Saree_maree Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 I finished my Whole30 on Thursday, September 24. I had another compliant day on Friday. Yesterday was my birthday. I had a compliant meal 1 and post-workout (12 mile run, 15 mile ride - big training day). Meal 2 was all compliant food but with a glass of wine. Meal 3 I went out for my birthday dinner. It was also all compliant food, although there was probably some sugar in the salad dressing at the restaurant (I didn't ask). I had an amazing meal. Appetizer was half a dozen raw oysters. Then for dinner I had a kale salad with toasted hazelnuts and currants in a lemon vinaigrette topped with a big piece of grilled rare wild Atlantic salmon. Delicious! I did have three drinks with dinner: a cocktail beforehand (so some added sugar here), a glass of wine with my food, and a scotch afterwards. Some thoughts on my first drinks after 30 days of abstinence: the wine at lunch made me very sleepy. My biggest concern, that the alcohol/sugar would trigger desires to eat junk food, or order dessert after dinner, did not come to pass. I was totally satisfied with my food. I also was very pleased that I went out for the night with the intention of having three drinks, and did exactly that. Not one more. I have in the past been known to get carried away! I got home fairly early and went right to bed. I fell asleep fast but did not have the solid sleep I have so enjoyed for the last month. So now I know that alcohol disrupts my sleep. I woke up this morning feeling dehydrated, without an appetite, and totally unmotivated to work out. So I can chalk that up to the drinking too. All good things to know. Now of course three drinks is not a normal night for me, that was a special occasion. I still want to know what effect one glass of wine with dinner has, since that is what was typical for me prior to doing a Whole30. But my plan for today, since it is still my birthday weekend, is pretty much like yesterday. My boyfriend and I are going to spend the day at the beach. Eating wise, the plan is compliant food + alcohol (just wine today, no liquor) and minimal added sugars. Starting if off right now with some hard boiled eggs and a baked sweet potato, with a big mug of black coffee. We'll pack a picnic for the beach. Then tonight we're going to cook steaks with roasted potatoes and green beans, sauteed mushrooms and onions, and a green salad. Then back to strict Whole30 eating on Monday for a couple of days and on to reintroductions, probably starting Wednesday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 So there was a little change of plans tonight. After a long day at the beach neither of us felt like cooking, so we ended up going out to dinner. I had a grilled chicken breast with a green salad, sauteed peppers and onions, and two organic margaritas (organic tequila, organic agave syrup, lime juice, club soda). Going to bed early for an early wake-up time and and early AM run. Back to strict Whole30 eating tomorrow. BTW, picnic lunch was raw veggies, guacamole, compliant kippered herring, and an apple. We shared a bottle of (illegal on the beach) champagne. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted September 29, 2015 Author Share Posted September 29, 2015 Compliant day. A little bit of GI upset this morning, assuming secondary to a weekend of drinking. 8 hours of sleep, up at 4:30. 4 mile tempo run at 5:30. Hard boiled egg and coffee pre-workout, banana and kombucha post. I had to rush to get ready for jury duty, so I missed Meal 1. I was starving by the time I got there, so I got an apple and a cup of black coffee from the snack bar at the courthouse. I packed a compliant lunch to bring with me and I ate it at noon: guacamole, can of compliant water-packed anchovies, carrot and bell pepper strips. I wasn't dismissed until after 5:00PM (and I have to go back tomorrow grrrr....) so I didn't end up getting to eat dinner until after 7:00. I had a chopped salad with baked chicken breast and olives, plus half a baked sweet potato with coconut oil. It was a pretty big dinner but I felt like I was in a significant deficit for the day and wanted to try to make it up. And I'm not over full now so I think I did okay. The good news is I don't have to report tomorrow until 9:15 so I will have time to run again in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted September 29, 2015 Author Share Posted September 29, 2015 I weighed again this morning. I had fully anticipated gaining a little since I had a very food-centered weekend, ate a lot, and took in a lot of additional calories in alcohol, plus took a day entirely off all training on Sunday. But instead I'm down another half pound just since Friday and I just don't know what to make of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 Compliant day. Had a great 8 mile run this morning and felt very in tune with myself and my body. I'm feeling pretty much back to how I did at the end of my Whole30, with good steady energy all day long and no digestive issues, so tomorrow I'm starting reintroductions. I'm doing legumes first. My plan is some peanut butter for my fat with Meal 1, hummus (commercially prepared, certified gluten free, made with chickpeas and also has some soybean oil) with raw veggies for Meal 2, and organic black beans with Meal 3. I tried to eat some extra fats today. I had a double serving of guacamole with my lunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Legume reintroduction. Meal 1: 2 hard boiled eggs, fist-sized baked sweet potato, banana with tablespoon of peanut butter, black coffee Meal 2: About 2 cups of sliced raw vegetables (carrots, celery, bell peppers), 1/2 cup hummus, 1/2 palm baked chicken breast, an apple, sparkling water Meal 3: organic canned low sodium black beans, salsa, sparkling water I noticed zero reaction after Meals 1 and 2, other than that I got hungrier than normal in the afternoon, which I attribute to the lower protein content of my lunch than a strict Whole30 lunch would have been. After Meal 3 I felt and looked a little bloated in the belly, but I did eat a whole can of beans! I suppose I have to wait to see how I feel tomorrow and the next day, but my initial impression is that legumes seem pretty benign. I will say the peanut butter was a huge former binge food for me, so I probably will mostly avoid it. The hummus was delicious and I could see that being an occasional treat. The black beans were just okay. So maybe I don't have to bend over backwards to avoid legumes when I'm out to eat or a guest at someone's home, but can just continue to exclude them as a general rule in my daily routine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Compliant day. Still no discernible reaction to yesterday's legumes. Feeling great, actually. Had two strong workouts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 Compliant day. Tomorrow I am reintroducing non-gluten grains. I have a 14-mile run planned, and I am looking forward to a pre-run bowl of oatmeal. Then maybe some corn chips with lunch, and rice with dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators ShannonM816 Posted October 3, 2015 Moderators Share Posted October 3, 2015 I weighed again this morning. I had fully anticipated gaining a little since I had a very food-centered weekend, ate a lot, and took in a lot of additional calories in alcohol, plus took a day entirely off all training on Sunday. But instead I'm down another half pound just since Friday and I just don't know what to make of it. This is one reason for the no weighing rule during a Whole30 (I know you're post W30 and it doesn't apply) -- weight loss is not linear, it's not always predictable, and it doesn't strictly follow the calories in-calories out formula. When I used to do Weight Watchers, it drove me nuts that I'd have weeks where I was perfectly on plan, didn't go over my points, and would barely lose anything, or might even gain a bit, and then I'd have weeks that I overate and I'd lose a pound or more. There were also weeks that I was on plan and lost, and that I overate and gained, of course, but those anomalies just really confused me. It's so much easier not to watch the scale, paying attention instead to how your clothes fit, how you feel, how much energy you have, what your mood is like, if your workouts are improving, how your skin, hair, and nails look, and all those other things that may be harder to quantify but really give you a better idea of the quality of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 Non-gluten grain reintroduction. Meal 1: gluten-free oatmeal, coconut oil, 2 hard-boiled egg yolks. Post-workout (14-mile run): 2 hard-boiled egg whites, banana. Also, halfway through the run I had an energy gel which contained maltodextrin (made from corn) Meal 2: salmon, avocado, bell pepper and celery strips, tortilla chips Meal 3: grass-fed beef patty, green beans, rice No immediate reactions noted, although it's possible the tortilla chips made me a little gassy. The rice was boring, but sometimes I like to eat sushi so it would be nice to know that I tolerate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 I'm thinking that after two compliant days on Sunday and Monday, my last reintroduction will be dairy on Tuesday. I don't really have any interest in reintroducing gluten grains right now. I'll just do them if some irresistible opportunity comes up somewhere down the line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 Went shopping for my dairy reintro tomorrow - I'm pretty excited about this one! I missed yogurt and cream in my coffee. Today and yesterday were compliant days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Dairy reintroduction. Meal 1: 2 hard boiled eggs, baked sweet potato, banana, coffee with 2 tbsps organic pastured heavy cream Meal 2: chopped salad with 1/2 palm baked chicken breast, 1 oz. raw milk cheese, grapes Snack: 8oz whole-milk grass-fed yogurt Meal 3: avocado, sardines, celery and carrot sticks (no dairy) No issues with cream in coffee. The cheese was kind of a problem - gas and bloating within a couple of hours, pretty severe. Hard to say at that point if the yogurt caused any problems although it definitely didn't make it any worse. I felt pretty much better by dinner time. So I guess I may have to try yogurt again at some later date. Too bad about the cheese - it was pretty expensive. Oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 So I guess I'm all done! I plan on staying compliant most of the time but will likely include heavy cream in my coffee on a regular basis. Of all the things I reintroduced, that is the only I one I think I will be a routine part of my diet going forward. I also don't have a problem with eating non-gluten grains and legumes occasionally, especially rice and soy sauce for sushi, but will try to limit them for the majority of the time. I won't stress about added sugars or non-compliant cooking fats when I'm dining out but will continue to eliminate them when eating at home/packing my own food. I may try yogurt again sometime but it honestly it wasn't as good as I remembered it being so I'm not in any rush to do that. I'm going to continue to avoid gluten. I don't know if I have a sensitivity, since I didn't reintroduce it, but I tend to doubt that I do. Nevertheless gluten-containing foods are pretty much all associated with bingeing in my mind and really have very limited nutritive value, so I don't see any point in playing with fire. Oh, and one other major exception - I will definitely be using gels on racing days! Onward in health, Saree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 Over the past several weeks I've been struggling a lot. I've been alternating between being extremely rigid with my food, weighing it and myself obsessively, and having days where I totally go off the rails and eat all the things (and yes, I've been purging after I do that). All of the calm control I felt during and for the first few weeks after my Whole30 has totally disappeared. I've gained several pounds. This in and of itself is not a bad thing, since I had definitely gotten too low and in fact have not menstruated for several months. But it is hard for me to deal with psychologically, especially since I am fully aware that the gain has not been due to any improved nutrition or better eating habits on my part. It's just been haphazard and the result of making poor food choices. I'm currently dealing with a running injury and have had to cut my miles way way back. Since I am right in the middle of marathon training, and prior to the injury had been running better than ever in my life with two recent PRs (10K and half marathon), this is a devastating blow and I am very distraught. I have been crying a lot and feeling powerless. I can still cycle, but it is NOT the same, and I am so afraid of losing my fitness and/or falling behind my training schedule. My sleep has been terrible. So, long story short, I feel like now is a really good time to clean up my eating and at least get that back on track. I don't want to do another Whole30, since I think the severe restrictions of the program to tend to trigger my eating disorder and result in too much weight loss. And since I did formal reintroductions after the first one, I already know what is and what is not okay for me to include. Here is my plan: Stick to the template. Stop weighing my food. Stop snacking. Eliminate all gluten and added sugars. Small amounts of full-fat dairy are okay Non-gluten grains are okay (oats and rice). Limit fruit to one piece a day, and it must be a lower-fructose variety. Limit coffee to one cup per day. Increase water intake. Limit wine to two nights a week, never the night before a training day, and no more than two glasses. I am hoping that sticking to these rules will help me to stabilize my weight, stop obsessing, stop purging, improve sleep, improve my mood, and shorten my time to injury recovery. If I find I need to tweak these rules as I go, that's totally fine. And I'm not setting a time limit - I just want to do this as long as I can, taking it one day at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 preWO: coffee with cream, 1 egg WO; 4 mile run (8:20/mile), 25 mile easy ride (14mph) PostWO/M1: oats, 1 egg, coconut oil M2: salmon, sauteed spinach and onions, small banana M3: casserole made with spinach, rice, eggs, onions. 2 glasses of wine. Sparkling water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted November 23, 2015 Author Share Posted November 23, 2015 Yesterday was a bad day. Today was better. Meal 1: oats with coconut oil, coffee with cream Workout 1: 5.5 mile run at 8:25/mile Post-workout: recovery shake - coconut water, banana, whey Meal 2: avocado, sardines, red bell pepper, celery, 1 hard boiled egg Workout 2: 12 mile ride, 16mph. Very windy today. Meal 3: chicken breast, roasted broccoli, baked sweet potato. Drank lots of water all day long. Had a massage this morning. The therapist said my right leg is extremely tight from ankle to hip. I will stretch and foam roll every night this week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 So a few days after that last post my leg just quit working - would not bear weight to walk, not to mention run. A couple of days after that I was in to see my orthopedist, and a bone scan confirmed a tibial stress fracture. No running for a minimum of five weeks. Just in the past couple of days have I been able to do some very light walk/run intervals, but I am happy to say that those have all been pain free and I should be able to slowly progress over the next six weeks and then return to full training. In the meantime I've been pretty aggressively cross-training (8+ hours a week of cycling and AquaJogging) and I don't think I've lost much in terms of cardiovascular fitness. That's the good news. The bad news is that I've been very depressed, especially in the weeks immediately following the diagnosis, and I abused myself with food pretty relentlessly for the entire month of December. Eventually, although it wasn't exactly a conscious decision, I became aware of what I was doing: bargaining with the eating disorder. The deal I made was essentially that I would not make any effort towards recovery for a full month, and then would do a Whole30 in January. I know that type of thinking is dangerous and unproductive. But that's what I did. December was more or less a blur of bingeing and purging - every day, at least once, on any type of food at all but mostly holiday treats, which were endlessly available at work. Every day I would walk in to the nurses' station and there would be donuts, Christmas cookies, bagels, tins of popcorn - gifts from patients, families, and physicians. By the end of the month I was actually dreading it - how much would I force myself to eat today? How many times would I have to make myself vomit? It had lost any semblance of pleasure. It was pure self-punishment. Anyway. I ended last year on a low note. I want to start this year on high one. I haven't had any legumes, grains, sugar, or alcohol since January 1. I also haven't purged since that date either - hooray for me! I finished up the last of the yogurt and cream I had in the fridge the first couple of days of the year, and then had my first fully compliant day on January 3. So today is day 5. I'm already feeling much better, mentally - thinking more clearly, more energetic, happier, sleeping better. Physically I haven't noticed much difference yet, other than the fact that it feels SO GOOD to do some running, even it is just a few minutes at a time. Weight (fat) loss is not a goal - even with December's debaucheries, I didn't really gain any weight and on day 0 was still below where I was when I started my first Whole30 back in August - although I do feel like I have a couple of pounds of bloat/inflammation that I would be more comfortable without. I don't think I'm going to log my daily food and exercise this time around. Just focus more on how I feel in my body and where I'm at in my head in terms of my relationship with food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmcbn Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 I don't think I'm going to log my daily food and exercise this time around. Just focus more on how I feel in my body and where I'm at in my head in terms of my relationship with food. Welcome back Saree Right now I think this is a really good place to start. Well done on being on the winning end of that bargain - it got you here & already you're making progress. Happy healing x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted January 8, 2016 Author Share Posted January 8, 2016 Last night after dinner I struggled with wanting to snack. After dinner is (was!) often a time of mindless consumption for me - chips, popcorn, wine. I had cooked and enjoyed a delicious, compliant dinner, and wasn't actually hungry, but my boyfriend was eating some chips and salsa in front of the television and it was making me want to eat something too. I ended up having an apple, which isn't exactly a disaster, but I know not the best choice. Especially since too much fructose upsets my stomach and tends to lead to diarrhea the next day. I would have been fine not eating anything. I have to think about what it is that makes me feel like eating at night when I'm not hungry. I wasn't bored, or stressed - my two biggest triggers. Sometimes I think all my bad behavior with food is just nothing but habit. There's no deep meaning there, nothing that just has to be deciphered, no big breakthrough I have to make. Just simple bad habit. Which would be good news, I guess, because I know I can break habits and build new ones. I've done that plenty of times before. Quit smoking in my twenties. Stopped chewing gum (harder than quitting tobacco!). Went from being a couch potato to a locally competitive athlete. Started flossing my teeth daily! Those were both conscious decisions and they stuck. So even if mindless (over)eating/bingeing and purging is a much more deeply ingrained habit than those, it stands to reason I should be able to tackle it the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenHZ Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 a substitute habit might help for the nibbles at night. maybe something to keep your fingers busy ( I mend when I watch tv I'm not involved in but just watching socially) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted January 9, 2016 Author Share Posted January 9, 2016 I had a bone density scan yesterday, and the results came back positive for osteopenia. I am pretty bummed out but I guess not too surprised. I already take calcium and vitamin D supplements, but I really really don't want to take a biphosphonate. I took Actonel for a couple of years in my early twenties and it was terrible. I see my ortho next week, so I'll wait and see what he says before I get too worked up about it. Now I'm at work. Very slow day on the unit. This is a typical time - late afternoon, getting hungry, caught up on my charting - that I start feeling like snacking. Trying to practice distraction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted January 11, 2016 Author Share Posted January 11, 2016 Over a week in now. My stomach already seems less distended. I'm sleeping very well. I'm not really craving sugar or off-plan foods but I am still struggling with the desire to eat, just to have some taste of something in my mouth. This feeling is strongest on work days, especially in the afternoon. My job can be extremely stressful but can also sometimes be very slow - when you only have one patient for twelve or thirteen hours, there's bound to be some downtime even if they are critically ill. But I'd almost rather be crazily busy with a crashing patient then have a quiet day with a stable one - at least that way I don't have any time to think about food. My days off so far have been much easier. They have a pleasant, predictable rhythm - wake up, have a nice breakfast, cycle and run for an hour or two, run errands and do any household chores, eat lunch, nap or read for an hour, swim or strength training in the afternoon, feed and walk the dog, cook and eat dinner, watch a little television and cuddle with my boyfriend - and in bed by nine. Never (or rarely, anyway) plagued by intrusive thoughts or compulsions. I need to work on coming up with some things I can do at work when I don't really have any tasks at hand. Distraction and staying busy seem to be my most reliable coping mechanisms. I'm not a person with a large social circle, and the close friends I do have don't really know much about my struggles with food. I try to open up to my boyfriend about it, but even he has trouble taking me seriously. Because I'm thin and athletic he can't seem to grasp the idea of the sheer amount of food I am capable of eating during a binge - when I tell him I'm struggling with urges, his response is always pretty much, you need to gain weight anyway, go ahead and eat whatever you feel like - really not helpful at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saree_maree Posted January 11, 2016 Author Share Posted January 11, 2016 Really good day today. Accomplished everything I set out to do, stayed busy all day, zero urges or compulsions. The weather was absolutely beautiful, and I was able to be outside getting my sweat on for over 2 hours. My body felt strong and I had consistent energy with no mid-workout fuel needed. I didn't feel like I needed a nap this afternoon either. Breakfast and lunch tasted good and satisfied me for 4+ hours. I have a really nice dinner cooking now - pork chops, sauteed spinach, and roasted root vegetables. I'm making extra of everything so I have meals for the next couple of days when I'm working. I've been trying some new vegetables. Last week I had celery root for the first time - delicious! Today I am going to try rutabaga. I've also been buying different kinds of winter squash. My favorite so far is calabaza - they are HUGE, like eight pounds, but dirt cheap. I bake one in the oven until it is super tender and it lasts me forever. I like to eat it especially at breakfast with some coconut oil and fried eggs on top. When I was severely anorexic, I was terrified of leftovers. I don't know why - some fear of them going bad because I wasn't going to eat them. This fear continued when my eating disorder evolved to include bingeing and purging - then I was afraid that I WOULD eat them! I've always had a huge hangup about wasting food (which I realize is totally irrational given the fact that I have spent years of my life literally flushing it down the toilet). Anyway, I am just now truly coming around to the beauty of having plenty of prepared food at hand. Cook once, eat two or three times! So much easier. 11 days now B/P free. Very proud of myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThyPeace Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 Wandering in and new to this forum, but wanted to say that I really appreciate you writing about your experiences. It helps me understand some things that a family member does. And I am so glad you can now find peaceful thoughts! Even if your boyfriend doesn't understand how important that is, those of us who've lived in chaos do! ThyPeace, choosing peace over chaos is part of my life's work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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