Did you find yourself sweeter and kinder after Whole30 reintro?

[MeadowLily]

I wanted what he had.

You have to want food addiction recovery more than you need it. Just going through the motions of any diet or food protocol won't fix addiction.

You have to engage your brain along with the process and your body and your spirit.

So I sought out someone who could show me The Way. I followed that trail like a hound. I was on it every single day.

I had to become a weedwhacker. Whacking down weeds, cutting down the underbrush and pulling the dross out of my head.  That creates a vacuum.  So I had to fill that back up with Truth.

It's going to take more than one conversation with yourself each and every day.  It's going to take sitting down with someone. Face-to-Face.  Facing the truth about yourself and pulling every root out.

Pulling out that root rot in your brain that's been in there since the day you started binge or thrill eating.

The reasons may not be clear and your memory may be clouded in your bulletproof coffee but your spirit doesn't forget anything.

Your spirit can remember the very day and hour that nightmare began to make your life a living hail.

They say you have to forgive yourself. You have to choose to forgive others by an act of your will.  Left to your own devices, your brain can't forgive anything. 

Your ability to forgive is in your spirit. By an act of my will,  I will myself to forgive. This doesn't mean you have to lay down on the floor and be the carpet. Ooooo, nooo. 

You forgive and move on.  Sometimes you can forgive from afar but most days, you set your will and forgive those standing right in your pathway to healing.  Ayup. 

It's a daily exercise. A daily reprieve contingent on the Maintenance of a Spiritual Condition.

[MeadowLily]

There are all kinds of hunger. A broken spirit along with broken satiety cues doesn't require extra special ingredients and breaking your food budget.

You can't find everything you need at the grocery store. So I go back to the well and dig deep for my answers.

I prefer this over digging much deeper holes for myself.

Bee a Post Whole Digger vs. a post-hole-digger.

 

 

[MeadowLily]

There are all kinds of pesky. Tourists.

I went to the grocery store today and everything was already picked clean like a plucked chicken. The produce was gone.

Some do come here and they are on their worst behavior. They're on a vacay and are impolite guests. It gives me a really big pinch. Yes. It does.

I was there just a few days ago and they were right up on the bison.  Taking it right up to the razor's edge. That's nothing new and no matter how many warnings and brochures, the heart wants what it wants. 

They want to reach out and touch the wildlife. Many believe this nothing but a zoo. The half has not been told of the things we've witnessed. Their heads are filled with dross from too many TV programs.

[MeadowLily]

Food addiction is not a weight loss problem.

Addiction is the inability to understand the nature of the risk.

[MeadowLily]

Food Addiction Recovery Talking Cure =

Along with the inability to weigh the risks is the inability to handle inner conflict, worry, anxiety, stress that drives you to the addiction in the first place.

Giving yourself permission to get things off your mind and chest is a way to get in touch with your innermost being and subconscious thinking, mind, brain.

There are all kinds of talking cures.

When you talk about your problems out loud, speaking to the mountain - you can come UP with all kinds of solutions that were not made available to you by just shoving your emotions down with more food rewards.

 

[MeadowLily]

It's way too easy to become a looper. Trapped in your own biases and faulty thinking and self-deception.

Food addicts, any addict makes excuses and stays stuck for years in massive rationalization. You can hear it in their words.  Out of the abundance of your heart your mouth is doing all of the speaking. The Truth will find you out.

When you're so numbed out from eating all the things, chronically rewarding yourself with food every frickity frick frick day - you may not even know what's really bothering you.

It is only by talking to someone - Face-to-Face, that you can gain insight where the real source of the trouble begins and continues to exist.

In addiction recovery, we are only as sick as our secrets.

[MeadowLily]

The Talking Cure is highly therapeutic.

Heckatoot, I've been blathering and foaming at the mouth for over 3 years now.  You would probably think that's there's nothing left to say, wouldn't you?

You're sooooo vain, you probably think this song is about you, don't you, don't you?  Ooooo, that's just the way my brain works.  I don't listen to the music, I listen through the music for my answers.  It's all fun. Really.

[MeadowLily]

While milling around and just shooting the breeze with the Universe, some alarming things have come out of my heart.

I can look back now and some were cringeworthy. When you sit down and talk with someone that you can really trust, be prepared to hear things that you would never dream of telling anyone.

Trained listeners are lovely. They listen without making moral judgments about you. The aim is not to tell you what to do but allow you to find your own solutions.

That might really marsh your mellow. Addicts are drawn like moths to the flame to master controllers. They choose master controllers for partners and mates, friends and foes.  They want to be told what to do while they pretend they're actually in control but that would be a bunch of hooey.

You can't fake it 'til you make it in recovery.

You are going to have to pull the dross out of your head.

Until you do, you will live to repeat your history and addictive behavior over and over and over again.

Starting over and over and over won't fix anything.

Today could be the day that you make one decision, that's all it takes, to STOP doing that destructive thing you've been doing to yourself. 

One day. One decision.

 

 

[MeadowLily]

Oooo, the addict and the master controller are addicted to one another. They enable each other. 

The master controller cannot control anything in their own life so they want to control yours, too. The master controller is destructive to the addict. As you tool along, you will be able to see them more clearly. 

They want you to worship at their feet and kiss their hiney. You don't have to.  Run, Felicias, Run.

When you no longer allow yourself to be under their thumb and rule, they will explode with anger. 

Got highly reactive vs. reflective? There's your sign.  They need healing, too.  But they're usually too proud to go for help. You choose, you decide.

Are you going to allow them to take you out, down for the count or are you going to survive. That usually means surviving without them.  It's hard for the addict to give up the Pusher and the Master Controllers.

Don't be scared. Be prepared. For the potshots that will be taken from across the bow.  Yes, they're highly reactive to you and everything you do will give them a great big pinch.

It's just the nature of addiction. You learn these things be eating alot of dirt sandwiches made out of pinecones, dirt, grass clippings and old tennis shoes.

[MeadowLily]

There are two kinds of pain. The kind that hurts you and the kind that changes you.

There will be days when you're all blathery and foamy but I'm not snackity.  Noooo, I may be snarkalicious but I'm not eating all the things for more self-punishment. A-Nope.

[MeadowLily]

 

“Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment.” 
― Drew Carey

I'm going now. I've shored myself UP so I don't meander outside of my normal river banks.

Does it take all this?  Ayup. 

This is what happens when you allow food addiction or any addiction to run roughshod over you for years.  It progresses with time and age. It gets stronger and the food rewards become more destructive. 

STOP. In the name of love for yourself. You don't want to let it go. 

I could leave. I've tried but then I would miss myself. It makes me cry.  Your folkaronies become worn out with your blather. They can't handle this much talking cure. So just know that going forward.  You're going to have to talk yourself  back from the brink on many days. You are in for the fight of your life. It's a wildcat, a panther. 

You have to take the tiger out of the cage 3 x aday to eat.  Wild Thing. Really.

The first pressing is a thing of beauty.

Light My Fire, Felicias.

 

[MeadowLily]

Sturgis Week

 

 

[MeadowLily]

Food addiction is not a weight loss problem.

Addiction is the inability to understand the nature of the risk.

Life will not be a walk in the Park for those who want to remain food sober or alcohol sober, gambling sober, impulsive shopping sober, smoking sober, compulsive housecleaning sober, hoarding pets sober....

[MeadowLily]

Food Sober comes with daily trials and tribs, roadblocks, challenges on a repeat basis.

Impatience with the process is the biggest obstacle.

Sit down with someone. Face-to-Face

Take stock of yourself and create routines. Some order out of that chaos must be imposed. You can't fly by the seat of your pants.

Joy comes in the morning and every day is a fresh start.

Clear the decks and clean the slate.

[MeadowLily]

Food addiction is not a weight loss competition.

Trying to rush things so you can be in first place won't help you. There are no crowns for food addiction recovery prom queen.

Food addiction recovery = making the rough places smooth and the crooked places straight.

Pride comes before the fall.

Don't get so full of yourself that you think you have completely cracked it. Don't get so low that all of the dark thoughts along with anxiety, depression only adds to the stress of recovery.

Don't compare yourself to anyone else's recovery. Be prepared and not scared.

Recovery is hard work. It's going to test you to your limits.

The only way to overcome a food addiction is to work hard at it on a daily basis.

[MeadowLily]

There will be no holiday from beating food addiction or any addiction. There's no such thing as the Finish Line.

There will be reward but it won't be food rewards.

Your reward will come in the form of the progress you are making.  Day by day and year by year.

[MeadowLily]

Food Addiction Recovery = Learning to look after yourself.

No one else is going to do it for you.  No one.

There might not ever be anyone in your small corner of the world pulling you UP day by day.  This will be tough and it will take everything you've got to learn to look after and care about yourself.

At the root of addiction is pain. That pain leads to not giving two hoots about yourself. But it is imperative above all that you learn to look after yourself.

Do not hold anything in that is giving you a great big pinch.

[MeadowLily]

Speak openly and honestly with your clinician, doctor, sponsor, counselor...those that are the most dear and near to you.

One day at a time, have a daily plan to deal with the mind warp of food addiction. Plan your meals to get back in the groove and return to your mojo.

Recovery is for those who want it more than need it.

You have to want to recover from food addiction or any addiction with your innermost being. By continuing to stay in touch with your spirit which in turn opens UP a positive frame of mind - you are giving yourself the most excellent chance of beating food addiction and moving in to your life with a renewed sense of hope, faith and joy.

 

 

[MeadowLily]

Relying on food for comfort delays recovery.

Impulsive eating, compulsive overeating, binge and thrill eating leads to complete powerlessness over food and an unmanageable life.

Food Addiction Recovery.  Have the courage and grit to admit that you have a real problem, that you fought and are fighting for your life as you speak to the mountain of food addiction.

Be removed food addiction and cast into the sea, I don't ever want you to return to me. I send you out to the fishes.

[MeadowLily]

There must be some nitwittery along with the recovery process. Remaining Food Sober doesn't mean you have to be sober-sided and sour.  A dry drunk. That's a real term and it happens when you are gutting it out with willpower.

Willpower runs out.

I lurve solar flaring.

Solar Flaring =  The phaaaattt goes splaaattt.

It is solar flared by the sun, never to return again. There must be some encouragement lest your heart  grow weary.

 

 

 

[MeadowLily]

Dcducks went to a fancy schmancy seminar. He taught us about fat releasing, weight releasing vs. losing weight.

If you're all about "losing weight", your brain will help you find it again. I don't ever want to find it again.

Reframe the process into "fat releasing" for the permanent WIN.

You've to got to slingshot that fat into the sun for solar flaring.  The sun will burn it UP and it will be released in the form of energy for all of the peoples and planets in the Universe.

Your fat releasing in the form of solar flaring will grow crops and feed the grass-fed livestock. Now our greatest collective day for solar flaring is coming UP in just 17 days. The total eclipse of the sun is great day to slingshot all of your fat releasing cares out into the Universe.

Release your misery and burdens.  That will create a vacuum that will have to be filled with new constructive habits and faith to carry on.

Don't worry. Be happy. We are bent on survival.

There are those concerned about the total solar eclipse causing a major blowout in my neck of the woods.  They are prognosticating the worst.  Not me. 

I don't believe it for a minute. I have faith.

Just because something happened 1000's and 1000's of years ago doesn't mean we're due or overdue for it to happen again.  Nuh huh.

History does repeat itself but we just don't know when.

No one can predict the future. No one. Ooooo, you may get a glimpse of it here and there but we only know in part.

I plan on being here on August 22nd. I hope you are, too.  Much Love.  Tanto Amore.

[MeadowLily]

Layers of recovery at a snail's pace 

Working to the cadence of my heartbeat

Sweet memories that turned into deflated dreams

Buried my heart with endless food rewards

Motivated by the promise of triumph

Moved by the desire for answers

Reflections on the pathway to healing

 

[MeadowLily]

Your body doesn't like what you've done to it.

It's shouting from the mountaintops but you're not listening.

Your body is rejecting what you keep doing to it.

The body can't deal with that much weight. It's a burden it cannot handle. 

Your feet and knees hurt. You can't get up off the floor without hanging onto a piece of furniture.  Your blood pressure is rising and you have diabetes. Your metabolism is knocking up against the rocks.

Your body doesn't like you.

That's the deeper hole where you will end up if you don't recover from food addiction.  It does not get better, it progresses with intensity and age.

What your body could handle at the age of 18 will no longer work at the age of 30, 40 and beyond. 

The body is your biggest sign that what you are doing is no longer working.

 

[MeadowLily]

Your body doesn't like you.  Truth.

This is where the rubber meets the road.

You can go on making excuses and massive rationalizations for food addiction but your body doesn't like you.

When you reach this point of no return, that pain that you keep inflicting upon your body with chronic food rewards will continue to hurt you or change you.

Choices and Consequences.

You choose. 

Do you want the last half of your life to be better than the first or do you want to cut it down, right to the quick.

We are bent on survival.

Allow your body to be the barometer of what food addiction and binge eating has done to you.  Go to the mirror and take a good look.  It may be painful but you have to do it.

On the first part of this journey, I was a pro at passing by mirrors like a blur.  I can brush my teeth without looking and get dressed and go months and months without ever looking.

If you're doing that, go to the mirror and say...I love you. 

[MeadowLily]

Your mind will taunt you. It will drive you right down into the ground and then sit back at laugh, cry...while it continues to drive, drive, drive you.

Another diet is not a cure for a food addiction.

Food addiction is not a weight loss problem. It's about pain and stress and anxiety and depression =

No peace of mind.  None.