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aaevk

Strating reintroduction... Scones and scared, but mostly scones

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I am on day 30 and I am kind of dreading/terrified for the next few days. Here is what is contributing to this:

 

1.     PHYSICAL/MENTAL: I am in NYC visiting a family I used to nanny for. Their house is FILLED TO THE BRIM with sugar and processed treats. Oreos, Goldfish, Ritz, diet sodas, cakes, cottage cheese, and so on. When I was nannying for this family, I used to eat all of these things (and then feel really bad about myself for it). I also used to drink hefty amounts of Dunkin Donuts iced coffee with caramel and cream, and didn’t hesitate to pop a few munchkins in my mouth when I was feeling sassy. All of these old habits are coming back to me and making my mouth water with every creak of the snack-cabinet hinge. Tomorrow is no more Whole 30 day and I am uber-tempted to break into those Oreos first thing in the morning.

2.     OTHER: Reintroduction is already disappointing me. I am only in NYC until Friday (at the latest) which means that I will be returning from 10-months away without getting to bite into a scone (literally my favorite food IN THE WORLD) from the best bakery the Upper East Side has to offer (and the upper East coast, according to moi). This thought has been plaguing me. I am trying to think of way to rearrange introduction to put gluten first, but even then I would also be eating dairy and sugar in one big whammy with that scone. Not what the program is designed for in terms of figuring out intolerances. But I want the scone so bad (whining).

3.     SOCIAL: Due to the fact that the two parents of these four kids are BOTH doctors, I am starting think I am going a little bit crazy in my attempt to avoid sugar/processed food/grains/legumes/dairy when they are clearly NOT WORRIED about it (on their kids behalf and their own). It is weird seeing the extreme contrast between our diets. I am criticizing myself (as per usual), which is making it hard for me to stay focused on why I have done this 30 day challenge in the first place. I am starting think I am a deranged, eating-disordered weirdo who spends way too much time obsessively planning her meals. I just want to be normal, and eat like a normal person without craving and craving, and thinking about food, and overeating, and ETC.

4.     OTHER: Reintroduction is also scaring me. I am terrified that I am going to binge-eat. Honestly, the Whole30 did make me feel deprived. Not hungry, but deprived. I LOVE pasta, dairy, sugar, you name it (which is why I did the Whole30 to begin with, I knew something was way out of balance), so I am really worried that when I reintroduce these things into my diet, I will fly off the handle and eat until the cows come home. OR WORSE, I will have to fight through the cravings NOT to eat until the cows come home. I don’t trust myself to listen to my body and what it needs because I know how often I listen to my taste buds rather than my full tummy.

 

Thus I am left with quite a lot to think about… I have some solutions in mind already, but it will be really helpful to hear what you all have to say and get the support of other people on the same type of journey. I have the hardest time when I feel isolated because self-doubt works it’s way in to every corner of my mind.

 

Thanks so much for your help!

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First -- You and you alone are responsible for the food that goes into your mouth. Whether you're on a Whole30 or not, you can choose to eat oreos or choose not to. You can choose to have a scone if you want to, or not. To help you determine what indulgences are worth it, you might check out the Guide To Nutritional Off Roading.

 

If you do choose to have a scone, yes, you will have messed up your reintroductions. But it's totally up to you. If they're truly the best thing you've ever eaten, ever, and you'll feel really disappointed if you don't have one, have one. Just one. Go get it when you can sit down and really savor it. Don't just inhale the whole thing, but sit down with it. Smell the aroma. Take a bite. And then consider -- is it really, really as good as you remember? If it is, take another bite, and savor it, and then consider again, is it still really, really the best thing on earth, and still totally worth it? If it is, great, repeat that again, and again, until either the scone is gone, or you realize it's not worth it anymore. (Full disclosure -- I read this basic idea on Melissa Hartwig's Instagram, but I do not always manage to put it into practice. In fact, I've rarely been totally successful at it, I still have trouble walking away from dessert, even when objectively, I can say, it's really not the greatest. But it's still worth trying, if for no other reason than you may discover after three bites that you really don't like the scone quite as much as you used to, which even if it doesn't stop you finishing it at that moment, may make you want one less next time you're visiting -- which has actually happened to me. I finished what I was eating, but based on how it didn't live up to my expectations, I have zero desire to get another one. For me, this is a step in the right direction.)

 

As far as them not caring about what they or their kids are eating, keep in mind that to the extent doctors have had nutrition education, most have been taught that whole grains are healthy and fat is bad, so even if they're trying to eat healthy, it's not necessarily going to look like W30. And consider that they're only human, and while some people really care and work hard to eat right and be healthy, other people don't -- even doctors who ought to know better. You get to decide what you believe about nutrition, and you get to put that into practice, even if it looks completely different than anything anyone else around you is doing. You do what makes you healthier and let them do their own thing. 

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I'd agree with Shannon - make a plan to go in and have the scone right after a template meal (so you're not starving) and pay attention to yourself while eating it. And make sure you've already planned the rest of the day's template meals, so you're less tempted to just say "eff it, I'm gonna eat everything I missed the past month!" And then plan to stick to Whole 30 eating for another few days and note exactly how you feel mentally and physically after having that scone.

 

On the other hand, are you going to go home and think to yourself every single day "I am so disappointed I didn't eat that scone while I was in NYC. My life would be much better right now if I had"?

 

Remember, NYC and the bakery will probably still be there when you return in another 10 months :).

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Great advice. Thanks so much to both of you for your thoughts. I will definitely take the time to think through the scone a bit more... I always appreciate having some extra questions to ask myself in terms of why I want it so badly. It is really helpful to have the support of this community!

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I just have a couple of things to add. If you eat a scone, you will only be combining two reintro categories: gluten and dairy (sugar is not one of them). You will still get information that one of those things is causing you to feel bad, if it does, and you can continue to play around with those two groups to figure out which one it is. You might try eating something with sugar before you go to NYC so you can make sure that it's not the sugar causing a problem if something does.

 

Also, I wonder if you have ever posted a few days' worth of meals to the Troubleshooting forum. It sounds like you've had a lot of trouble with cravings during your Whole30, and maybe there is something nutritional that could be tweaked to help you as you move into reintros.

 

Good luck, and send me one of those scones!  :P

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. I just want to be normal, and eat like a normal person without craving and craving, and thinking about food, and overeating, and ETC.

What is "normal" for someone else isn't necessarily normal for you. What is "normal" also isn't best practices. If it was normal to walk on broken glass every other day because that's what everyone else does and they seem to do alright with it, would you do it? You could just as easily not do it; you could walk around the glass and have a great quality of life (and feet). The only thing you would be missing is being part of the group that marches around on broken glass. You wouldn't have cut up feet and infections and pain and anxiety over the glass.

Same goes with food. Just because it's normal for most people to eat food that makes them less healthy doesn't make it something that we should all be doing. You could just as easily not eat unhealthy food (walk around the glass) and then not end up with inflammation, stomach upset, anxiety, cravings and feelings of shame or guilt. The only thing you would be missing out on is being part of a group that eats foods that are not good for their bodies.

I agree fully with chezjulie, you might either need more time with the Whole30 to cement new habits or you could use some tweaking of how you are using the template/foods in order to knock those cravings down. Having strong cravings through the full 30 days is not that common, there may be tweaks you can make if you really want to be free of the pull of certain foods.

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This sounds like me after my first Whole30, and on day 31 I went to Washington D.C. and ate every single thing in one day. By the end of the day I was so sick in couldn't even stand up straight. I learned nothing from my Whole30. Thirty days for me was not nearly long enough. I'm on day 75 of a whole100 and I'm feeling more secure than I did after 30 days, and I'm still nervous about being done. However, the difference between day 31 and day 75 is now I'm learning to question myself "WHY" I think I need something. I spend a lot of time thinking about why I felt the need to eat things as they never made me as happy as I thought they did. This is the realization that's come to me with and extended whole30.

 

Personally, I think you need more time with this program.

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Thank you so much for your feedback. This year has been characterized by plunging head first into healthy, wholesome adventures that I never would have thought myself capable of before. I am a person with loads of self-doubt and serious insecurity about sticking out or "being difficult". This is something I have been working with in many areas of my life (basically just allowing people to know me, rather than morphing into what I think they want me to be). The Whole30 has helped tremendously with pointing out this discomfort I feel when I perceive myself as "sticking out". I think you're right @WholeMama623, when you say that I need more time with the program. This first W30 was a whirlwind and pointed out so many mental/emotional connections and attachments I have to food. I think 30 days skimmed the surface in terms of really challenging these ties I have created in my mind. In terms of my food intake, I think I have been following the template really well and yesterday I was really impressed with myself for stopping myself from giving in to my snack cravings (which had nothing to do with hunger). 

 

I will post the meals I have had for the past few days, plus this additional info... On Thursday, I flew home from Italy so I am a bit jetlagged. (I am thinking about continuing the Whole30 for another week or so because I know the jet lag is definitely affecting my energy levels so it will be another factor that might confuse reintros.)

 

Day 27:

M1: three egg omelet with broccoli, 1 chicken sausage, grape tomatoes, and olives (about 10-15)

M2: three fried eggs with kale, 1/2 sweet potato, and 1/2 avocado

M3: 1/2 sweet potato, 1 chicken sausage, kale and avocado

(these meals were limited in terms of ingredients because I was super sticker shocked at whole foods)

 

Day 28:

M1: 2 fried eggs, 1 chix sausage, bro, 1/4 avocado, green salsa

M2: 3 fried eggs with 1/2 sweet potato, kale, a few pieces of pineapple, a few raspberries, a few carrot sticks, and 1/4 avocado

M3: HUGE salad with spinach, beet, sweet potato, steak (grass fed), chicken, cherry tomatoes, and olive oil for dressing

(I was really hungry around 9/10 pm tonight so I had: 1 chix sausage, 1/4 sweet potato, 2 tbsp tahini, 1/4 avocado)

 

Day 29:

M1: 2 fried eggs with avocado, broccoli, kale, 1/4 sweet potato

M2: chicken salad with carrot, olives, zucchini, one ring of grilled pineapple, 15 olives (or so), and some other things that I can't quite remember but it was a big salad

M3: 2 fried eggs, 2 pickled peppers, kale, and green salsa

M4: 1 fried egg, kale, broccoli and more peppers

Because I woke up at 530 AM this morning (jetlag) I had two smaller meals in the evening spaced two hours apart so as to avoid the late night hunger

 

Day 30:

M1: two eggs with assorted salad bar goodies from whole foods. Including but not limited to: zucchini, mushrooms, chicken, turkey, goji berries, walnuts

M2: Carnitas, guac, romaine salad from Dos Toros

M3: Curried chicken made with coco milk, onions, zucchini and summer squash on a bed of kale and topped with two eggs

I really resisted afternoon cravings to eat, as well as a late night craving to eat tonight, but made it through without snacking, hooray!

 

When I look back on what I have been feeding myself (I have been plating my food well and taking photographs), I feel like a total rockstar and I feel really happy that I am looking after my body so well! I am confused as to why I am still plagued by this intense desire to abandon the program and go back to a sugary life-style. Physically, I don't feel that much different, and I actually don't think my body has changed THAT MUCH but I know the way I am eating now is good for me. It is intuitively good.

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What is "normal" for someone else isn't necessarily normal for you. What is "normal" also isn't best practices. If it was normal to walk on broken glass every other day because that's what everyone else does and they seem to do alright with it, would you do it? You could just as easily not do it; you could walk around the glass and have a great quality of life (and feet). The only thing you would be missing is being part of the group that marches around on broken glass. You wouldn't have cut up feet and infections and pain and anxiety over the glass.

Same goes with food. Just because it's normal for most people to eat food that makes them less healthy doesn't make it something that we should all be doing. You could just as easily not eat unhealthy food (walk around the glass) and then not end up with inflammation, stomach upset, anxiety, cravings and feelings of shame or guilt. The only thing you would be missing out on is being part of a group that eats foods that are not good for their bodies.

I agree fully with chezjulie, you might either need more time with the Whole30 to cement new habits or you could use some tweaking of how you are using the template/foods in order to knock those cravings down. Having strong cravings through the full 30 days is not that common, there may be tweaks you can make if you really want to be free of the pull of certain foods.

I am so posting this somewhere for me to see. Hello common sense!

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SOCIAL: Due to the fact that the two parents of these four kids are BOTH doctors, I am starting think I am going a little bit crazy in my attempt to avoid sugar/processed food/grains/legumes/dairy when they are clearly NOT WORRIED about it (on their kids behalf and their own). It is weird seeing the extreme contrast between our diets. 

 

Ever met a doctor who smoked? A nurse who was fat? A diabetic who loved ice cream? (That last one is me!)

 

They're just people, and it's much easier to tell other people what they should do ("You should quit smoking", "You should exercise 30 minutes a day", etc.) than implement it ourselves.

 

My guess is that, with stressful and demanding jobs, fighting with their kids over Oreos isn't something they're looking forward to. We're all human and make (sometimes poor) food choices. Being a doctor doesn't change that. Being diabetic doesn't change that (although I wish it did). 

 

Also, I hope you ate the scone. :)

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@aaevk - It looks like no one ever responded to your meal posts… I am no moderator, but at first glance, it looks like you could add some fat! Coconut oil, coconut butter, nuts, etc? That would increase your satiety level, maybe reduce cravings? Just a thought… Hope you're doing well!

PS I worked in an ER for 10 years, and never met a doctor who gave good nutritional advice... an ER doc once scolded me for advising a patient with kidney stones to eat more fresh vegetables and drink more water! He said it was none of our business what people ate, and that we shouldn't be giving nutritional suggestions. Unbelievable! I also worked with a number of nurses who were overstressed, overweight, etc. and there was ALWAYS crappy junk food in the break room.

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