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Loulabelle

A Startling Realisation

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I started my W30 journey at the start of February, did the 30 days then pretty much stuck to the programme only off roading with the occasional glass of wine. This weekend I have deliberately off-roaded, I have  Dr's appointment regarding my now almost non-existent eczema Monday morning and thought I could combine that with testing my reaction to dairy products to see if it comes back. It has. That however is not the big realisation that has hit me today.

 

Yesterday & today I have eaten cheese, butter and some bread, the physical affect has been startling not down to any digestive distress but my belly is bloated and distended. My boyfriend actually asked me if I was feeling OK as it is so huge. The huge realisation for me is the mental feeling that is going with all of this. For the first time in almost three months I feel mentally terrible. My mood is down, I have no energy, I feel heavy and fat and I have a general feeling of apathy. I am today the definition of apathetic. The sun is shining, I went for a bike ride this morning and I have had a wonderful weekend so there is nothing in my life causing this; all I can think of is it is the food I have eaten. Lunch with the neighbours left me quiet and disconnected with them asking if I was feeling OK as quite frankly I would have been happy staying home and being anti-social. 

 

It has got me thinking a l lot about how I used to feel & this is it. I felt like this all the time but it was normal so I never thought anything of it. How can that be normal even though I ate very well previously? Starting the whole 30 only meant removing grains and dairy for me then following the meal templates. So how does those who follow a SAD feel? How are those who eat processed or fast food day in & day out feeling? Is this how society in general feels? Are the majority of people living their lives in a state of morose and apathy with even realising there is another way to be? For me now I have so many questions on where we are as a society, as a collective consciousness, as people who have to live together on this overcrowded planet. We are people poisoning ourselves with food and the majority don't even know it. Is the collective apathy in our society down to consuming grains and chemicals? Is society in effect putting itself to sleep?

 

I know these questions are too big for this forum but I needed to write these thoughts down as part of my personal therapy. There will be no more grains or dairy for me, the affect is too big on my body and my mind. 

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I find this very interesting because I had a similar experinece last month. I bought a loaf of gluten free bread (made with rice flour and buckwheat) to test out for an upcoming motorcycle trip. The end of the week of bread I was depressed, anxious and sad. I was exhausted and felt like my every relationship nerve was on fire.

My husband suggested I test again next month and I said absolutely NOT. I dont need to test it again to know how crappy it made me feel!

Hope you're feeling better, get ye back onto Whole30 asap until you're feeling tops again!

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Thanks LadyShanny, I'm feeling a lot better today than yesterday bit I am still reeling from the unexpectedly high mental & emotional impact of my food choices over the weekend. Today at work my concentration has gone on holiday somewhere away from my brain, I'm finding it exceedingly difficult to concentrate on my project or even remember what I am supposed to be doing. My concentration levels have been so good recently that this is perturbing. I'm really hoping normal service will be resumed quickly now I am back to my now normal way of eating. 

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Thanks LadyShanny, I'm feeling a lot better today than yesterday bit I am still reeling from the unexpectedly high mental & emotional impact of my food choices over the weekend. Today at work my concentration has gone on holiday somewhere away from my brain, I'm finding it exceedingly difficult to concentrate on my project or even remember what I am supposed to be doing. My concentration levels have been so good recently that this is perturbing. I'm really hoping normal service will be resumed quickly now I am back to my now normal way of eating. 

This is exactly how I felt pre whole30 when I made bad (sometimes non-paleo) food choices on my 'treat' day, and is what brought me here in the first place. There are a lot of foods I've no intentions of reintro-ing for this reason. I like that I feel stable & focused. I'm glad to see the back of apathy & that overall feeling of discontent. You truly are what you eat.

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jmcbn do you eat Whole30 all all the time now or do you stick to Paleo? I thought this was going to be a long term lifestyle choice for me and now that I'm sure it is I need to find out what exactly I am happy to eat and what I shall be ditching permanently. W30 suits me but I keep reading here it is not supposed to be long term, it's just for a reset. That is not enough for me now, I need to now think long term. 

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Today is day57 for me. Originally I'd planned on 40 days but then felt that I'd benefit from a bit of a longer reset just to break the bad habits I'd developed, plus I didn't really miss anything that much. My plan now is on day 61 (this Friday) to loosen the ties *a little* and allow myself a little added sugar - but not sugar as an ingredient. So for instance I have a batch of smoked salmon in my freezer that has a little added sugar - I'll eat that, or maybe a pre-packed sauce that has a little added sugar, but I won't be using sugar as an ingredient, or adding it to my coffee.

Milk chocolate, candy & sodas/diet sodas have never been my thing - don't recall when I last had any of them so they're not an issue. I'm fussy about the oils I use, additives, sulphites/sulphates etc anyways so these won't be an issue either. 

 

Dairy I'll re-intro in a few weeks just to see what happens - I'm not hopeful, but I'd like to know what will happen if I have the odd ice cream with my kids, or a dish that has dairy in the sauce, or greek yoghurt  :wub: 

Alcohol I'll re-intro at some point, to be consumed only when the situation is deemed special, and if it's *really* special I may indulge in a few squares of high quality dark chocolate.

I've no plan to re-intro grains of any description, or legumes right now.

So basically going forward my plan is to continue eating whole30 as per the meal templates, but with the possible addition of some added sugar in meats/sauces, and the option to off-road (I'm guessing in a SWYPO dessert kind of way) as and when I believe the situation deserves it. I imagine this will happen maybe once a month tops (most likely less) but I'm not going to write the 'how often' in stone as I may then develop a habit of off-roading just because the calendar says so, which will take me right back to where I was.... I'll also schedule in a number of strict whole7/10/30s throughout the year as & when I feel it's needed.

In short, I'm winging it  :P

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"I'm not going to write the 'how often' in stone as I may then develop a habit of off-roading just because the calendar says so, which will take me right back to where I was.."

 

Some make plans for the "weekend spurge"..."when you can let all of the pressure out".   That's how my relatives put it. Get back to the old grind on Mondays.   These planned splurges are now routines.  

 

Once in awhile, spontaneity is great but too many weekend splurges can add up to letting all of the pressure out and completely sabotaging everything we've learned from the Whole 30.  It's only 30 days and everyone is free to follow their arrow wherever it may lead them.

 

For many -  proteins, vegetables, good dietary fats,  fruits are a normal way of life.  Breads and sugars raise blood sugar and I choose to leave those out.    I'm not a chronic pop chugger and off-roading with weekend splurges would sabotage blood sugars.   So I'll follow my arrow, mind my own weight and leave everyone else out of it....including all of those free spirits in my life who want me to join them for weekend spurges and everyday spontaneity.

 

There's an old saying,  "It's not what you do some of the time but what you do most of the time".  That defines off-roading for me,  some of the time, once in a blue moon, every now and then..special.  It's good common sense.

 

For me, making plans to find substitutes for old favorites would be a return to Groundhog Day and the blood sugar blues.  Gluten free is not my answer.    Every day I'm sugar free is a day I'm really free.

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Some make plans for the "weekend spurge"..."when you can let all of the pressure out".   That's how my relatives put it. Get back to the old grind on Mondays.   These planned splurges are now routines.  

 

Once in awhile, spontaneity is great but too many weekend splurges can add up to letting all of the pressure out and completely sabotaging everything we've learned from the Whole 30.  

^This.

I believe that 5 days on & 2 days off will aggravate the gut & un-do all of the healing that's taken place during the whole30/45/60.... There's not enough time in between splurges to allow the body to recover, and over time the inflammation will build up again. And *every weekend* is developing an unhealthy habit - and an unhealthy relationship with food.

Besides who wants to waken up every Monday feeling depressed, anxious, sad, & exhausted? Mondays are hard enough as it is!

Once in a while, special occasion, every now & then is definitely the way to go.

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I really don't see the point in having weekends off either, it just seems to defeat the purpose. The way I choose to nourish my body is my lifestyle not a Monday to Friday job where I attempt to undo the recklessness of weekend free-styling. I have to figure out a personal balance for me on what I can and can't eat long term now but the experience of last weekend has made that job quite a bit easier. 

 

Thanks you all for your replies, it's good to know I am not alone in this  :)

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To me, with my diet history, 5 days on and then going "off road" has been the story of my life.  For me, there is about a 0% chance that I can just get back to a sugar free diet after two days without major withdrawal and mental cravings.  Sometimes it takes me six months, sometimes a year to really get back to a calm and easy place in my eating once I get too much sugar in me.  I think there are those that don't have a long history of deprivation followed by binges (or minibinges) that could do the weekend off thing, but for those of us with decades of dieting and failure, the eat well for a few days followed by eating poorly for a couple days (or months or years) has been the source of great frustration and failure.  The Whole 30 plan is making more and more sense to me as a potential way out from this very demoralizing pattern.   

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^This.

I believe that 5 days on & 2 days off will aggravate the gut & un-do all of the healing that's taken place during the whole30/45/60.... There's not enough time in between splurges to allow the body to recover, and over time the inflammation will build up again. And *every weekend* is developing an unhealthy habit - and an unhealthy relationship with food.

Besides who wants to waken up every Monday feeling depressed, anxious, sad, & exhausted? Mondays are hard enough as it is!

Once in a while, special occasion, every now & then is definitely the way to go.

This is an interesting point.  I'm only on day 8 of my first W30, but I never had any intention of this being a permanent way of eating.  I had been thinking that I might continue in on weekdays and eat what I want on weekends.  (I still might).  But you ring up an interesting reason for not doing it.  But I would have to feel pretty incredibly amazing in 22 more days to give up the things I enjoy eating/drinking (and to convince my wife that she needs to keep cooking like this.)  Thanks for the thought, it is has my brain cranking...in what direction, who knows.

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Wesb -- Before the weekend arrives and you go off plan! 

 

The plan was never intended to be a permanent way of eating. And you don't have to give up the things you enjoy eating and drinking. It's meant to be a 30 day experience, so it's only 30 days of eating this way and 30 days of 'giving up' foods you enjoy. 

 

No, wait! You're 10 days in now, so only 20 days of eating this way and 20 days of 'giving up' the foods you enjoy!!

 

You're only 10 days in, and you're already looking at the door to leave? Why you decided to do the Whole30 and what you hoped to gain from it are your personal reasons, but reflect back on those before you open that exit door. On day 1 this was important enough to you to get started, maybe revisit those reasons and feelings?

 

Also, at only 10 days you've yet to realize that perhaps some of those foods you enjoy eating and drinking aren't likewise enjoyed by your body. There are many many stories in these forums telling how a Whole30-er thought a food was agreeable for them, but learned it really wasn't. For me, it wasn't until I gave up gluten that I realized it's NOT normal to burp up foods after eating and be bloated and gassy after a meal! After learning that and testing it a few times, I have no trouble AT ALL 'giving up' the burping, gas and bloating. No trouble at all. 

 

My advice? Stay the course! 

Lucie

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Thanks Lucie.  Sorry I wasn't clear.  Yes, I was talking about how to live after the whole30.  I'm not going to cheat while on it.  I was (and am) trying to plan ahead for how to eat after the 30 days are up.  I don't want to go back to how I was eating before.  But I'm also not willing to eat like this 90+% of the time.  That's the experience from others I came to the forums looking for.  It seems that most people I'm seeing believe that you should eat like this 99% of the time.  Maybe I just havne't found the others who are living a little more balanced diet.

 

I am very intruiged to see what/if foods have an effect on me like you mentioned.  I guess it will mostly come down to personal experience as to where I go from here.    I did buy both books about the time I got on the forum, so maybe there's more thought there as to a balanced lifestyle.  Thanks again!

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