Alcohol - judgement free zone

[MyssLyss]

This is a great thread dlgallian - thanks for raising it.

 

I'm on day 27 now but plan on extending for a bit. Feeling fantastic now but dealing with my alcohol demons wasn't fun to start with.

 

This little video helped put it in context for me - https://www.hellosundaymorning.org/videos/5 . I hope you have time to look at it.

 

In essence, the idea is that alcohol should be something that we can enjoy, not something that we need (outside of the Whole30 timeline, no-one is advocating total abstinence unless that's what you feel is right for you). So ... we shouldn't need it to relax, destress, be sociable, improve our confidence - we should be able to enjoy it for what it is but not feel unhappy or insecure when we can't have it. Understanding the extent of our current relationship with alcohol is so important as it pervades our society and we get swept along unawares. Speaking personally, I totally did not understand how dependent I was until I decided to take a break (and now wish I'd done it a long time ago).

 

I was a daily drinker when I started my HSM (I'm currently almost 8 weeks without alcohol). It scared me half to death to think of a life without alcohol but I knew I needed to redefine my relationship with the drink. I committed to 3 months off and was unsure I'd even make it through the first week - but I did and already by the time I hit week 5 I had realised so many positive benefits. I really did not expect this to happen. Things have continued to improve for me on a daily basis as I've adapted to cope with social situations and every day stresses that would be trigger points for my drinking.

Please check out my 5 week update on my profile on HSM as a quick summary of some of the changes I've observed - https://www.hellosundaymorning.org/magritte/posts/70055-5-weeks

 

Anyway - what got me through?

1. Kombucha Not only is it Whole30 compliant but it has just the right taste to replace either a beer at lunch or wine in the evening. And I only need to have 1 of them but it's a great little substitute. Beyond that it's been soda water with a slice of lime or lemon or herbal teas but I love my daily kombucha ritual.

2. Exercise - or more specifically, taking up running. Never having been a runner before I hadn't realised how powerful the endorphins you release can be. This really helped boost my mood which kept me from slinking back to the bottle. When I've felt weak or under pressure I've made conscious efforts to get physical, do some exercise or go for a run. I've been running pretty much every day now for 8 weeks.

2. Support - the HSM community has been a lifeline here and has kept me going along with support during my Whole30 from the folks on this forum. In fact, if I were to put this list in order - I'd say having the support and being accountable to a group of supporters probably tops the list.

 

Anyway - congrats on getting this far with your Whole30 and wish you every success.

 I'm sorry, what is HSM? I am only on day two and do not recognize this term . 

[RapmasterD]

I am echoing: <<Thanks for this thread.>>

 

I cut out booze for more than a year several years ago. I remember the first week or so as being challenging, much as it is now. But here I am on night 2 and it's already easier than last night was. Go figure.

[Xandra]

For me, a healthy relationship with alcohol means "take it or leave it".  After years of trying to moderate my drinking in every possible configuration unsuccessfully, it took a couple of years of going completely dry for me to be able to get to this healthier relationship.  In concrete terms, it means that I don't drink on a regular basis; I can go for long periods without a drink and not think about it (a Whole30 is nothing to me); when I pour a glass of wine, I may only drink half of it or might even forget to drink any of it after the first sip; that opened bottle will then sit in the fridge and become vinegar before I remember to check it again....

 

These are the kinds of things that show me that even though I once had a problem with alcohol, it no longer has a hold on me.

 

What has that kind of unhealthy hold on me now is coffee. So I still know what an unhealthy relationship feels like, it just happens to be with a different substance.

[Sazafrass]

I am on day 1 of my Whole 30, after having researched and prepped for it for the last three days, and then getting caught in the post-work drink ritual each night after a nearly perfect W30 day. I finally finished "It Starts With Food" today and am committed to this being day 1 of 30.  I am a bartender and server: tasting wine and mixing cocktails are part of my day to day life- I have made a name for myself being one hell of a drink mixer; But I will tell you a secret: after 10 years in the business, I can mix ingredients in my head, knowing ratios really well, and they turn out exactly as I want them to, I don't really have to taste them anymore. I quit drinking for two years in my mid twenties (I am now in my early-mid 30s, yikes), and after an adjustment period, I found I could still socialize while drinking Kombucha on the rocks, or bitters and soda (some bitters have alcohol in them, but when you are talking 3 drops at a time diluted into a pint of water, it hardly seems enough to throw someone way off, although I will be foregoing alcohol based bitters during my W30.) What I generally find is that not once ever in the history of my career as a social drinker have I ever had a drink or three and found that what I wanted later that night or the next day was "Salmon and veggies." The empty calories in alcohol and the empty calories an alcohol hangover inspires me to eat, has caused my weight to BALLOON over the last 5 years and my health to feel diminished.

Anyhow, I have a few other suggestions for those of us who are looking for a creative outlet that doesn't involve making specialty alcoholic cocktails. 

1: I am a firm believer that if you can't cook, you can't mix a good drink. Mixology requires an understanding of matching and contrasting flavors. Take that creativity and apply it in the kitchen- and like most creative endeavors, having a few constraints (i.e. no dairy, grains, sugar, legumes, alcohol, etc.) can actually be a beautiful thing as far as results go (just think of every cooking show you've ever watched.) Be the one who is now known to her friends, not as the specialty cocktail maker, but the badass Paleo-friendly cook. 

2: Make Fancy Iced Teas (I am obsessed with Numí brand, especially their Chocolate Puerh), Sugarless Shrubs, and seek out glycerin based bitters to flavor your soda water. If you happen to live in Northern California, Revive Brand Kombucha, with their flavors like Hibiscus-Vanilla and Lemon Ginger Yerba Maté, make divine "mocktails." I am also a big fan of Kevita brand Coconut Kefir Water, particularly just the OG Coconut flavor- but it does have some stevia in it, so it is not W30 compliant. 

I look forward to building some muscle back up as a teetotaler. This is a great thread. 

 

[RapmasterD]

I quit for more than a year...several years ago. And before W30 I got back to a daily habit.

 

Breaking up during this W30 has been very hard to do but I've done it...100%.

 

I'm through with the 30 in a few days but intend to stay off alcohol for a full 90 days...and perhaps longer.

 

My cravings are predictably in the evening. And honestly I'm just thinking about it way too much. As another poster said, I want it to be less important.

 

If I could moderate more effectively, then I would moderate. But if I cannot, then alcohol will need to 'go' as a habit.

 

I love the taste, particularly of red wine or a good smokey scotch....but if the cons outweigh the pros -- and they sure as F appear to for me...well, it ain't marriage and we're not talking about unconditional love here, so it will have to go 'bye bye.'

[JSteeleM]

Such a great thread.

 

One thing I noticed after my first Whole30, grain alcochols make me sick! Feelings I had attributed to "hangover" were not!

I now avoid anything with gluten containing ingredients now, regardless of claims of how gluten free something is.

 

 

It wasn't until I read your statement about grain alcohol that I made that connection too.  Some wine doesn't make me feel nearly as bad as some beer or whiskey.  Thanks!

[NazzaB]

This is a great thread.

 

I am not a huge drinker, but I do enjoy a glass or two (of anything!) and love wine tasting, beer tasting, whiskey tasting etc. I feel like I am more of a mindful drinker than a binge drinker. After a couple of drinks it just doesn't taste good anymore and I'd much rather ONE amazing glass of wine or beer with a meal or in the sun with friends and family than 10 crappy ones.

 

BUT, the culture around drinking can be a hard one to navigate. Especially when you're on a holiday or invited to 'after work drinks' and the events are focussed on drinking more than anything else. For me, the challenge is mental and emotional rather than any physical craving for alcohol. Feeling 'left out' or like I am a pariah sitting there with my soda water while everyone else is getting hammered on beers makes me slightly uncomfortable but as I get older I really don't care. Plus, being able to drive home whenever I want and not relying on others to split a cab fare or even worse - catching a cab on my own - is liberating. I won't lie though - I do enjoy the buzz from alcohol when I'm out at an event.

 

I would never be 100% alcohol free as I do enjoy it and I know I have control over my alcohol intake. I probably get drunk once or twice a year and it's usually at a social event. I do enjoy sharing a bottle of wine with my hubby but I will usually have one glass and he will have the rest! haha

 

Alcohol is not something I feel like I have an issue with at all, but it is interesting when you have to cut it out to see how it fits into your life.

[Santip80]

Wow, you sound like my but in female form;  i'm on day 5 and no alcohol is definitely the hardest part so far!  I'm a very social guy not only in my personal life but also in my professional life.  It is very common for me to have to go out for dinner and drinks with clients and things can get a little weird if i am the only one not drinking!  Also, sometimes things just seem off if i can't end my night with a glass of wine or two to relax and take the edge off.

 

Ultimately, i am doing this because i want to improve my health and get off some daily medications that i've been on for years now.  I've been taking a daily dose of Prevacid for about 10 years now for chronic acid reflux/GERD and I have a feeling my alcohol consumption is a large contributor.  Either way, it's just 30 days!

 

Also, here is a new idea... Whole30 should start a dating site for Whole30/Paleo people so we can all be sober together  

[LadyM]

A sober freaky healthy paleo eaters dating site? Count me in!

[Sarasmiles]

This looks like a good thread for me!  Last night I blew my second attempt at a Whole30, by giving in to the part of me that craved wine.  I feel lousy today.  It seems like the wine urge is far more powerful for me than any urge to eat any thing.  I know I need to deal with this, and that having such strong cravings is all the more reason not to allow it into my life.  Today is another Day 1, for Whole30 and sobriety...

[Delaine Ross]

I had to start journaling about this.  I started writing all the things that were better without alcohol in my life.  Honestly, what it really boiled down to is sleep.  When I drink, I can't sleep.  Falling asleep is easy but then I wake up around 3AM and never really get back to real sleep.  Poor sleep quality snowballs into low productivity the next day and terrible workouts.  During my most recent Whole30 (in October) I got more done than in the entire year to date.  I have since added it back in but not like before and only when the next day is a slow one.  Awareness is key.

[A_Whole_New_Me]

Wow, you sound like my but in female form;  i'm on day 5 and no alcohol is definitely the hardest part so far!  I'm a very social guy not only in my personal life but also in my professional life.  It is very common for me to have to go out for dinner and drinks with clients and things can get a little weird if i am the only one not drinking!  Also, sometimes things just seem off if i can't end my night with a glass of wine or two to relax and take the edge off.

Why do you think things get weird when you're not drinking?  Sometimes I drink when I go out, sometimes I don't.  No one but me keeps track of whether I have club soda or a vodka/tonic in my glass.  The only people who have commented on it are the type who like to peer pressure everyone into having shots, and I don't see those type of people at professional meetings.

 

Whole30 is a great way to re-examine our habits, and identify stressors in life. I think the important thing is to make a conscious choice that you'd like to enjoy a glass of wine, rather than feeling like you must have a drink.

 

Since I'm late to this discussion, I hope that everyone is having/had a successful Whole30 & is enjoying their more aware selves.

[kirkor]

It is very common for me to have to go out for dinner and drinks with clients and things can get a little weird if i am the only one not drinking!

Why do you think things get weird when you're not drinking?

Not to put words in his mouth, but from a sales/networking perspective I can see where he's coming from. If you're the only one not drinking, that fact can become a point of conversation, and then that distracts from what you really want to be talking about. Or you could be seen as the 'odd man out' which is bad for establishing repor. Or the client could feel that you are judging them for indulging, and therefore they might either feel hurt and/or guilty, and either way that could result in them closing off vs. opening up.