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Nadia/first Whole30

Nadia B

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I am starting this food log in hope of finding a perfect balance to my food routine. I'm already on day 15, but who cares.

I am 5'5, 121. Despite the fact that low fat diet made me 30 lb lighter, it has completely messed up my hormones (no periods in 6 months, sorry for tmi), my hair/nails/skin and my sleep. Moreover, it has turned me into scale/calorie counting addict. Classic.

Fortunately I've never got the chronic cardio bug, but always enjoyed strength training. To manage stress and bring a happy balance in my life I prefer to combine fun and sports (skating, riding bicycle, rollerblading, etc). I have a walking rule (walk where you need to be if it's not more than 3 km) and I am absolutely obsessed with dancing and taking ballet classes.

My main goal (beside obvious ones as healing and getting healthier) is to get to love my body and myself again. That's major.

Ok, now to the food. Day 15.

Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs with chorizo, onions and bell peppers topped with cilantro (nomnompaleo app). Chard and cherry tomatoes. Coffee with 1 oz coconut milk and cinnamon. And I mindlessly grabbed several cashews while I was looking for cinnamon in my pantry, which I deeply regret J

Lunch: crispy spiced Ñhicken livers (theclothesmakethegirl), carrots, roasted Brussel Sprouts and a bit of mashed cauliflower + spinach/veggies salad with ½ tbsp evoo. 1/4 green apple.

Pre-workout: two slices of chicken breast (the best chicken you will ever eat from theclothesmakethegirl) and a hard boiled egg.

Post-workout: chard wrap with sweet potatoes and same chicken.

Dinner to follow.

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I started eating more fat in the summer and lo and behold, there it was.

My doctor begged me to eat fat. She'd usually say: "Can you imagine how often do I get to tell my patients to eat more? Almost never, don't ruin it for me, be good". We are joking now that I am doing Whole30 just to keep her happy.

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Alright, dinner to complete my first food log.

When I got home after the gym I opened the fridge...and realised that I do not want anything that i had in it. Terrifying I know. Sunday prep came to the resque: I had baked eggplant, baked spaghetti squash and tomato paste. I stole a piece of beef from the chunk that is soon to become a roasbeef et voila, dinner is ready.

After the dinner I had a cup of herbal tea with the "i have a good reason" bowl of berries (they we about to spoil), tsp of coconut milk, coconut flakes (i got the new brand and had to try it) topped with grated hazelnut (i got a new microplane and had to try it). It was heavenly. Sigh.


Bad stuff: I haven't planned my meals properly, so I got hungry 3 hours after the lunch. I was struggling during my workout quite a bit. I know where my scales are, they are telling me to step on them :( I had that berry bowl.

Wierd stuff: stretching went super smooth and I finally did the split aaaaaa! My toes and shoulders used to crack like crazy - I swear it's almost gone. Mystery.

Good stuff: urge to count calories has significantly dropped.

Amazing stuff: halfway there and feeling damn good about it.

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Day 16.

My day started not so great. I didn't have a good sleep – my trouble sleeping is back, oh dear Magnesium help me. As a result I woke up feeling fat and swelled. Trying not to think too much about it I quickly arranged breakfast – coffee with spiced coconut milk + 2 fried eggs, shitake mushrooms and carrots in ghee + cucumber + silky-smooth chicken liver pâté (must try! It's fantastic) + little bit of coconut flakes.

And then it all happened. My jeans that I wasn't wearing for a while were tight. Not my one-day-I-fit-into-them “skinny jeansâ€, but my regular jeans. While my brain screamed “DONâ€T DO IT†I was stepping on the scale. No need to say that they showed an increased number. No logic arguments or great articles from whole9 team would help.

Mantra “relax, woman†didn't work, so I packed my lunch and headed to work.

This is what's for lunch today: chicken marinated in mint/cilantro/apple (nomnom paleo app) + garlicky zucchinis + napa cabbage/tomatoes/cucumber/bell pepper/leeks salad with homemade mayo.

By 4 pm I got super hungry which was very unexpected :( As I wasn't prepared at all I ran to the market nearby my office and ended up with the mini-meal: several slices of roast beef, kalamata olives and a bit of nuts. This snack caused crazy nausea attack - lesson learned, olives are out for now. I really should say random meals are out.

No dinner to follow. I got home and somehow ended up eating whole ton of random (compliant) food. I wasn't even hungry.

I thought of nothing better to do than grabbing my new skates (lovelovelove) and going to the rink. Fresh air might clear my head and help me sleep better.

Bad stuff: damned scales moment + upset stomach all the morning + still feeling fat. Eating 4 pm snack and stuffing myself with random food from the fridge instead of proper meal.

Good stuff: I was 100% sure I'll be sore after yesterday workout as it was pretty intense. NOT AT ALL.

Amazing stuff: crazy sunshine outside and I really enjoyed my walk to the office.

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Day 17.

I think I've reached my emotional edge today. I am a mess today. Kill all things mode is on. My stomach is upset, I am bloated and I started to have weird breakouts (wha-whaaaat? Day 17, hello). I feel super fat and disgusting. I tried my best to think of one tiny positive change that has happened to me during these 17 days. Ok, I am eating real food…I haven't been eating junk food/processed crap for years. I am healing…and getting fat. Oh boy, I am really losing it.

Though my breakfast was delicious, I didn't enjoy it a tiny bit. I had cm coffee + turkey sausage + yam kind of latkes (1/2 yam/egg/onion in 1 tsp coconut oil) + cherry tomatoes.

I quickly packed a lazy lunch and headed to work. I have my ballet class tonight, fingers crossed my belly gets to a normal size.

Today's lunch: arugula/tomatoes/cuces/blueberries with evoo + steamed green beans with lemon and garlic and baked apple salmon. Small pear.

I was super sleepy after 2pm and struggled to get through the rest of the day. Tiger blood stage, where are you?!

Dinner turned out better than I though, I had curried cream of broccoli soup (Michelle, you make my life so much better), zuccini with a bit of sunshine sauce (tried for the first time, definitely making a batch to keep handy) and two beef patties (leftover mixture from making meatballs).

Then I just crashed. I think I fell asleep in my armchair. I woke up 5 minutes before I had to head to by ballet class. I felt like one big noodle, but after short (and constructive) dialog with myself I decided to go. As I had only couple minutes, I grabbed a handful (heaping uhuhu) of nuts and headed to the school. I got bloated right away, holy cow! Nuts are banned banned banned. I barely survived the class, got home and fell asleep right away.

Good stuff: none

Bad stuff: everything

Amazing stuff: I am still doing it

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Day 18.

Sleep has slightly improved, maybe it's one extra magnesium pill. Stomach gets upset every morning. I feel like I get bloated even from water. More breakouts. Still feeling fat and swelled. My body is clearly against me.

I woke up SUPER hungry, I could eat a mammoth, trust me. So I ate what's supposed to be two portions of breakfast: cm coffee + rutabaga/yam/ground beef hash with two eggs. It was so so so good. But you know what? I got hungry in 1 hour. No joke.

I packed my lunch and headed to the office. I am having asian meatballs (nomnom) + steamed green beans/zuccini/leeks/bell pepper + napa cabbage/cherry tomatoes/sunshine sauce. It looks gross in the picture, but you know what, let's talk after you try it!

Dinner was very cool. I had The Soup (I am addicted) + carrots/rutabaga/sunbutter dressing salad + salmon patties. They look pretty weird, eh? Later I had a late snack as I was going out and I wanted to make sure I won't be hungry – 1/4 mashed sweet potato/blueberries/nuts.

Good stuff: it's Friday!

Bad stuff: crazy hunger, upset stomach, breakouts.

Wierd stuff: I think I am learning to ignore my bloated belly

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Day 19.

I have mixed feelings about this day, so I just make a post and get over it.

I had to stay over at my friend's place. As I had workout first thing in the morning I was left to the mercy of his fridge. All I could find that slightly resembled word food for me, were two green apples and two eggs. So it was my pre-post wm.

Then I went to my parents. It was unplanned, so I was a little terrified. I ended up randomly eating stuff there, I stayed compliant (awesome), but it wasn't too balanced for sure. I munched on strawberries and papaya, pumpking seeds (3 handfuls, holy f*), oven roasted pork, vegetable stew (Dad swore he used olive oil) and a ton (TON) of sauerkraut. I was so damn happy that Dad made it, I love this stuff (took a huge can home ha!).

Later that night, I had a friend coming over (again, off plan), so I was supposed to feed him dinner as well. We had soup (It's getting retarded, I know), quickly sautéed carrots/mushrooms and marinated chicken tights. He loved the dinner, even though this person eats Thai food and breakfast crap from insert major coffee vendor here every day.

Then we went skating – it was so much fun! Dj was playing some awesome music, the view was amazing (lake shore) and the smell of burnt wood (warmers for skaters) reminded of holidays. We got super hungry after and I quickly put a chorizo/sweet potato/rutabaga hash with an egg. Not the best post workout meal, oh well.

Bad stuff: very random eating, which didn't make me feel good at all

Good stuff: I've stayed compliant

Weird stuff: I feel guilty for those crapy pumpkin seeds - no good

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Day 20.

My stomach is a rebellious kind. I had a terrible diarrhea after breakfast. Actually I can't remember having one in years.

Well, breakfast itself was glorious; I love Sunday breakfast the most. I had cm coffee + raw veggies + 2 egg spinach/mashed cauliflower frittata (what a beauty).

I went to buy some groceries to the Chinatown that is fairly close to the place I live. I am fascinated by the stuff they have. Fried gluten, anyone? Salted jellyfish? Love it.

After stocking up with tender fresh bok choy and coconut milk I went home for a lunch. I had spinach/tomatoes/cuce salad + mashed cauliflower with sauteed leeks (you can really tell that I've made a giant jar and have to eat it up haha) + chicken glizzards + saurkraut (crack). I ate so much, I though I am going to blow up. Duuuh.

And here is the part where it gets very interesting and ugly. If you are looking for some drama – keep reading. I was looking for a recipe (I have to stop getting excited about anything new to cook) on a website that doesn't have Whole30 compliant recipes only, moreover, the author is quite a big fan of paleo-treats. You get where it's all going, smart people, don't you? I saw carrot cake cupcakes. It's not the cupcake thing, I've never eaten them anyways. It's the carrot cake itself. I closed the website, went for another walk, tried to watch a movie and to read a book. Nothing helped. As I was troubled by my eating habits over the past days, lack of progress and poor stress management skills (EXECUSES I KNOW) I gave up. I had to make them. Here I was, mixing carrots, nuts, spices and coconut butter. Were they good? I don't know as I stuffed them into my mouth the second my timer on the oven signaled. I felt so gross and guilty. The worst part? I have about 10 of them in my fridge. I think I should just go ahead and throw them away. Clearly I didn't have a dinner that night.

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Day 21.

I had an 8 hour sleep, wowza. I've upped magnesium intake, sort of sad, I won't lie.

After yesterday carrot bake fiasco, I decided to go ahead and see if other SWYPO kind of thing will cause as much of a disaster as the carrot cake picture.

My cereal for breakfast used to be sacred meal of the day (oat bran + nuts/honey/fruits etc, no instant crap but still). I've never wanted anything else for breakfast, playing with fillings was always enough for me. Thinking “you are a straight up masochist, aren't you†I cooked breakfast: jicama cereal (grated jicama + 1tbsp coconut milk + cinnamon + slice of pear + little bit of coconut cream on top). It was hot, creamy and very tasty, but I didn't crave the “real†oatmeal. Nor I wanted this jicama thing again. I'd rather eat it raw in salad. Phewww. I've also fried an egg for protein and munched on Brussels sprouts while I was packing my lunchbox.

Nothing exciting is for lunch today. Spinach/tomatoes + mashed cauliflower/brussel sprouts (most of them became breakfast somehow) + sauerkraut+ beef meatballs.

I've also packed emergency protein/pre-post workout snack. I am curious what is considered to be a workout. Let's say I go to Pilates? My ballet class? Skating for one hour? Thoughts, anyone?

On my way to work I had time to think about what's going on with this Whole30 experience. I feel guilty and I feel exhausted. Most common advice would be focus on the positive. But I haven't had a tiniest improvement in these 3 weeks. I tried very hard to find one. Sleep – supplement, hair/skin – probably BC, energy – I am as energetic as a noodle, mood/stress – it's like a constant pms and I won't mention my digestion which is just NUTS.

So, here is the list of factors that make me so miserable in this journey.

- I am a proud owner of number of bad eating habits, that I really REALLY have to work out. I eat even when I am full, I have to have a little extra piece right out of the can/fridge after my meal is over, sometimes I just can't stop eating (even if it's a head of lettuce, chew chew until it's gone).

- I love cooking. I love grocery shopping. Label reading and good food sourcing excites me. What's so bad about it? I am 100% positive that thinking about food that much is not quite alright.

- I can't let go when I fail. I totally have a perfectionist syndrome.

- I think I am actually eating way too much than I should.

Bad stuff: pretty intense abdominal pain/weird bm/bloat/diarrhhrea

Weird stuff: I feel ok posting stuff about my bm and admitting that I have diahhrrea

Good stuff: I have funky nails!

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I had beautiful evening. It was the first evening that was actually stress free since my Whole30 journey, so it deserves a separate post, ha!

I decided that an intense workout won't be of a much benefit to me after the stomach disaster earlier that day, so I went to Pilate's class. The instructor is amazing, she is a former dancer, so she incorporates a lot of conditioning exercises. She also teaches Cross Fit inspired class that I always go Saturday mornings. Perfect. I felt so good after - all stretched out and relaxed. I chewed my slice of chicken breast wondering if it is even considered to be a workout?

As it was still early I decided to say no to reheating stuff, but to cook the whole meal. What can I say – glorious. Here is my dinner: baked sea bass fillet(just brushed with ghee/pepper/salt/lime) + strawberry salsa (yes, strawberry) roasted bok choy (this is the real food with no breakes, juicy and buttery from ghee mmm) + ginger lime marinated shrimps + zoodles stir fry (fish sauce/coconut aminos/vinegar). I also ate a kiwi fruit.

Watched a movie and went to bed early. Life is getting better, clearly.

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Day 22.

Another 8 hour sleep, hiyaaaa! I had to scale my magnesium back as it might contribute to my bm issues.

Power-starch breakfast: two eggs (not really pretty) + fried yam + fried plantain + chorizo + cm coffee. I ended up just assembling everything in stacks and eating. With my hands. Cavegirl indeed.

Packed lunch and wo: roasted bok choy + cherry tomatoes + green beans + apple baked salmon.

It snows like crazy outside, but I walked regardless. Fresh air = good, though I ended up having pretty panda eyes from my mascara.

At lunch I felt that I am still hungry and finished my workout meals (salmon patty and a little piece of salmon). Fortunately, the store in front of my office sells hard boiled organic eggs, God bless the owner.

I had a little bit of pistachios and an egg before the workout. Workout was great, I felt pretty good about my performance. Egg was waiting me after the bootcamp. Why people always give me weird looks if I eat at the gym? On the other hand, I must be looking pretty hilarious - half naked girl with the towel on her head slowly chewing an egg. Haha.

By the time I got home I was so hungry, but generally I cook fresh dinner every day. This is my little ritual and I love it. As the hunger grew stronger I made a quick use-asap-food-before-it-spoils pasta for dinner: meatballs/mushroom tomato sauce/zoodles + arugula/avocado/bell pepper salad. I've also had couple of damned carrot things. Whatever. I felt good.

Good stuff: co-worker complimented my skin and asked what do I use to take care of it. Well, I use fat as a remedy, how about that?

Bad stuff: my stomach denies to be my friend. Someday, buddy, someday.

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Day 23.

Holy Molly! One week to go!

At this point I have two versions of what's happening. Option 1 - my patience is finally being rewarded. Option 2 - my brain is so exhausted so it started to make stuff up. I am fine with either of them to be honest.

Breakfast: two fried eggs + two cm milks + tomato/Chinese eggplant/avocado/spinach/mushrooms plate. Wha-what else do we see in the picture? Damned carrot crap. Yum.

Lunch is a complete whatever today: arugula/avocado/pepper/mushrooms/leftover salsa salad + broccoli soup (I will never finish the batch) + baked apple salmon. Very confusing food combination I admit.

I am going to the play after work, so I've packed an emergency kit of strawberries and mixed nuts. Mission - eat it if I get really hungry, not because I just have it.

After work I've rushed home to have a bite before the show. So, for dinner I drank (yes, drank, my manners are impeccable I know) the rest of the soup and quickly wrapped tuna/tomato/mustard/cuces mass in napa cabbage. Yum. While I was waiting for my friend I ate the rest of the carrot evil.

The show was so cool. They had a song of the sugar obsessed girl - "if you've got some sugar for me, bring it home". I've modified the line and was driving my friend crazy singing "bacon" instead of "sugar" for the rest of the night.

Got home and crashed.

Good stuff: stomach is working much better, bloat is going away and my energy level seems to improve as well. YAAAAAY

Bad stuff: still paranoid about the fat consumption, but eat it anyways.

Amazing stuff: I have had keratosis (don't google it, nasty stuff indeed) on my arms as long as I can remember. Ointments and tonics would help somewhat, but generally speaking it's a genetic thing that can't be cured. Guess what? It is almost not visible. I am not paranoid, my mom confirmed that it's so so much better.

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Day 24.

I think this is it, tiger (well half tiger in my case) blood is here, ladies and gentlemen. I felt so energetic and happy in the morning. I literally was bouncing. I was jumping and dancing in my pajamas (sacred ritual) around my apartment while brewing coffee. Moreover, I did a set of push-ups before the shower, just to manage with this new energy stream. OMG.

My breakfast would make a low-fat dieter faint: two eggs fried in avocado (nomnom recipe, but not nearly as neat as hers) + carrots/rutabaga/sunbutter (+half spoon from the jar) + tomato+ cm coffee.

Lunch should balance it out: oven baked seabream fillets+ carrots + mushroom (yes, one, found randomly in the fridge) + spinach/bell pepper/tomato + blueberries and a bit of nuts.

Good stuff: stomach is getting better and my ballet class is today

Bad stuff: I haven't prepared my mini meals, but I am not going home untill late, so I'll have to figure out something

Amazing stuff: eeeenergyyyyyyyyyy

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Yesterday afternoon was frustrating; trying to find compliant food for a little meal turned out to be a challenge. I ended up with not-so- good-still-compliant choices, let's not get there. Facepalm. The smartest thing to do was to drink a coffee…8 pm. I am so proud of myself.

I had a quick dinner after the class: bok choy and sardines in tomato paste.

Nevertheless, ballet was awesome. I am literally high after every class. Taking this course was one of the best decisions in my life.

Ok, imagine that someone is slightly pulling your hair back. Then imagine like someone is pressing your shoulders down. Then you have to feel that your rib cage is down and not forward, completely straight back. Well done. Flex your tummy, squeeze your bum down low toward the crotch. Now use your muscles to turnout your tights. Check, hamstring should really burn. Now place your right foot parallel to the left foot, so your heel of the left foot is actually touching the big toe of your right foot. While concentrating on proper fifth position for your feet, you might have pulled your shoulders up, pushed your head forward, or let your pelvis and rear end relax. Put all your parts back in line. And here you are, standing there doing nothing. Now to the practice. Fascinating.

It is quite of a paradox for a lot of people, how being in a very uncomfortable positions for hours could bring so much happiness.

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Day 25.

My cell told me (read about the app on the forum and installed it out of curiosity as I am struggling with insomnia) that my sleep was of an extremely poor quality, i.e., I should have been slow and grumpy. I don't know, I have cooked cheerful breakfast (too cheerful) - two eggs in bell pepper + sweet potato + tomato/avo + cm milk. Then I danced and jumped around my apartment until I realized that it's almost time to leave for work. This means I will have to eat a panic lunch and a weird extra today: tuna/bell pepper/tomato/avo salad + chopped pear/chopped prune/crushed hazelnuts/almond butter.

I have planned sauteed kale and bell peppers with some protein for dinner. Maybe I'll change my plan as today is my grocery shopping day. Normally I plan/buy/cook for two weeks. Every time I pay at the supermarket, cashiers ask me something like "oh, you are having a party" or "you have a big family there". I LOVE telling them that I am going to eat it all myself and watch their faces.

Good stuff: it's Friday and I've got new spice cabinet.

Bad stuff: call me Mrs. Bloat.

Amazing stuff: I put the scale away, I am honestly not interested. This is huge.


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Day 24.

My breakfast would make a low-fat dieter faint: two eggs fried in avocado (nomnom recipe, but not nearly as neat as hers) + carrots/rutabaga/sunbutter (+half spoon from the jar) + tomato+ cm coffee.

Lunch should balance it out: oven baked seabream fillets+ carrots + mushroom (yes, one, found randomly in the fridge) + spinach/bell pepper/tomato + blueberries and a bit of nuts.

LOL no worries about food looking as fabulous as NomNom's - she's totally amazing! Sooo, sunshine sauce? I'm a big fan :P

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Isn't she? I love her app and most of her recipes are my constants. I say most as I didn't like fried avocado that much.

Sunshine sauce is the best, I keep a batch in my fridge. I love using it for slaw or zoodles. Drool drool.

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