emotional support.

[Guest]

So long story short, I had a close bereavement before christmas. I stripped my life back to the bare minimum, work sleep and eating when I felt like it.

 

I started a whole 30 (am on day 22), and for the first time since the loss I went and socialised with my friends last night. I found it really tough, I couldn't drink to make the anxiety go away. I ended up leaving early and coming home. I was really sad about how far away from being back to my normal, sociable self I was, and I wanted to eat everything and anything. So I had a SWYPO slip up and made pancakes, and resorted to eating carrots. 

 

Just something I can constantly shove in my mouth to numb the emotional ache, I guess.

 

Without this coping mechanism, it's made me realise that I'm still in quite a bad way.

what other ways are there for caring for ourselves emotionally, apart from food?

[GFChris]

I'm sorry this has been a tough time for you.

Is there someone you can talk to about your feelings?

 

Besides food, what sort of activities bring you joy, rejuvenate yourself, or soothe you?  For me, it's things like being with my family and close friends, working out at the gym, doing mindfulness practices, journaling, or reading a good book.  

[missmary]

what other ways are there for caring for ourselves emotionally, apart from food?

The fact that you are asking this question is a good step. For me, taking the time i need to be alone with my thoughts; taking time in nature (just getting some sun on your face can help a lot); thinking of all of those daily chores as nuturing and doing them well (preparing healthy food, bathing, grooming, exercising); breathing. I'm not one for meditation, but just paying attention to my own breath can help with getting centered again. And, I agree with Chris. If you can let one or more of those friends in, and ask them to listen, it would probably help a lot to talk with someone about how you are feeling.

[Mom2A&M]

I'm so sorry and I understand how you feel. It's been 3years and some days are still hard. It's ups and downs, and I think it will be the rest of my life. I agree ith missmary about getting a walk outside. Also, don't try to block your sadness, let it come out full force. I think journaling can help too. There will be better days again but it's also finding new normal for you.

[ginsinnot]

I'm sorry for your loss. I was very close to my mom, she died of pancreatic cancer just 4 years ago. This is a tough month for me, as we found out she had pancreatic cancer and it was terminal on her birthday which would be this month.

 

It can be so easy to use food for comfort. I'm less of a "sad" eater and more of any "angry stressed" eater myself. While it may not feel like a good thing just now, it's really a very big step when you recognize a trigger for what it is.

 

I think it helps to remember that grieving our losses doesn't follow any script or timeline. Don't beat yourself up that you're still struggling when you thought you were past it.

 

I've found the Whole30 becomes about so much more than food. It's a very intropsective process for me and I find my social life focused and limited during a Whole 30. I don't think that's a bad thing. I think it helps me to look and figure things out. So if your usual social activities feel out of place, I think that's not necessarily a bad thing.

 

It was really hard for me to grieve my mom. I found (and still find) that reading a story with loss, will really be a big release for me even now. I'll hear a song that makes me think about her, I'll turn it up and really try to feel whatever I'm feeling while it's on, then get back to life. It's hard for me to talk about with most people, just my closest girlfriend really. It's like I need to break it all up into small doses that I can manage and heal from.

 

Meditation, reading, massages, walks, music. These are things that helped and still help me.

[AllyB]

My two favorite things are getting a massage and going to pilates class.  Getting a massage feels decadent because it's not normally in the budget.  When I am done, I'm totally relaxed and my mind is blank.  I just sit and stare.  It's a similar feeling I'm seeking when I turn to food or alcohol to relieve stress.

 

A tough pilates class doesn't always leave me relaxed, but my body is tired and my mind is still blank.  It's a little like 'checking out' for a while.

[Guest]

Thankyou everyone, amazing support xx

[Midlyfechrysalis]

Grief is a major life-impact. It changes you chemically, and the trauma of the loss effects your brain. {{hugs}}

Be gentle with yourself. Maybe seek a grief support group so that you can safely process grief related issues and minimize the impact on your diet and eating.