Not a failure -Not emotionally in a good place- Whole 30 is a big deal

[JodiLou]

I do not want to say that I am a failure. I am not a failure. But I would like to say that of all the prep work I did over a month and a half before starting Whole30 I really had no concept of the emotional impact Whole30 would have on me. Of course reading the timeline and the day-by-day in the journal after I started I understood that it was normal. But I really think that if I had known that it was going to be that emotionally challenging on me I would have picked the time to start it when I was not in such a difficult emotional place in my life. I am not trying to make excuses. But currently my husband has been unemployed for almost 4 months, which has caused a financial strain on my family and a personal strain on my marriage as we work through this. There are currently questions in my career as we are now under new leadership and there is talk of attrition and layoffs. In addition to this I have my oldest graduating from college this spring along with my youngest graduating from high school. Both are very emotional for me.

As I stated I actually did a lot of prep work before choosing a date for my Whole30. Incidentally the first week of my Whole30 actually fell on my birthday. But that was fine because I was committed. We had no travel plans in next 30 days and it was before both graduations and after my children's birthdays and a long weekend trip out of town. So I really thought that I had picked a good time to start. On day 6 is when I really realized that committing to Whole30 at the present time was probably not the best idea for me. I definitely read about the KATT days earlier in the week. And thought that I would be able to push through. The night of day 4 was my first real trial. It was my last day of work for the week. And of course just like most people at the end of their work week ; one wants to come home and enjoy a couple glasses of wine and probably eat some food that is not good for them. That was very difficult but I pushed through it and ate a good Whole30 approved meal that night. But several things came up in the home that night financially and I ended up picking a fight with my husband and going to bed crying. Over everything. Of course we all have really bad days and I just attributed it to being tired and having a bad day in addition to where I was in The Whole30. The following morning day 5 was my birthday. I woke up and looked outside to find 6 inches of fresh snow. It has been a very long winter here in Montana and I immediately started to cry like a baby all over again. And that is how my morning went. The day got better my husband and I visited a nearby local town that day and had an enjoyable day and I was extremely proud of myself. That night we went out with some friends to a bar with a band and danced and had a great time for hours and I drank ice water with lemon all night without a single wish for an adult like beverage. Saturday came along and I did my shopping and planning for the week. I came home from shopping and my husband and I once again got into it over the financial situation of our family and the commitments that we had made financially prior to him being unemployed. I ended up of course crying for another couple of hours. It was at this point that I decided that committing to the Whole 30 at this difficult time in my life was probably not the best idea. Of course we all say can't do it at this time blah blah blah can't do it at that time blah blah blah and I understand that and I understand that there will always be some kind of an excuse. I really thought that I had done good planning as far as when to do it. But what I didn't realize was how emotionally challenging Whole30 would be for me. Not just the giving up of the foods and drinks that I love but how getting rid of those Foods really takes an emotional toll on your physical body as it adjusts to the changes. I am not in a good place right now in my personal life. And we all go through difficult times in our life and I understand that but I need to be able to get through the day by day without the added difficulties of the changes that Whole30 was giving me. I have always been a highly emotional person but crying a couple hours a day is not an appropriate way to behave. 

I am no longer doing the full Whole30. The night of day 6 I had a non-compliant meal and a glass of wine. During that 2-hour bout of crying before I went back and forth and finally made a decision. And despite the fact that my husband told me I would feel awful after I did it and wake up feeling worse the next day, he was wrong and I have not looked back. Because right now I have to do what's best for me and not disrupt my family anymore than it is currently disrupted. I told my husband I am  "mostly" Whole 30. I would continue the plan as much as I could because I believe in it. And I have. All meals since have been Whole 30 compliant with only a little bit of A-1 on my roast last night. I'm continuing to eat breakfast despite the fact that I hate it and am forcing it down because I DO feel better when I do. I had a couple glasses of beer at the senior party planning meeting yesterday with friends. But I am drinking water and herbal tea in the evening rather than a glass or two of wine because I have definitely noticed that I sleep better. I am continuing to drink my coffee black or with a little bit of coconut milk in it. Essentially I am doing Whole30 but if I want something or have something going on I'm going to do it and feel no guilt about it. And continue eating primarily Whole30 as much as possible. If you knew how badly I ate before you would understand that this is actually still a ginormous achievement for me. And I will commit to the Whole 30 for a full 30 days when I am in a better emotional place in my personal life. I'm hoping that by doing 90% Whole30 right now that will really help me when I'm in a better place to make the commitment for the Whole 30 for 30 days.

The Whole30 is no joke. And while I thought not being able to eat was going to be the most difficult part. Turns out I was entirely wrong. I ate plenty and have actually enjoyed the food. It was the emotional changes that put me over the edge. 

[ShannonM816]

You are definitely not a failure. You've learned from your experience, you're making healthy changes that will improve your health, and Whole30 will be here for you in the future when the timing is better.

Hang in there, hopefully life will be less stressful soon, and in the meantime, keep doing the best you can.

[Helen_melon]

I am on day 12 of my first round and I completely understand what you mean about emotional toll. While I am not undergoing the same stress that you are, I have always struggled with "feeling crabby" when I didn't eat enough and ever since I was a kid I have packed a granola bar just in case I crashed. Yesterday I felt worse than I've felt in a long time. On the verge of tears, completely hopeless, and craving "healthy" non compliant foods like beans and brown rice so I could even out my blood sugar like I used to. I haven't really been craving unhealthy food at all and the program talks about the emotional attachment to unhealthy food, but I didn't realize that I would have to deal with basically a sugar crash for several days. It feels awful and I hope that it gets better soon, and I hope that soon you have less to deal with and have the ability to try the diet again. But I just wanted to say that at least in part, I understand!

[nerdular]

On 7/7/2018 at 11:28 AM, Helen_melon said:

I am on day 12 of my first round and I completely understand what you mean about emotional toll. While I am not undergoing the same stress that you are, I have always struggled with "feeling crabby" when I didn't eat enough and ever since I was a kid I have packed a granola bar just in case I crashed. Yesterday I felt worse than I've felt in a long time. On the verge of tears, completely hopeless, and craving "healthy" non compliant foods like beans and brown rice so I could even out my blood sugar like I used to. I haven't really been craving unhealthy food at all and the program talks about the emotional attachment to unhealthy food, but I didn't realize that I would have to deal with basically a sugar crash for several days. It feels awful and I hope that it gets better soon, and I hope that soon you have less to deal with and have the ability to try the diet again. But I just wanted to say that at least in part, I understand!

I miss beans and lentils more than I miss sugar at this point! I thought they were so healthy (and am not entirely convinced that they're not! I will likely reintro those first) and my kids will actually eat them. It's hard leaving them out...

[ladyshanny]

On 7/7/2018 at 8:28 AM, Helen_melon said:

I am on day 12 of my first round and I completely understand what you mean about emotional toll. While I am not undergoing the same stress that you are, I have always struggled with "feeling crabby" when I didn't eat enough and ever since I was a kid I have packed a granola bar just in case I crashed. Yesterday I felt worse than I've felt in a long time. On the verge of tears, completely hopeless, and craving "healthy" non compliant foods like beans and brown rice so I could even out my blood sugar like I used to. I haven't really been craving unhealthy food at all and the program talks about the emotional attachment to unhealthy food, but I didn't realize that I would have to deal with basically a sugar crash for several days. It feels awful and I hope that it gets better soon, and I hope that soon you have less to deal with and have the ability to try the diet again. But I just wanted to say that at least in part, I understand!

HI @Helen_melon - sorry that I didn't see this before now. Are you feeling better? You shouldn't be feeling this awful that far into your Whole30, I surmise that you are likely not eating enough or could use some tweaking on meal composition. If you like, please post a few days of typical consumption and we can review and take a look. Include details on exercise, meal timing etc.

[peak]

JodiLou... Don't beat yourself too bad... your writings are evident that you "get it."  Because you have dabbled in the eating concept you at least have an idea of what it is like.  Life can throw the best of us curve balls... the key is to keep striving until you get that sweet one right down the middle of the plate ...(note to self, 'prolly not the best baseball allusion when it relates to sweets and plates)

Emotions will get so much better when you get on the routing of a healthier eating lifestyle. 

Last night I came home from work and when I entered the house there was a funky smell.  More humid acridity than I am used to in my dry climate.  I searched it out and found that I had a pretty major water.  After shutting down the whole-house water, diagnosing the problem and shop vacuuming for several hours the soak that permeated the carpet I finally went to bed... without even the luxury of a cold shower... talk about a clammy feeling...Uhg!  When I was finally able to relax and start to nod, I self reflected as to how I handled my immediate situation:   years ago I would have most likely reacted in a different way.  It would have involved swearing in such a way that would have made a sailor blush.  It might have included rash choices that would have needed more repair work than necessary on the next day. 

I looked back last night as to how I methodically took care of the immediate circumstances and how I put those in action.  I left a message for my office letting them know I would be late and took care of the plumbing repairs this morning.  Interesting as to how I slept no differently than as if nothing happened!  Moreover, I woke up this morning and still followed my morning routine of PT stretching and grinding the beans for coffee, all the same except for the ritual shower.  In the past I would have been so worried about how to get repairs finished as soon as possible and would have slept poorly.  There is a time for repairs and a time for me.  Sometime the "me" part still needs to come first in order to get other requirements done in good order.

Emotions (good or bad) are so much better for me since I am more at peace with how I treat my body and subsequently how my body is treating me.  

Keep focused on how the next emotional challenge that is thrown at you and how it will seem so much less significant when your person is in better shape because there might be many more situations that what you describe still down the road.  Commit to being your at your best so that when others come along they will be nothing more than an annoyance in terms of how you handle it.   Keep your chine up.  You get the concept and you can do it!

-frank.