped up trying to hobble on the down the road,  the pain keeps me sane.  I haven't got time for that kind of pain anymore.

Food rewards were not rewarding.  They were painful.  All of them. I can look them directly in the eye and see them for what they are. The hundreds of miles I've had to hike to wash them out of my hair and life was not worth it.  

But I'm fruit loose and  I still eat 3 balanced meals aday.  My body is so used to it and I can tell when I'm in the zone.  I have felt so good over the last month and I do feel like I'm on that Tiger Blood High. 

I dance to the music while I'm hiking.  I sing.  I laugh outloud. I have that smile plastered back on my face.  So yeah, something good is happening to me.  People are smiling back at me for no reason. 

On the flipside, there are the backhanded compliments that you have to bee ready for.  Ooooo, you look soooo much better and then they really get carried away and end up taking it too far.

Yes, I know I looked like something the cat dragged in. Go ahead and say it because you're thinking it.  It's on your face. 

I have one person who wants me to eat it all back so that they'll feel comfortable.  Just like we used to be.  Forget that, it ain't happening. There are people who keep offering me foods I can't eat.  Wolves in sheeps clothing kind of offerings.  They want to watch me eat it.  

Oooo, Felicias,  I'm strong.  I just shoot them da look and they'll usually lay off with the backhanded compliments and plates of multi-crap.  I don't care who makes it.  They don't have to live in my body.

Hutlifr, come back and shoot the breeze with me about familia. You know the one I'm talking about.  It doesn't bother me one iota. 

We can sort it all out.   

[MeadowLily]

For every single pound you're carrying over your personal load limit that equates to 4 lbs of stress and pressure on each knee. In my case, that was 800 lbs of stress on my knees, joints and back. This is why I had to tape my knees and feet every day for well over a year. 

Releasing 100 lbs for solar flaring has helped my joints but there is that residual damage.  When you're in couch mode, you don't notice it until you have to get up and start moving at some speed above completely still.

There were months of tears running down my face from the pain. It made me mad, too.  Sometimes you have to get mad to get beyond the complacency and unconscious state that medicating yourself with food puts you in. An altered state and being drunk on sugar/flour/fat.  

“Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment.” 
― Drew Carey

 

This is exactly how I feel about food rewards. They were a punishment. I've been Shawshanking it since June 1, 2014. Making my plans for the escape from food hail and binge eating.  The thrill only lasted about 5 minutes and then came the food drunk, full on bender resulting in lasting consequences that I am still paying the price for. 

Losing weight means nothing if you can't find weight stability and stability with your overall health and well being. It doesn't matter what you did in the past or how many compliant days you have under your belt.  If you can't reach a point of stability that house of cards comes falling down into another broken heart and crushed spirit.

With each passing day that you let a crushed spirit pull you further down into a tailspin and black hole...the ground gets colder.  

I have an actual doctor.  Someone who runs the best rehab outfit in the entire west.  No names or GPS coordinates. You have to find someone that's a good fit for your particular personality and situation.  I found that. Without that guidance and counsel, I wouldn't be here today.  

First thing we did was create a Pain List.  I review it every single day.  There is nothing on that pain list that was worth it or will be worth it in the future.

I threw all of my self-help books into the bin.  There was so much conflicting advice.  It was like the sound of the Charlie Brown school teacher in my ears. Wah, wah, wah, wah...wah. 

I won't be buying anymore of them.  Blue ain't my color and I am not a black or white person.  Blue looks good on the sky but Felicias it didn't match my eyes.  

Weight stability carries over into every area of your life.  It is a reflection of what's going on in the brain.  Chaos, conflict, disorder and mostly confusion.

You have to take complete responsibility for the food addiction recovery. You're going to get mud on your tires and soot all over your face as you go dumpster diving.  Diving into the roots of your particular food addiction.

One by one, they have to pulled out by the roots.  Without bias.  When you're stuck in the muck and mire, you're going to gun the tires and engine to get loose from every barrier that's holding you back.

Mostly, it's as if you don't think you actually deserve it. That's the greatest barrier of all.  Why don't you deserve it?

Why are you content to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else live their best life?   That would be complacency and giving up on yourself.  

Don't wait until the end of your life to get this done.  You might have to get mad to get it done.  Then afterwards, all of the ruffled feathers can be smoothed out.   

Food rewards make me mad.  Mad at what I allowed them to do to my health and joints, knees, skelton, pancreas, all of it.  I can be polite and smile sweetly when someone shoves a plate of multi-crap my way but inwardly Felicias, I ain't smiling.  I'm thinking of every painful mile and pulling that 800 lbs of pressure and painful weight up mountainsides.   That's half a ton. A polar bear weighs half a ton.  They're cute but they have really big teeth. 

 

Don't back up.  Don't back down.  Don't back up until the job is done. Straight ahead and don't turn around. Remember the painful process. 

You decide if you want diabetes back on your doorstep and joints that are falling apart under the stress and pressure. Permanent damage.  You choose if all of it is worth it.  I can tell you that it is not.  Shawshank it and get yourself free. 

[MeadowLily]

Thanksgiving is coming.  

Next month, it's Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day, Easter, April Showers,  May Flowers, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Independence Day, Multi-Crap Day, Labor Day, Halloween and right back to Thanksgiving.

There's always another streetcar filled with desires coming around the corner. 

Next.   

I won't be raining on anyone's Food Parade but I have self-rule, self-determination, liberty and the freedom to just say Nooooooo.

If you bring me a nice plate of multi-crap, I will be hauling it right out to the dumpster and I will not go diving for it later.   

[MeadowLily]

Food addiction is a progressive disease.

Wild swings UP and down are an indicator that the chronic disease of food rewards/food addiction/disorder is growing stronger in your life.

As a young person, I would go on 4 day fasts.  Oooooo,  I could drop it like it was hot and thought it was really extra special. I got the brilliant idea to wrap myself in plastic wrap and tried to out-exercise  my food addiction.  It was all cray cray shizz. 

This was a set-up, a hook in the jaw for binge eating disorder. 

Food Addiction progresses as the years go on.  The Wild Swings...in the beginning will be 5 or 10.  That moves up to 20 or 30.  As you keep tooling along medicating yourself with food, you can unconsciously eat back 50 in just a few month's time.  When you really stay on a food drunk that can increase up to 80 - 100 - 150 - 200, eating it all back and then dieting wildly to take it all back off again. 

Wild Swings UP and down.  Handwriting on the wall.  Smoke Signal. Your food addiction is progressing into the chronic state.  You need help. 

You don't have to let the bottom fall out before you reach out for help. Sit down with someone Face-to-Face.  Find your pathway to healing.

If you stay in this unconscious binge eating mode for years, your health will deteriorate to the point of no return.  We only have one pancreas and when it's toast, it's over.  Like for real. 

The pancreas can deal with binge episodes for a season.  Can you imagine how hard it is struggling to keep up with mountains of sugar piled high in the car seat next to you.  All of those bags of gummy bears and HFCS capers. Donuts, pastries, falling back into bowls of pasta and bread, cornbread, panbread, bread bowls, other people's bread and stale bread that you're supposed to feed to the ducks but ate it anyway because it reminded you of croutons. 

 

Food rewards are just like click bait. They trigger vicious cycles for the chronic binge eater. 

The only time the binge eater feels actual freedom is when they have amassed a large amount of binge foods spread out on the table, car seat or bed and can let themselves go with Wild and Reckless abandon.  It's mine, all mine and I don't have to follow any brutal restrictions or rules.  I will partake of everything.  Eat. All. The.  Things.  

Tomorrow is another day.  Tomorrow - I will implement another brutally strict diet right out of the chute.  Everything within my innermost being will rebel fairly quickly but I'm going to do it. 

It is the panacea for thrill eating and the answer for Wild Swings UP and down. Ooooo, I'll get there this time.  This time will be different.  I know there will be the pain of withdrawal but just think, when I get done with fasting and restriction, I will have a thigh gap.  

And long term, all of these approaches will get you nowhere good.

Another binge is not a cure for a food addiction.  Diet is a dirty four letter word.  A poorly implemented lifestyle and a big fail.  It usually involves self-induced starving with more ridiculous over-restriction that leads right back to more binge eating.  Truth. 

[MeadowLily]

I have my own positive food management plan.  I didn't post or log my food as I was tooling along.  I don't need to use trackers of any kind. Thank you, T.D. for that discussion many moons ago. It's all here and available with your google search.   

We all know exactly where we're at with our clothes anyway.  No mysteries there. 

I don't recommend going beyond 30 days.  I used to think it was a badge of honor but I don't anymore.  I removed all of the compliant days from my siggie.  This is not a Whole 30 Forever. 

I believe the Reintro Process is every bit as important as 30 compliant days. It buys you some time to think through your choices and what their long term consequences will be. 

I have a problem with bread.  Not the gluten but the actual trigger of bread. I have an enormous problem with HFCS.  It is my Big Kahuna Trigger. 

I am a gummy bear addict. Thanks, Maw.  

Maw started me out on karo syrup.  She mixed it with my baby formula.  I was allergic to corn syrup as an infant.  She found that out the hard way as I had chronic colic.  I was a squally bawl baby.  I can't imagine giving a child corn syrup to try and calm chronic colic.  What a mess.

My Big Kahuna Trigger food is still corn syrup to this very day.   I don't touch any of it.  I don't eat packaged foods or drinks with HFCS. 

I can't take one bite of it and throw the rest of it away.  That wouldn't work for me.  Physically, emotionally and every which way but loose. 

Thanksgiving.  I'm thankful and grateful for my family and friends.  

I'm thankful that I'm no longer looking at diabetes - right it the eye.  Every 30 seconds, someone is losing a limb to diabetes.  I don't want to go out like that.  

[MeadowLily]

Today, I've lost one of the most powerful mentors in my life.  A beautiful man. I sent his photo to Hutlifr.  She knows it's true. 

This person changed my life.  They've been an encouragement to me every step of the way and to my entire family as well.  He was a relatively young man and his beauty came from his innermost being.  He traveled all over the world. 

Some are sent and some just went. 

He was heaven sent. I fell down to the floor with the news. 

Yesterday, on my way home from hiking.  I got a message.  I didn't know what it meant but I know now. I know exactly what I am supposed to do and I will do it. 

Something is going to happen.  A smoke signal.  I have to keep my eyes wide open so I don't miss it.  I'm going to be looking everywhere I go.  It's something really, really good. I'll let you know when it happens. 

I realize what happened yesterday was something extra special just for me. I don't like Goodbye's, Felicias.  I don't like saying goodbye to anyone. It's so permanent, until we meet again.  I don't say goodbye on the phone.  

So long now.  

Much love. Felicias. 

 

 

[MeadowLily]

Dear Sweet Potato,

Several years ago, I dissed you.  Who knew that only 100 years ago they were using potatoes for a diabetes treatment.  They say that the resistant starch in potatoes aids prebiotic gut bacteria.  Potato protease inhibitors increase levels of satiety.  

People all over the world are now potato hacking. Many moons ago, you had to go out into the woods and search for herbs and all Thanksgiving Day ingredients.  

Potato hackers are now eating 2-5 lbs of potatoes aday.  Plain. No ketchup, butter or sour cream.  And nothing else.

As with every other diet,  you'll run into problems trying to live only on potatoes.  Any diet with one ingredient will result in weight 'loss'. 

Anything you do in the name of weight loss...you'd better be able to do it for the rest of your life or the weight will return with 'friends'. 

You can put the potato hack right up there with the ice cream hack. Pasta hack. Rice ball hack. Cheese hack. 

Paleo peeples eat potatoes, yams, pumpkin, squashes. For the rest of the world it may be a hack but for us, it's old hat.  I made up with sweet potatoes and yams a long time ago. Potatoes are a healthier alternative to white, fluffy refined bread but hacking your life away with only pototoes is not a good strategy for the long haul.

Tomorrow,  I'll be having the Big Chick.  Pumpkin, squash, yams, sweet potatoes, brussels with bacon, balsamic reduction, Waldorf fruit salad with pomegranate, mayo, celery, apples, berries for a condiment and nuts for a decoration.  

I won't eat the white dinner rolls or pie crust (pie) for blood sugar and Big Kahuna Trigger regulation. Everything else is nutrient dense whole foods and that's the magic of creating your own positive food management plan. 

Mono-food diets are not the panacea for overall health and well being. There's always another streetcar coming around the corner promising you the moon but will drop you out on your head.   

[MeadowLily]

I'm weaned off of sugar. HFCS, sugar sugars and upside down sugars, artificial ones.  It's soooo worth it. 

It took longer than 30 days.  It took longer than 300 days. 

Fuel your body and not your emotions.  

I am Fruit Loose.  Fruit has digestive enzymes and fiber that I need, along with those in vegetables. Fruit does not cause an uptick in my blood sugar but I don't eat it standing alone.  

Have you ever met someone that rubbed you the wrong way... right off the bat. You don't really know them but you're just not a fan.  As time goes on, they start growing on you.  

After years, like sandpaper rubbing off  rough edges....one day you find that you lurve them so much.  They become one of your very best friends. You trust them when you're in a tight spot because you know that they're not blowing smoke. Ever.  They become your favorite go-to-people that you can run to for opinions, counsel and true friendship.

As you tool along, you realize that you and your friend have much more in common than minor differences. You can actually see yourself through their eyes.  In the beginning, this gives you a big pinch.  Mostly, because of the super ego and denial.  Huge rationalizations and rejecting those things you don't like about yourself. 

These people that you initally reject and kick to the curb, turn around and take a good hard look at them.  They could be your sister from another mister or a brother from another mother.  Your teachers for life's hard lessons.

I cannot promise you that all of these people will ever grow to love you back but love them anyway.  Don't let offenses build your fences of defense. Tear those walls down.

Well, sugar and I do not have that kind of relationship. We started off on shaky ground and it's never improved over time.  Time does not heal all wounds.  

Sugar made me go to rehab and I said nooo, nooo, nooo. But I had to go.

If you drive around while you're drunk, you're going to hurt others.  If you live your life on a perpetual food drunk, you hurt yourself. 

Honor self-care and spare yourself.

I was up late making many dishes for today's dinner.  It's waaay too much food but everyone wants the leftovers.  Thanksgiving is a day to enjoy the company of our loved ones.  

I can make these sugary dishes that everyone wants and it doesn't phase me because of my Pain List.  When I take a trip down memory lane, I can replay all of the days and hard work it takes to get here.

The hard work and pain keeps me sane.  I'm still on the food addiction recovery trail but sugar sux.  We are never getting back together and I can tell you that from the bottom of my heart.  My sweet southern fried husband is reminising about all of the sweet potato pies, pecan pies, "light bread" rolls, sage stuffing, sour cream mashed potatoes, peanut brittle and all of the tiddlywinks he fuels his holidays with.  

I will not rain on anyone's Thanksgiving food parade but no one puts baby in a corner. 

Late last night, I saw my reflection in the kitchen window as I was making dishes.  I don't live for the mirror like my pet parakeet.  I can get ready without ever really looking into a mirror after years of habit...simply focusing on my teeth or ears. 

I decided that I preferred that reflection over all of the sugary dishes and bread laden dough balls laying around my kitchen. They're guests of my husband and I wish they would've found their own B & B. He's genteel and southern fried, sweeter and kinder than I am about their presence.  Bless his lil ole pea pickin' heart. 

Sugar and I will never be friends. We broke up.  For real. 

Here's one for what sugar did to my life.

 

 

[MeadowLily]

Eatin' Britches take on a whole new meaning Thanksgiving Day. Don't wear your eatin' britches to Thanksgiving Dinner.  Everything in our house is about the "britchie" legs and seams getting all twisted in the dryer or your britches look like you're ready for a flood. 

Put your eatin' britches away, today.  Same them for Larry the Cable Guy. 

[MeadowLily]

Thanksgiving is over now. For some, it's like a big weight off of our shoulders. We've spent hours and hours preparing all of the dishes that were consumed in 30-40 minutes. Those that ate too much of the Big Chick were rolling around on the floor in misery.  Others wished they had simply El Paso'd on the dessert at the end.  Ooooo, if only.  A general consensus was reached, pleeease, let's not do this again at Christmas or New Year's.

Okie Dokie.  Fine by me,  I wouldn't mind if we streamlined the entire holiday cooking process.  Paw was thinking about the hungry children and I was thinking about our relatives that are standing out in the cold and have been for weeks now. He was wishing the hungry children were safe and warm with us. Me, too.  

There's not a big meal that goes by that Paw doesn't mention the hungry children and what it was really like growing up Paleo and Hunkpapa Sioux and hungry.  He doesn't take anything for granted. Me, neither.  

It's difficult for me to really give two hoots about a piece of pumpkin pie when I'm thinking about my relatives at Standing Rock. A couple of people here know me but for the most part, my ancestors and history are not tangentially related in any way to what many people consider Paleo.

Many moons ago, I stopped mentioning anything but there are days like Thanksgiving that bring everything back.... front and center.  

My husband fueled his holiday with all of his favorite foods.  Paw and I fueled ours with memories. I'm the eldest child in our family and first grandchild on Maw's side of the family.  

Birth order....they say

I'm happy I fueled my body and not my emotions today. I'm relieved it's over for another year.  

It ain't over until the fit lady sings. 

 

[Hutlifr]

I had a wonderful plate of bacalao, prepared by the expert hands of a Portuguese cook... Topped with peppers and onions, and a side of oven roasted potatoes... It was lovely... No dessert either....

 

[MeadowLily]

9 minutes ago, Hutlifr said:

I had a wonderful plate of bacalao, prepared by the expert hands of a Portuguese cook... Topped with peppers and onions, and a side of oven roasted potatoes... It was lovely... No dessert either....

 

 

[MeadowLily]

If you're going to  hoot with the owls at night, you better be able to soar with the eagles in the morning.

Or if you hoot with the owls at night you can't soar with the eagles at dawn.  

I was Paleo pooped from all of that cooking and non-stop dishes but not tired. I soared with the eagles and ran into town.  They had some good lookin' greens and I loaded up.  I like to add one fruit to my greens like luscious pomegranate, berries, sliced apples, orange, pear, anything but bananas.  I'm not banana eater. 

They were handing out free peppermint mochas to the early birds. I declined and the barista asked me why.  I told her I don't do sugar and she offered me the 'sugarless' one with artificial sweetner.  Thanks, anyway, but I'm not a coffee drinker or sugar eater.  

Then she told me she's had diabetes for 10 years and manages very well with the artificial sweetners.  I could hear my sister ringing in my ears....why not just let it gooooo, Louie.  So I kept my mouth shut...mostly. 

She told me that she needs some sugar every day to make sure her diabetes is managed and UP's her meds on an as needed basis with her snacks and so on.  My gears are starting to grind and I can still hear my sister...this is a test, this is a test so just give it a rest. 

I told her that I managed my blood sugar in a completely different way. No snacks, no sugars or sweetners because your body really cannot tell the difference between upside down sugars and the real thing.....and I eat 3 meals aday.  No more, no less. 

Then she added, you're doing it all wrong.  You need some sugar every day with her nose wrinkled up and a half Elvis curl. 

Do I ?   Ooooo shooo, fly. This is a test, this is a test.  If you know those Kid Ink lyrics...they're starting to play in my head.  

I've been waiting for this song, all night.
Sorry if I can't talk right now...
But you messin' up my high, high high high
Don't wanna hear what your talkin bout
Just turn up the music 

Super high, Scotty beam me out
Buzz kill, why you tryna bring me down
Shoe fly, cause I'm too fly
Talkin out yo @$$, too ply
I don't care what the word is
No I ain't tryna be rudee

I've been waiting for this song, all night.
Sorry if I can't talk right now...
But you messin' up my high, high high high
Don't wanna hear what your talkin bout
Just turn up the music 

My recent high that Whole 30 J9er gave me has been carrying me for days. Her words were so encouraging. Where are your Whole 30 sistas when you need them, they're in your heart. 

Encouragement is hard to come by....I remember what Whole 30 Photo Writer posted here about T1.  Those words carried me for almost 2 years. 

You really don't know how important your words are or meaningful. They matter.  So I let it all go, Louie.  I did not blather on and foam at the mouth. I released her to the Universe.

Our answers come when we're ready to hear them and apply them. Until then you're just blowin' smoke. 

 

[MeadowLily]

On 9/4/2014 at 9:08 AM, MeadowLily said:

"I'm a Type 1 Diabetic for 31 years. For EVERYONE, bread/starches, lactose (dairy sugars), white potatoes, corn, etc increases blood sugar. The only items that keep my glucose even-keeled are Proteins (meat), low-starch veggies (the ones approved on W30), healthy fats, and sparing low-sugar fruits (like berries, NOT like mangos or bananas).  No amount of avoiding these items temporarily will have them break down any differently when they are consumed.  If you want great #s to continue, your great habits need to continue.

 

 

 

 

Personally, I "triage" things that up my glucose. Example: mashed potatoes are absolutely NOT worth it to me, so I don't eat them, EVER. A fantastic small dish of gelato while walking the streets of Italy, YES PLEASE!  & I just take a little extra insulin to compensate for the spike from sugar and milk. I never drink sweet beverages (lemonade other than made with stevia, regular soda, glasses of juice, "sport drinks," etc), as none of them are "worth it" to me. 

 

 

 

 

 

The book It Starts With Food (a.k.a. ISWF) goes into some pretty eye-opening description of what dairy does to blood sugar! Yikes, I didn't know when I was slamming quarts of it the years before my diagnosis...."

 

Here it is.  These words mean just as much to me today as they did back in 2014.  

 

[MeadowLily]

No amount of avoiding these items temporarily will have them break down any differently when they are consumed.  If you want great #s to continue, your great habits need to continue.

^ ^ Photo Writer's words of truth.

I practice this.White flour is right up there with white sugar for the diabetic. Just heard on the radio today that 40% of americans will develop adult onset T2 in their lifetime. Almost 1 out of 2. 

I cannot and do not eat one bite of sugary treats and snacks. No amount of avoiding these items temporarily and then adding them back in dribs, drabs or drops will have them break down any differently for the diabetic or diabetes recovery and prevention.

Adding any of these things back in would bring diabetes right back to my doorstep. Faster, quicker and within a few months I would be exactly where I was in 2014.

I don't snack at all and whatever you do, don't skip meals.  Eating all of your food in an hour's time will slow your sugar metabolism even further for the very next day.

There's no way I could have released 100 lbs. to the sun for solar flaring if I had been skipping meals or fasting or dieting or binge eating or snacking constantly.

I've been there. Done that. Bought the tee-shirt. 

I eat nutrient dense foods. In the evening I load UP on greens and vege, meat or fish. A reasonable amount of good fats. It helps me sleep, too. I don't eat packaged foods or bars or smoothies. It's a Whole 30 habit that I wouldn't trade back in for diabetes.  

Diabetes is not worth it and it never will be. 

    

[MeadowLily]

Food addiction recovery comes first so that everything I love in life doesn't have to come last.

Food addiction recovery is a process.

It takes time.

It takes patience.

It takes everything you've got. 

 

Food addiction recovery is a choice that I make every single day.  One day at a time,  I'm sober.  I'm no longer living my life drunk on food and running my life on auto-pilot. Numbed out with food and letting that unconscious mode run the show for me. 

I am food sober and living the promise that you can really find freedom. Whole 30 makes this possible for me.  Every single day.  I had diabetes and a food addiction. 

It will take 10 X as long to put yourself back together as it did to fall apart. 

You will have to break yourself down to put yourself back together again.  

You will have to break through all of the barriers that are holding you back.  You will need to pull every last bit of the dross out of your head and heart.

No one can do this for you. You will have to make the choice that you want it with everything within your innermost being.

Fear is the memory of pain.

Addiction is the memory of pleasure.

Freedom is beyond both.

 

 

[MeadowLily]

 

Fear is the memory of pain.

Addiction is the memory of pleasure.

Freedom is beyond both.

 

Whatever you do in the name of food addiction recovery it needs to be sustainable.  Sustainability = Stability.  

Food addiction recovery = Weight stability.

If you build it, it will come.

It doesn't matter what you did yesterday.  If you did not find food addiction recovery with it and stability....

Clean that slate.  TODAY.

Do not look back over your shoulder.  Do not wander around in that food desert for 40 years looking for answers. 

Reach forward to the promised land.  Freedom with Food.

Yesterday is dead and gone.  It's over.

Don't look back and grieve for the past. Your past failures with food and lack of weight stability. 

Don't be troubled or anxious or fearful about the future.  It has not come yet.  

Let us live in the present.  

We have TODAY.  

We're in this thing called life together.  

Let's make it memorable.  Together.

 

Much love.  Felicias.

[MeadowLily]

Dare to feel the pain without the bandage of food or booze.

Let yourself feel the sting of the wounds so they can heal and breath naturally.

So the wounds of the past can heal.  For Real. 

 

[MeadowLily]

Fear is the memory of pain.

Addiction is the memory of pleasure.

Freedom is beyond both.

 

Kids thrive on routines. So do adults. 

Some have said that not being able to eat everything you want is not really Food Freedom but food hail.

Livestock given total food freedom can founder from eating too much grain. They will bloat and die. Horses can founder.  Allowing your dog to eat as much as they want causes major bloat and pain.

Stuffing your children can cause diabetes. Allowing yourself and all of your family members to eat massive quantities of food will get them nowhere good.  They may founder, bloat and croak from a heart attack.

That is not Food Freedom.  

Freedom is beyond both.

The binge eater feels total freedom when they amass large quantities of food for a full on food bender or food drunk. Swimming in food and founder....bloat, excessive misery is not Food Freedom.   It is floundering.

My Food Freedom does not include founder, bloat, excessive misery from amassing large quantities for thrill eating.

The hoarder feels freedom when they are surrounded by egg cartons stacked to the ceiling, newspapers and magazines used for additional walls in a house and empty plastic bins filled with multi-crap everywhere you look.

The cat lady feels freedom when a house, countertops, furniture and bathtub is filled with cats.

The dog lady feels freedom with a puppy mill...dogs are living in the cars, barns, sheds, bedrooms and shudder, cages.

The binge eater is addicted to the pleasure derived from eating every kind of food they like in one sitting for days, months at a time...in an unconscious mode on autopilot.

It is not Food Freedom but food hail.

Food Freedom is beyond both.

The recovery program for the food addict includes eating 3 nutrient dense meals aday.  Every day.  It is part of the Rx for recovery and relapse prevention.

This is why Whole 30 works for me.  I consistently eat 3 meals aday.  They do not include my Big Kahuna triggers.  I no longer want to founder on my food or be found out in the field with stiff limbs. Diabetes, knee pain, plantar faciitis, tendonitis or any kind of "itis".  A horse with no name and no place to roam free.

Eating 3 meals aday is not boring. The memory of all of that food pain keeps me sane. The memory of all of the imaginary pleasure lasted for about 5 minutes before the founder and misery set in.

 

 

 

[MeadowLily]

 

That used to be my theme song.

I am food sober and living the promise that you can really find freedom. The kind of freedom that is beyond floundering and foundering with binge eating.  Eating 3 nutrient dense meals aday makes this possible for me.  Every single day. It's become my second nature and I don't have to think about amounts or calories, micros or macros. 

 

 

[MeadowLily]

Let us surmise that someone secretly ate all the things over Thanksgiving. You've told everyone you're doing a Whole 30 and you don't want to lose face. So you secretly keep all of your secrets to yo'self.  Maybe you weigh every single day...secretly, or you eat tiddlywinks on the side, like your favorite pea protein powder, things like that.  

Secretly, you're doing whatever you want to and calling it a Whole 30.  The truth will find you out. I call that trying to turn the Whole 30 into another diet, secretly.  

I've been around long enough to see those who don't believe any Reintro is necessary simply dive back into all of their former faves on Day 31. After a few of those wash, rinse and repeats, some will come back around.  Some will start over but many will keep going.

And the doctor says I must weigh on the scale.  Oooo, bologna. I know that trick, too. 

So let's surmise that someone went on thrill eating ride over Thanksgiving. You've been eating all of the leftovers and here it is, Monday.  Maybe you have several Whole 30's under your belt and you're tooling along on your own positive food management plan.  

Don't start another diet.  Don't go on a 30 day potato hack or egg fast to get yourself back together.  Mono-food diets don't work. 

Take the bull by the horns and resume eating 3 normal meals.  Immediately.

Don't fast and don't hesitate.  Move on.  Don't look back in the rearview mirror or go check yourself out on the scale.  

As long as your long term positive food management plan is all dialed-in, you will be back in the saddle in no time.

Just don't try to pull the wool over your own eyes or anyone else's. Come clean and tell the truth.  If you want to break through all of the barriers of binge eating and secret eating....don't blow smoke.

Binge or secret eating or simply eating too much creates more false hunger the very next day.  I've learned how to surf through false hunger and emotional cravings.  It's a technique that takes practice and is part of my food addiction recovery.  

Isn't that the way?   

[MeadowLily]

Treating yourself with ice cream and cookies because you've cleaned the house is not a reward. That's a double negative or reward deficit disorder. 

Binge eating is a chronic disease of food rewards.  

Addiction is based on multiple motivational mechanisms. It progresses.  Impulsive to compulsive due to multiple neuroadaptations and negative reinforcement.

Rewarding yourself with ice cream and cookies for cleaning the house alleviates a negative emotional state. But that's only temporary.

There are multiple variations of food addiction and binge eating.

Engaging in behavior to achieve the effects you need for your appetite.

Preoccupied and always thinking about the next food addiction/ binge behavior thrill eating ride.

Temporary satiety and plying yourself with food you've amassed for the binge or reward for doing something you don't want to do.

Loss of control.

Suffering all of the negative consequences. Another binge is not a cure for a food addiction or binge eating disorder. 

Rewarding yourself with food for things you don't want to do. 

[MeadowLily]

Metabolic derangement is related to obesity induced insulin resistance/diabetes.

Obesity related derangement in metabolic regulation is a central player. Coupled with inactivity and a sedentary life, the major metabolic derangement results from insulin deficiency.

Obesity and diabetes = metabolic derangement. Obesity can bring on one or more metabolic derangements. Plus, those years and years of dieting/losing weight and rebounding back with every single pound and additional "friends"

Dieting and waiting until all of the weight is "lost" before you start moving out of couch mode will get you nowhere good.

You'd better start moving on Day 1 and don't quit. Every single day.

Move it.  Or you may lose it...weight along with your muscle mass. If the internal metabolic derangement doesn't catapult you out the door, think about the external.  Your skin.  It will hang down to your knees like a shar-pei  dog. 

You want to concentrate on building muscle mass as you are tooling along.  It is a delicate balance, retaining muscle mass while releasing pounds.  

The faster you go, the less it works.  Oooo, you can drop it like it's hot but the rebound will find you in less than a fraction of the time it took to release all of the weight.  

When you don't give your body time to sort out metabolic derangement at its' own pace, it's the recipe for a flop. You risk tanking out your thyroid when you eliminate every single carb or zero carbing it.  

Trying to recover from metabolic derangement along with a tanked thyroid, a lipid metabolism that increases triglycerides in your liver, pancreas, muscles while working through all of the bouts of rebound weight gain in the form of unhealthy fat surrounding all of your internal organs....couch mode won't get you there.

Move it.  On Day 1.

Find exercise that you can enjoy for the rest of your life.  Do all of it on your own terms.  If you don't move, the handwriting is on the wall. You don't mean business and you're pulling the wool over your eyes.

I've been around, you know. Those who didn't move until all of the weight releasing was done did not retain those good results.  Retain results with brain training and movement.  They go hand in hand.

Metabolic derangement will take everything you've got before you start seeing the internal fruits for all of your hard work and labor. After all of the weight releasing is done, it's going to take approximately 3 more years before your body starts working so hard against you.  

The metabolic derangement and fat wants you back.  Ooooo, it's relentless but you have to fight for yourself.  Keep one eye open. Olde sneaky snake doesn't give up.  That yellow-bellied lily-livered sapsucker.  

But, there's always hope.  Move, move, move.   

Rearrange that metabolic derangement.  One day, you'll be mentally giving your own personal exercise routine and positive food management plan the daily care and loving attention it needs to keep you growing stronger.

It takes true grit.  Don't look to the left or right. There is no such thing as the Finish Line.  The sky is NOT the limit and it never was.  

She believed she could.  So she did.   

Say it to yourself.  It will catapult you right out that door at some pace above completely still.  Snowy and icy days,  sunny and bright days. Move it on Day 1.  No one can do this for you.

You will have to keep encouraging yourself when everyone is long gone.