Group Dinners - What to do when non-Whole30 friends mean well...

[mdbarry10]

Tomorrow is day 9 for me and all is going really well. A few of our friends have group dinners every other week and we all rotate cooking. Next dinner is tomorrow and it’s not our turn this time around (luckily it will be in 2 weeks on day 23), so we aren’t in control of what is made for dinner. Knowing we are doing Whole30, the host this week said she would make tacos so that we can partake in dinner, though despite her efforts, I know it is hard to even find compliant taco seasoning and I doubt the meal will actually end up being compliant. So, do I:

 

a) Go to dinner, turn a blind eye to seasoning ingredients, and eat what is provided as long as it isn’t obviously noncompliant,

b ) Go to dinner and ask what the ingredients of everything is and risk telling her that after all her efforts to make something for us, “Sorry, I can’t have the dinner you made,”

c) Secretly eat some dinner at home before going over and then only nibble on what is provided that is in the clear, or

d) Bail and not go, making dinner for myself at home?

 

If she wasn’t making an effort, I would simply bring my own dinner and have what I could when I got there, but now it feels rude to show up and not eat anything since she is catering to us. I know she means well, but I'd almost rather her do her own thing and we'll figure dinner out ourselves. If this was post-Whole 30, I would use this as a treat and not mind having noncompliant taco seasoning, but I’m in the middle of it right now. No cheats, no slips. Those are the rules.

 

How do you handle situations like this without being rude?

[GFChris]

You could say something like, "I appreciate you wanting to accommodate me.  At that same time, it's really important that I eat only the foods specified on my current program for 30 consecutive days, to accurately pinpoint which foods make me feel more or less healthy when I'm finished. This time around, feel feel to do your own thing and I'll bring my own dinner, so it's a win-win for everyone."

[jent103]

Yep, what Chris said. It's so kind of your friend to try to cater to you, but unless she really knows the rules or you know she cooks everything from scratch (no seasoning packs), it's very likely you'll end up with something noncompliant despite her best efforts. While on a Whole30 (and even off), I've brought my own meals to these sorts of things tons of times, and I've never had anyone be upset that I know of.

[Seafarer]

I assume by now that you can't head her off, since the menu is already planned, but maybe bring your own taco seasoning (and maybe even your own tacos) with you (in a cooler in the car?) and tell her you are really sorry but this is really important and ask what seasonings she used. If not compliant... and she might surprise you (let's hope).... then tell her you brought your own just in case. Hopefully she's a really good friend and will be okay with that. If she isn't, explain that at this stage anything off-plan is very likely to make you sick. (which is true)

 

I hope this all works out okay for you! It's a tough situation, that's for sure. Good luck!

[mdbarry10]

Thanks for all of the feedback! In this case I actually got swamped at the office and didn't leave til 8pm, so needless to say, I missed dinner. I'll probably take a more proactive approach next time around though and say "thanks but no thanks" and bring my own stuff with me.

[ThyPeace]

Possibly unrelated, but I've found that I can make great tacos without the undesirable ingredients.  For me, the key is paprika, cumin, chili powder, garlic powder, and salt.  DH and I have taco salad with ground beef flavoried this way fairly often and thoroughly enjoy it.  It's also important to add water and let it all simmer a bit -- the spices will thicken things up into a nice sauce.

 

ThyPeace, plus lettuce, tomato, onion, red and green pepper, home-made salsa, home made guac, and sliced black olives.  Fantastic.