Gonna fight to stay whole.

[J9er]

Thanksgiving was a blast. Had an awesome time with our friends and got lots of snuggles with their kids. 

I had dairy for the first time in a couple of months. I reacted horribly. Not 100% sure it was the dairy. It seems like the most likely culprit as I didn't have any gluten that I know of. Had a horribly sore throat and massive headache for 2 days following. I thought it was a sinus infection but it cleared after cutting out the dairy  and I've been fine since. I've always known it didn't agree with me, but just find it so addicting for some reason and my symptoms were never severe enough to make me completely cut it out. Feeling so crappy after it may have been a good thing because I never want to feel that way again! The only other thing I can think of is that I got some gluten, somehow. I was pretty good about checking ingredients, but I know there were a few things i didn't get to look at. Either way, I have been successfully avoiding it before that weekend and plan to continue now. 

I did make it through with no guilt or shame in my food choices. They were deliberate, thought out choices, I felt in control the whole time. I had a small glass of wine one evening and a night cap of a German pear liquor that I love another evening and that's it. They were both sipped and appreciated and I didn't miss partaking like I usually do. 

Same with exercise. There is no more punishing myself. No guilt if I miss a work out.  I work out if I want to and don't if I'm not up to it. I am recognizing the difference between needing a little push to get off my butt, and knowing when I need a day off. 

Slowly, my appreciation for myself is changing. I am growing to appreciate this body, and love it for what it can do. The mind body connection is fascinating. Show yourself a little respect and it's amazing how that changes the way we view ourselves. 

 The trip did kind of wipe me out. Makes me realize I have a ways to go in building my energy back up.  I've been fighting to get back into my routine this week. Torrential rain the past couple days hasn't helped but I have at least felt up to some exercise each day which is good. 

 

 

[J9er]

Not much new over here but thought it was time for an update. 

Watched the documentary "Thin" last night. It's from 2006, I guess I've been hiding under a rock, I had never heard of it. I just found it so disturbing and sad. I've seen my share of sad cases working as a nurse, but this was sure awful. 

It kind of got me thinking about the fine line that we walk when it comes to watching weight and eating disorders and disordered eating. It's like one step over and it's really difficult to get back to balance. 

I do not have an eating disorder, nor have I ever had one. But I began worrying about my weight at such a young age. I would guess I was about 9 or 10. 9 years old! I Had parents who were fit and healthy and didn't struggle with their weight at all, and never mentioned my weight.

I recently came across a picture of myself taken with all of my cousins. I was probably 10 years old and was sitting in  a chair for the picture. I had my arms crossed over myself in a funny way. The more I looked at it l, intealized I was trying to hide my legs and stomach. And I'll be clear, I was not over weight at all. It's so sad I felt this way, instead of just being a kid and enjoying myself. 

I realize now that my weight struggles, my tendency to over eat and restrict came from the SAD diet. I ate a pretty balanced diet for SAD, but I think that eating so much wheat, bread, pasta and grains were what caused me so many problems, even at such a young age. Huge sugar spikes and crashes, caused mood problems, extreme hunger and then feeling ill because I overate, I would restrict, causing another swing in blood sugar. Anyways....just some random thoughts but interesting to piece it all together.

Still continuing to feel pretty well. Probably the best I have in ages. After 6 solid months of whole30 ish  eating I can't imagine going back. Although I was eating fairly well since my first whole30, this last 6 months has really allowed for some pretty great healing. The inflammation I was suffering from has finally subsided, my skin looks amazing, I'm not bloated, my mood has improved greatly. It's crazy how we as humans adapt to just feeling crappy and think that it's totally normal. FT healing is going well. I'm not entirely sure how to gauge where I am in the process, but I do feel better. Eczema is still hanging on, but has definitely improved. I guess if I'm using my skin as a gauge, I would say I'm not fully healed but making good progress.

I have been finding social situations to be a bit of a struggle still, though not because I want all the things....but because I don't. Most times it's ok, but the odd time I will get called out for being on "that" diet "still" or ask if I'm pregnant (!) because I'm not drinking.... 

A lot of times people are genuinely curious, and really want information...but it gets tiring to explain at times, and I just don't feel like talking about it all the time! 

We have decided to do an overnight back packing trip for Christmas. Brrrrr. A section of the AT in PA we really enjoyed last year. Our friends are going to join us. Because it's just one night we will take in a bunch of good food, and will do a little gift exchange. Looking forward to new Christmas memories, and enjoying movement and fresh air!

 

 

 

[Wendy and Frankie]

Forgive me if this is a dumb question, but what is the SAD diet?  I love your Christmas photo!  Looks very inviting and classy.  

Wendy

[littleg]

W&F - Standard American Diet

The next time they ask if you are preggers just show them your nice flat stomach  

What a great way to spend Christmas!  I hope you get just enough snow that its pretty but not uncomfortable  

All this time eating paleo and the thing that makes me the craziest is that when I/one chooses to eat this way (meaning: eat real food) it makes one the "oddball" on a "diet" who has to be a pain in the ass at restaurants, etc... when all it really means is that we are eating FOOD.  That comes from nature, not a factory.  I don't understand why its not weird to say "please be sure to add some TBHQ, citric acid and dimethylpolysiloxane" to whatever oils you are cooking my food in...  (but all the franchised chains probably do this without having to be asked).  But asking to have food cooked in butter!?  Gasp!

Ok, off my soap block  

Thanks for the update!

[J9er]

Yes! It is really backwards isn't it!?! UGH!!!!

My mom came for a visit for the weekend. She's a pretty clean eater (doesn't eat nearly enough and over all could use a few tweaks, but really she does pretty well. I did talk to her about her nut consumption and she did listen and take my advice. She doesn't snack on them but relies on handful (s) at a time for "protein" to quote her. But she did some reading on the subject and is going to cut way down. I think she just thought it was healthy and super convenient. 

I tried my hand at a faux cheesecake for my husband's bday. Another win. He thought it was great. Too many  nuts in my life lately though. I did some Christmas baking and made the "cheesecake", everything was  packed full of nuts (cashews cream, almon flour). My tummy does feel a bit off. Doesn't surprise me since I almost never eat nuts and now have had tons over the past couple of days. 

Have been feeling in control of food choices but dont want to let my guard down.  I've been enjoying the treats, but just need to stay mindful. 

 

 

[J9er]

On 12/17/2016 at 8:44 AM, Wendy and Frankie said:

Forgive me if this is a dumb question, but what is the SAD diet?  I love your Christmas photo!  Looks very inviting and classy.  

Wendy

Thanks! The fire has been so lovely. We didn't use it a lot last year because our wood wasn't fully seasoned and the weather just wasn't cold enough a lot of the time. It has also been a bit of a distraction for me! It is so addicting to sit in front of it with a good book, I've had a hard time with motivation! 

As littleg said, the SAD is the standard American diet....unfortunately is really kind of "sad" too lol. 

[J9er]

Doing well over the Christmas holidays. Spent a night out back packing with my husband and some friends. It was just so nice to be away from the hustle and breathing fresh air, and enjoying the good company. 

As much as we missed our family, we were happy to not be traveling. We usually end up rushing around onlynto parknour butts on the couch to visit, only to rush off to the next couch. It's exhausting. We were able to keep our routine this year and also just enjoy each other (myhisbamd too two weeks vacation). 

We did still do some Christmas shopping this year but kept it to a minimum and we finished on December 1, so had no need to step foot near a mall or store for all of December, which was amazing. My husband and I gifted each other some things we have been saving for, but our biggest gift was a big load of amazing groceries to enjoy over the holidays. Items we would not usually splurge on during the year. It's been pretty fun. 

I did a bit of "paleo baking" and we did enjoy it, but I'm mostly over it now. I do notice though that I am thinking of sweets a lot more since allowing in some sweeteners (honey and maple syrup). I feel ready for a break from sugar again, and am hopeful it won't be difficult as I haven't gone completely off the rails. 

I'm  still continuing to feel well, my eczema is still hanging on which is interesting because I have stayed gluten free now for well over 6 months. I don't doubt that it was exacerbated by gluten, but the recent reading I've done is suggesting the type of eczema I have is highly related to candida overgrowth and mold exposure. All the more reason for me to get back off the sweeteners. As for the mold, I know our current house is  bit musty and we have a damp basement, but I'm not entirely sure what to do about it considering we will be moving within the next year. 

My mindset going into the New Year is different this year. Feeling strong and looking forward to getting stronger. I don't have a goal of losing weight, for probably the first time ever. I have a goal to try some new things, lift heavier than ever, do some workouts out of my comfort zone. Although I feel ready to give up sugar again, it's not out of guilt or shame, but just knowing how I feel when I am free of it. There's no plan for a whole30 or any set time to be free of sugar or even any guarantee I won't have it in cooking etc. This tells me I'm in control of my choices and it feels great. It is interesting though, that high I feel so well and strong, I still feel like there is  fine balance. Like I need to remind myself of my food freedom. I suppose it will get easier with time and just like anything, needs practice.

Using my eczema as a gauge, I do know I probably have a way to go still with my healing, but I'm ok with that. I feel like I have come so far, and the toughest part is over. Hopefully  

[littleg]

LOVE that second to last paragraph!  

If you are looking for strength programs, I enjoyed Wendlers 5-3-1 program.  Starting Strength is also a great place to start but I felt like Starting Strength was a bit too much for me (because I wasn't really a beginner and because I was a woman the linear increases were just too much).  

Have you heard anything about your husband's next relocation?  

[J9er]

Thanks! Will check out Wendlers for sure. Am also going to check out Noelle Tarr's new program Strong From Home which is coming out in January. She released a 2 week sample program which I have yet to try, and I'm not too sure of all the details of her new program but I would love to support her. She is a go getter, and I just love the message she and her podcast partner portray (they do the Paleo Women Podcast)....so we'll see. Either way, it's time for a new challenge. 

Negative on the relocation front. It's such a frustrating time because we are in a place where it could be one month or one year before we move, we have no idea, so we just wait. It makes it so hard to want to start anything new (ahem, job??). The company is still working on a number of bids so I'm sort of guessing the first job they land is where we will head. It's a crazy life sometimes!! 

[littleg]

I've used some of her workouts from her website - I'll have to go check out that 2 week one!  Thanks for the heads up  I haven't listened to that podcast - I'll check that out too.  I tried listening to Juli Bauer's podcast on sugar addiction yesterday.  Holy f-bomb.  Every other word out of her mouth... I guess I'm too old for that - it still boggles my mind that "professionals" in their late 20s don't realize that it is inappropriate...  (or maybe it isn't, to people in their 20s?).  

Tough just being in limbo waiting... but on the other hand you at least of the possibility of moving somewhere like Hawaii to think about!

[J9er]

It's been a little while since I posted. 

Had another winter camping adventure. New rule, we won't be going out in any temps below freezing again. It was 12 degrees overnight (-10c), holy moly I was cold. It was tough to keep our water from freezing....no thanks. 

Was off in Seattle for a few days last week. Am back refreshed and rejuvenated. I was treated to a spa facial by my hubs company and it came just in time to heal my wind/cold damaged face from the dang winter camping!

it was a work trip for my husband but we did get to spend one day wandering the city together. We have spent a lot of time in Seattle, but we love it just the same every time we go back. We wandered the market, side streets and waterfront and found a great little resto for lunch. Gluten free, could have been dairy free, but I opted for the blue cheese on my salad. All of the food is sourced within 360 miles, and was amazing. Pork belly, rabbit sausage were among the things we sampled. Yum. 

I took containers of turkey stew to heat up for breakfast. It was nice to have some clean food I could completely trust. I found myself feeling not the greatest after meals, despite being gluten free and only having the one little bit of blue cheese. Soy is a culprit for me and brain fog, so I suspect it snuck in somewhere. We also hit up a little shop that serves Columbian drinking chocolate....amazing, and worth it. They offered 1oz, 3oz and 5 oz cups of it. We each had a 1oz and were both glad as it was so rich. 

I ran 5k on the second morning there with a Friend who is training for some run. I haven't run in....years probably. I felt good! I won't be taking up running anytime soon, but it wasn't half bad with a view of the Olympic Peninsula in the foreground. We ran 5k and then walked 5k back to the hotel. We then walked all around the market again and hit up a BBQ joint for some amazing smoked meat. Did contain sugar, but no other nasties. Amazing. I had intended on getting a salad from somewhere else, but I ate so much meat I just couldn't. 

The evening was a dinner event and I suffered through the meal. Thankfully I was still full from lunch. I ate mostly salad and veggies. My protein intake was probably sufficient for the day. 

My friend and I got up early again and rented city bikes. You rent them for $8 and they pop out of a docking station. You have 30 mins to get them to the next docking station but you can immediately remove it and continue on. We spent 3 hours biking around the city, chilly, freezing really, but a great way to put on some miles and see some sites. Hit up another eatery with local food - I had corned beef hash with 2 poached eggs. Also amazing.  

The event dinner that night was good but I was hangry by the time we got to eat. The gluten free option was a grilled veggie stack....no meat , probably 1/2 the amount of veggies I would eat in a sitting and nooooo protein and probably no fat. I did treat myself to a couple gin and sodas so I kind of forgot how hungry I was after that . 

We hit up an amazing breakfast joint early the next morning and I packed back a massive breakfast, with only a slightly disapproving look from my waitress lol. 

In other health news...My eczema is nearly cleared. The best it's looked in 3 years. I'm feeling really well. At my last FM appt, she was super pleased with my progress. I'm finishing out the supplements I have and will move onto repopulating my gut with probiotics, adding in vitamin d and adding a little adrenal support. I'm not sure I for sure will need the adrenal support as I'm feeling so well these days. My orthostatic hypotension is gone, I've been working on my sleep and having success with it, and have revamped my workouts. So I'll see what she says next appt. 

still seeing some body comp changes which is good. I think the biggest change came from the huge decrease in inflammation and any further changes will be slower now. TOtally fine with me. Still have a fair amount of belly fats done have high hopes it will continue to decrease, and it's not about looks, really. I just don't feel like it's a healthy thing....all that fat in and around the organs. Anyways, amazing what a difference a few diet tweaks and the supplements have made in a short amount of time. 

[jmcbn]

Seattle is definitely on my bucket list, along with San Francisco..... One day!! Sounds like you had a great trip...

We have the bikes here too, and in London, and also in Athens when I was back there in the summer. They're a great way to see the city, provided you kind of know your way, otherwise they're a bit of a safety hazard.

Good that you're still seeing improvements - we all know it's baby steps all the way...!!

[J9er]

Luckily I'm a pretty experienced cyclist and have ridden through quite a few cities because maneuvering those heavy bikes was no small feat! Seattle is a really bike friendly city though, and the people there are SO nice!!! 2 or 3 different times people stopped their bikes to help as we must have had super confused looks on our faces and the drivers were super respectful too. 

Highly reccomend cycling in Seattle  

my view running along the water.....I want to go back!! 

 

[littleg]

Yeah positive changes!  Yeah Seattle (we've never been but I've never heard anyone say anything negative)!  Thinking about sitting on a bike seat right now <shudder>.  

 

[J9er]

Oh my goodness @littleg. LOL that is making me shudder for you. No way....give yourself a few months. 

Also, I smelled the seal for my Pressure cooker. Gag. I'll be getting a new one. Or two. It smells like bacon and Kaluha pig. With some curry undertones. 

I'm  taking down my Christmas tree today.  So sad. I have left it until Valentine's before....but I figured it should come down before we MOVE! just got the news. We are headed to Portland, OR. Well, 95% sure. We get the official word Hopefully on Feb 2. But will probably be immediately packing up and heading west after that. It's not Hawaii....but it'll do. So I'm madly going from room to room with a garbage bag, getting rid of stuff we haven't looked at since the last move. Also washing windows. Ugh. If we end up staying, at least my house will be really clean.

[littleg]

Portland - cool!  I'm a little jealous

[J9er]

Well, the reality of moving has set in and to be honest, I just kind of feel like sticking my face in a bowl of noodles with butter and parm. I also almost ordered pizza the other night. Times like these make me remember my old ways of relieving stress but I know neither of those things would be at all helpful and would probably make me feel wayyyyy worse. 

So, I over hauled my freezer and got out a bunch of stuff for my husband to eat at work tomorrow. Took inventory of the things we need to eat - not much because I've gotten into the habit of using up what I have on a regular basis, and am scrubbing my oven....ugh. 

I AM looking forward to some delicious whole30ish - maybe more paleoish eats in Portland....we are hoping to have a place figured out by the weekend so we can have some free time (I'm sure we go on these trips with these same intentions each time and it has never worked out this way -- but here's hoping). 

 

[littleg]

http://nomnompaleo.com/post/100142842158/paleo-in-portland-teote-ox-kyras-bake-shop

Funny, she doesn't have a post like this for upstate NY...

[J9er]

If you ever want an adventure, bring babe and come to Portland to hike up some mountains and eat good food! Ya know, maybe after you recover and are getting more than an hours sleep per night 

[littleg]

I'd love to come to Portland!  Hubs and I have an *extensive* list of places we want to go...  not sure yet how much of that list we'll be able to get through with little man now.  I sure hope he likes to hike (because all the places are, surprise, surprise, hiking related - and a few cities - Portland, Seattle, Anchorage... places near outdoorsy stuff!).  Hubs thinks that 3 years old is a good time to bring him to Moab ("our" place - we honeymooned here and took a trip here while dating, hubs has been probably 7-8 times in his life).  That might be pushing it - I don't think they make mountain bikes for 3 year olds

Hows the packing and downsizing going?  We are accumulating $hit at an astonishing rate (looks like Babies R Us vomited in our house)... while you are shedding it.  And sleeping  How nice for you 

 

Oh, and I made broth yesterday with 2 carcasses... (the $$$ ones) - what a difference!  Dark brown in color and definitely more gelled.  I had to use too much water (bones were frozen and I couldn't compress them well - so had to use a decent amount of water to cover them) but I'm super happy with how much better it came out!  If I could just find some chicken feet from a decent source...

[J9er]

Well. What a whirlwind. Life has been a little crazy, and I don't anticipate it slowing down too much. 

I was on the west coast for a week, we found a place to rent. I always forget what a stressful process it is. We got raked over the coals with background checks etc but we found a place we love and hope that it all works out there. 

After we got the details ironed out we still had the weekend to have some fun. We did a little hiking, a full day road trip on the Oregon coast, and some relaxing. It was a LOT of eating out. It got a little challenging to find something cleanish and that fit our mood. I still find it amazing how difficult it is to get veggies other than a salad....and we all know my feelings about salad. 

I stayed gluten free and mostly dairy free as usual. I try my best with the other culprits but tried not to sweat it too much. I did end up with one tummy ache, from dairy, but it was oh so worth it. Some amazing ice cream, thatbwas oroabbly THE BEST I've ever had, and has pretty much tamed my desire for any other kind of icecream. 

We got in a routine of picking up a few things from Whole Foods for breakfast. They have a breakfast bar that has a lot of options. A few fully compliant items and lots of things that are pretty clean. 

I still came home with a woken up sugar dragon and it's taken all week to get him under control. Finally feeling better today. 

I definitely had indulgences, but I was pretty mindful, and it's amazing how strong the dragon can come on. But, still no guilt, just a bit of discomfort getting it under control, and SO happy to be loading up on veggies back in my own kitchen. 

We will have another couple of weeks in a hotel after we move, and I will be taking advantage of a kitchenette. Probably will be a lot of aidells type sausage and frozen veggies  as well as wholefoods buffet items etc, but I'm fine with that. 

Trying to keep my stress to a minimum - hard. Have some shifty things happening with our landlord and realtor. I know I just need to let it go, and I'm trying, but sometimes it just seems so unfair. But, lots of deep breaths and getting some fresh air are helping. 

Workouts going well, simple, basic movements , quick but effective. Still seeing lots of body comp changes. So interesting my basic measurements have been slowly changing, weight has been mostly unchanged for months now. No tracking macros and no intention to. I find my meals just end up being composed intuitively.

I did find I ate a lot more carbohydrate while I was away - due to what was being offered and available at times, and maybe this contributed a bit to the cravings I experienced when I got home? but other than that I felt fine for that period of time on increased carbs. Would be interesting to play around with this a bit more.

anyways, rambling on here.....off to work on all the nitty gritty move details. 

Me on the Oregon coast  

[jmcbn]

Looking great! And happy!! The weather looks a lot like it is here..... grey, damp, windy....

I know what you mean about the veggies. All the decent eateries are pretty good here, but go anywhere a little lower down the food chain & there's a very apparent limit to what's available. The company I work for has a branch on a tiny island between Ireland & mainland Britain called the Isle of Man and the last time I was there the struggle for ANY veg was real!! A garnish beside the fries was about the height of it and people thought it odd that I wanted more....!!

Best of luck with the move - I keep contemplating moving, and then I think about the logistics of actually packing up and take a raincheck!

[vozelle]

Hi there @J9er, I happened upon your posts after searching "Chris Kresser" on the forums. I was curious to see if other folks had done the various functional med tests and what their results were. Wow!  I've really enjoyed reading about your gut-healing journey, and it's uncanny how parallel our paths have been.  I sought the support of a functional medicine MD last Sept after going through a lot of what you described and trying to "biohack" my way out of it without any support. Like you, I then did all the gut testing and have been steadily progressing through the treatment protocols... healing from SIBO, parasites, anemia and other issues. SO grateful to have found my MD!!  Congrats on your successes, may we both continue on our journey toward wholeness and vibrant wellness!!

I'll be visiting Portland at the end of the month, was planning on setting up camp at the Whole Foods hot bar (LOL!). If you hear of any great Paleo-oriented restaurants in town, please let me know! Good luck with your move, and thanks for sharing your inspiring story.  : )

[littleg]

Can't type much.  One handed as usual.  The master has quite the appetite!  He gained 3 lbs in 4 weeks!  And we aren't allowed to put him down.  Ever.  I have a blog for you to pass along for your sister, just in case her baby doesn't behave how the parenting books say she will... but I don't want to scare her

Love the pic!  You look so happy!  So happy to hear you continue to see success

Good luck with the move.  Keep  us posted from the left coast!

[J9er]

Oh! So glad you found me @vozelle!

Yes, it is so awesome and exciting to be feeling better! I sometimes cringe at the money situation, but try to remind myself this is a MAJOR investment in my health now, and for the future, and it's dumb to put a price on it! 

If you're on Instagram check out #nomnomeatspdx, and/or follow nomnompaleo on Instagram if you have it, or a couple posts above, littleg left a link for a blog post Michelle Tam did about eating around Portland. We did a ton of eating on my last trip there, and it was awesome. One place she goes to a lot is Feastworks. It's out of the downtown core, but if you have transportation, definitely go. It was so great. We got the sausage sampler and big salads. We got an extra sausage sampler to eat for breakfast at the hotel along with stuff from the wholefoods salad bar. 

 @littleg wish I could come give your arm a rest  nothing like those baby snuggles. And you just hold that baby!!! Who needs to shower, right?? Glad to hear he is gaining like a champ! Smart boy! My friend is due with her 4th in the next couple days, just HOPING  he comes before we leave town so I can get some cuddles in. 

My sister would probably love to read the blog. She likes to be prepared for all scenarios. She has wanted to be a mom forever, but has not spent a ton of time around babies and children. I can't quite decide if that's good or bad haha. But like my mom always says, humans have been raising babies for a loooong time . She'll figure it out. 

@jmcbn Yes, the weather there is primarily grey and wet. That was the one thing I loved about the east coast, rain days few and far between. My husband is on his 10th consecutive day of rain there. But he always says: at least you don't have to shovel rain. Lol. And yes, moving is crazy. We love to move and tend to get a little restless after a couple years in one spot, but it is a LOT of work, and I always want to just get it over with!! 

I'm plugging away here still, keeping my house clean and going through all of our stuff is taking up most of my time. Eating the same thing over and over because Cooking for one is a little rediculous. Lots of ground beef and salmon. Easy, fast, cheap.