Not sure if I belong

[fishytales]

Hello,

I'm not currently doing the whole30 and am awaiting the book's arrival from my library. I have a LONG history, so I'd better not get into it or I'll just be unwelcome here

Shortest as I can be:

- currently early 30's

- last few years have been depressed, anxiety, lost jobs, lethargy, lack of concentration and motivation, unable to sleep, some diarrhea, but now usually constipation (or mushy, smelly undigested stool, sorry TMI), achy, even walks are a chore at times (used to be an athlete and now ...not).

I feel I likely have inflammation in my body, no good bacteria, hormonal issues, and a ton of other crappy stuff going on. Truly feel like I need a honest "cleanse" , BUT I am underweight (80ish lbs, 5 feet 2 or a little less), so I'm reluctant to be fooling around and risking losing more, you know? I want to be energetic and full of fire and life again.

I do eat a lot of fats (olive oil, coconut oil, whole eggs, fatty fish, nuts, nut butter, avocado, dark chocolate -- oh my

So now I'm worried cause I've seen a lot of people succeeding through IBS with low-fat or FOODMAPS, etc etc..But I'm not able to "mentally embrace that" I don't think.

recently started a multi, omega-3 oil, vit B complex, and vit C, and a vit D....have heard good things about L-glutamine but cannot affford right now.

I've also heard SCD and GAPS are beneficial, but seem so ...strict it almost overwhelms me.

i'm a SIMPLE person with very little budget so I can't handle complicated recipes etc (not good for my skills, time or anxiety).

I seem to eat the exact same things every single day and night and end up "binging" at night (just emotional I believe because my life is a mess)

Have also heard of success people have on a Dr.McComb''s protocol.

I've read "The Maker's Diet" , also a good read and insightful. And I've read books like "Spent" or mood and food connections, etc..

I don't know how to help my body on such a low budget and stuff . Like I "binged" again tonight and I keep screwing up. I don't want to lose, but I fele I need a freaking "detox'. Ugh. I don't know if paleo is for me...if anything, I might need more opposite. But I can't figure it out.

ALso, starting to worry I might be allergic to eggs cause I've eaten them for a long time and a lot of them, etc...

Oh and I often also have "Sde stitches " in my ribs (esp. left side) ALL the time, like there are big balloons of air and gas in my stomach and I can't burp them out or pass them out.

Life is swell

I'd just like to know all your guys thoughts. I'm kind of stumped and don't konw if maybe I'm way overthinking it and excluding things is wrong, etc...but I'm also just sick of this you know? It's made me emotional and obsessive around food and all that too. Almost orthorexic at times (except i eat dark chocolate WAY too much!)...

I do currently eat gluten-free, but do eat dairy, and other stuff. I live in an area that does NOT have grass fed beef and only occasionally sell hormone-free chicken (occasionally) . ..so I'm super limited with meat and other than that a lot of canned (cheap) fish ..

i just dont want to think anymore you know ? i don't want to feel so uncomfortable (docs keep trying to get me to take antidepressants like mirtazapine and lorazapam ..but I've resisted, am I wrong to resist?, I'm a real mess!) . I'm tired of feeling this way but also do not want to lose and do not want to obsess over food anymore -I want to focus on the things in life that really matter.

thanks for any feedback!

[Carlaccini]

Hi FishyTales

I hear you on the self doubt 100%. You see I was close to where you were 3 months ago. Unfortunately I am rather over weight and not under weight. But the moodiness and depression, and the overall feeling of crappiness was there. I woke up from one of my worst migraines to date and just said - I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. And the little voice in the back of my head said - ya.... so what are you going to do about it?

Intially I gave up the thing that I thought was causing the most problems - Dairy. Within a week of doing that I felt so much better. And you're talking to someone who LOVES ice cream and cheese. But considering my problems in the past that I had were connected with dairy - it was a no brainer. I did this for a couple of months also dabbling in gluten free here and there. Not willing to give up my sugar.... yet. Then about a month ago I tripped over Dallas & Melissa's book - It Starts with Food. All my questions and doubts if this was a right choice for me were answered in there. Seriously. And when broken down this diet makes. complete. sense.

I am currently on a restart - today being my day 0 of my whole 30. (Otherwise it would have been day 9). I feel great. I was initially discouraged this morning dwelling on my "mistake" but I think I'm over it now. What you need to have is a plan and patience with yourself. I too am an emotional eater (hence why I am overweight). And yes the first few days are a bit of a ride but techinically it's not as hard as I thought it would be.

So I highly encourage you to take the leap of faith and know that you can do this. And don't be afraid. This is a get healthy program.

[PaulaB]

I'm not a Whole 30 expert, but I've been "paleo" for over a year and a half, (and my interest also started with The Maker's Diet) so I'm going to jump in and suggest that you give the Whole30 a try. It may not be the solution to all your problems, but it will be a good start. Don't worry about the scale, and for now don't worry about FODMAPS or any of the other tweaks that might be necessary as you find out more about what makes you tick. You will be learning to eat enough of the right kinds of food to normalize your weight and nourish your body, while getting you to a more normal relationship with food. Many people find their mental health improves greatly, and if you still need medication after you've eaten this way for 30, 60, maybe 90 days, then at least you will know you have made a sincere effort to give yourself a solid nutritional foundation. Dallas & Melissa's book has such a great title--It Starts with Food!

The meals can be very simple, or you can search out new and delicious recipes. It Starts With Food says to make the best food choices you can, depending on your budget and what is available to you, with proteins, good fats, and vegetables getting the most attention. So many things are available over the internet or by mail, and there are many websites with great ideas on how to eat paleo on a budget. I find that when I add up all the things I do not eat (chips, cereal, cheese, milk, lunchmeat, soda, crackers, cookies, peanut butter, candy, jam, ketchup, commercial salad dressings, etc.) that I am not spending much more on what I DO eat.

I wish you well in this journey!

[Liam]

Fishy you most certainly belong, and welcome. As you have already seen, the folks are friendly and helpful. Read the book when you get it, use the forums often, and follow your heart. Your intro to the forum was your first step into a new world. Just remember to breathe....

[Derval]

Some great advice above, and just wanted to add my welcome. If you are interested in changing your health for the better you definitely do belong here

[fishytales]

Thanks, you are all very welcoming..

But again, I have real concerns:

- where I live there is no grass fed sources...none at all

- how can i possibly get enough cals at my low weight without being hungry? I find if I go overboard with fat, i get cramps and major bowel trauma too .

- I suspect I might be allergic to eggs

SO

Those things hinder me. I can only occasionally find chicken. And if I eat fish 3+ times a day I'll go nuts

[djoyce]

Fishytales

I read a lot of can't, won't and doubt in your posts. This program (in my limited experience) works great but it works best when it comes from a positive and health building place. Maybe that sounds a little "Organic" but I find this program, like life, is so much better when you approach it from the positive. Obviously, you have some challenges in your life. I don't question the hardship. However, we all have the ability to make positive improvements in our lives. Melissa and Dallas's program asks us to do our best and strive for 30 days of whole eating. If, before you start, you put up roadblocks, you are setting yourself up for failure.

If you want to try this program to make positive changes in your life, give it a try but you need to be ready and willing to apply yourself. If you don't have "any" grass-fed options, don't let this be a roadblock. Find the best food sources you can find and afford and build your Whole 30 around those options. After you source your options, then make a real determination on whether you can do this program.

As I just posted elsewhere, this program is pretty simple (learn and follow the rules), apply yourself each day for 30 days and see what results you can achieve. Note that I said it was simple but not easy. It will take effort and commitment. If you truly feel that you cannot do it, maybe this program is not for you. I challenge you to evaluate how much your reported binging costs. In your post you note that you know you are eating things that are not good for you. Only with a trial of the program will you find out if it works for you. Many of your issues you list have been helped in others who have completed W30.

I wish you luck and the strength to apply yourself to a solution to your trials. Let me know if I can help!

Cheers

DJ

[Robin Strathdee]

Hi FishyTales -

You have my welcome, as well :0)

There are many folks here who have fought through the beginning stages of the program with many of the same problems, doubts and fears as you have. What they have found is that sticking to the basics and seeking out support has been the key to their success.

Since you list them for us, I'd like to take a look at your concerns one at a time:

- where I live there is no grass fed sources...none at all

You can achieve all of the healing and benefits of the program without ever eating pastured meat. I promise. In fact, you'll find several folks here who just can't make room for that in their budget - and who are seeing great success. We recommend that you get the best quality protein that you can find and afford.

- how can i possibly get enough cals at my low weight without being hungry? I find if I go overboard with fat, i get cramps and major bowel trauma too .

There are no restrictions on portion size during this program. You are free to eat as much as you need to feel full and satisfied. Sweet potatoes, pumpkin and other starchy carbohydrates are an excellent source of volume and nutrients, especially for someone who needs to gain some weight. Also, some of the best "volume" vegetables (like cabbage) are also inexpensive. I would also recommend some digestive enzymes to help you break down the fat in your diet and calm your digestive stress.

- I suspect I might be allergic to eggs

What makes you think that you have an egg allergy?

I hope this helps calm some of your fears! Rest assured that as long as you are willing to learn and grow on this journey you are very much welcome here.

[Liam]

Good advice from djoyce & Robin. My two cents-

First, like Robin said, don't stress about the grass fed. It's great if you can get it, but lean cuts of the best quality meat you can find/afford will get you on the right path. If money isnt an issue you can always order from somewhere like US Wellness Meats (google them). Jut because you haven't seen GF beef in your local store doesn't mean that it doesn't exist in your area. Depending on where you live, one of the producers may be just down the road. If you give us an idea of where you are we may be able to help.

Second, forget that calories exist. A calorie is a measure of potential energy, not a measure for what your body needs. Like the Hartwigs say in their book, if you start with a palm-sized piece of protein, fill the rest of your plate with veggies, and give those veggies a good douse of a good oil like EV olive or coconut oil, your body will tell you when you've had enough. Chew every bite, give your body the chance to feel the input and listen to what it tells you. Slow eating is key. Your body's natural signals may be a bit out of whack and need some care and gentle love to find their voice again. You also may need more meals at the beginning. *Not snacks* If you are hungry enough to eat, a meal may be what you need. Use the tip from the book (fit to the type of food that appeals if their example doesn't enthuse you). If you think about a meal & feel like you could eat some of it, that is what you need rather than something snacky. Don't be stressed about the fats, your taste buds will help you with that if you are getting good sources.

Eggs, same question as Robin- what tells you you are allergic? It's not out of the realm of possibility, but there is a chance your gut just needs some time to re-adapt.

Good luck, we're here to help....

[fishytales]

Thanks again, your all very nice.

I definitely can't get grass-fed. I live in Canada and the specific place I live has nothing. I definitely am unable (trying not to say "can't"...just stating fact so I can work in my means and stuff) unable to order online. I am in a bad financial state and I am scraping by

Literally

So, its chicken (which oddly constipates me...) . I can purchase a kind that says "free of antibiotic and hormones" on it.

The eggs I get say they are antibiotic free.. I can't afford the organic.

I can afford some organic fruits , but not all (definitely not, the price differences are insane).

I am not doing the whole 30 now (ha I'm not even paleo) , but I'm thinking on it.

Again, weight loss is a concern. A lot of people say to pour on the fat, but I already eat a ton of fat and if I eat more my stool gets 30% more pebbly and greasy (it's bad enough as it is).

The reason I think I'm allergic to something is the little white/red bumps all over my knuckles and on some parts of my hands...its odd...have had it now for about 10 months....

I am taking fish oil, multivitamin, vit C, D, B and probiotics and the cheapest brand of probiotics I could find.

Does ANYONE here have any thoughts on antidepressants or antianxitety? My doc has wanted me on mirtazapine and lorazapam for the last 2 years and I've resisted. But I've accomplished nothing...would those things help me? I get irritated very easily, can't sleep much, worry a lot, anxious (racing thoughts, very jumpy, etc)...

I am lethargic and burnt out. Once a competitive athlete and now the last 2-3 years a walk is a chore and act of labor.

I'm afraid of the lorazapam cause it is a sedative.

I am afriad of the mirtazapine because apparently it causes weight gain (how i don't know...i also worry then that will affect my metabolism or make me gain weight wrong or stuff like that)...but i guess he prescribed that one cause i am lower weight + it helps with sleep...but...

I dont know anymore.

If you any of you have thoughts on that let me know. I just don't know if I ought to take them or not.

I've heard GABA or 5-HTP are natural (so better I guess) but their effectiveness is iffy and I"m not willing to fork over bucks for something up in the air like that.

I saw the book at the bookstore and trying to place it at my library if I can.

I think meal plans would be helpful most. But I see all these fancy recipes or ones with lots of spices or kinds of meat or something that I can't stomach and I'm not into that. I'm simple and get overwhelmed by complicated.

i noticed a book "Practical Paleo" and in the section that talks about all the digestive issues it says to cut out dairy, legumes, nuts, eggs, etc etc...that basically only leaves meats, fish, fats. Yipes!! Not sure I could do that.

I admire you guys that like sweet potatoes and pumpkin, etc. I guess I'm not into it.

I know I won't jump into it now. But I'll consider it and know that if I do it ever then perfection isn't necessary.

I've noticed a lot of bloggers doing whole 30 lately...unfortunately I think a lot of them are doing it to fuel their eating disorders versus the real reason people ought to pursue it.

[cin]

HI

I just started today, and I can't afford grass fed, etc so am doing the best I can I will start everyday doing the best I can. I am waiting for the book from the library also but may go buy it as I have a chapters gift cert. I did paleo off and on and felt great on. I also have gone gluten free can't really afford the gf foods at superstore etc. so will buy a box of cereal when I really have no other ideas, granted that is out for th next 30 days. I am going to a family bbq tomorrow, and will have a hamburger with lettuce etc. no bun, will not have coolers nice cold water is it.

I wrote an into - sept 1 start date, and said in it I have a lot of health issues, have been off work since last may and hubby is on disability. He also will not do this with me, but he should lol he has crohnic depression anxiety and is on a ton of meds, I think he would be institutionalizedf had he not taken meds to help. I also understand your reluctance to take the drugs as my dd is just letting us know that she is suffering too and won't take pills but did agree to a duty dr when he said go to mental health... I think thee is a place for drugs and help. If you are willing to get help along with ddrugs then yea why not try to help yourself.

I live in NS. Where do you live NF? just from your name... I agree with the guy who replied that negativity wo't help, It is not easy to do this type fo thing but it will get easier... and I lived with a very very neg set of parents, my hubby is pretty positive with most things surprisingly and I have had to learn to get more positive. I now am doing much much better, despite chronic pain to think positive adn look for something good daily. I always can find someone with way worse issues than myself.

So guess you can give it your best shot, when you have a day that wasn't totally on chart, brush yourself off and start again. and hey

not sure where you live but there should be some access to mental health, get some help, talk to someone and maybe yes try a very light dose of some type of med.

Hope things get better, and hey thinking they will, will help, believe me even if you are saying yea sure!

[Jesse]

Hey fishytales - I wanted to thank you for being so transparent and reaching out on this forum. I'm just starting my whole 30 today, and I wanted to share some of my story here, if that's okay. Maybe we can struggle together!

My family and I are in year 3 of our "life-repair" project after losing our house and falling deeply into debt... eating terrible food (but affordable food) and doing LOTS of prayer. The 2000's were truly a lost decade for my family.

Right now, we are starting to eat cleaner, but far from ideal. I'm giving myself permission to stink - my only requirement is effort - forward motion. It isn't pretty, but it is progress. We do what the math allows - buy big bags of frozen cheap meats (chicken breast, etc.) and frozen veggies - it's not grass-fed but it is a step improvement in the right direction as we work toward getting back on our feet. It's boring (water, chicken, beef, veggies and occasional yams), but we are starting to feel better.

As for economics, we have been making debt payments and moved to a new city for a new job - slow, persistent progress.

I hope we can be buds in our massive tasks, and try to eat our elephants one bite at a time. Sometimes I go insane at the size of the work ahead of me - I have to work at making myself think of the manageable steps I can take.

Anyway, I hope to post my new whole30 goals but I wanted to post here and follow this thread. It's good that you are reaching out! I hope you don't mind my piggy-back on your thread.