A Very Hungry Mommy and Baby W30 Round 2.3

[BabyBear]

1 hour ago, Jennifer Jensen said:

So sorry about your Grammy. Grief. Is. So. Hard. My brother died at 56 of a sudden heart attack. I still am not over it, especially this year. I am now 56. Life has not been the same.





 

My hubby brother was 56 when we lost him to cancer three years ago in October.  That loss shook my hubby hard.  This is a hard month!  
a sudden loss like that of your brothers is so incredibly hard.  You almost feel cheated somehow and it’s hard to find closure.  
we were blessed that we were able to make it to my Grammys bedside before she passes in March.  We made  the 21 hr drive plus 4 hours to get a flat on the RV fixed and when we arrived we immediately went to her room to spend time with her.  She wanted to hold the wiggly toddler.  I sat my little one on the bed beside her as we sang songs and he patted her hair because I had been stroking her hair earlier.  After about an hour and half I went to make lunch so my mom could sit with her and she passed in that next 30 min.  It was a scary time to travel we had no idea if we were going to be able to get back home because states were closing left and right for COVID we couldn’t even have a funeral for her.  Just a short grave side service.  I am so glad I took the risk and went up.  It is a precious memory I will always cherish.  

[BabyBear]

day 4 cont...
Wow! So I went back and found my first log from January.  I read the first week and I’m ugly crying again.  Clearly today is a day of processing emotions.  A purge of my soul.  I was reminded of how far I have come even in just this year in learning to be kind to me and give myself room for healing.  The scale hasn’t had the allure and power it once did.  I’ve actually been annoyed at having to weigh in once a month for my prenatal meet with my midwife.  It is totally becoming just a number and there are so many other factors that tell me which direction my health is headed.  I was reminded of how great Melissa’s podcast “Do the Thing” is and I’m going to make space in my day to listen to some more of her episodes. Also I think I will revisit food freedom book and see what new things I can glean, and strengthen others.  

1:00 M2 - chicken sausages sautéed with onions, bell peppers and garlic.  Plus some cabbage tossed in at the end with a squeeze of lemon juice on top of a bed of spinach’s

Oh lunch was really good! It nourished y belly and my soul.  

I sitting out in the dark watching the stars, and listening to my chicken sizzling on the grill.  I’m in the dark because I forgot how quickly the sun goes down, and we have no lights in the back yard.  It is so peaceful. This makes me want a fire pit.  I’ve teaching myself how to grill with charcoal this summer.  This is my Frist attempt at chicken.  I’m pretty comfortable with burgers and hot dogs now, so trying my luck with chicken.  

My hubby came out to visit with me before going to pick up 18DS from work.  I mentioned a fire pit would be nice and he agreed.  A fire pit may actually happen.  I’m excited just of thought that it may be a possibility. 

8:00 M3 - grilled Italian chicken tenderloin, grilled garlic asparagus, mashed potatoes

Phew that dinner was a lot of work, well a lot of walking back and forth from kitchen to grill.  I also made BBQ chicken drumsticks for my boys which took much longer than tenderloins would, but I did manage to have a good handle on the time management of it all.  My boys also thoroughly enjoyed the meal.  I am proud of myself for learning how to use a charcoal grill.  I’m proud of me for putting effort into a delicious dinner.  I’m proud of me for doing the dishes as I go.  After dinner I literally just had the glass baking pan that contained the chicken and asparagus for serving and the pot the mashed potatoes were in.  I am notorious for being a messy cook that dirties every dish in the house to make a meal.  I did use a lot of different pots and bowls and knives and cutting boards and the blender, but I cleaned them and put them away as I went.  

After getting baby bathed and in bed, I passed out on the couch while visiting with my hubby who was playing his video game.  When he was finished he helped me up and took me to bed.  
 

Water: 112oz

[BabyBear]

10/9/2020 Day 5

7:30 up with the toddler.  Made his breakfast.  Got everyone up to get our day going.

8:30 M1 - 2 eggs with basil and nutritional yeast, cooked in ghee.  Carrot sticks and half an apple with almond butter.   

Breakfast was simple and filling.  I got dishes done and boys have their day going.  I am feeling more alert and less foggy.  I definitely have more energy than I have had.  My face looked less puffy this morning.  These are great things!  My digestive track is normalizing and I’m actually able to eat a full meal 3x a day with out feeling stuffed and bloated.  One of my reasons for doing a whole 30 was that I was getting to the stage of my pregnancy that I could only eat 3-5 bites of my meal and I would be full.  If I ate an entire meal I was so full and uncomfortable that I couldn’t eat anything else for 12 hours or more, so I wanted to ensure the little bit I could eat was nutrient dense.  The fact that I can eat 3 meals a day on whole 30 right now tells me my body is much more efficient and happy at digesting real foods (meats, veggies, fruits, fats) than it is at digesting sugars and highly processed foods.  It is always such a daunting and seemingly enormous task to start eating whole and real foods when you’ve been down that spiral slide of unhealthy,  processed, quick, easy, energy draining way of eating. However, when I do manage to pull myself up by the boot straps and muster up the courage and energy to just do it, I feel great, my energy is restored and I feel good about myself and my choices. Other things happen too, I become more productive, more available to my loved ones, more patient,  more capable of handling stress, and the list seems to go on and on.  I find myself more attractive when I’m taking care of me, and that has a positive affect on my relationship with my hubby (which is why I blame whole 30 for my current status.  People joke that this is a quarantine baby and I tell them no it’s a whole 30 baby LMBO).             

[Jennifer Jensen]

On 10/8/2020 at 4:04 PM, BabyBear said:

I am so glad I took the risk and went up.  It is a precious memory I will always cherish.  

I am glad you went as well. Funerals and grief were two of the first things I thought of when quarantine happened. And since then one of my very close friends lost her son and we will have the memorial next year. He was only 22. 

[Jennifer Jensen]

16 hours ago, BabyBear said:

I sitting out in the dark watching the stars, and listening to my chicken sizzling on the grill.  I’m in the dark because I forgot how quickly the sun goes down, and we have no lights in the back yard.  It is so peaceful. This makes me want a fire pit.  I’ve teaching myself how to grill with charcoal this summer.  This is my Frist attempt at chicken.  I’m pretty comfortable with burgers and hot dogs now, so trying my luck with chicken.  

I've come a long way with grilling. My first time was when I tried grilling my dad a steak for Father's Day. I was young but out of high school, I think. We had a patio under the deck where the grill was located and fire flamed up and I thought it was going to catch the deck on fire.

For years we kept on saying we were going to get a grill and things always got in the way. We've had this one for nearly four years now and I am the grillmaster. I tried five different marinades on some chicken tonight. I grilled all but the curry and jalapeno lime. I ate the balsamic basil chicken with grilled veggies over cauliflower rice with a side of acorn squash. It was good but not as great as hoped. I'm looking forward to the curry because my husband doesn't like it and I usually don't make it just for myself.

 https://eatthegains.com/whole30-chicken-marinade-5-ways/

[BabyBear]

10/10 Day 6 

7:30 up with the toddler after being up and down with him several times with him in the night. Something he ate soured in his tummy so he puked about 3am and then I think every time he moved after that I was up checking on him.  Makes for a tired mommy.

10:30 S1- I couldn’t in good conscience classify this as a meal… banana, beef jerky, pistachios

I realized on my way out the door I hadn’t eaten so I grabbed what I could.  I had blast shopping with niece and sister-in-love.  They tried on all the cute itty bitty dresses.  My niece picked out 4 dresses she loved and my sister in love also got a dress.  They kept thanking me for inviting them.  The crazy thing is they spent $75 and saved over $700.  So it was a good shopping day.  

1:30 M1 - LO grilled chicken, mashed potatoes and salad greens with homemade raspberry dressing.

Lunch was delicious and hit the spot.  Now for work.

5:30 S2- clementine

Work has me stressing and wanting all the junk food, I know it’s feelings and stress more than anything else and I don’t actually want those things.  However, I don’t have time to unpack my thoughts, so I grabbed a clementine and plugged away at the numbers.  

8:30 - M3 Grilled Italian chicken, LO mashed potatoes 

I put the chicken I had marinating on the cast iron grill inside because it was down pouring outside.  Reheated the mashed potatoes and tossed a few carrot sticks on a plate and ta da dinner, no pizza required.  I didn’t end up eating carrots, they were too much effort to chew, I’m tired!  The chicken and the mashed potatoes were good.  I had to fight my boys off of the last chicken tender and potatoes, so I have a lunch for tomorrow at moms.  I told her I’m doing an elimination/ant-inflammatory diet and why and she responded okay.  She kept asking can you have such and such, me I don’t know can you read me the ingredients.  She was like no I’d have to go out to the freezer.  I laughed and told her not to worry about it because like I had said before I was planning to bring my lunch.  My parents have both done a couple rounds of an inflammatory diet with me before it’s just been a long time.  They always feel great doing it but honestly like me they quickly reverted back to old ways because they didn’t connect the dots of the emotional and mental that’s attached to the physical act of eating.  I learned a lot through whole 30 that I hadn’t with other “diets”.  I’m grateful for what I have learned and the process of healing that processing my relationship with food is bringing.   It also feels good to be back in my kitchen making real food, and most of which my kids are thoroughly enjoying.  The brain fog is lifting and the process of planning ahead is getting easier.   
 

water: 85oz (I was too focused on work and only drank 1 of my 17oz cups in the 4 hours I was working.)

[LadyM]

14 hours ago, BabyBear said:

 I didn’t end up eating carrots, they were too much effort to chew, I’m tired!  

This made me laugh! I hope you're finding the rest and de-stressing you need.

[Jennifer Jensen]

16 hours ago, BabyBear said:

They always feel great doing it but honestly like me they quickly reverted back to old ways because they didn’t connect the dots of the emotional and mental that’s attached to the physical act of eating.  I learned a lot through whole 30 that I hadn’t with other “diets”.  I’m grateful for what I have learned and the process of healing that processing my relationship with food is bringing.   It also feels good to be back in my kitchen making real food, and most of which my kids are thoroughly enjoying.  The brain fog is lifting and the process of planning ahead is getting easier.   

This is mostly what I want to gain from Whole30. I have loved creating my own recipes and trying out a few others, especially for condiments, sauces, and oils. I had no idea some could be so easy!

[BabyBear]

10/11 Day 7 ... one week is 7 days unless it’s year 2020 then it’s more like 7 months.  
 

6:45 up with toddler.  I convinced him to go back to bed with some milk and an animal cracker.  Ha ha desperate times, am I right. 

7:45 - up to get ready to go.  I checked my phone and had a message from a dear friend. Her 19 yr old son whom I have taught in children’s church and in martial arts class had died in a car accident last night.  My heart sank to my feet and I just sat in the floor of my bathroom and wept.  I sobbed for who knows how long.  But when I finally pulled myself together I realized there would be no breakfast, but it’s okay because I’m not sure I could eat anyways.  I went through the motions of the morning and got everyone going.  I packed my lunch and a snack and headed out the door to be with my Sacred Family.  

10:00 S1- banana with almond butter, beef jerky, clementine

Reading Food Freedom Forever and I came across this

 “What you are embarking upon is a constant cycle of progression, but it’s not linear. You’ll do well, then stumble. You’ll be in control, then fall back into old habits. You’ll have weeks of effortless balance, followed by (surprise!) a week of Carb-a-Palooza. This is all totally okay.”

Far too often I beat myself up for “falling off” or “stumbling about” or “diving head first” into unhealthy foods, decisions and patterns.  The falling away is part of the cycle… it makes sense.  There is a life long line of habits, emotions, psychiatric responses, trauma, comfort, memories that are attached to food.  Food freedom is never struggling with these things, in fact it’s just the opposite it’s understanding that it is all part of the cycle and all part of living with food freedom.  Every time I cycle back around to needing a reset I learn something about myself and about my relationship with food.  This is how it should be.  I am not going to learn everything in 30 days to forever change my behavior.  Phew this is such a relief, a freedom of sorts, permission to be human.  I have been living in food freedom and this cycle around to a reset is just another level of the cycle.  

12:30 M1- Lo Grilled chicken tender, Lo mashed potatoes, roasted potatoes, asparagus, spinach salad with raspberries and pecans with my raspberry dressing.

We had a good lunch.  I’m glad I brought my own food.  It just made it easier.  My mom only put BBQ on half of the beef tips thinking I could have it because she didn’t read the label.  I asked for the label of the spices and just as  suspected sugar was in the spices.  So I said no thank you it’s best that I don’t try the beef tips.  My moms response was a bit snarky “well fine all the more for us” sigh sadly I’ve come to expect this from her when she is not eating a anti-inflammatory diet.  Its her way of deflecting.  I’m learning to ignore it and not respond.  

NSV: I had the energy to help with dishes and did all the dishes after lunch. 

 

 

[Jennifer Jensen]

9 hours ago, BabyBear said:

Reading Food Freedom Forever and I came across this

 “What you are embarking upon is a constant cycle of progression, but it’s not linear. You’ll do well, then stumble. You’ll be in control, then fall back into old habits. You’ll have weeks of effortless balance, followed by (surprise!) a week of Carb-a-Palooza. This is all totally okay.”

Putting that quote in my encouragement log.  

[BabyBear]

Day 7 cont...

 

8:00 S2- Beef jerky and a clementine

I got frustrated with the computer and things not working right.  I ended up having to go into the office to fix the remote connections and pickup paperwork.  It took longer than expected and put me getting home later than I had wanted. I ate my snack I had on hand as emergency food on the way home to prevent a drive thru mishap.  

When I got home my spirits were instantly lifted.  My darling hubby had been hard at work decluttering, vacuuming, sweeping etc.  The house was looking so much better. The toddler was exhausted and went straight to bed.  While I was putting him down hubby drew me a bath and I got to soak for an hour while reading.  

Not enough water today!  

water: 68oz

[Jennifer Jensen]

3 hours ago, BabyBear said:

I got frustrated with the computer and things not working right.

I don't know how many times this happens to my husband. He is working at the office today because of an endodontist appointment. 

Sorry you had a bad day.

I hope you find this as hilarious I did. https://www.facebook.com/1567240802/videos/10222392326748141/

 

[BabyBear]

Day 8... Time to Monday

7:00 up with the toddler.  Feeling bleh, but could be Im hungry, I am definitely thirsty.  I’ll eat some breakfast and hope that helps.  At the very least keep the hangry monster within at bay.  Get the little one fed and situated and get started on my own food.

8:00 M1- eggs scrambled, air fried breakfast potatoes, stir fry veggies carrots, snap peas, zucchini, broccoli with some garlic and coconut aminos.

Breakfast was good. I got a plan together for food for the rest of the day.  
10:30-11:30 nap

2:00 M2 - beef stroganoff, over top spaghetti squash with steamed broccoli.  (The cashews that make up the cream sauce counts as my fat)

This recipe is so Ah!-mazing.  My boys love it and willingly ate the broccoli that I served with it.  My 11DS did the majority of the work to make the meal and did a great job.  This dish is so creamy and inviting. Half way through my meal  I had to sit and listen to my body for a moment to decide if I was just enjoying the taste or if I was still needing more food. I was indeed still needed more food.  But after a few more bites and being intentional to listen to cues I found I was satisfied, so I packed up the rest for lunch tomorrow.  

NSV: a healthy food had the potential to be a no brakes food.  I was mindful as I ate and listened to my bodies cues.  

Phew changing a light bulb shouldn’t be so hard.  I went to change the lightbulb overhead light for the stove that sits under the microwave, and only the glass bulb and filament came out.  The bottom half stayed in the socket.  My hubby said to leave it and he would call our handy man to come out and fix it… but that would cost a minimum of $75 just for him to come out.  When hubby headed out to run errands I gathered the troops (the boys) and we took the bottom of the microwave apart disassembled the light fixture, removed all the corrosion and the rest of the light bulb from the socket and gave the underside of the microwave a good scrubbing.  I was putting the last screws in when my hubby came back.  We plugged in the microwave and turned on the light and ta da it worked plus the underside of the microwave got cleaned.  Oh yeah and I saved $75 buckaroos.  Girl power!  I also demonstrated to my boys how to troubleshoot a problem and some safety points on working with appliances.  My hubby shook his head and kind of chuckled at me because I was out of breath from manually putting 10 screws back in that required some real umph to make em tight.  He told me I didn’t need to put myself through that hasssel he didn’t mind paying to have someone do it. Then kissed my forehead and said thank you for being stubborn and saving us $75.  It’s a good thing he loves me, or I would probably drive him insane.  

Some of this overly independent I can do it myself spirit probably stems from the trauma of being abandoned with two little kids.  Being forced into a lifestyle and situation you never ever thought you would be in does something to you.  Sometimes you had to learn how to do things because they had to be done and you were the only one you could count on and hiring out the job wasn’t possible because there just wasn’t enough money for those things.  I’m okay with that, but I am also having to learn to be okay with being dependent.  Had my hubby said hold off and I’ll look at it and fix it, I may have forced myself to wait.  But to spend money on something I knew I most likely could manage with a little effort is so beyond my nature.  I’m a saver not a spender of course that tendency became really bad when I was a single mom.  I am learning to push through the unhealthy aspects of that, but it’s hard.  It upsets my hubby when he finds out there is something I wanted that could make life easier but I do with out because it cost x amount of dollars.  I love that he wants me to have everything my heart desires.  He used to laugh at me when we were dating because he would say let’s go to the mall and I would be like why is there something you need?  He would say no I just want to walk around and see what there is.  This baffled me… why would you do that, if you don’t know it’s there, then you don’t know you want it, and therefore you do not spend money on something you didn’t know you wanted in the first place.  That was my survival mode thinking.  It’s how I made it on a small amount of money and still made sure my children didn’t want for any needs.  He’s been good for me in this area, leading me gently to a place where it’s okay to buy those shoes if really love them, not because I need them.  So I’m learning to apply this to food.  I’m not going looking for the unhealthy indulgences but when there is something I really want I’m not going to deprive myself not feel guilty when I do partake.  But that something really does have to be worth it, and I really do have to want it for me.  Not because I’m bored, hungry, stressed, or it’s a special day; but because I truly want it.   

[BabyBear]

@Jennifer Jensenthat kid is hilarious. Several of his videos have been floating around my homeschool groups on FB.  
 It wasn’t so much a bad day as it was a frustrating moment and an inconvenience.  It sad that an inconvenience could easily send me spiraling out of control if I’m not practicing mindfulness.  An inconvenience does not a worth it moment make.  

[LadyM]

1 hour ago, BabyBear said:

NSV: a healthy food had the potential to be a no brakes food.  I was mindful as I ate and listened to my bodies cues.  

Some of this overly independent I can do it myself spirit probably stems from the trauma of being abandoned with two little kids.  Being forced into a lifestyle and situation you never ever thought you would be in does something to you.  Sometimes you had to learn how to do things because they had to be done and you were the only one you could count on and hiring out the job wasn’t possible because there just wasn’t enough money for those things.  I’m okay with that, but I am also having to learn to be okay with being dependent.  Had my hubby said hold off and I’ll look at it and fix it, I may have forced myself to wait.  But to spend money on something I knew I most likely could manage with a little effort is so beyond my nature.  I’m a saver not a spender of course that tendency became really bad when I was a single mom.  I am learning to push through the unhealthy aspects of that, but it’s hard.  It upsets my hubby when he finds out there is something I wanted that could make life easier but I do with out because it cost x amount of dollars.  I love that he wants me to have everything my heart desires.  He used to laugh at me when we were dating because he would say let’s go to the mall and I would be like why is there something you need?  He would say no I just want to walk around and see what there is.  This baffled me… why would you do that, if you don’t know it’s there, then you don’t know you want it, and therefore you do not spend money on something you didn’t know you wanted in the first place.  That was my survival mode thinking.  It’s how I made it on a small amount of money and still made sure my children didn’t want for any needs.  He’s been good for me in this area, leading me gently to a place where it’s okay to buy those shoes if really love them, not because I need them.  So I’m learning to apply this to food.  I’m not going looking for the unhealthy indulgences but when there is something I really want I’m not going to deprive myself not feel guilty when I do partake.  But that something really does have to be worth it, and I really do have to want it for me.  Not because I’m bored, hungry, stressed, or it’s a special day; but because I truly want it.   

Such profound reflections here. I can definitely relate to the scarcity mentality learned from a very real history of poverty, and it's so true how the way we relate to money can have everything to do with the way we relate to food. I've done so much unpacking and processing of this myself--and likely will for years to come. But I love the way you bring it back to mindfulness. I just reflected in my own log about my need to return to the anchor of my daily meditation practice, which is how I ground myself again and again in mindfulness. . . . 

Oh, and I'm sure you and your hubby are a wonderful pair in many, many ways--and it's just perfect that you're a saver and he's a spender. You can't have two of one or the other and have a successful partnership, I don't think. I'm learning much to my surprise that I, too, am the saver in my pairing with the Dude.

[LadyM]

1 hour ago, BabyBear said:

2:00 M2 - beef stroganoff, over top spaghetti squash with steamed broccoli.  (The cashews that make up the cream sauce counts as my fat)

This recipe is so Ah!-mazing. 

Is it the alfredo sauce from the Whole30 book (or maybe Whole30 fast and easy)? I made it for the first time this round and was totally amazed. Very easy and so delicious. Agreed that it could easily be food without brakes for me.

[BabyBear]

1 hour ago, LadyM said:

Is it the alfredo sauce from the Whole30 book (or maybe Whole30 fast and easy)? I made it for the first time this round and was totally amazed. Very easy and so delicious. Agreed that it could easily be food without brakes for me.

No, but that recipe is good too.  It’s a recipe I found on IG by maryswholelife it’s technically meatballs but due to my 11DS having egg allergies we don’t make the meat balls and just add all the spices and condiment to meat and mix it well before browning it.  So it reminds me of the stroganoff my mom used to make which my brother called white spaghetti sauce.  Here’s the link to the recipe.  

https://www.maryswholelife.com/whole30-meatball-stroganoff/

[Jennifer Jensen]

10 hours ago, BabyBear said:

Phew changing a light bulb shouldn’t be so hard.  I went to change the lightbulb overhead light for the stove that sits under the microwave, and only the glass bulb and filament came out.  The bottom half stayed in the socket.  My hubby said to leave it and he would call our handy man to come out and fix it… but that would cost a minimum of $75 just for him to come out.  When hubby headed out to run errands I gathered the troops (the boys) and we took the bottom of the microwave apart disassembled the light fixture, removed all the corrosion and the rest of the light bulb from the socket and gave the underside of the microwave a good scrubbing.  I was putting the last screws in when my hubby came back.  We plugged in the microwave and turned on the light and ta da it worked plus the underside of the microwave got cleaned.  Oh yeah and I saved $75 buckaroos.  Girl power!  I also demonstrated to my boys how to troubleshoot a problem and some safety points on working with appliances.  My hubby shook his head and kind of chuckled at me because I was out of breath from manually putting 10 screws back in that required some real umph to make em tight.  He told me I didn’t need to put myself through that hasssel he didn’t mind paying to have someone do it. Then kissed my forehead and said thank you for being stubborn and saving us $75.  It’s a good thing he loves me, or I would probably drive him insane.  

This sounds so much like me. I have been overwhelmed with weeds this summer, our yard was overtaken. I determined I would work out there everyday if I had to to get them under control. Because of my neuropathy, which is especially bad in my hand, arm, and shoulder, I have been in constant pain because of weeding. My husband knew better than to say something because I don't want to spend the money to have someone come out. Finally, last week I went out to weed and my body just quit on me plus under the weeds in that very spot there was nothing but dirt. I had to come in and tell him I gave up. He smiled. He was so relieved that I had finally decided I couldn't do it even though it will mean we have to have the entire yard re-sodded next year. 

But, yeah, I am that way with food and exercise equipment or memberships. I just don't know how to not feel guilty about spending money on myself. I am doing better this time with food. I have finally realized it is worth it.

[BabyBear]

Day 8 cont...

 

8:00 - my body was hurting so after everyone was fed I applied some oils and laid down, and passed out.  Hubby and boys put the toddler for bed for me.  I just wasn’t hungry so I didn’t eat dinner.  I got up around 12 when hubby came to bed and showered. We laid in bed and talked about the day and cuddled. 

Water 85oz

[BabyBear]

10/13 Day 9  I have the tireds. So, very tired.

 

9:15 up with toddler… today is not going as planned. I am so so so very tired.  Everything is achy and I could sleep a thousand years… honestly it is most likely detoxing and I just need to be gentle with myself.  I canceled my AM stuff.  

9:30 M1- three scrambled eggs cooked in ghee with chili powder and oregano.  LO sautéed veggies and home fries.  Ketchup. 

Despite the fatigue I got a decent breakfast in my system and the dishes from breakfast done.  

NSV: I’m keeping the dishes done after every meal.  This is huge for me, like really really huge.  

I have to teach my class at 1:00 so getting everything ready to go.  If I can make it through that then maybe I can come home and sleep.  The dinner plans for tonight is something the boys can prep and they are excited to make dinner tonight.  

12:45 M2 - Lo beef stroganoff with spaghetti squash and broccoli

Eating on the run.  I took my food with me and ate it on the way to class. I survived class. The kids were awesome and I am TIRED

Put the toddler down for a nap when I got home and sat and relaxed until hubby was ready to go to town to get gas.  

Hubby and I had a quick impromptu date.  We got gas and then walked around the little mall and grabbed some dinner at a little local mom and pops that we love.

6:30 M3 5oz sirloin steak, baked potatoes olive oil salt and pepper.  

Olive oil on the potato was meh, if I had known we were going to catch dinner out I would have grabbed some ghee.  Other than that the food was good and the company was great. 

When we got home Hubby sent me to my room to soak, he said the boys and him would see to the toddler… by the sounds of it the toddler may be winning.  I’m sure if they get over their heads they will get me.  Lol.  I’m not sure but they may have a WWE match happening just outside my door.  

Water 102oz (yes!!! Goal met) 

[BabyBear]

Day 10 “I Keel You”

7:45 up have to get the day going.  Ugh!  I’m so glad my in person client agreed to internet meeting today.  My hubby told me last night that he thought I should stay home because he was worried about me falling asleep driving.  He also said my body is telling me to rest and I need to listen.  He is so wise and takes such good care of me.  I find I like having someone like him to “submit” to.  He is also a great escape goat for things.  Lol. So I made the arrangements to stay home today.  I’m very glad I did because I’m still dragging and made need a mid morning nap.

9:45 M1- 2 eggs scrambled in coconut oil, apple sweet potato medley with raisins almonds and cinnamon on top of a bed of spinach.  

I was slow moving this morning, but I did get a new batch of ghee made, the baby fed, dishwasher unloaded, plastic storage containers organized and 11DS helped to clean and organize sections of the pantry all while we were prepping breakfast.    The apple sweet potato medley is actually the filling for an apple sweet potato breakfast bake by 40 Aprons.  I’ve made the breakfast bake before and it was good, but I felt like the filling would be really tasty on it own.  Oh my! Was it ever!  I think I will make this for a Thanksgiving side.  

I’m feeling like Jeff Dunham dummy Achmed. “I keel you!!!”  I may keel everybody before this day is done.  I had to warn my kids I’m really irritated and annoyed by everything. it’s not them it’s me but I may still kill them so they need to help out by not being obnoxious, loud, or foolish.  My 11DS said “so we should just go live outside today.”  Lol at least he’s realistic.  I realize this is just part of the process so I am working hard to keep myself in check.  

3:30 M2- pulled pork and baked potato with ghee, new primal BBQ and home made W30 ranch.

I was soooooo hungry by the time our customers left that the idea of making stir fry was tossed and grabbed something that just had to be heated up.   I did whip up a batch of ranch while my food was heating because I decided that ranch with bbq sauce on my potato sounded delightful and indeed it was.  I got a lot of work done, hubby got a lot of product moved, it was a profitable morning even if it was long.  

I had to take 18DS to town for work, so I decided to go get a few needed items from Walmart and do some walking.  Phew I forgot my belly belt and the round ligament pain is for real. Lol it’s not unbearable but it is uncomfortable.  This is the last week in the 2nd trimester.  Even though January feels so far away, I’m starting realize it’s a lot closer than it appears. I had a bit of panicky moment this evening when I put on my jeans and buttoned them…um come to think of it my face looks a little thinner. So I started scanning the internet on info of pregnancy weight loss safe/non-safe (agh all the conflicting views on things). I finally just said to myself stop!  You don’t even know if you have lost weight.  Let’s take inventory were you eating 2-3 square meals before starting up this whole 30? No, not even close.  Maybe one meal and snacks that were made up of heavily processed non-foods.  Were you eating healthy fats at every meal every day? No.  Were you getting all your servings of vegetables in? Not even close.  Were you consuming 8-10 glasses of water every day? Uh nope.  Was your diet free of sugars and other non nutrient calories? Nope, nada.  It was laden with it.  Okay so what’s the problem? Why are you panicking? Even if you find the scales have slid to the left with the next prenatal appointment wouldn’t you agree that eating this way is better for you and baby?  Yes! So put down the panic.  Do not worry about whether or not weight has dropped, evaluate the overall affect and know that you are doing what is very best for you and baby!  Even if the scale has dipped, it is not an excuse to go back to eating junk that does not serve you or your baby.  Do not let your mind go there.  So I’ve stopped. I read some really great articles on whole 30 momma, regained my confidence that I’m doing what is best for me and baby.  I’m not  starving myself.  I’m eating full meals again.  My appetite has returned. My gut issues are diminishing.  I have more energy than I did a few weeks ago.  I’m properly hydrating. I’m not packing my body full of non-nutrient edibles.  

8:30 got home after picking 18DS and soaked in an Epsom salt bath. 

NSV: I managed not “keel” anybody today!

Water: 102oz

[BabyBear]

10/15 Day 11 1/3 of the way there, not that I’m counting or anything

7:15 up with the toddler.  Got his breakfast going and put a load of laundry in.  I fell asleep at the table making a grocery list waiting on baby to eat. My kids sent me back to bed.

8:30-10:00 sleep

10:30 M1 - 2 eggs with basil cooked in ghee.  LO sweet potato apple medley.  

Dishes are done, the microwave is clean, laundry is started and I need a nap.  But alas my 14DS needs my assistance with annotating President Theodore Roosevelt’s speech “The man with a mud-rake” my brain is not functioning at a high level today. But we muddled our way through it. 

1:30-3:00 nap while the toddler napped

3:30 S1 - deli roast beef, red bell pepper, spicy mustard. And strawberries with almond butter.  

I have no appetite but feeling like I should put food in my belly.  Nothing sounded appealing but strawberries and almond butter.  The roast beef was a quick protein source and I had some red peppers sliced up so I grabbed those too.  Now to get a grocery list together.

6:00 M2- hamburger salad with mayo and ketchup

Stayed up way too late hanging out with hubby.  

Water 119oz

[LadyM]

I'm so impressed with the way you're taking care of yourself and everyone around you. Mindfully. In alignment with that intention of yours.

[BabyBear]

45 minutes ago, LadyM said:

I'm so impressed with the way you're taking care of yourself and everyone around you. Mindfully. In alignment with that intention of yours.

Ah thank you for the encouragement.  One of my highest love languages is words of affirmation and though it may seem silly to some words of encouragement go a long way with me.  Honestly the past few days I felt like I was in survival mode and leaning heavily on my older boys to help out.  I have to beat off the feelings of guilt I place on myself for not being able to do it all.  Honestly though I think the having it all together expectation has taken a very unhealthy turn in our culture.  When I think back to stories of my grandparents and the reading of journals of others beyond those years when life was more family and community focused verses individual focused, moms who had it all together meant they had well trained children that assisted with family responsibilities cooking, cleaning, caring for the young, caring for the farm (family business) etc.  with that in mind if I don’t allow my older children to bear with me some of the responsibilities of the household how will they then learn to be responsible adults.  Responsible children are not robbed of a child hood, rather their child hood is more fulfilling and engaging, and will most likely produce a responsible adult.  Well sorry for the ramble, but that honestly help me unpack and toss out some of the mom guilt I was carrying.  

[BabyBear]

10/16 - Day 12

7:30 up with baby.  Despite only 4.5 hours of sleep I actually have more energy than I did the past two days combine.  Also I’m starving.  Hurray the appetite is back.  (TMI warning I had a huge release last night, so that may be something to do it.)

8:30 M1 scrambled eggs with basil cooked in ghee.  Sweet potato apple medley on top of a bed of spinach. 
 

It took me forever to eat my food this morning, part of that was a needy toddler.  Trying to get things done, but this belly is so darn heavy.  I need to find my belly belt.  

10:30 -S1 clementine

My 11DS with all the food allergies helped me make him some banana bread.  Anytime I make baked goods for him it’s like an expensive science experiment with the potential of things to go very wrong.  Today, everything went right and he has some beautiful chocolate chip banana bread to enjoy over the next few days.  I did good in practicing my mindfulness and not licking my fingers or testing the batter, also another challenge to hoping it comes out right.  I typically taste the batter to ensure flavor is balanced.  Baked goods will taste the way the batter taste.  I’m really glad his bread turned out well.  It smells amazing.  I had to eat a quick something in the middle of baking because I started feeling weird, shaky and in “need” of sugar.  It could be withdrawals, but feels like real hunger.  The clementine helped and I was able to get through the baking and getting my food made.

1:15 M2 - shrimp stir fry with broccoli, carrots, zucchini, and snow peas. On top of cauliflower rice topped with extra Asian sauce for added fat.  

I have been craving stir fry my whole pregnancy.  But Covid, and now Whole 30 lol.  So I whipped up an Asian marinade sauce I had made last time I was on a round and used some of it to marinade the shrimp and the rest I boiled down and then added a little arrowroot powder to get it to slightly sticky consistency.  Once the veggies and shrimp were done cooking I poured some of the sauce into the pan and tossed it about.  Then I poured some onto my cauliflower rice (which made it actually palatable) before topping with the stir fry.  This was good, really good.  I’m glad I made enough for left overs.  I was beginning to very agitated and that weird feeling I get when really hungry.  Food fixed it.  I’ll keep on eye on this, I may need to add another meal in to keep energy levels up.  Which I read is not uncommon for prego women especially as capacity to fit in all the food decreases.  

The sauce is olive oil, sesame oil, coconut aminos, garlic, sesame seeds, ginger, onion powder, and salt.  

4:00 S2- banana

Headed out the door I grabbed some ghee and bbq sauce and a banana.  I went ahead and ate the banana and I anticipate this jaunt out of the house may turn into impromptu date night.     Our JC penny had everything marked down to 90%.  So I bought some clothes.  Some tops that will fit me now and some other clothes for later.  I saw a couple adorable jumpers but then realized I needed to consider the fact that once I fit in them I would be exclusively nursing… so back on the shelf they went.  I bought a few things, but I’d didn’t  go crazy because I honestly don’t know what size I’ll be.  My hubby went and picked out some evening gowns, and oh the strange looks he was getting.  We decided we would pick out a few and flip them.  He’s always the one who knows how to double his buck and honestly I think he may have hit a gold mine.  All in all we spent about $300 all together on about $3,000 worth of stuff.  So now I get to work on listing dresses this weekend and hopefully it will allow some girls in need to get an amazing dress at an amazing price and in turn help out our family too.  I always tell my hubby I never worry if we will go hungry because he’s got a knack for knowing how to make a little extra when the going gets tough.  He’s also one of the most giving persons I know.  Last store that had a major closing sale he bought about $900 worth of men’s dress and business clothing for $35 and donated to a ministry closet that our church supports.  They had mentioned they were in desperate need of men’s clothing especially items that would be appropriate for interviews.  While I was shopping through racks of clothes he was making phone calls to locals who had thrift shops, consignment, even clothes closets to see if they needed any of the hardware or hangers.  So we also ended up with two big racks and a box of hangers we will deliver to folks tomorrow.  We had fun and enjoyed a nice little dinner at a mom and pops that had just opened.  Upon careful questioning and visit from the owner with his list of spices etc I settled on the food and my condiments I brought along just incase made it that much more enjoyable 

7:30 M3 beef brisket (hold the BBQ sauce) baked potato ghee and new primal BBQ sauce.  

The food was great.  The staff was great.  The owner was amazing.  This place will definitely be added to our rotation.  That is one nice thing about living in a small town is that we do have quite a large selection of mom and pop restaurants and they seem to care so much more than chain stores.  What we don’t have in variety we make up for in quality.  

I think I shall finish off my day with a little couch time with hobby then a hot soak in an Epsom salt bath.

NSV - my rings are free spinning on my hand.  When I took a selfie to reference the height of a rack my face didn’t look like a giant puffer fish.  So little victories all along the way add up to the big victories. 

Water 119oz… my thirst seems to be ever increasing.