Maureen Boyle Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 I just found out that I'll most likely be spending (meal) time with my family next week - the last week of my W30. I'm not really close to them, and I just try to not make waves when I see them. Well, I guess that's not going to be an option anymore if I have to pass on dinner. I have no hope that there will be an acceptable food option. I still have vivid memories of eating the *worst* spaghetti ever at my sister-in-law's house. I politely said nothing about it then, after the meal, she said, "That tasted a little off. I think I used too many bouillon cubes." Bouillion cubes?!? Adding to the awkwardness is the reason we're all getting together. My brother is battling cancer. His cancer is actually what spurred me to finally take charge of my eating. I don't want to have a conversation in which I imply that they're choosing to eat unhealthy food. I worry that it will sound like I'm saying the cancer is their fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
befabdaily Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 "I'm really sorry, my doctor put me on this 30 day food elimination program and I have to follow it or I'll have to start all over -- and if I told you about it, you'd KNOW why I don't want to start over". White lies: your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan W Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 I agree with befab. Now is not the time to spill reality. Can you say that and offer to cook some dishes for them? And yeah..boullion in spaghetti sauce? Gack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beets Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Agreed. Vaguely talking about an "elimination diet" has worked for me when I need to explain but don't want to get into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraska Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Agree with all the other posts. Offer to either cook a meal for everyone or just say you'll be bringing your own stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annabel Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 "Elimination diet" is a good one, but even simply "I don't really have much of an appetite right now." wouldn't stand out at all in your context. From my own experience people aren't likely to be paying attention to what you're eating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirsteen Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Maureen I feel for you, that's not an easy situation and you're so right, you're there to support your brother not get into a big discussion about diet and healthy eating. If you really don't want to mention diet at all, a white lie that's worked for me in the past is to say that I think I must have eaten something that was off, I've got an upset stomach and can't really face food at the moment. People tend to accept that without too many questions. Good luck and best wishes to your brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notacommittee Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Bouillon cubes? In pasta? Whaaaaaaaat? Anyway, can you offer to help cook or something to make sure there's a compliant option? Or just stock up on cans of sardines/tuna/whatever and pick at your food under the pretense of being "not hungry" before high-tailing it off to eat your real dinner later? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
befabdaily Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Maureen I feel for you, that's not an easy situation and you're so right, you're there to support your brother not get into a big discussion about diet and healthy eating. If you really don't want to mention diet at all, a white lie that's worked for me in the past is to say that I think I must have eaten something that was off, I've got an upset stomach and can't really face food at the moment. People tend to accept that without too many questions. Good luck and best wishes to your brother. True, although if you go with that one then you have to hide that you're eating at all, which might be inconvenient! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirsteen Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 True, although if you go with that one then you have to hide that you're eating at all, which might be inconvenient! Nah - I'm past master at that game you just say "I know it sounds weird but the only thing I can face eating just now without feeling sick is............ Weird huh?" Honestly, it works - most people agree it's totally weird but I've even had some suggest reasons for why I'm ok with whatever it is I've said I can eat I just nod and go along with it. Now note I'm not actually encouraging people to lie but there are times when the truth will get you nothing but an argument or hurt feelings so I go for what I consider to be the lesser of two evils Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauragh13 Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 Elimination diet has always been my best answer, especially because it is TRUE. You are eliminating things that you think you might react to, and you will reintroduce some of them systematically at the end of the 30 days. You don't really have to mention the dr except vaguely. "I talked to my dr about it...and this is what I am doing..." People have been very receptive when I explain it like that, and they end up asking a lot of questions and getting really interested because *everyone* feels like crap one way or another and they all suspect it might be something they are eating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Boyle Posted May 11, 2013 Author Share Posted May 11, 2013 Follow up: the evening went really well, food-wise. I was invited for 5:00. I let my mother know that I'd be late because "I'm in the middle of trying to figure out some food allergies, so I can't eat most things. I don't want to inconvenience (or offend) anyone with my weird restrictions." Everyone was mostly done eating when I arrived, but the food was still there, set out buffet style, when I arrived. Mostaccioli, pasta salad, italian beef sandwiches, et. al. Fortunately for me, there was a veggie tray and a fresh fruit tray. I'd eaten, so I wasn't really hungry but I ate some fruit and veg. Nobody seemed to care that I was just drinking water. We're a big social-drinking family, but I abstained when I was younger and people probably just assumed I was still a teetotaler. The hostess pushed cake on me a little bit ("But it's from Portillo's!"), but enough people were passing on cake that it didn't matter. The real challenge was this: My cousin from Ireland brought fun size bars of one of my favorite childhood treats. I took one for later. I'm only human. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annabel Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Glad you didn't have any drama with the food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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