Jen's 2nd W30

[pjena]

Yoga was great last night.  The Monday teacher is one of my favorites.  She makes even the regular class tough. 

 

Day 23:

M1 - eggs, kale, sw pot w/ CB

M2 - salad/veg, tuna, avocado

M3 - salad/veg, chicken, olives

WO - walk

[pjena]

Plank 3:30.  It was so hard.  I can't believe how fast my time went down when I took a couple weeks off. 

 

Blizzard possibly coming today.  Sigh.  I'm so done with winter.

 

Day 24:

M1 - eggs, kale, sw pot w/ CB, strawberries

M2 - salad/veg, tuna, avocado

M3 - salad/veg, chicken "tortilla" soup, guac, plantain tostada

WO - walk (if it's not snowing at lunchtime), yoga

[LadyM]

But winter's not done with you!

 

I say your plank time is still impressive, lady. And as quickly as you feel you've lost strength is as quickly as you'll get it back if you stay consistent!

[SaraRuns]

Hope you didn't get a blizzard.  No more snow!  Totally over winter.

 

I'm with LadyM, you'll get it back quickly if you are consistent.  And 3:30 is quite impressive.

[pjena]

No worries - I'm not emotionally tied to my plank time.  Just an observation.

 

Plan for weekend challenges ahead:

 

Sat am 5k and pancake breakfast fundraiser - I will give my pancakes to husband.  I'd rather have eggs and kale at home anyway.

 

Sat pm dinner out to celebrate friend's birthday - meat/potato type place so pretty easy.  I'll probably get broiled fish, salad and side of veg instead of potatoes.  Skip the rolls, wine and dessert.  Splurging here might be worth it, but it's not worth giving up when I'm so close and it's really not worth the likely Easter candy binging that will occur if I let up now.

 

Sat pm basket filling - just say no.  Unlike last year, which was right before starting W30, I have being in and close to the end of a W30 as motivation to not even have that first bite.  While I don't think a bit of Easter candy on Easter is bad, I know for me one piece turns into many handfuls, so I'm happy to be abstaining completely this year.

 

Sun Easter dinner - plan is to eat the salad and olive oil/balsamic dressing I will bring along with hardboiled eggs.  Likely nothing else will be compliant, which is fine.  I like salad and eggs. 

 

Easy Peasy! (right???)

 

Day 25:

M1 - eggs, kale, sw pot w/ CB, strawberries

M2 - salad/veg, tuna, avocado

M3 - salad/veg, chicken "tortilla" soup, guac, plantain tostada

snack - AB on a spoon

WO - walk

[LadyM]

Great plan!

[SaraRuns]

Planning ahead is smart!  You've got this!

[pjena]

I had a bad day yesterday.  Nothing tragic, just things not going my way.  It's shaping up to be a crabby day today, too, because I'm fretting about the things that happened yesterday.  I'm trying very hard to shake it off.  Anyway, I got into the AB last night.  I guess it's better than wine and chocolate, but still not a good habit to go for comfort food when upset.  I'm still working on that, I guess. 

 

I'm trying to take today off work.  The kids are off school and we have a bunch of appointments and errands to run.  Hoping to have a productive day and distract myself from my fretting.

 

Plank still 3:30 and HARD!

 

Day 26:

M1 - eggs, kale, sw pot w/ CB

M2 - salad/veg, chicken "tortilla" soup, guac, plantain tostada

M3 - salmon, salad/veg, mayo

WO - yoga

[Beets]

I tested my plank and barely to 1:30. Ha! Have a ways to catch up to your "disappointing" time. I'm falling back into bad habits (raisin afternoon sugar boost). Hope today was better.

[Beets]

Also, funny bc I was thinking of you while buying the kids' candy in a homemade candy shop last weekend. Smelled amazing! I could t remember the details but knew there was something between you and Easter candy.

[SaraRuns]

I hope your weekend perked up.  And yes, if your weakness is AB, there really are worse things.

[pjena]

I am very sad and disappointed in myself.  I blew my W30 on day 28!  Really!  I think my willpower muscles were just worn out.  I did great with the pancake breakfast, dinner out, filling Easter eggs/baskets, even Easter lunch at the in laws.  Then, in the evening with absolutely no reason to give in, a puddle of caramel got me and it was all over.  I ate ice cream cake (coconut ice cream, but still) and then got into the candy.  I feel disappointed, bloated, sore belly, sugar hangover and generally bummed.  Boo.

 

Beets - yep, there is something with me and candy.  99% of the time, I can easily have none, but once I start, I just can't stop.  I did this last year on Easter, too, and had such high hopes that W30 would give me the motivation to not do it this year.  Sigh.

 

I can't commit to another 30 days, but I am going to start over today and get in 12 days before our Cinco de Mayo party on 5/3.  Getting right back to super clean will hopefully prevent the cold sore and get me back to feeling good.  I don't plan to blow it again like that at the party, but will probably have a cocktail or two, which is why I don't want to commit to W30.  But, staying here and starting at day 1, even though I know I'm not going for 30, will help me get right back on the horse.

 

Ugh!  I can't believe I was SOOOO close and blew it. 

 

Moving on.

 

Day 1:

M1 - eggs, collards, strawb

M2 - kale salad, tuna, avocado

M3 - tbd

w/o - yoga

[Physibeth]

Don't beat yourself up Jen! Yes it is disappointing, but you have the correct attitude about picking it right back up again and doing some extra time. Use this as a learning experience. Every incident you have with sugar seems to reinforce your knowledge of how badly it effects you and how strong a hold it has on you. Take some time to think about what led up to the choice and what you could change next time to thwart it. You are strong and you have come so far on this journey. None of us are perfect though so please don't beat yourself up. 

[pjena]

Thanks, Bethany!  Your kind words mean a lot. 

 

I think what led up to it was just too many temptations to resist.  I just got worn down.  I just have to keep working on minimizing the temptation and avoiding that first taste.  Unfortunately, getting all sugar out of my house isn't going to happen with kids and husband around.  And I don't want to deprive them of Easter fun just so I'm not tempted by the candy.  What I need to do next time is get out of the kitchen even if that means letting my food prep and kitchen cleanup wait.  I HATE having a messy kitchen, but maybe if I'd let the dishes sit until tomorrow, that pool of caramel in the pie plate wouldn't have been as tempting.

[Physibeth]

There are always going to be temptations. You can't always avoid them or get rid of them. But perhaps you can better combat them by making them less tempting. Over the past couple of months you have written very vivid descriptions about how caving to sugar has generally not been worth it. Perhaps a good exercise would be to write some of those out in a word document and print it and put it up in the kitchen, maybe just above the sink, on the fridge, and/or on the pantry. Sometimes in that moment of weakness what we need most is a reminder of how giving in to that weakness is going to make us feel. Again it is about asking the questions "is it special? and is it worth it?" I do agree being able to walk away from the mess and leave it if you just can't seem to resist is a good option as well. Or maybe ask your husband to support you by cleaning up the tempting dishes. 

[pjena]

Or maybe ask your husband to support you by cleaning up the tempting dishes. 

 

Ha!!!  You're funny.

 

All good ideas.  Thanks!

[Physibeth]

Ha!!!  You're funny.

 

All good ideas.  Thanks!

 

I take it I'm not the only one with a husband allergic to dishes. I'm just glad I'm no longer tempted by the stuff he eats. 

[LadyM]

It's all learning, Jen! And you seem to be someone who has truly found her way in a W9 lifestyle when not pursuing a W30, so please don't beat yourself up. Falling off the wagon on a holiday is not the end of the world. I think simply continuing on until May 5 is a great plan. And my guess is you'll hop back on again after that. At this point, W9 is, indeed, a lifestyle, so W30 is much less of a monumentous event.

[pjena]

Thanks, M.  You're right, W30 was very anti-climactic (until the end) and not really that different from my every day. I'm moving on.

 

I'm still feeling the effects of Easter - bloat, tummy not great.  Hope it passes soon.

 

Day 2:

M1 - eggs, greens

M2 - kale salad, tuna, avocado

M3 - scotch eggs, mayo, salad/veg

WO - walk, elliptical

[SaraRuns]

You've already had many words of wisdom and I agree with them.  Disappointing yes, but your attitude is right on, back on the horse for 12 days.

 

My husband thinks doing the dishes means putting them in the sink to soak, ha!  When I made brownies during my W30, I deliberately put dish soap in the mixing bowl as soon as I dished it out, as raw doughs/brownies/cookies are my weakness.

 

Onward, upward and I hope you are feeling better today.

[pjena]

Still not feeling back to normal.  It SO wasn't worth it.  I hate that after a year of this, sugar still gets me like that.  I don't know what to do other than just avoid it the best I can.  I just wish it would get easier.  Everyday eating is super easy at this point.  But, if I give in to a moment of weakness, I still cannot stop once I start.  I hate that!  I also hate that it takes almost 30 days to feel like I'm making progress (lost 3 lbs on this aborted W30) and one evening to lose all of that progress (gained 6 lbs overnight and it's still here 3 days later).  I know that weight isn't the point and it's not real, but it's so frustrating how fast it comes on and how slow it comes off.  My pants were feeling looser and now they are tight again.  I'm trying to just be patient.  I know I didn't eat 6 lbs worth of candy and that with some time, my body will let go of the bloat or whatever it is.  I just get so frustrated with how slow it is.  It feels like 28 days of perfect wasted. 

 

Pity party over.  For now.

 

Day 3:

M1 - eggs, greens, strawberries

M2 - salad, tuna, avocado

M3 - fish, sw pot/CB, salad/veg

WO - yoga

[LadyM]

Sorry to hear of your continuing frustrations, Jen. Here's a tough love thought: what if you got super strict with yourself in light of your extremely sensitive sugar dragon and made AB and CB and maybe even fruit off limits for a spell? That might help speed things and show that nasty old dragon who's boss.

 

I know my sugar dragon is gaining on me when I reach for the AB, which I generally only ever eat on celery, but it's often at the end of a meal. When I finished a jar, I opted to not open another one, and that seems to help get me back on template without that nagging desire for sweet at the end of a meal.

 

The bottom line is, though, that you're back! One episode has not derailed all your efforts. Just make the choice over and over to stay the course now, OK?

[SaraRuns]

Sorry you still aren't feeling well.  It is frustrating, both the sugar dragon and the weight thing.  It is one thing to know something mentally, but emotionally, it is harder to fight off.  I'm still proud of you for jumping right back on the wagon.  No one is going to be "perfect" all the time, so knowing how to move forward is so important.

[pjena]

I thought maybe I'd be hungry enough for my morning sweet potato today, but I was not.  Tummy doesn't feel great in the morning, but I'm eating anyway, just not as much as usual.  The sugar overload must have upset my hormones or something.  Weird. 

 

Just for information (for myself), 4 days out from the sugar episode and weight is now back to the beginning of W30, so up 3 from before the sugar episode but down 3 from the morning after.  I'm interested to see how long it takes to get back to where I was.  That data point might help next time. 

 

Sara - Thanks for the kind words.   Perfect is boring, right?

 

M - Somthing to think about for sure.  It is a tough question.  Right now I'd say I don't want it bad enough to give up fruit and CB on my morning sweet potato, but then a year ago I would have said I didn't want it bad enough to give up my daily oatmeal. But, I found that I really enjoy eggs and greens for breakfast and it keeps me full much longer.  So, maybe I'll get to a place where I'm willing to see if cutting fruit and butters will help slay the sugar dragon.  I'm not ready yet, though.  I need to mentally gear up for it.  Keep asking the tough love questions, though!

 

Day 4:

M1 - eggs, greens

M2 - green beans/other veg, sausage, avocado

M3 - fish, sw pot/CB, salad/veg

WO - TM

[Beets]

Aw. I've been really close to blowing it since Easter so I feel you on the worn out tired will power muscles. I like to think I'm past all those base desires for candy and sweets, but I'm not.

And I hear you Physibeth on the "is it worth it?" But for me the problem isn't the question I'm asking but giving myself space to ask it. And usually if I'm going to eat something w caramel the answer is, yes! Worth it. Five mins later I will disagree with myself but in that moment it does indeed seem worth it.

I do love the idea of printing something and hanging it. For me it'd be in the cupboard with the nut butters and dried fruit, and in the freezer w ice cream and chocolate.

Sorry, Jen, but I think you're making the right plan! I am sorry about your pants and hope you are feeling less bloated by now. I fully agree w Lady M about your overall success in terms of the long term. And also about hiding those nut butters. Eating raisins last week set me off on such a sugar craze, for days I was seeing sweets I couldn't eat everywhere I looked. I know there isn't sugar in the nut butter but maybe it's a psychological letting down of your guard.