Craving red wine, alcoholic family, should I give it up


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Hi there,

I'm on day 25 of my first-ever Whole30. Hooray! I feel great. I don't crave my (sweet) treats like I thought I would, don't crave the gluten-free hot cereal, except for the fact it's easy, and am proud of myself for upping the vegetable consumption. The *only* thing that concerns me is that I have thought about my celebratory glass of red wine all month. Every day. I want that glass. 

I'm an athlete and am a very light drinker. Over the past few years, one drink a week, maybe. Sometimes every few weeks. Sometimes if there's more social events happening, more than one in a week. I can limit myself to one, but it takes mental effort. Because........... I come from a family of alcoholics. Both sides of my family, including my father. And, in my 20s, I flirted with it. I started drinking heavily to self-medicate. Fortunately, I got my s**t together. I'm 47 now. That's why, I think, I have to really use my willpower to stop at one.

What concerns me now is that I'm thinking about this darned glass of wine so much. I worry this is the genetic predisposition rearing its head, and wondering if it's a sign I should just give up alcohol completely.  Another thing. In the months before I started W30, I was drinking a little more than usual. Like one a few times a week instead of one whenever. Almost always due to work stress, not because of a wedding or birthday party.

I love W30 for helping to bring this and other food issues to light. And for many other reasons that I won't babble on about right now.

If anyone has experienced something similar with alcohol, I would love some perspective. 

Thank you,

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Hey there, good on you for being self-aware and for looking in the "dark corners" so to speak. No one here can really give you the sort of advise you're looking for but there was a very good thread a while back that discussed this very thing:

 

You might find some interesting thoughts here. 

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Hi @HeatherSoleil

I have a very similar family history to you, and have had similar realisations about my own drinking habits many times. I perhaps drank a little more than you, depending on the stage of my journey.

I now have in place for myself quite firm rules around drinking, namely, no drinking alone at home, and no more than 2 drinks at a time. And when I find that I am making excuses to go out specifically so I can have a drink, I'm thinking about it a lot, or I've had drinks multiple nights in a week, I pick a length of time to go dry (maybe a week, maybe longer).

I also try really hard to examine my reasons for having a drink eg. Because it is nice to have a beer on a Sunday afternoon with friends is fine. Because I've had a rubbish day and I want to make it better is not.

You've just got to figure out what kind of boundaries work for you, and that might be a complete absence of alcohol.

By the way, I was going to start a little dry spell on Monday (as I have had quite a few drinks this week), but writing this made me realise that I need to start today, not Monday - another 3 days of drinking isn't going to help me at all! (I literally have 4 social things in the next 3 days that would/could have involved alcohol!)

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Hi @GoJo09,

Thank you for sharing this. It makes sense to set clear boundaries and stay hyper-aware, as you mentioned. I still haven't decided how I want to handle alcohol going forward. But I do know I also need think about the reasons why I want a drink when I want a drink. If it's because of a stressful day at work, or because I'm sad, etc., it's best to abstain. 

 

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