Does it make sense that my husband and I eat exactly the same amount?

[Guest Wheat on Trial]

On day 25 and following the meal template, but it occurred to me that I'm not sure I get how it works - doesn't it matter that people come in all shapes and sizes? My husband weighs about 70 lbs more than I do - yet our breakfasts, lunches, and dinners are practically the same (1-2 palm sizes of protein, fill the rest of the plate with veggies, etc...)

 

So I'm assuming I'm eating too much or he's not eating enough?

[missmary]

how big is your palm? How big is your husband's palm? I am guessing they are not the same. The meal template is tuned to the size of each individual. Within that framework, it also allows for some variation (1-2 palms of protein, 1-2 thumbs of fat), which accounts for differences in metabolism and activity levels.

[GFChris]

Are your palms the same size? The template is designed to take body proportions into account, using the length, width and thickness of your palm.

 

Are you both pleasantly satiated? That's another way to gauge your portions.

[Guest Wheat on Trial]

Yeah, I understand. But when I tried to give him 4 eggs instead of 3, he was having trouble eating them all. I can try to give him some more of my protein for our meals going forward to balance out a bit, but according to him he's full and I often feel like I could eat more! (Even steamed fish and broccoli!)

[GFChris]

If he's full, then let him be. If you want more, eat more. Again, it's about tuning into your personal satiety signals.

[Noelle]

My partner has at least 65 lbs. on me, and I eat more than he does at almost every meal.

[Guest Wheat on Trial]

Thanks for the reassurance. I wonder if it's because I've been more active then him over the years? He hits the gym but not as intensely as I do.

[Noelle]

I wouldn't worry too much about why and just focus on being satisfied. There are so many messages out there for women about how and what and how much we're supposed to eat (or not eat)--and those messages have more to do with misogyny and selling products than they do with women's health.

[Ruby]

My husband has 100 pounds and 7 inches on me. If I hit the gym hard I easily eat as much as he does.

[Talie1706]

my partner is a foot taller than me and has maybe 40lb more than me.  I eat as much as he does, he does sometimes have seconds depending on how active he's been during the day.  I am hungrier on super active days.  But i do know when I am full these days and so will leave food on my plate .... not that it gets wasted as partner doesnt have a full button lol.  basically if your weight is maintained by eating the same as partner then you are doing it right. 

[mharting]

I feel the same way! I am 5' 0" tall, 115 pounds, and my husband is 5"7 145 pounds and I am sometimes still hungry when he says he's full. We both do heavy weightlifting and distance running with some HITT thrown in once or twice a week. It doesn't make sense that I could eat more than him, but sometimes I do. But he also thinks about food much less than I do and he can even forget to eat lunch or wait 6-7 hours between meals... while I'm good with about 4 hours between meals, 5 at most. Unfair! We all need what we need though! 

[MrsStick]

I have to say that it's weird right now for me to eat as much as or more than my hubby, but I am. We're both not very active at the moment (we're in the middle of an intercontinental move and our furniture is gone as of today) so it's hard to do anything at the moment. Lots of paperwork and running from office to office to get the right kind of stuff done. He does run usually 4-5 times a week, though, and at most right now I can just walk due to my shoulder issues since summer of 2012.

 

As of now, our lunch/dinner plates are usually filled the same amount with the same stuff and I still feel hungry within an hour or two but he doesn't. His metabolism is very much based on how much he's active, so if he doesn't work out, he doesn't eat much. That's what he says, at least, but sometimes I wonder if he's just saying that so I stop trying to feed him because he feels like he shouldn't eat if he hasn't worked out? Not sure.

 

Breakfast is where we've been different lately. I'm starving by the time I wake up and he's just "meh" about it. So I'll have whatever I'm having and he'll have a Larabar or a bowl of cereal three hours later (at which point I would have resorted to self-cannibalism). I'm not gaining any significant weight like I'd typically expect if I were eating way too much - I'm about 10 lbs heavier than my pre-shoulder surgery weight when I was eating super clean, but I'm eating weird combinations of not W30 foods to clean out the cabinets before we leave instead of eating template meals. I know as soon as I go template for two weeks it'll come off easily (or if I am able to start working out soon).

 

All that to say - my husband is 30-40 lbs heavier, 4" taller, and I eat as much or more than him at almost every meal if it's noncompliant. If it's a compliant meal, I feel full much more easily and he packs it all in. Go figure.

[GLC1968]

I eat as much or more than my husband all the time, too.  He is 6" taller and outweighs me by 50 lbs or so.  I do workout more than he does, but not by much.

 

The thing is, my body is really, really good at maintaining the status quo.  I can eat Whole30 by the meal template for 45 days, use my hunger signals and do it all 100% and not lose a pound even though I was 30 lbs overweight.  It was very frustrating. I've since lost 30 lbs and guess what?  If I stick to the meal template and hunger signals - I still maintain.  The funny part is that I am eating the same amount as I was 30 lbs heavier! (my palm didn't get smaller with the weight loss!)  Traditional weight loss theory would say that is impossible but I swear that it is not.  Honestly, the female body is REALLY good at maintaining (and it often sucks at losing).

 

My husband on the other hand, can just think 'hmmm, I should lose a few' and his hunger seems to regulate to that goal.  It's so unfair!