My 10 yr old.


Tanya K

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My 10 year old is now on day 3 with me. She is doing so very well. Today however she was very very tired and having serious issues with her sugar dragon!! I just wish her dad was on board with all of this!! He even offered her some club orange the other day coming home in the car saying that sure it was only oranges! (It's a very fizzy highly sugared drink here). This was after her refusing! It's so unfair on her! And I wouldn't mind but only 2 hours before let him know what foods she was eating etc.

Tonight then she saw him again and he tells her not to be believing everything that was on the internet!! Like she's allowed on the net??!! Anyway, himself and his mother tonight tried to tell her that peanuts were very good for her! This is going to be a long 30 days!! The poor girl today was even shaking at one point from no sugar! She's being so so strong and I just think how unfair it is that her own father cannot encourage her for doing something good!!

How does anyone else work this if their kids are staying with the fathers if spilt up?? I am lucky in the fact though that my partner has also started the whole 30, so at least she knows it's not just a Mammy thing!! :-)

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I have a 4 year old daughter and am divorced.  I'm lucky though (and realizing it even more reading your post) my daughters father is as committed to healthy "family" eating and I've even been making meals for him as well - I know, weirdest divorced couple ever...

 

I would just make sure to continue encouraging her and providing her the right options when she's with you.  Maybe send her with some snacks so she isn't as tempted if her Dad is being a food pusher?  I know snacking isn't necessarily encouraged but for a 10 year old that's struggling with a food pusher family (half of it) maybe it would be worth while. 

 

Sorry you and your daughter have this blockage!

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Thank you bede. :-) Well, today she visited her grandmother and her aunt (who is 43 by the way rolls eyes!) and the poor thing got it again! This is her dad's family by the way. They didn't get the no peanuts, the no oats, the no 'good for you brown bread'! Apparently they went on and on at her until her grandad told them to leave her alone! So, she opted to food shop instead of staying with listening to them. She was quite upset, not crying but angry and didn't understand why they should be giving out etc. Again my heart went out to her. So this evening I spoke again with her dad. I explained in detail what way I was feeding her and more importantly that she needed support not questions and food pushing! I asked him to not voice his concerns or doubts or anger on front of her and to discuss all of these things with me.

Anyway, she seems much happier in herself that he is now on board, thank goodness!

I hate this attitude of she's gone mad and ripping the soul of the child for being heathy!! In actual fact I feel she's more determined than anything to succeed :-) Even If she had the option now to opt out she wouldn't! She wants to reach her goal, her commitment is 30 days to herself and I will do everything in my power to ensure that she is encouraged supported and loved to reach her goal! She's so very proud of herself at the moment and so she should be. It's a hard age to ward off temptations and not sneak foods etc.

Good idea with respect to bringing some foods with her to her dads! I had been so strict with the snacking too, I really want to retrain her brain to think otherwise about how she eats. But perhaps I can still maintain this retraining now that he has said he will support her. We will see.

This will be good for her both physically and mentally. She has even asked me are we going to continue to eat like this even after the 30 days? So that is a very good sign!

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Wow, that is a dedicated 10yo!

 

It seems you may now have her father on board, but perhaps make it clear to him that she has chosen to eat this way, it is not something that you are forcing on her - if she had chosen to become vegetarians (as many kids do at that age when they realise that the cute cow with big eyes = the steak on their plate), he wouldn't be trying to force her to eat meat, would he?

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I am just wondering if maybe you are putting her in a very difficult position versus her other relatives by even asking her to do this type of very strict program? In my mind it is not fair that a child should have to defend her food so strongly, and be put in the middle of what seems like a power struggle between you and her dad. What are your thoughts on that?

 

Is there a very strong medical reason that makes you think it is necessary to do a full Whole30 at 10 years of age?

In my mind a 10 y.o should not think too much about food. For children, and especially girls at such a vunerable age, I don't believe in "good" or "bad" foods - I believe in thinking and talking in terms of food we choose to eat often and food we choose to eat rarely. Ex. my kids know that they only eat candy on Saturdays and after eating dinner. The rest of the week we just eat real food. We don't talk too much about it, it is just the way we eat. We try to not polarize it. 

 

I am sure you come from good intentions, but it seems from both of your posts that your girl is struggling. Is there any reason she needs to to a full Whole30, or would she just be better off to eat Whole30-style at your house, and then just eat a well as possible when she is with her dad, but without having to pick apart the cooking oils and constatly defend herself (or, really, her mother). I just get a feeling there is more than her diet at stake here?

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I agree with the above poster in this thread. You have to be very careful with restrictive diets (I know, Whole30 isn't technically restrictive from the health standpoint, but she's being told that's what it is by people she loves and let's be real, look how the rest of society eats) because that can lead to disordered eating. That's a very tricky and potentially dangerous road to walk. Statistically, young girls who diet are much more likely to end up with a serious eating disorder than those who don't. Take it from someone who had a long battle with an eating disorder, that's not somewhere you want her to wind up.  

 

That being said, I think she should only be doing this if she herself chose to do it, and should only continue doing it by her own choice. I worry that you shouldn't be intervening with what her father/grandmother does here. If she is convinced this is right for her, she will be able to stand up for herself and make her own choices. Some battles kids really do have to fight for themselves, and this is one of those. I believe the only thing you should be paying attention to here is her motivation for doing the Whole30. Make sure that this is purely because she believes it is healthy, not because she is trying to look a certain way or anything else that might indicate disordered body image or eating. 

 

It is one thing for the parents to collectively come together and put the family on a Whole30, and a very different thing to have such a conflicting thing between parents going on involving the diet of a child, especially at this very impressionable, often sensitive age. You're great for encouraging healthy eating, and even inviting her along for a Whole30, but when it comes to her Whole30, she really needs to be in charge of it.

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The whole 30 is a reset button, not just for us adults but perfect for kids in my view as their younger bodies and younger brains can adapt much more easily. To be honest she has adapted to this whole 30 absolutely amazingly, including the issues initially with her dad. In my view again it has taught her to stand up for herself and not Jennor, as you put it, for me!! Yes of course she was and will continue to be heavily influenced by the way I live my life. But, I of course gave her the choice, she is 10! I asked her did she want to eat what they wanted to feed her when they were with her. She replied, with a hearty no way! She said she was so very proud of what she was doing and she wants to prove to herself that she can make a commitment to both her body and mind for 30 days. I believe it is not a 'tricky or potentially dangerous road to walk' CaseyD, in fact I believe we all live in fear too much in our lives. When it comes to our children we mollycoddle them to the point now were they don't ever experience any hardship, any reality or any negativity and how to deal with all these things. By default, the whole 30 has given her the tools to firstly be proud of what she is doing, the confidence to stand up for her 'right' to choose what she wants to eat with two very influential people in her life, the power to say no and mean it, the power to resist temptation, the power then to be different, to go against the grain so to speak and most importantly to absolutely 100% realisation in her own self as to how she is feeling now with this healthy eating!!

My child is still a child and will hopefully remain so for a good few more years! But what she has now is a powerful tool that not many 10 year olds have!! My child will of course have her treats, but they will be just that, treats! Our society is so hung up on food that it has turned into a killer! My child now will have the gift of been given a treat and to really relish that treat! To savour it and become absolutely consciously aware of what she is eating.

The other point there about the whole family being put on a whole 30 is ok as there is no conflict between the parents etc, well that is a ludicrous point!! So, that means that any single parent out there who has issues with the ex etc cannot ever do a whole 30 with their child?? How ridiculous is that?? The world is in conflict, everywhere we turn there is conflict. How is a child supposed to learn how to deal and cope with conflict if not through family or friends?? Her dad listened to what Molly had to say, she spoke her point with great dignity and was not being a baby either about it!! She dealt with the conflict in a loving manner.

Another point made that I should not intervene with the father or the grandmother?? I will always intervene when it comes to the health and welfare of my daughter. Always. That's what I do, I am her mother.

This also has never been a diet!! She is as fit as a fiddle, slim build and athletic. I never have believed in 'diets'. She knows this. So, there were never ever at any stage any issues with 'self image'. I am not that vain to have influenced such thoughts into her lovely 10'year old brain. What I have done is influenced the way and manner in which she chooses to eat. I don't think it is a negative that she now decides herself to read labels of products I think that is amazing to be honest. I'm proud she rang to ask was sunflower ok?? I'm glad she is so aware. I am very proud too that she is aware! I shall not be hemmed into this unhealthy attitude that we should treat our children the way most of society does! It's a gift not a penance.

It is only 30 days!! Not a lifetime. It is a reset button. Not just for us adults!

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Tanya,   you've poured your heart out since Day 1.   You're a good mother and you love your child.

 

I get you.   I'll pull something up that  Tom wrote about feeding our children sugar.   He was as serious as all get out and I agree with him.

 

If Jamie Oliver was speaking with you, he'd encourage to help your daughter make better choices.  He is the crusader of school children.

 

The only way this is extreme would be if others know from experience.  You can make this extreme by using it as a  dieting tool.    Being true to a Whole 30 is not extreme.  If her plate is loaded to the gills with vegetables, good fats, proteins and fruit...say what?

 

There are little kids going to bed hungry every night in this nation.  They live in the big city and their grocery store amounts to  the neighborhood gas station.   Many don't even have any supper on their tables at night.   We have a "Breakfast Club" for kids who don't have any breakfast at home...ever.   We have backpacks that we stuff for the weekend because these kids don't ever get a decent meal at home.  Oh, there's lots more but kids are starving under our own noses.

 

We all know picky little eaters who love potato chips and soda pop.  Then give me some cookies, mama...I'll wash it down with a sugary juicy juice, too.   Let's head on over to  Mickey D's for a "Happy" bunch of happy hooey....  Kids eat this way for years.   Some have grown up on chicken nuggets.  It's the only thing they like.   They live on nuggets and no one blinks an eye.   It's accepted and  those places know how to make lifetime customers out of us.   They have it down to an art.

 

We've been sold down the river.

 

 

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Posted 22 June 2014 - 07:50 PM

Whole9 Moderator/First Whole30 May 2010

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Notetojenn, on 22 Jun 2014 - 5:25 PM, said:snapback.png

Did you seriously just call me murderous for making my kids cookies?  How is this different than an adult grabbing a larabar when a full meal isn't available?

 

If it were up to me, larabars would be banned during the Whole30. Despite our saying repeatedly that they are only okay as "emergency" food when stuck in a long meeting or in traffic, people keep eating them as a matter of convenience and preference as the paleo candy bars that they are. So you will never see me signing off on larabars. I think if you need emergency food in your purse or car, you should carry a ziploc bag of nuts.

 

I said murderous for shock value. I am sure you love your children and actively work to make their lives as good as you can. However, I think our whole culture walks around with corrupt ideas of what is appropriate for children (and adults) to be eating. And I don't apologize for saying that feeding children cookies frequently is murderous. The problem is not an occasional cookie. Children can eat dirt or a bug every once in a while and be fine. The issue is whatchildren eat day after day. Children need protein, healthy fats, veggies, and fruit presented as real food on a plate.

 

Food related television commercials in America are sophisticated brain washing messages designed to make crap food products seem like healthy choices or at least acceptable and socially appropriate choices. We all grew up immersed in these messages and now progressive moms like you accepts eating "healthy" cookies on a regular basis as appropriate, normal, and maybe even essential. I have become a crazy man carrying a sign warning that snacks are dangerous and feeding your children cookies is homicidal. Yikes! But I maintain the warning. Our culture has gone crazy with snacks and it is harming the health of everyone who partakes. It is time to learn to eat more like our great great grand parents. 

Do you know the forum rules? Review them at http://forum.whole9l.../6-forum-rules/

 

I think the value of doing a Whole30 is to begin seeing meat, fish, eggs, veggies, and fruit as the good stuff and to start thinking of everything else as an unavoidable evil that you have to deal with occasionally. 

 

Browse 400 Whole30-compliant recipes at 

Tom Denham's http://www.wholelifeeating.com

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http://media2.s-nbcnews.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Video/__NEW/nn_mad_kids_eat_140831.nbcnews-video-reststate-640.jpg

 

 

 

Every day, the 20-year veteran teacher spends a chunk of his own salary to feed hungry kids in his classroom. For the kid who came to school on an empty stomach, Callahan either sends the child to the cafeteria or simply walks over to the supply closet behind his desk for some food. Many teachers use $40 a month of their own cash to buy supplemental food for these hungry children.

It's a practice that isn't uncommon in the nation's schools. In fact, 73 percent of teachers have hungry students in their classes, according to a report issued in 2013 by the advocacy group No Kid Hungry.

For two years, New Mexico has ranked No. 1 state in childhood hunger, with 1 in 3 children growing up without a steady supply of food. More than 60 percent of the students qualify for the federal free or reduced-priced lunch program at Callahan's school.

Callahan said the school lunch is the last meal of the day for many students.

 

"I could not get the image out of my mind — these little kids going home to empty pantries, empty refrigerators, empty stomachs," Callahan said. "It explained why some kids were having such a hard time concentrating in class and making progress. Could you on a diet of dry ramen noodles?"

So, he began stocking his classroom with snacks on a regular basis.

"At least, if I couldn't do anything else, I could at least have food available at school, and my kids could have something to eat," he said.

Then, he began to think about what his kids were facing after Friday's dismissal bell.

"Kids were coming up to me and saying, 'I don't want to go home for the weekend.’ Not that they didn't want to be at home with their families, but that there wasn't enough food to eat."

So Callahan and the school counselor, Karin Medina, started a backpack program for the Comanche students who need the most help on the weekend. Every Friday, kids from 25 families get meals and two snacks to take home, enough to fight their hunger pangs until Monday arrives.

Callahan knows he doesn't have enough food to feed every hungry child in his school.

 

"We are doing what we can. I wish we could help more. But I'm a teacher. I don't make a lot of money," he said.

The Comanche backpack program is not an official nonprofit, nor does it have any outside funding. The program doesn't even have a name. Even without a name, it serves as an example of community generosity, which has others aiding it. A local business brings by boxes of food weekly, and a Boy Scout troop has donated money twice this year.

The Comanche faculty, Principal Rena Highland and the support staff are primarily the people funding the program and using their own modest means to send some security home with the food insecure kids in their care need. This is not always easy, Callahan says.

"I know where the hearts are of the people who come to work at Comanche Elementary School. And their hearts are for the children," Callahan said. "Some of these folks are young and raising families themselves. They've taken something from their own families so they could provide for these kids."

For Callahan, the sacrifice is worth it.

"The kids in my care walk into my room knowing that I care," he said. "And they walk out knowing that I care."

 

First published August 31st 2014, 3:37 pm

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The same happens here! My best friend is a teacher. She also gives food to some kids!! In school now Molly is never hungry. She was before even though she had what was considered a 'healthy' breakfast! She is full til lunch, then full til dinner. I no longer need a clock lol!! She is one! 7.30, 1.30 and 6.30! Meals must be ready for these times.

I saw a documentary where it was cheaper for a family to eat take aways then to eat well in the US!!

We owe it to our children's future to start now with them. My goodness it takes a lot of coaching initially, but once supported with love and encourwgement a child will thrive in this new way of life.

The difference in Molls attitude towards food now is astounding! She had a sleep over party in her friends the other evening, full of sweets, chocs, crips and fizzy sugary drinks!! It was only 2 doors up! But she went off with a packed lunch of chicken, cucumbers, pistachios and strawberries and some banana. She did it! She came back to me yesterday morning thrilled with herself for having done something so hard! These are all valuable lessons that will never be stricken from her memory. She doesn't feel like she is missing out either. She gets it! I think this isnwhatbthe amazing thing is, she gets the whole 30 program!!! There are some adults even after much explaining still don't get it!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well today is Day 30 and very very proud to say that my Daughter who turns 10 on Wednesday did it!! She said the other night that it is scary how fat these days went by. The first 4 days were def the worst for her with the sugar detox but after that she has done amazingly! She has gone to sleep overs and not eaten any non compliant foods, have has turned her friends numerous offers of sweets down and then last week turned down a hot school lunch and desert. She wanted to get to the 30 days so much without having broken any rules. I am very happy for her. She absolutely loves her three meals a day now and wants to keep it like that. She has observed her friends at school and is amazed at how hungry they all get by 10.30!! She says she's never hungry til about 12.30 - 13.00. I am actually so glad we as a mother and daughter did this together. She has learned lessons now that will take her through her life. She still of course wants her treat now and again but she now thoroughly gets the meaning of a treat. She knows it has to be 'worth it'. Very happy to have reached today with her! Not at all difficult with the exception of the first 4 days! She looked like Voldemort lol!! :-) Now she really is truly the human version of Bouncy Tiger! :-)

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Oh goodness yes! We have had many a long chat about the reasonings for the whole 30 etc. Sugar for her was a major problem. Her life revolves around getting her next bit of sugar in the form of biscuits, ice pops, chocolate, jellies. She 100% understands that her life with respect to food has changed now forever! She actually said out of the blue yesterday to me she loves our new lives!! She said I love so much my food now Mammy! She also made me a card to say well done lol! We called ourselves Super Paleos when on the whole 30! So she drew us with cloaks with Super Paleo written on them! :-)

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