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Reclamation of Self


Lizzard77

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Day three of reintroduction. I have rewarded myself with a few new dresses and shoes to go, and currently am sitting in the salon for an afternoon of hair recreation.

Retrospect on the last 30 days:

The beginning weeks were hard, really hard! But then the middle of the third week I began to see a shift and began to see changes for the better. As I noted in my W30 log, I was sleeping, mostly, through the night. But I was also being more productive and energetic. I loved it.

I definitely screwed up on first day of freedom and had a couple glasses of wine. I am still paying for it 2 days later. I learned that my body really doesn't like booze, surprised? Not really, just dissapointed. Oh well, more important to be healthy and happy then to drink wine, really, I swear.

This is going to be an interesting 10 days. I really must keep my head in the game and not fall off the deep end because I am seeng how easy that could be!

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Just remember that this is the most interesting part of the experiment! Think mad biology lab :D Know exactly how your body reacts to different stuff. Aw. If only it was easy to do with the mentality off the whole30. Stay strong!  

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Crappy eating today.  I had a light breakfast of bolognese and spaghetti squash then my hair appt was at noon.  Figuring I'd be home by 2:00 I decided to eat when I got home, well I didn't get home until 4:30 and was ready to eat my hand.  I went ahead and cooked dinner at that point, baked salmon with lemon and dill, ghee glazed carrots with komatsu stems and parsley, leftover turnip mash and leftover green beans with komatsu leaves.  I ate a lot and was still hungry so I heated up a burger patty and cut up some tomatoes.  About an hour later I swear, SWEAR my tummy was growling and yes, if I'd had broccoli and plain tilapia I would have eaten it.  But I didn't so I heated up the last of the bolognese.  UGH, I hate that I jammed a whole days worth of meals into dinner but I was so empty. 

 

I am also having hip pain today, which I haven't had since early in week 4.  Not sure what could be causing it whether it's food related or just was having a break in the pain and now it's back.  I have had hip pain pretty much daily for the last year so was very surprised last week when I settled into bed and noticed, joyfully, that I could lie on my side without pain.  I am hoping this is just the beast rearing it's ugly head in a fight against dying as opposed to a sleeping one rising from a short nap.

 

Enough whining! Over it!

 

Gluten reintro tomorrow.  Kind of excited to have a piece of bread.  I can do without pasta so am not real sure what else to throw in to the gluten soup.  Heading to a bbq tomorrow afternoon so I am sure I can find something glutenous. 

 

I have got to get back into working out regularly.  I barely lost any weight or inches over the last month and I think it's really gonna take some good working out and probably reducing starchy foods.  I really haven't been snacking at all so i can't figure out why no real weight loss.  Oh well, it took years to gain it, it will take more than a month to lose it!

 

Sipping some chamomile ginger tea and hoping to get to sleep early tonight.  Looking forward to a brighter day tomorrow, i don't like being Miss Grumpy Pants!  It's not normally in my character and I don't have the time for it!

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Here I was moping about that I didn't lose any weight over my 30 days but the numbers are in (still kinda embarrassing but in the interest of the truth)

Beginning chest: 44"; belly: 42.5"; right bicep: 13"; left bicep: 13" right thigh: 24"; left thigh: 24.5"

Ending chest: 42"; belly: 41"; right bi: 12.5"; left bi: 12"; right thigh: 23.5"; left thigh: 23.5. For an over all loss of 6 inches!!!! Reminder of why you should not go by the scale because I gained weight. Quite pleased I must say. I can't wait to see what the results are next month :)

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Well done you!  I didn't take measurements for mine, maybe I should have, but my over-flowing bra makes me think the oversight was for the best :P  I have taken them for Clean July though, so fingers crossed I can emulate you!

 

How did the bread go down?

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Sophie, I am sure with focused clean eating you will see size loss as well, now that I have the hang of this thing I don't think much can stop me!

I am not sure about the gluten factor. I am not in any pain today however I am quite congested! No tummy troubles or abnormal bathroom activities either. I can only guess the congestion is from gluten but that seems odd.

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I kept myslef honest during my W30 by posting pics of food and keeping a general log of what I am eating.  Been struggling a bit this week with reintro so I think I should go back to what seemed to work before.  Didn't snap a pic this AM but will try to do so starting next meal.  Breakfast: 1 cup of browned ground beef with 1 cup of shredded brussels and 1 cup tomatoes in 1/4 cup coconut milk and cooked in coconut oil.  1/4 cup sauerkraut and 2 cups assam/mate tea with cardamom and cloves and homemeade hempmilk. 

 

Tummy is pretty upset this morning and had a solid poop followed by diarhea.  I want my regular poops back!!!!!  I guess I should start taking digestive enzymes again,  they seemed to help while on the W30, I just stopped because things seemed to start normalizing, until I started reintro.  I hate that I did so well and solidly followed the plan during the W30 and now I kind of just fell apart.  This is not what i was hoping to acheive from this experience.  I mean, it's great that I lost some size, it's great that I know I can do it for 30 days, but what about those bad habits?  I obviously need to keep working on them.  I obviously did not battle my dragons as well as I thought I had.  I swear I will be more mindful of what i am putting in my body.  I am seeing some good changes and i want to keep going, this is the first time in years that I have actually seem my body shift in good ways.  Determined to keep it up!

 

Not sure what lunch or dinner will be but I have some chicken breasts and greens that need to be eaten.  Dinner might just be "catch as catch can"  since there is chili and other items that we can pick at.  Trying to not add anything new to the fridge since we are leaving in a week and I really hate throwing out food OR coming home to a full fridge of spoiled things.

 

Off to work out, hopefully some endorphins will cheer me up a bit :unsure:

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Stop saying things like screw up, fail etc about yourself. You've done great with whole30, actually had fun with it and have gained the new perspective. Now you just keep going until it feels right. Life happens, but the best thing is knowing what to do when you are not compliant 100% time, right? Get those enzymes in to help the tummy. Hope you'll get you bm in order soon.

Be kind to yourself, I know you are, but just a reminder!

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I agree with Nadia. This is real life! It won't be perfect all the time but as long as we keep striving towards something better than we are winning! You learned some stuff and now you can take what you have learned and apply it going forward. That is huge!

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Thanks so much ladies! I hate being a negative Nelly, sooo not in my character! Attitude adjustment in place, refreshing my outlook and moving forward.

Lunch: weird and kind of gross concoction of chicken, komatsu stems, ref cabbage, and SW seasonings. Ate the chicken. Tossed the rest, heated up some of last night's chili and ate fermented carrots.

Dinner has been thwarted by a trip to the emergency room with the huninator. Will post later when home, nothing life threatening :(

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Hubs had a weird bump that was super itchy on his arm today after working in the garden.  We drew a circle around it to see if it got bigger and he took a benadryl.  It got bigger and continued to itch and he developed a fever.  He had a MRSA a few years back that left him hospitalized, in Seattle Miss Bethany, and his company flew me and his father out to stay with him until he could return home.  So needless to say we were a touch worried about this today.  DR gave him antibiotics and we are back home now.  Not a fun ordeal, nor did I want to relive the events of a few years ago in any way.

 

Dinner was a lovely steak with green beans from the garden and mashed sweet potato with ghee.  Delicious!  And a positive note, because I need to make more of those!  I took a nice long shower after dinner and put on my PJs and when I came out of the bathroom the hubs gave me an interesting look.  I was all like, "What?!"  he said "You haven't looked that good in PJs for a while".  Normally a woman would be pissed but not us Whole30ers!  I am elated!!!!  And I agree, wearing a shirt that my belly used to stick out of regardless of the "bigness" of it and a little pair of shorts that used to be tight!!!!! Lookin' good folks and feelin' good!!!

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I'm grinning ear to ear at hat lovely compliment from your husband. That must have made you feel great!

Congrats on those 6 inches. You're right, don't trust the scale!

I'm glad that bite didn't evolve into anything more serious.

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How scary with the hubs and also glad it seems to be ok. Sorry you had to be in Seattle for such awful reasons. Plan a pleasure trip here some July or August to make your feelings about the lovely city all better and healed. Don't risk it other months lest you just have more tainted ideas of our fair city.

 

Horray on the compliment! I had a similar experience with my hubs last week. I was wearing a cami with little shorts and he said that the shorts were kind of getting too big.  :wub:

 

Dinner sounds lovely as usual. You make me want to find to plant something in my planters other than weeds.  ;)

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I will start photographing my meals when they start being pretty again!  For now they are simply tasty and nourishing but not much to look at :P

 

Ribs yesterday were absolutely delicious!  I was nervous that being compliant would just not taste right to me.  I grew up in TX and am a hearty Texas BBQ eater by blood, my mom's BBQ sauce recipe has been passed down through the family for generations (good thing she's in Europe right now or she'd be apalled at the recipe I used) so I had little faith in this endeavor.  I knew it would be tasty, just didn't think it would be BBQ.  But to my grateful surprise, they were dang good!  Not my Mama's, but dang good!  I also grilled up some kohlrabi and beets.  I wanted some green beans too but we neemed the garden in the AM due to sightings of cucumber beetles.  Although neem is not dangerous to eat and probably could have been washed off, I felt a bit skittish about it. 

 

This AM I had 2 fried eggs and some sauerkraut and fermented radishes (yummers) with a mashed sweet potato and ghee.  I got really full really quick and am feeling a bit gurgly.  Not quite sure why, I did have a skoche of butter last night with dinner but I don't think it would be buggin me now.  ???  Am going to be pretty careful what I eat over the next few days anyway, really straight forward stuff.  i was planning on being clean and to template but I don't think I will be pulling any fancy punches either.  Usually my time can be commited to meal planning and making but I have so much on my plate this week.

 

Off to begin the whole house clean up, dusting, de-cluttering, vacuuming, and generally putting things right.  We've got house guests on Wed so need to wash the sheets in the guest room and straighten up a bit :rolleyes:  not my idea to have them but they are old friends of the hubs and will be in the area to see a couple Phish shows so need a crash pad.  We do have an open door policy for all of our friends but sometimes it feels as though these particular folks never close the door.  But must keep a positive attitude, I don't want to be sending karmic vibes out in fear that I may need an open door sometime!

 

And begin cleaning.......NOW!

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Lunch: Paleo Buffalo Chicken: boneless, skinless thighs coated in Frank's red hot and sauteed on high for a minute or two.  Compliant ranch dressing: homemade mayo, coconut milk, chopped green onions, ACV, dash of old bay and dried dill.  Carrot sticks and fermented beets.  I have not been this happy in a while, for some reason dipping those darn carrot sticks brought me loads of satisfaction!  Well that and, I am a HUGE sucker for buffalo sauce but haven't had any since starting my W30 cause I couldn't imagine it w/out bleu cheese.

 

Scrubbed the inside of the dishwasher this AM, gawd, I had no idea that it could get so gross!  I mean it gets run everyday, how does it have time to get dirty!  Then this lead me to pulling everything off the counters, scrubbing the cabinets, countertops, and floor.  i reorganized the items magnetized to my fridge, cleaned out the cabinets on top of the fridge and over the stove.  Then wiped down everything that needed to go back on the counters.  I am currently running a sanitize wash in the dishwasher and think I may have used a bit much bleach, my kitchen smells like a swimming pool!  Oh well, everything in there is good and cleaned so once the dishwasher is done it will smell fresh and sparkly.  I LOVE the smell of sparkly :P

 

Moving on to the bedroom since I cannot use any water until the dishwasher is finished (old pipes).  It will be nice to sleep in a cleaned bedroom tonight, I always rest better that way!  Then the space will be clear and I can more efficiantly pack.  I should probably make myself be done after that but we'll see how much energy I have left.  I need to do some cooking later so need to save some energy for that!

 

BTW, I would just like to mention that I really really miss my mom.  She, her partner, and my sister all left for Europe 2 weeks ago and my heart hurts so much from missing them!  I talk to my mom everyday so it has been hard not having her to chat with.  I will survive but it makes me so happy that we have such a strong relationship and I cannot wait until she is back home and we can have a good long catch up!!!

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For some reason I read the line on your picture as HOT Compliant. I like it better that way and your hubster agrees apparently :P

 

Sheeesh, you are cleaning too. I can smell sparkly from reading your logs, I want sparkly too. Now that's a proper guilt trip for me. Thank you thank you. I know it's harder than a great workout, have yourself a little ghee-sp. This is my idea of a perfect starchy treat. Or plantains. Holy Molly why did I mention them, crack pure crack.

 

Grilled kohlrabi has blown my mind. Really? I've only eaten it raw in my favorite carrots, apple, cranberry slaw. 

 

The way you talk about Mom is so touching and tender. We are all kids while we have Moms (or figures that replace them sometimes), no matter how old we are. Such a gift to have a strong bond. 

 

Hugs and smooches back from Canadian neighbor! 

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Hahaha, you are a whirling dervish when it comes to cleaning! Please come to my house. Pretty please?

You are so pretty! I love the pic of you in your new skirt. I really like $ finds like that.

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