Jessica M. Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 My best friend called me from NY to tell me I am crazy to be trying to go cold turkey on so many food groups all at once, that I will never be able to do it, and why don't I just cut back a little at a time. I knew that would be her feeling about Whole30 so I haven't really mentioned it to her, but I had posted on Facebook about it and how my head is hurting from caffeine withdrawal (can't stomach the black coffee, though I am trying a little in the morning just to not have MASSIVE no-carb, no-sugar, no-caffeine headaches. ALSO she thinks putting anything on Facebook is crazy. My point of doing that is to shame myself into sticking to it! I figure if it's out in the world it will be harder to back out! Every other time I've tried to change what I eat, I didn't say much to too many people and then when I was bored or sick of all the prep work or really wanting nachos, it was easy to give up. I'm trying to do something good here. Wah. Just wanted a place to vent. ~Jessica Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kb0426 Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 You ARE doing something good here. Why care what she says? It is only for 30 days (or however long you choose) and exactly how will her life be affected by your success? It won't...not the slightest. Don't let her get you down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica M. Posted January 6, 2013 Author Share Posted January 6, 2013 Thanks. I'm used to her building me up. She doesn't see the point in this. Trying to let it roll off my back, but it brought me down, for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrayS Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 It sucks when people in your life are not supportive. Give it time and let her see how great you're doing in a few weeks/months. It's hard to argue with good results. Also on the caffeine topic I tried to go without and had just horrible headaches too. Now I'm having tea only, which is a much lower dose of caffeine than the strong drip coffee I have been accustomed to, but enough to mellow the headaches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJFaurl Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I also have one of those uber opinionated friends but she just said, it's not for her. I am having day 7 blahs but am committed to go further than my last whole30 (13 days). Of course the email this morning about sweet potato fries freaked me out a bit. Trying not to overthink it all. Anyway, here's hoping our headaches will subside soon and I appreciate your vent....Jessica Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 It's your life, not hers. Hang in there. For some people the baby steps approach doesn't work--cold turkey works much better. It is a real bummer not being supported by someone that you are used to being supported by. We have to try and give ourselves the support we need and not look for it from the outside. I know that sounds like psycho-babble, but it's something I work on constantly. I'm doing this because it's what *I* want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny M Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 "Cut back" sounds a lot like "eat *blank* in moderation" something that has failed every dieter (and I mean anyone looking to improve health) in the world every time. I won't go too deep into this but if moderation worked, we'd all be in great health and perfect weights. Do what you have to do for your own reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paleochef Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 I have had a similar experience. My friends all believe "everything in moderation" but eating that way left me carrying an extra 30 lbs. I now just say "For me, eating this way makes me feel great." It usually quiets people. Also, people fear change. If you are changing your lifestyle your friend may feel threatened by that. Don't give too much though to what other people think of your food choices. Stay focused and be proud that you are taking control of our food choices and aiming for a healthier lifestyle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 On posting on Facebook- the only thing that could be difficult with that is the continued possibility of negative feedback. Maybe to keep your resolve you can post more often in here then on FB? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
30Canandaigua Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 I have been discussing my whole30 with a few friends. Most of them kind of rolled their eyes and said yeah whatever... until I posted my results on Facebook. I had mostly positive feedback (what is there to bitch about when I lost 18#?!?) One of them pointed out that she would never tell anyone in person, or on Facebook ,if she tried to do a whole30 because she feels like every time she tries a diet and tells people, they are constantly looking for major sucess or failure. And of course then feel the need to verbalize their opinion versus giving support. In the end, it all comes down to each persons opinion... and whether or not you let their opinion bother you, motivate you, or piss you off. Or ignore it all together The people that have been negative were usually responding to me complaining, so I don't complain to people that don't understand what I'm trying to do... because they don't 'get' that I am just venting, versus looking for an answer from them. I don't want an answer, I know the answer... I just don't like it! Good Luck!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsStick Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 My hubby still thinks I'm crazy. When I brought it up to him, he was in the "don't go cold turkey! Ease into it! Why make fake noodles for pasta? You need the CARBS from the noodles!" mindset, and he still worries about my carb intake. I have upped it slightly (one piece of fruit per day plus whatever is in my recipes for the day and some sweet potato) based on how I've been feeling, but also mostly because this week I'm eating less sweet potato than last week and I liked the level I was at before (mashed SP vs. in a hash with apple, sausage, and egg). I hope this gets through to him that grain free isn't low carb, although why he's so against low carb when his father lost over 50 lbs just by limiting his grains and such is beyond me. I think when he gets home he might realize how I've changed towards food, how I don't need sugar anymore, how I'm much more energetic (well, at least MORE energetic, maybe not MUCH MORE yet...), etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica M. Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 I have to say, my extended circle on Facebook has been extremely impressed that I stuck to this, and has had nothing to say but, basically,"wow!" and my best friend has come around and congratulated me. I was a bit hurt but not shocked when she called me that day. She's known me since we were 13 and through every good and bad thing. She was being honest. It does sound crazy/extreme. But I think I needed some crazy, because here's day 34 and I am still sticking to this, whereas moderation does squat for me. Still waiting for my "magic" in terms of energy and health, but in the meantime I'll just be thrilled that it's begun my newest weight loss journey with a 9 lb loss in 31 days. Not too shabby. It has been a LOT easier than I thought to cut out all this stuff. It's kind of shocking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyP Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 So, here is the thing... Don't try and shame yourself about your goals. You are just leaving yourself open to be shamed by others. Look for and ask for support systems. Here is a good place, but Facebook or friends can be another. Before I embarked on mine, I mentioned how some magazines talked about how healthy Paleo is, even if they don't buy it all medicine for the most part falls into the it can't hurt you side of things for Paleo... And since Whole 30 is a bit tricky to explain... I've called it a cleanse... A kick start, a why to start clean and getaway solid base for a lifestyle change I need to do to get healthy and fit. I talk about how much amazing food there is that we don't eat enough of... How I want to eat more veggies and lean meats. I also talk about how after the initial carb flu and the mid 30... I want to kill all things phase, I've never slept better or felt so productive in my life. It's something you are trying to see what benefits it might bring you... All these things. Soften the approach and let your loved ones get used to the idea... And you too! When they start to see the results... You and them, you can begin to believe that this is something you can and will do for you. Decide today, what you want for you is health and happiness... And then decide it again tomorrow. You can do it. Be proud of every step you take... And remember you are never failing if you are still trying. What you are really doing is learning. So keep going and be good to yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaseyD Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 A friend of mine posted this link on FB and it might be worth sending to your friend to read: http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/ I like the response that I think has come up on the Whole9 blog (or maybe in the book?) about this being crazy. How is it crazy to eat natural, healthy foods? It seems to be more crazy to continue to eat foods that make you sick or are totally unhealthy for you. How can you beat that reasoning? I have several friends/family with different goals. We all post our progress on Facebook. Sure, I don't at all agree with what some of them do (for example, my sister-in-law goes on extreme diets and exercise programs to get into body building competitions), but it makes perfect sense for us to be posting our progress on FB for accountability. Just tell your friend to hide your posts if she can't handle reading it. I've had to hide my sis-in-laws posts sometimes because she gets me so worried. It is just better for our relationship because I know nothing I say would change her mind, and what's the point? It's her life and her choice. Perhaps your friend needs to have the same approach with you when it comes to the Whole30. Sometimes people who truly can't handle some of the choices we make just need to be left out of the discussion for the good of that relationship. It sucks, but it is what it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tellytelly Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 "Cut back" sounds a lot like "eat *blank* in moderation" something that has failed every dieter (and I mean anyone looking to improve health) in the world every time. I won't go too deep into this but if moderation worked, we'd all be in great health and perfect weights. Do what you have to do for your own reasons. ^^^Totally agree with this! Just tell her you actually think it's easier to go cold turkey. Plain & simple. Just finished my 1st W30 & am extending it to a W45. For me, it was FAR easier than the "moderation" I've been practicing for all these years... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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