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Dear Day 5: Good Morning and What the...Heck?


MistyJG

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Day 5 Notes:

 

***  I have the vague feeling that I'm going to have an accident at my desk.  WTHeck?  Nobody likes a poopy pants coworker.

 

Also...

 

* It is -18 here in Minneapolis right now - you know what would be good?  Waffles.  Waffles with syrup and bacon and a latte.  In bed.

 

* My pants are a bit tight, but I'm also wearing two pairs of them because It's Cold Outside.

 

* Yesterday my dear friend and ex-husband came to pick up our children.  I handed him a big bag of groceries.  "What's this?"  he asked.  "Well," I responded, "It's everything good and delicious in the world, but I can't eat it.  Jack has been asking for cinnamon rolls all weekend, please make them.  Mean Mommy just wouldn't be able to handle the smell.

 

*  I made mac and cheese for the kids, and I used a trick I learned from detectives removing moldy bodies from crime scenes - Vicks Rub under the nose - to keep me from crying salty tears into the noodles.

 

*  I did have one giant energy burst yesterday, and I cleaned like a well-oiled machine.  I really need that feeling again.  This morning I feel as though I may have undergone a lobotomy in my sleep.

 

* I hate coconuts a lot, unless they are part of a satiny, non-edible concoction that I am rubbing on my skin whilst laying under the sun at the beach.  That said, I may try a bit in my coffee.  Because this toxic sludge in my mug is killing my soul.  Still trying to channel Dale Cooper...

 

 

 

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Ha! You're doing great. :) It will get better! Are you drinking good quality coffee? That makes a huge difference for me!

I sympathize on the coconut. I really really hate it. I can do coconut milk in recipes, and I can do coconut oil in something like chili where it's covered up, but coconut butter or frying in coconut oil? Forget it.

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You make my black and withered heart smile.

 

My pants are tight today too, and it is not NEARLY as cold down here .... but I am still wearing two pair. -15 wind chill is cold enough for Middle Tennessee. I heard it is like -50 with the wind chill up there, and my instinct is to squeal and flail that this cannot possibly be a real number.

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Alliath... -15 in Tennessee is crazy town!  I wonder if all of our Whole 30s have combined to cause the apocalypse?  I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

 

JustMary...I don't have a Magic Bullet.  I honestly don't even know what it is, but it sounded vaguely dirty :)  Now that I've looked it up, I'm wondering - can I shake the concoction like a martini instead?  Will it just not mix well with a spoon (or whisk?).

 

jent103...Amen! 

 

Run4Fun...I'm glad I could make you laugh :)  Do you want to hear something really un-funny?  The following email was just sent to all employees at the firm I work at:

 

"Pizza will be brought in for lunch today - don't venture out if you don't' have to!". What a nice, nice gesture that is like a punch in my face.

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Alliath... -15 in Tennessee is crazy town!  I wonder if all of our Whole 30s have combined to cause the apocalypse?  I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

 

JustMary...I don't have a Magic Bullet.  I honestly don't even know what it is, but it sounded vaguely dirty :)  Now that I've looked it up, I'm wondering - can I shake the concoction like a martini instead?  Will it just not mix well with a spoon (or whisk?).

 

jent103...Amen! 

 

Run4Fun...I'm glad I could make you laugh :)  Do you want to hear something really un-funny?  The following email was just sent to all employees at the firm I work at:

 

"Pizza will be brought in for lunch today - don't venture out if you don't' have to!". What a nice, nice gesture that is like a punch in my face

You are hilarious with your Magic Bullet reference.....but on the serious side, I hope you have an amazing lunch packed today so you don't even feel tempted by the greasy, processed, dairy-topped, and gluten-laced pizza. 

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Alliath... -15 in Tennessee is crazy town!  I wonder if all of our Whole 30s have combined to cause the apocalypse?  I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

 

JustMary...I don't have a Magic Bullet.  I honestly don't even know what it is, but it sounded vaguely dirty :)  Now that I've looked it up, I'm wondering - can I shake the concoction like a martini instead?  Will it just not mix well with a spoon (or whisk?).

 

jent103...Amen! 

 

Run4Fun...I'm glad I could make you laugh :)  Do you want to hear something really un-funny?  The following email was just sent to all employees at the firm I work at:

 

"Pizza will be brought in for lunch today - don't venture out if you don't' have to!". What a nice, nice gesture that is like a punch in my face.

 

Day 5 here but we don't hit the sub-zero weather until tomorrow.  (It is, however, raining in my office.  Again.)  Today there is a chocolate cake sitting on the counter of the office kitchen.  It was a gift from our financial advisers.  I also discovered 3/4 of a bar of good dark chocolate sitting on my desk from before the holidays.  DH had to make the kid his mac and cheese the other night. 

 

Oh, and coconut oil makes me crave chocolate.  Just a warning!

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Alliath, I'm in Nashville! It is stupid cold here. All my Midwestern-native friends are rolling their eyes but I am not built for this! I guess I should be glad I'm not any further north...

 

Misty, you can survive the pizza. You CAN!

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booklover...if there was cake in my office right now, I think I'd have to call it a day and go home.  Which reminds me of one of the best Seinfeld episodes EVER - Elaine is frustrated because "Every day is somebody's special day" at the office and so there's always cake around. She takes a sick  day and this is what happens when she comes back (I just found the script online):

 

Elaine:  What is this?

 

Male worker:  You were out sick yesterday, so we got you a get-well cake.

 

Female worker:  It's carrot.  It's good for you.

 

Workers (singing):  Get well get well soon, we wish you to get --

 

Elaine: Stop it!  That's not even a song!  I mean, now we're celebrating a sick day?

 

Male worker:  I think it's nice.

 

Elaine:  What?  What is nice?  Trying to fill he void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla?  I mean, we are all unhappy.  Do we have to be fat, too?  Not you Becky, I know you have slow metabolism.  I don't want one more piece of cake in my office!!!

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Oh MAN. That office sounds JUST LIKE MY OFFICE.

We have one of those ladies who likes to bake cupcakes and then brings them all in all, "Oh, I don't eat sweets. Here you go guys!"

Once I determine the source of her evil powers, I will take up the sword of ages and destroy her.

If by "destroy her" you mean "beg her to bring in steamed asparagus instead."

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Alliath...I hear you.  Why, WHY?  It was sweet over the holidays.  It's not sweet anymore. Plus, stuff people make at home is weird to me.  What if they have cats that sleep on the counter?  Or if they don't cover their sneezes? 

 

Don't get me wrong, I eat it anyway.  But it's still weird.

 

There's a great video clip of that segment of Seinfeld...in You Tube search "Elaine That's Not Even a Song". 

 

:) 

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jent103...I survived :)  I took a nap.  Being hungry for cake and pizza is barely edging out being tired at this point.  At least I could take care of ONE of those things..

 

Don't feel bad about being cold...it's all relative.  A friend of mine is in Antarctica working at McMurdo.  It's warmer there today...she's warmer than I am!!!!   That's not natural. 

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Misty, your rants are very funny! Excellent read! On a serious note do try and put as much (more...all?) focus on the amazing foods you can eat. Changing how you feel about pizza and cake goes a long way towards long term success. All that said I'm glad I don't work in your office. Treats are few and far between here and that does make it easier to make healthier choices.

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It's good advice, Physibeth.  I want to change the way I feel about cake, I really do.  I think I'm in the mourning process.  Acceptance comes later.  On a happy note, it's my birthday month and I get to pick the birthday treat...or at minimum, I can request a couple of Lara bars for myself while everyone else eats crap.  Yay!!

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I'm on day five and I hear you. :) Somehow I feel bigger than I was a few days ago! I have found that I like coconut though....I use full-fat coconut milk in my coffee and LOVE it poured over strawberries and blueberries with slivered almonds. I'm sorry about the crazy weather, I really don't know how anyone does it....I live in South Florida and it's about 78 degrees **dodges shoe**

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CaryBear...I don't even know what to say.  78?  That hurts my heart a little bit.  I mean...I'm happy for you.  Really.  Between the Whole 30 and the weather, I'm pretty sure my will to live is being tested.  This is what legends are made of. 

 

I am nursing 5 pistachios.  Sucking on the shells for awhile is helpful.  If I choke on one I can rest assured that the doctor performing the autopsy will make a note of the extraordinarily healthy contents of my stomach.

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JustMary...I don't have a Magic Bullet.  I honestly don't even know what it is, but it sounded vaguely dirty :)  Now that I've looked it up, I'm wondering - can I shake the concoction like a martini instead?  Will it just not mix well with a spoon (or whisk?).

 

 

 

Uh, yeah, don't use *that* magic bullet with your coffee!  :lol: I don't think it would emulsify enough just by shaking. You could put it in a regular-sized blender, it's just more work to clean up. If you're in the market for a magic bullet *blender,* I just saw them on sale at Costco for $35, which is a great price. I've also seen off-brand individual-sized blenders for around $20 at JC Penney and Target, too. They're pretty handy. I use mine all the time for chopping up flax seeds and nuts. 

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JustMary...I don't have a Magic Bullet.  I honestly don't even know what it is, but it sounded vaguely dirty :)  Now that I've looked it up, I'm wondering - can I shake the concoction like a martini instead?  Will it just not mix well with a spoon (or whisk?).

 

Shaking won't work - you want the contents to emulsify.

 

I use an immersion blender.  This is the one I own: worth every penny. I use it every morning to blend my coffee with clarified butter and coconut oil, and as needed to make homemade mayo and mashed cauliflower. http://www.surlatable.com/product/PRO-972026/Cuisinart+SmartStick+Immersion+Blender+Metallic+Charcoal

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booklover...if there was cake in my office right now, I think I'd have to call it a day and go home.  Which reminds me of one of the best Seinfeld episodes EVER - Elaine is frustrated because "Every day is somebody's special day" at the office and so there's always cake around. She takes a sick  day and this is what happens when she comes back (I just found the script online):

 

Elaine:  What is this?

 

Male worker:  You were out sick yesterday, so we got you a get-well cake.

 

Female worker:  It's carrot.  It's good for you.

 

Workers (singing):  Get well get well soon, we wish you to get --

 

Elaine: Stop it!  That's not even a song!  I mean, now we're celebrating a sick day?

 

Male worker:  I think it's nice.

 

Elaine:  What?  What is nice?  Trying to fill he void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla?  I mean, we are all unhappy.  Do we have to be fat, too?  Not you Becky, I know you have slow metabolism.  I don't want one more piece of cake in my office!!!

This is great!  Great laughs...

:lol:

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Shaking won't work - you want the contents to emulsify.

 

I use an immersion blender.  This is the one I own: worth every penny. I use it every morning to blend my coffee with clarified butter and coconut oil, and as needed to make homemade mayo and mashed cauliflower. http://www.surlatable.com/product/PRO-972026/Cuisinart+SmartStick+Immersion+Blender+Metallic+Charcoal

I have been gone a while...clarified butter and coconut oil in your coffee?  Never have tried that.  What is it like?  And why this way? 

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I have been gone a while...clarified butter and coconut oil in your coffee?  Never have tried that.  What is it like?  And why this way? 

 

Because it's yummy.  :) 

But seriously, it's the Paleo version of the original Bulletproof Coffee which is made with butter and MCT oil. http://www.bulletproofexec.com/how-to-make-your-coffee-bulletproof-and-your-morning-too/

I've tried coffee with only clarified butter or only coconut oil, and I didn't like it.  But the two together - bliss!

 

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Do you need to emulsify if you use coconut milk in your coffee, or can I just stir away?

 

In a crazed burst of energy last night, I moved around all the furniture in my living room.  I also dusted.  I was a maniac.  Today, though...today.  So.  Tired.  I can barely hold up my own head.  I'm wondering if I can turn my back to my office door and sleep while sitting straight up and holding an official document.  Probably not, but I'm fantasizing about it.

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