Nicole's 2nd W30 Starts NOW

[bpxdomino]

Today started with a very frank conversation. With myself.

 

Something needs to change. Because of the way I eat, I'm not meeting my goals. I feel unfocused and behind the 8 ball at work. I desperately want to achieve a half marathon PR, but bloating and fatigue make me barely able to complete two miles. I'm anxious and unhappy and tired all of the time. I hate being 33 with acne... and rosacea... and eczema.

 

I know I can be a better version of myself.

 

I ended my first W30 back in January unwillingly - I knew I had more work to do after 30 days was up, as I was just beginning to feel the benefits (to be expected after a lifetime of binge eating). But my husband was anxious to get back to bread, cheese, desserts... he never fully bought in to the program. So I resigned myself to go through the reintro process with him, and figured I'd start another W30 (but planned to do it in March, after a few social events were under my belt)

 

But I was never able to get it going again. I made it 9 days during my first reattempt, and then fell off the wagon - went through a period of start/stop/start/stop through April - and then gave up.

 

Since ending the program in January, I have never felt worse. It's time to commit to making permanent, lasting, healthy change. Even though I don't have my husband on board, I know I can't go it alone given my last failed attempts. I had deleted my account here on the forums. I didn't think I needed it, but in the absence of any face to face support, this may just be what I need to get me through the next 30 days.

 

30 days? Let's see if I can do 50... would be nice to 'end' on my birthday.

 

How do I feel today? Motivated. Inspired. Like I CAN do this. Off to re-read ISWF now to remind myself why this is so important. 

[Hutlifr]

You sound just like me a few weeks back... I have no support at home, and find this forum vital. Instead of wasting time on Facebook, I spent precious time in meal planning, and reading whole 30 posts. On day 15, and not a single temptation, and mind you, I live

in the country of croissants, baguette, cassoulet, and cheese. Yes I am not even craving cheese! You can do it, one day at the time!

[bpxdomino]

I feel great today! I took a quick peek at my log from my first Whole 30 and saw that I was feeling a bit exhausted on Days 2 and 3.

 

When looking at other unsuccessful attempts at a W30, my log seemed pretty normal... couldn't glean from it exactly how I was feeling on those days. Maybe because my body was just in "Not THIS again" mode.

 

I'm wondering if I can chalk this feeling up to true positive change already. More likely, I'm riding the high of meeting a few goals and enjoying the novelty of it since it's been some time since I last attempted Whole 30. But - regardless of the reason - I certainly appreciate the feeling!

 

Day began with me actually getting up at 5am instead of giving myself excuses to sleep in and skip working out, as has been the case for the last week. I did argue with myself for a few minutes about waking up (particularly because my dog woke me up at 2am, so it wasn't a perfect night of sleep)  - but I did it! So - this is hopefully the first of a 21 day streak of waking up at 5am. I figured - even on rest days or days where I have a long run instead of CF planned - I will still need to get my butt out of bed at 5 to really instill this as a habit.

 

M1, M2, M3 - kept me satiated and focused for the day. Particularly helpful as work was insanely busy - but instead of seeking out sugar as a distraction, I plowed right through it.

 

I did end up finishing ISWF (for the second time) last night - so glad I decided to re-read it. I first read it last October, but felt like the fall season wasn't the right time to start a W30 for me - so I planned it for January. But sometime between October and January, I had forgotten some of the essentials (such as 3 meals - no snacks! and heck, they even straight up warned me about the binge-ability of sunbutter, but I still kept it in my house. Not this time, sunbutter). Really brushing up on the science behind it all I think will make this even easier for me to get through this time - and perhaps achieve better results.

 

I swung by the library to pick up Robb Wolf's "The Paleo Solution," after being reminded that he was such a big influence on the W30. Will start reading it tonight... but not for too long, as I need a good night's sleep to continue my 5am wake up calls!

[bpxdomino]

Closing on Day 3 - I planned my day around thinking it would be bad weather all day. My husband wanted to go to a local minor league baseball game tonight to celebrate Independence Day, but I thought it would be raining - at this point it's too late to go, but probably a good thing. Don't want to be surrounded by tempting non-compliant foods!

 

Although I feel pretty strong, so I would probably be just fine. Last night, I woke up a few times - at 2am, then again at 4am. My mood is so good, that not only did I NOT want to go to bed last night (sad for the day to be over), I also was disappointed at 2 and at 4 that it wasn't time to get up yet.

 

Now, the waking up in the middle of the night during my first W30 and subsequent attempts. Can anybody explain this?

 

What feels different is the genuine enthusiasm I have for life. It's too soon in my W30 for me to consider this a permanent, healthy change - so I think this must be a 'honeymoon' period - my brain's happy to have something new and different to latch on to.

 

In any case, I did end up rolling out of bed at 5am - which I welcome, because I'm trying to make this a daily habit. During the work week, I need to be up and out the door to make a 530 crossfit class - but I struggle with this. So I understand that I also need to get up this early on my off days. Today, crossfit class was at 9am - but I was still up, making myself a healthy breakfast, walking the dog, meditation, AND getting a few chapters into the Paleo Solution by Robb Wolf.

 

(FYI, if you found ISWF to be an enjoyable, interesting, easy read - even with the science - you'll like this book. Written in a similar vein).

 

Crossfit, cleaned the house, then went to a Russian Banya with my husband. We had a Groupon Deal and have never been to one - was a good way to relax in the afternoon. Made a stop at Whole Foods for some kombucha and coconut water, and called it a day. Once again, feeling a bit down that the day is coming to a close!

 

M1: Chicken Apple Sausage, Mashed Butternut Squash with cinnamon, coffee

PWO: hard boiled egg

M2 & M3: Chicken soup (made from scratch, bone broth included), kale salad with balsamic

 

Had the same thing for dinner as I did for lunch because I enjoyed it so much. Gonna have a cup of tea before bed.

[bpxdomino]

Early today on day 5. Yesterday was very busy. The whole day, I was stressing out about when I would actually be able to sit down and write in my log. And then I went to bed and wondered aloud exactly why I stressed about this? It's not like I'm going to completely forget the events of one day once my head hits the pillow.

 

So Day 4 did not start out as well - found it a little more challenging to get up at 5 (we ended up going to our township fireworks on Friday night and didn't get home until 11:30  - so I don't blame myself for needing to sleep a little bit longer). I also found my mood to be a bit more even.

 

And I had a stomachache. Not the nauseous kind where I felt sick, just a bit of cramping and bloating. I trolled the forums here and learned maybe I need to drink more water. So I downed a lot throughout the day and am feeling a bit better this morning. I also had a cup of hot tea - Yogi's kombucha. I don't know if that works or not - I fail to see how a tea bag can offer the same benefits? I would assume the probiotics need refrigeration. I have a bottle of GTS Synergy in the fridge for today in case I experience the same thing.

 

Went to crossfit - lots of squatting, which means tired legs today. My plan for today was to do a long run in preparation for my half marathon, but I can not do a long run on tired legs. Took a sailing lesson with my husband yesterday - one thing to note is that I had my M2 pretty early in the day, and didn't get home from sailing to dinner at 8pm. In the past, I'd be ravenous by 5 or 6, but I felt no hunger yesterday.

 

The Paleo Solution is a great read. I got both this book and ISWF from the library, but I think I should own a copy of one - if I ever feel myself slipping into unhealthy habits, I feel like these books will help keep me on the right path.

 

Yesterday's meals:

 

M1: chicken apple sausage, mashed butternut squash with cinnamon, coffee

M2: 2 hard boiled eggs, more butternut squash, coffee

M3: 1.5 grilled chicken thighs, kale salad, kombucha

 

I have a friend in town today and we'll be hanging out at a local water park. I'll need to check their policy on leaving - my thinking was we could go out to lunch at Chipotle (gotta double check that their carnitas are still compliant) and then head back to the park.

 

Today's planned meals:

 

M1: 2.5 green eggs (scrambled eggs blended with baby spinach), coffee

M2: carnitas salad at chipotle

M3: leftover grilled chicken, chinese cabbage, 2 pickles, 1/2 bottle GTS Synergy Strawberry Kombucha, chamomile tea before bed

[Physibeth]

Welcome back! I hope you find great results and health benefits this round as well as some lasting change when you start riding your own bike post Whole30. 

 

Looking at the meals you have posted so far you might want to try increasing your portions a bit. You could for sure eat more vegetables and when eggs are your only protein source I suspect 3 or 4 would be appropriate. 

 

Looking forward to following your journey and I'm definitely hear to offer any help you need. My husband is also not on board so I end up cooking separately for him. Luckily he does support me doing this, just doesn't want to join me. Happy to give any advice on making the split household easier for you.

[bpxdomino]

Thanks for the support Physibeth! Fortunately, I do not need to cook anything separately for my husband, and he is very good about not bringing noncompliant foods home. If it weren't for the fact that he is enrolled in night classes where dinner is provided, he'd probably be 90% whole 30 right now. (What they give him at his class is usually the worst kind of fare - pizza, pasta, etc. Drives me crazy!)

 

No stomach aches today, and no hunger either.

 

Where I do have some stress is that I just finished Robb Wolf's chapter about sleep. Who the heck can get 9 hours of sleep in a day? Apparently all of this healthy eating is for naught if I can't get at least 8... and that's tough for me to do since I wake up at 4:52 to get to a 5:30 crossfit class. That means I'd have to go to bed while it's still kind of light out here (at least for the next week or so). My husband doesn't get home from his night class until 9pm, and I'd like to see him for a few minutes before bedtime!

 

Trying to de-stress about this by having a cup of chamomile tea now, but now I'm worried I'm going to have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and further reduce my quality sleep!

 

Also stressed about it being Sunday and back to work tomorrow after a great long weekend. I think having some time off really helped me get a good streak going here on the W30.

[bpxdomino]

Good morning, Day 6. Yeah - that good mood and energy I was feeling? Totally gone. All I can think about right now is how much I want a nap. I knew the good moods wouldn't last... I had also forgotten to take into account that I was starting the W30 with a long weekend to look forward to. Back to work today, without any holidays or planned time off until September.

Didn't wake up for crossfit and didn't roll out of bed until closer to 6:30 this morning. I'm rethinking this goal of mine to get up for 21 days straight at 5am. I really do want to make it a habit in order to make it easy for myself to be in this routine - but I just read in The Paleo Solution about how 8-9 hours of sleep is optimal, and anything else wreaks havoc on the system and pretty much undoes all of the healthy eating I'm doing.

And when you wake up in the middle of the night (which I did twice - once to go to the bathroom and once about an hour before the alarm clock went off), that's problematic. I went to bed at 9:30 after reading this (after drinking a cup of chamomile tea to help put me right to sleep), but with the wake-ups, still didn't hit 8 hours. I was doomed to fail when my alarm clock didn't go off at 4:52 (it did, but somehow the volume was turned down) - my husband's did go off at 5am, but that point is too late for me. If I don't snap out of bed to walk the dog, I don't get up.

I will try going to bed at 9:30 tonight, but having tea at 8:30 to see if I do better tomorrow. Also, is it possible that chamomile makes you a bit groggy? Anyway, I have to be easy on myself for this 5am goal until I figure out the right formula for perfect sleep.

Here I am 2 hours later and still feeling sleepy. Also slightly headache-y. The official W30 timeline does say Day 6-7 = "I could use a nap" so I won't despair that this will last too long.

 

This morning is pretty mild outside - I'm considering going for a run later today since I didn't get crossfit in.

Today's Meal Plan:

M1: 2 hard boiled eggs, bit of mango, baby spinach, 2 cups coffee, cup of coconut water

M2: leftover chicken, salad with balsamic, 2 pickles, sprouted almond butter, Kit's organic date bar. (This was a bit much. I think I'll need to up my breakfast to 3 eggs tomorrow, or change back to a chicken apple sausage.)

 

M3: leftover chicken, salad with balsamic 1/2 bottle GTS Synergy strawberry kombucha. (i know, lack of veggies at dinner, but I just didn't feel up to it)

[Physibeth]

Yes 8-9 hours of sleep is optimal and it is a good goal to shoot for. Stressing over it won't help though and getting 6-7 hours of sleep won't undo all your eating work. I know Melissa has a rule about not going to the gym unless she gets at least 6 hours of sleep and that is a good one. Rest is really more important than training if you have to choose one or the other. 

[bpxdomino]

Day 7 in the books - closing with a cup of chamomile tea (early enough so it doesn't wake me up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom hopefully!)

 

PWO: hard boiled egg

 

M1: chicken apple sausage, bit of mango, baby spinach, 2 cups coffee, cup of coconut water

 

M2: Homemade chicken soup, salad with balsamic, mandarin orange

 

M3: leftover chicken thigh, sauteed chinese cabbage, 2 pickles, chamomile tea

 

Made it to Crossfit this morning - yes, even though I didn't get 8-9 hours sleep last night. Hovered around 7, but tried not to let it stress me too much.

 

I was definitely able to plow through a crazy morning with extreme focus (usually, by 11 I am looking for an excuse to go get that cup of coffee. and maybe something sugary). Plus, lunch maintained me until I could eat at 8pm again. Usually, I'm ravenous when I walk in the door from work (and on a typical day, I get home at 6, not 8!)

 

Today was a much better day overall - no nap needed, great focus at work, didn't overeat at all. But there's too many variables for me to determine what made the difference today.

 

- Was it the extra protein in the morning (egg AND chicken apple sausage)?

- Was it the fact that I got a good start on my day with a workout?

- Was it the fact that I did not drink chamomile tea last night?

- Was it my environment? (Work from home yesterday vs. in the office today)

 

On a different topic, I've been doing my W30 with conventional meats and some organic meat - but haven't really made grass-fed/free range/omega 3 enriched/yada yada a priority. However, Robb Wolf has me convinced that this needs to be a priority - I must vote with my dollar! But trying to figure out how to work it into the budget. I am doing research on all of my local grocery stores to see what the prices on various meats/fish/eggs/fats are to make a plan. The stores I'm looking at are (in order of proximity to my home):

 

Stop and Shop

Shop Rite

Whole Foods

Costco

Wegmans

Trader Joe's

 

I hear Trader Joe's is likely the winner (Costco might be for some things like coconut oil... they just don't carry a lot of the stuff I'm looking for), but the only problem is the nearest one is 30 minutes away. Still, might be worth making a trip once a month to stock up.

[bpxdomino]

Good morning, day 8! Already feeling pretty good about how it's started, despite two very strange dreams last night:

 

Dream 1 - Something went horribly awry at the dentist

Dream 2 - My husband offered me a slice of pizza and I ate it without thinking twice

 

So - waking up and realizing I had not actually eaten pizza was good news to wake up to! I reviewed my old logs to try to find out when weird dreams started occurring, and it wasn't until about day 11 - and even then, none were food related until about day 24.

 

Other good things about this morning:

 

- Woke up for crossfit at 5am. Actually, I was up earlier, but I took Robb Wolf's suggestion and covered my alarm clock so no artificial light was in the room. I had no idea what time I actually woke up, but when the alarm went off, I effortlessly got out of bed!

- When I realized it was day 8, I gave myself a pat on the back - my last "2nd attempt" at a whole 30 ended on day 7.

 

I had another observation while re-reading my 1st whole 30 log to try to compare the dream issue - I had frequently complained about waking up early, but had also suggested to myself "Imagine what I could get done in a day if I wake up at 5am!" And now I've made it a personal goal to become a morning workout person - and find that what I'm accomplishing is just a happier lifestyle, as I know have stress-free evenings to cook healthy dinners, read, occasionally have a date with my husband... when I really get it down pat, I'll start working on that book I've always wanted to write!

 

Planned meals for the day:

 

PWO: hard boiled egg

M1: chicken apple sausage, spinach, mango, coconut water, coffee (redundant, but i wanted to use up the last of the mango)

M2: chicken soup, hard boiled egg, snap peas, coffee

M3: chicken apple sausage, broccoli, pickle, tea

[bpxdomino]

Early on day 10 today, but wanted to make sure I recorded Day 9 before I forget.

 

It was kind of a "meh" day. Didn't sleep well the night before (I consistently wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night) and then skipped out on my workout. I missed the "effortless" waking up I had the day before. And I was feeling a little bit off - bloated, but not sure why - maybe 2 is too many sausages for one day? Maybe it's the broccoli? Or perhaps it's just the timeline working it's magic - after all, day 9 is a 'tight pants' day.

 

My husband and I had a dinner date last night - he participates as a "secret shopper" and had a shop at a local restaurant. I checked the menu before agreeing to go, and found something I figured I could modify to be compliant. It was still going to be a good test though, as the shop required him to purchase alcohol, an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert. He was on his own for most of that - he ended up boxing up most of the appetizer and half his entree to go, but I had to pass up sharing with him soft pretzels served with a cheese sauce AND a warm baked cookie with vanilla ice cream for dessert.

 

Truthfully - it wasn't hard. He couldn't finish the cookie and debated taking it home, and I told him it's not worth saving - he could enjoy it in the moment, and to remember he wasn't actually paying for his meal.

 

The meal I ended up having was simple - steak on a salad with tomatoes and green bell peppers. It was ok, until I found a bug in it. Lost my appetite.

 

 

I had to stop at CVS on the way home after dinner to pick up a few things, and got a coupon for a bag of almonds (and they were on sale!) Nuts I know to be problematic for me, but I bought them anyway - and, feeling a bit dissatisfied from dinner - opened them in the car. I ate WAY too many on the ride home, which certainly impacted how I was feeling this morning when I woke up. When I got home, I asked my husband to hide the almonds from me - only to be used when I need them for a recipe in the future, not for snacking.

 

I also continued my research on grassfed/pastured/etc. with a stop at Shop Rite last night, but I couldn't find anything - just organic. I'm going to try a different Shop Rite tomorrow just in case I'm missing something. Seems odd they wouldn't have anything. They so far have the best price on wild caught salmon, though.

 

M1: 2.5 eggs with spinach, 2 cups of coffee
M2: chicken soup, broccoli, applesauce, tea
M3: Steak salad, way too many almonds

[MissWolvie]

Hi Nicole, congratulations on making it to Day 10! You sound quite like me - trying to accomplish too much at once Try not to beat yourself up with your 5am starts, you're already taking on the Whole30 after all. Also like me, you're sticking to the same meals and maybe not enough food, veggies especially. Try to up your veggie intake and be kind to yourself!

[bpxdomino]

Thanks for the support MissWolvie! I don't feel like I'm beating myself up too much - at least, much tamer on myself in comparison to how I used to be!

 

So day 10 is coming to a close - yay for being in the double digits! I woke up feeling yucky because of the almonds, so I decided to work out in a fasted state (I know a PWO is recommended by Whole 30, but Robb Wolf seems to think this is ok). And I RX'd my first WOD at crossfit! Ok, so did everyone else (was an easier WOD), but still feels good Had a productive day at work, and then stopped at Costco to continue my research - nothing there in the way of grassfed/etc., but it will be my stop for Coconut Oil and wild salmon.

 

Question 1. The type of wild salmon I eat - does it matter? King seems pricier than sockeye, but silverbrite is cheap as heck at shoprite! I'm sure someone else has asked this in the forums, so I'll browse around.

 

Question 2. I also found dried figs at Costco and have never had one, so I bought them. I am not a fan. Any suggestions as to recipes I might want to incorporate them into?

 

I finished the paleo solution, and read that I should be taking much more fish oil than I have been. So I'm logging it here for now - my plan is to scale back on the supplements once I have my omegas from dietary sources in order - I'll cook up the salmon I bought at costco this weekend. I also found this groupon deal today and made an order to arrive on Tuesday - omegas from grass fed meat!

 

http://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-usda-choice-steak-and-burger-bundles-from-homeland-steaks-0

 

Lastly - a point of contention between me and my husband. A friend is having a bbq tonight, but I decided it is best for me not to go - now is not the right time. He pouted a little bit, and I explained to him that I'm on the verge of making real change and that this bbq is the perfect storm for me to derail - people I don't know (getting over my social anxiety disorder... slowly), lots of wine, and junk food. It's just like what ruined my 2nd attempt at a Whole 30 back in April - only it was a bbq that WE hosted on day 7. I ate compliantly, up until a point where i was surrounded by brownies, cookies, booze... and my social anxiety kicked in, and I gave in. I could use last night's victory at the restaurant as a signal that I'm stronger this time, especially with the wisdom of ISWF and Robb Wolf fresh in mind. But why risk it?

M1: 2.5 eggs with spinach, coffee, 1600 mg fish oil
M2: soup, salad with balsamic, applesauce, coffee, 1600 mg fish oil
M3: chicken apple sausage, sauteed kale and sensopai  with oregano, 2 dried figs, tea, 600 mg fish oil

[bpxdomino]

Day 11 - happy that it was a low key Saturday, but nothing too exciting to speak of here. Woke up at 5:30, had a nice easy morning, went to Crossfit (and did my first wall walk!), then treated myself to a mani/pedi. Since Trader Joe's was near the manicurist, I stopped in to finish my research. Looks like I'll be making use of Wegmans as my primary grocery store (only due to proximity) with Trader Joe's and Costco each a monthly stop. I do want to check a few more things at Shop Rite tomorrow, though.

 

I opted out of a PWO this morning - since I was up early enough, I had a full breakfast, and then just ate my lunch right after my workout. But then I was pretty hungry around 3 when I came home, so I had some pickles.

 

M1: chicken apple sausage with mashed butternut squash and cinnamon, coffee, 1600mg fish oil

M2: chicken soup, coffee, 1600 mg fish oil

Snack - 2 pickles

M3: hamburger, kohlrabi salad, 2 dried figs, 600 mg fish oil, tea

 

kohlrabi is a very strange vegetable that happened to come in my CSA this week. My CSA is a source of annoyance - I was hoping my $28 each week would get me a week's worth of veggies, but it's not working out that way. Hence the reason I'm swinging by Shop Rite tomorrow to make sure I have enough on hand to eat this week. Lots of yummy recipes planned, though, including:

 

http://blog.stuffimakemyhusband.com/2012/09/make-ahead-salmon-with-green-beans.html

http://www.madeinnature.com/recipe/squash-and-fig-stew/

http://paleomg.com/4th-july-spinach-artichoke-dip/

[bpxdomino]

Ending day 12 with a Redbox movie with my husband (Nonstop with Liam Neeson). Another productive, low key day. Woke up at 5:30 for a run and wanted to give it a try in a fasted state. There seems to be conflicting advice between Robb Wolf's Paleo Solution and ISWF - Robb recommends working out on an empty stomach, so I thought I'd skip my PWO today. Really struggled with the run, but I don't want to suggest failure after one day of trying. I don't believe I'm 'fat-adapted' yet. Tomorrow will be a rest day from working out, so another chance to test it will come on Tuesday.

 

Did some work around the house. I think one of the things that has helped me the most over the last 12 days is dedicating some time to guided visualization. I have actually tried hypnosis through YouTube, but this app really resonates with me:

 

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/eat-healthy-hypnosis-free/id687270157?mt=8

 

I find myself looking at baked goods and instantly my mind clicks on "I don't eat like that anymore." It's definitely supporting my change.

 

Swung by my local Shop Rite and realized there are big price differences between the one near me and the one I went to a few days ago. Or else prices shifted dramatically since then, which could be a possibility - new week means new sales! Still, I think Trader Joe's and Wegmans will be my go to grocery stores (but still finding really cheap prices on fish at Shop Rite).

 

Speaking of - I could not get the skin off of my fish tonight, so I couldn't make the "Once a Month Cooking" Whole 30 meal I posted yesterday as directed. After I did all the work and popped it in the oven, I realized I had a filet knife. I have NEVER used this knife before. Oh well, learning opportunity for next time. I hope it still comes out edible.

 

M1: 3 eggs, kale, coffee, 1600 mg fish oil

M2: chicken apple sausage, mashed butternut squash w/coconut and coconut oil, Bubbie's kraut, coffee, 600 mg fish oil

M3: salmon with fire roasted tomatoes and green beans, tea

[createdbyrisa]

I'm kicking off my first W30 tomorrow and reading the forums for inspiration! I also have a hubby who is not on board and I know at times that will be a challenge. But I am feeling very determined and focused!

 

Good for you for plowing thru 12 days! I look forward to following your progress!

[Jill_L]

Hi Nicole,

 

Just stopping in to say "hi" and that I've read and enjoyed your posts.  I too have a husband who doesn't believe this is a necessary or worthwhile endeavor.  He tries to support me, but I need conversation with those who are doing what I'm doing.  How can he understand what I'm thinking/feeling when we are in the middle of a TV show and he gets up to make himself a strawberry shortcake and offers me strawberries?  ('Cause he knows I won't eat the biscuit or the cream.)  I also am not eating after dinner, but he isn't into this, so he just doesn't get it.  His comment last night - "You can't even eat strawberries?"  How is that helpful, I wonder?  

 

Anyway, didn't mean to rant on about that, but it's a fact.  I need support from other places, and you said the same thing.  

 

Let's keep going!!  

 

(Do you think the Kombucha might be keeping/waking you up at night?  I decided I needed to drink it earlier in the day.)

 

Jill

[bpxdomino]

Hey there! Thanks for your comments and support! I'm just hoping that - some point down the road, after I've ingrained these healthy habits - there will be enough physically and mentally different about me that he takes note and starts following my lead. In the meantime, I am grateful that he eats what I cook and doesn't bring junk into the house - could be worse!

 

I don't think kombucha is keeping me awake, as I really have only had it once or twice since starting. I wonder if I just need to stop drinking water before bedtime, but I can't help it. Like to stay hydrated. I have stopped drinking tea at least one hour before, but still waking up!

[bpxdomino]

Day 13. Woke up in a fairly good mood for a Monday! Even though it was a planned day off from crossfit, I still rolled out of bed bright and early and had a nice, easy start to my day before logging in for work.

 

Unfortunately, had a bit of a binge. Those almonds and larabars I asked my husband to hide from me back on Day 10? He didn't hide them so well! I found them on my way into the basement to do a load of laundry. I didn't think anything of it when I found them, but I should have locked them away somewhere because today I was ravenous at lunch time. I had been eating Aidells's chicken apple sausage for breakfast frequently over the last week, but switched to Wegmans organic italian chicken sausage - a smaller, less hardy link. I figured I'd be fine, especially since I didn't work out this morning. But no.. way too hungry in the afternoon... so, after I ate my planned M2, I continued to eat almonds and a larabar.

 

Once again, solidifying my belief that almonds or nuts of any sort do not belong in my house. At least for now. Hopefully I didn't ruin my appetite for dinner.

 

M1: Chicken sausage, mashed butternut squash w/ coconut, coffee, 1600 mg fish oil

M2: Hamburger, roasted zucchini, Bubbie's kraut, 600 mg fish oil... almonds and larabar... coffee

M3 (planned): salmon with fire roasted tomatoes and green beans, tea

[bpxdomino]

Day 15 is actually Day 0. A lesson in vigilance.

 

Yesterday didn't end well for me. I continued to seek out food, and found a jar of pickles that my husband purchased for me at the farmer's market last week. I ate a lot of them, because I was too consumed in binge mode to care about the ingredients.

 

Then I figured I should find out - went to the pickle maker's website and asked the question.

 

Corn Syrup.

 

Son of a #!@BT.

 

It looks like I'll need to start over, but I don't feel too disappointed. After all, I would really prefer to just make this a way of life. My plan was to try to do a Whole 50 before my birthday which I won't be able to do now - but I can still get 30 days in there (with some new lessons learned) and enjoy my glass of wine when my bday rolls around. And a pickle binge is very different from a cookie binge.

 

Well, in theory it's different, but I still felt like crap this morning - managed to sleep soundly through the night (no waking up to pee!) and woke up on time to get to crossfit, but I just felt bloated and gross, so I skipped. Back in the routine for tomorrow.

[bpxdomino]

Day 3. As I sort of start over here, I wonder if there are any changes to the "timeline" given that I was compliant for so long? Stupid pickles.

 

Yesterday was a very rough day for me and didn't have a moment to reflect. It was chaos - didn't wake up to get to the gym. There was no reason for me not to get up – I actually slept through the night (well, I’ll take waking up at 4:20 over waking up at 2am), and I seemed to be pretty alert. I’m not sure what it was that drove me back under the covers. It didn't feel like anything was going my way at work, and then I needed to zip over to a board meeting right after at a restaurant that I didn't want to eat at so that I could get back on track with my whole 30. Unfortunately, the board meeting was supposed to be over at 8 but took much longer - so I was hungry and irritable. All I could think was I'm going to be eating dinner too late and I'm not going to be able to fall asleep which means I'm going to miss out on Crossfit in the morning again. And my dog is going to pee in the house.

 

Well, my dog held it (he's a good boy!), I ate dinner by 9, and got to bed on time. Woke up at 4 again this morning (still don't understand why this happens).

 

So I was up in time for crossfit and almost talked myself out of going, but I powered through! And so glad I did too.. today just felt so much better than yesterday. I felt great after my workout, I wore a pair of pants today that haven't fit me in 5 months (they were still a little snug, but I really wanted to wear them!), and work was so much better today!

 

Part of me wonders if this is a “create your own destiny” scenario – am I having a better day simply because the wheels were set in motion from the very beginning? So if I exercise everyday first thing in the AM, does that improve my mood throughout the day to where I focus on everything that is positive about life?

 

Anyway, spent the evening cleaning/chopping/prepping this week's haul from the CSA. About to finish off the Butternut squash/fig stew and thinking I need to find a new use for these figs. I am not a fan.

 

M1: 1 chicken apple sausage, 1 egg, mashed butternut squash, coffee, 600 mg fish oil
M2: Stew, mashed cauliflower, bubbie’s kraut, coffee, 1600 mg fish oil
M3: Stew. Tea. 600 mg fish oil

[bpxdomino]

Didn't check in yesterday, but it was a pretty uneventful Day 4. Got up for crossfit, was highly productive at work, then curled up on the couch with a movie from Redbox with my husband. He grilled up the steaks I got from the Groupon deal a few days ago from Grassland Steaks - not bad.

 

M1: 2.5 eggs, coconut oil, kale, 2 cups coffee, 600 mg fish oil
M2: Chipotle carnitas salad
M3: 4 oz sirloin, kohlrabi salad, tea

 

Today - Day 5 - is much more exciting. I think it warrants some bullets:

 

• Rolled out of bed at 6 - walked the dog, got my guided hypnosis on, threw a chicken in the slow cooker, and had my M1 of leftover steak and butternut squash.
• Went to crossfit and got a thumbs up from the world's toughest couch on my form!! I didn't expect that!
• Got a hair cut - lookin good!
• Finished Dan Brown's "Inferno" - awesome book.
• Put together a pretty solid plan for my interview on Thursday (I'm being considered for a promotion)
• Went to the movies with my husband tonight to see the new Planet of the Apes movie - which was awesome! - and I'm proud of myself for forgoing the popcorn and soda that came complimentary with my ticket. I didn't even miss it.
• Came home and ate my delicious slow cooked chicken and zucchini!

 

M1: Leftover Steak, mashed butternut squash with cinnamon, coffee, 600 mg fish oil
M2: Leftover Steak, roasted zucchini, coconut oil, coffee, 600 mg fish oil
M3: Chicken, roasted zucchini, 600 mg fish oil, tea

 

I have a long run on the schedule for my workout in preparation for races in the fall  - but I'll probably switch it out for some speed work on the track. We're going to try to go to a baseball game tomorrow afterwards. I'm a little bit worried at how I'm going to handle Yankee Stadium ballpark fare. Guess I should just ride the momentum of a successful popcorn-avoidance tonight at the movies.

[bpxdomino]

It's a new Day 1.

 

It wasn't even being at the ballpark yesterday that derailed me. No, I actually had a great day there. After my speed work on the track yesterday, I had my M1: a full 6 or 7 oz sirloin with mashed butternut squash and cinnamon. Ate at about 8am and rode the satiety all the way through the baseball game. Had a reasonable dinner (Thai Chicken lettuce wraps) and then... dug into my husband's leftover cracker jacks when we got home.

 

Why?!

 

I'm struggling pretty hard today, also. My eating - while W30 compliant - is certainly out of whack compared to how I ate and felt last week. I'm battling with myself right now, suffering intense cravings for a sweet treat. It took a lot of willpower not to run out for ice cream. It started with coconut date rolls at lunch (I think dates need to be off limits for the rest of my W30) - just had a half can of pineapple now. I'm wondering if I should put myself to bed before anything goes awry, as I'm now at the point where I can NOT make any more mistakes if I want to complete a full W30 before my birthday.

 

M1: chicken apple sausage, mashed butternut squash w/ coconut and cinnamon, coffee, 2000 mg fish oil

M2: chicken soup, Bubbie's kraut, kale salad w/ balsamic, coconut date rolls, 2000 mg fish oil

M3: chicken soup, 1 egg, 1/2 can pineapple and shredded coconut, coconut milk chai (i know, light on the veggies here)

 

Gonna white knuckle it through the rest of the evening in hopes for a more even keel day tomorrow.

[Kmlynne]

You can do this!  Just look at the last week as "practice".  It is hard when you are craving things.  That sugar dragon is really hard to kill!