November Whole30...The Saga Continues


CCLaymon

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Oh, wow.  If those recipes are anything like the Pad Thai (which I am eating right this very minute, made from leftovers in my frig), we will have far too many new options.

 

I made enough Pad Thai for me and for my husband's lunch tomorrow.  But I want to eat his, too.  And the kids just got home and want it as well.

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So I have been up and down, feeling hopeless, helpless, frustrated and mad. 

We have been witnessing my daughter struggling over the past month with her mood and lacking in ANY tiny amount of initiative she did have once upon a time. Upon repeatedly inquiring about her med compliance she reassured us that she was taking them, but no, she finally admitted she stopped them again because she dislikes taking pills . In fact she couldn't even get her refills as the pharmacist refused to fill them. Tomorrow she will see her psychiatrist. 

In the meantime she is sleeping a lot, lashing out at us in an angry manner and the whole home environment is high stress. UGH  x 100000000 !

I did use food, non compliant food to soothe myself over the weekend bc I needed comfort and familiarity, and do not even have any regrets at this point.  I feel disappointed in her choice and am even wondering if she doesn't want to get better on some level, so self sabotages. She only defines herself as a person with addiction and depression and anxiety, and sees herself in no other light . I feel utterly exhausted in repeatedly trying to motivate her to take a forward step in her life. The burden is too heavy, my efforts are futile. 

I am reminded to let go and let god, according to Alanon principles. As a mother this is beyond difficult, and when she cries and verbalizes her suffering I know it is real. Except, is she stuck in a victim role? 

Made some good grub yesterday, and shopped on my lunch today, and went to a gym class, and also ate more non compliant foods afterwards.  

JUST STRUGGLING.....

Offered to attend her app't tomorrow with her, she got mad that I even suggested it.

 

 

 

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@AliceV If your daughter was taking antidepressants and she stopped suddenly (without tapering), she is probably experiencing withdrawal which may account for her moods/anger/sleep.  I don't understand why the pharmacist would not honor her refills. Hopefully, her psychiatrist will give her new prescriptions that she will be able to fill.  I never had issues with addiction but I have had plenty of other problems; I relate to your daughter's feelings of only identifying herself/myself as a person with these problems.   Motivation to change and "live" life has got to come from within us.  People can guide us but we need to want to get better and take the necessary steps.   For a long time after Steve died, I wasn't sure I wanted to live or get better.  It's 14 months now (still need to tell my story) and I am just beginning to see a little light.  All you can do is love and support her and that is exactly what you are doing.  You are a great mom, and I hope you realize that. 

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I am so thrilled with how well my whole30 is going.  I flew from London to Los Angeles on Saturday and went straight to a 36 hour shift as an emergency vet.  My best friend is also doing a whole30 so she showed up at my work with a cooler full of whole30 meals for me to eat while I was stuck at work for 36 hours.  I am so lucky to have someone like that in my life!  And, she's been cooking out of the whole30 cookbook and her meals were delicious - which gives me extra incentive to buy the cookbook for myself.  I also stayed compliant on the airplane.  I had cooked up sauted hamburger with zucchini and had those meals while I was on the plane.  Turned down the ice cream the stewardess was passing out!

 

All in all, my eating feels under control and I have no doubts that I will successfully complete this whole30.

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Hello ladies, I'm following along with the celebrations and struggles. Alice, I was going to ask if you were in Alanon, I'm so glad you have somewhere to turn, and I'm sorry that your daughter is going through this. Lots of addiction in my family, and that is also how I classify my own food issues. I do understand the self-sabatoge aspect of it. I will be praying for both of you. <3

I will say I've stayed mostly on the wagon this week. No drinking, no dessert, no grains or bread or beans.  I'm sure though, there have been ingredients that weren't compliant on some level. My steak came with a sauce, and rather than making a big deal about it, I ate it. I had a couple bacon wrapped shrimp the other night, no sauce, but I'm sure the bacon had sugar.  Actually, that was pretty worth it, lol.  In the moment, I did feel like I was missing out on the drinks and she-crab soup and fantastic desserts. But today, I feel terrific. I have to continue to build these habits so I'm not so tempted in the moment.

I hope everyone is hanging in there. Emily, how is your packing? Melissa, it sounds like you are better prepared for your dance weekend!

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Alice, my heart hurts for you and your family.  The pain of addiction is very raw in our family as we just lost my husband's cousin to an overdose.  It's hard to know what you are going through, but you are leading with love and that is enough.:wub:

I have not been compliant since Friday, but surprisingly, I feel amazing this morning!  I went to bed regretting some sweets after a compliant supper - that sugar puts me right to sleep!  I was compliant yesterday with meals, but had a couple Starbucks beverages and then sweets leftover from Christmas.  

The hubs started yesterday, and while I was feeling great he reminded me what day 1 feels like.  I laughed and said wait until tomorrow!!!:D:lol: I should be nice, I'm back on plan today and after all that sugar...  Which, by the way, makes me very tired and cranky and upsets my stomach, so that's enough of that...

I woke up congested and with a scratchy throat this morning, :( but I do work in childcare, so...  We have nasty weather today - I can deal with snow, but we are getting a "wintry mix" all day with changing temps - I am staying home today with the kiddos, I hope my boss lets me stay home all day - for now it's stay home and we'll check in later.:unsure:

Extra time at home means more time in the kitchen, so I'm pulling out my Well-Fed books and planning...

I'm missing some of our regular chatters!  I hope everyone is doing well!  

Happy Tuesday!!!:);):P:D:lol::wub:

 

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2 hours ago, Laurie said:

@AliceV If your daughter was taking antidepressants and she stopped suddenly (without tapering), she is probably experiencing withdrawal which may account for her moods/anger/sleep.  I don't understand why the pharmacist would not honor her refills. Hopefully, her psychiatrist will give her new prescriptions that she will be able to fill.  I never had issues with addiction but I have had plenty of other problems; I relate to your daughter's feelings of only identifying herself/myself as a person with these problems.   Motivation to change and "live" life has got to come from within us.  People can guide us but we need to want to get better and take the necessary steps.   For a long time after Steve died, I wasn't sure I wanted to live or get better.  It's 14 months now (still need to tell my story) and I am just beginning to see a little light.  All you can do is love and support her and that is exactly what you are doing.  You are a great mom, and I hope you realize that. 

@Laurie

Your words were so kind to read this morning. I thank-you.

I'm sorry you have had such incredible pain in your life as well. You are worthy of having a life, and I admire your strength. 

I know.  She has to want to recover and have a life. We cannot do it for her. 

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Whoops! We have fallen to page 2! I think @MizRik is off for her celebration.

I'm pretty happy with how this trip has gone, though it hasn't been 100% Whole30. I was very jazzed to find a compliant restaurant meal last night for dinner - pork with roasted brussels over pureed root vegetables. How perfect is that?

I made my husband take me to the grocery store last night for nuts, olives and fruit. My goal will be to pick up a salad in the airport and then add some olives and nuts to it. I didn't feel like going out, but if I go to the airport unprepared, I will fail.

Looking forward to a better flight home!

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I thought I had to look hard too for the page! Lots of people whole30-ing! 

Finally got breakfast right to my normal. Now if I can keep it consistent! 

Pad thai for lunch. Some sort of Meatballs likely for dinner.  Since I made a batch of 3 different flavors a few days ago. 

I'm still feeling some food boredom and at any can't I eat the damn cookie. Even though I know why! 

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The hubs is forlornly starting day 3.  He is very annoyed with my food preparation and is bored.  I haven't a clue what to do to help him.  He has not read any of the books and is counting solely on me to guide him.  I think I was successful, in large part, because I knew what to expect and was prepared for each blow.  I printed him a copy of the Timeline and am trying to be as supportive as possible, but it's already frustrating.  I asked him what he wanted for supper tonight and he said lasagna.:angry:  I made the basic meatballs last night and baked potatoes, he prefers most of his veg raw so he munches on those for lunch.  I also made another batch of chocolate chili yesterday, which I believe he will try.  I will be desperately searching for more exciting recipes that I can manage.  I made mayo again yesterday, but it didn't turn out at all!  I used the blender this time, but it is runny and yellow instead of white.  I'm not sure why it didn't work this time, but I will make another batch with the stick blender again.  

Happy Wednesday!:D

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On ‎1‎/‎9‎/‎2017 at 10:00 PM, AliceV said:

So I have been up and down, feeling hopeless, helpless, frustrated and mad. 

We have been witnessing my daughter struggling over the past month with her mood and lacking in ANY tiny amount of initiative she did have once upon a time. Upon repeatedly inquiring about her med compliance she reassured us that she was taking them, but no, she finally admitted she stopped them again because she dislikes taking pills . In fact she couldn't even get her refills as the pharmacist refused to fill them. Tomorrow she will see her psychiatrist. 

In the meantime she is sleeping a lot, lashing out at us in an angry manner and the whole home environment is high stress. UGH  x 100000000 !

I did use food, non compliant food to soothe myself over the weekend bc I needed comfort and familiarity, and do not even have any regrets at this point.  I feel disappointed in her choice and am even wondering if she doesn't want to get better on some level, so self sabotages. She only defines herself as a person with addiction and depression and anxiety, and sees herself in no other light . I feel utterly exhausted in repeatedly trying to motivate her to take a forward step in her life. The burden is too heavy, my efforts are futile. 

I am reminded to let go and let god, according to Alanon principles. As a mother this is beyond difficult, and when she cries and verbalizes her suffering I know it is real. Except, is she stuck in a victim role? 

Made some good grub yesterday, and shopped on my lunch today, and went to a gym class, and also ate more non compliant foods afterwards.  

JUST STRUGGLING.....

Offered to attend her app't tomorrow with her, she got mad that I even suggested it.

 

 

 

Alice, I'm also a member of Alanon, and though I'm not in your shoes, I certainly "hear" you regarding all of your feelings surrounding your daughter and how they impact your entire life. I really don't have any wise words except to say keep going to meetings if they help, keep coming here, and keep sharing your feelings as you are comfortable doing so. There's a lot of support waiting for you whenever you need...

On ‎1‎/‎10‎/‎2017 at 6:35 AM, drtracyb said:

I am so thrilled with how well my whole30 is going.  I flew from London to Los Angeles on Saturday and went straight to a 36 hour shift as an emergency vet.  My best friend is also doing a whole30 so she showed up at my work with a cooler full of whole30 meals for me to eat while I was stuck at work for 36 hours.  I am so lucky to have someone like that in my life!  And, she's been cooking out of the whole30 cookbook and her meals were delicious - which gives me extra incentive to buy the cookbook for myself.  I also stayed compliant on the airplane.  I had cooked up sauted hamburger with zucchini and had those meals while I was on the plane.  Turned down the ice cream the stewardess was passing out!

 

All in all, my eating feels under control and I have no doubts that I will successfully complete this whole30.

Your travel/work schedule seems really intense - thank goodness you've got a wonderful friend to help you along the way!!!

On ‎1‎/‎10‎/‎2017 at 7:13 AM, CCLaymon said:

Hello ladies, I'm following along with the celebrations and struggles. Alice, I was going to ask if you were in Alanon, I'm so glad you have somewhere to turn, and I'm sorry that your daughter is going through this. Lots of addiction in my family, and that is also how I classify my own food issues. I do understand the self-sabatoge aspect of it. I will be praying for both of you. <3

I will say I've stayed mostly on the wagon this week. No drinking, no dessert, no grains or bread or beans.  I'm sure though, there have been ingredients that weren't compliant on some level. My steak came with a sauce, and rather than making a big deal about it, I ate it. I had a couple bacon wrapped shrimp the other night, no sauce, but I'm sure the bacon had sugar.  Actually, that was pretty worth it, lol.  In the moment, I did feel like I was missing out on the drinks and she-crab soup and fantastic desserts. But today, I feel terrific. I have to continue to build these habits so I'm not so tempted in the moment.

I hope everyone is hanging in there. Emily, how is your packing? Melissa, it sounds like you are better prepared for your dance weekend!

Those bacon-wrapped shrimp sound SO good! Good job trying to keep building the habits!

I'm just about done with my packing, which is good since the ride service comes in about an hour and a quarter! I'll be leaving for the airport at noon for a 4:45pm flight, and then looking at about 20 hours of flying with a layover in San Francisco airport of about two hours or so. I am not going to even attempt to stick with w30 eating because due to my travel and work schedule, I didn't have a single moment to pre-cook anything. So I'm just going to do what I thought I'd be doing, which is making the best choices I can while indulging where I think it will be worth it. As far as compliant snacks, I'll be bringing some RX and Epic bars, a container of Epic jerky, dried mango and pineapple, and an assortment of nuts (pecans, cashews, almonds, pistachios). I'll focus on protein (smoked fish, eggs) and veg/fruit at the breakfast buffet every day, aim for a big salad and the least "tampered with" looking protein (they do have a carving station with lunch and dinner daily in the buffet I believe), and pile my plate high with greens if I can, and for dinner, I'll let my waiter know the first night what my meal preferences are so that I can have something without dairy/grains/sugar (the biggest ones I'd like to avoid to steer clear of the insulin spike and consequent energy low) and with two servings of veg (if possible), and then choose wisely with dessert and drinks. I plan to drink some wine and cocktails here and there, but I really don't want to overdo it. If not for the w30ish aspect of it, then for the empty calorie aspect of it- so much of my clothing is on the tight side and is only getting tighter and tighter by the month...

So that's that. Good luck to everyone. I'll have wifi from 20 January to the 28th as I've pre-paid for a plan on the cruise ship, but I don't know what my access will be before then, or how often I'll be able to get online. I hope the next 19.5 days go GREAT for everyone!

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Haven't checked in for a couple days, oops! Things are still plugging along for me. I keep expecting things to get really hard, but so far they haven't been *too* difficult. Having the calendar and knowing what to expect I think has lessened the cravings and struggles for me. I also got into the habit of cooking regularly before Whole30 and maybe that has made this whole thing easier than I anticipated. Yesterday I thought might be hard because I hadn't specifically planned to take anything for lunch with me to work, but I looked in the freezer and saw the turkey burgers I had from Trader Joe's, I cooked up two of them with some sauerkraut and spicy brown mustard, with some veggies from Costco and voila, lunch in a pinch. It was my favorite lunch so far so I bought some more turkey burgers from Trader Joe's today. We have blown our grocery budget a bit this month, but I anticipated that.

@AliceV I'm sorry to hear about your daughter, while I don't know exactly what you're going through - addiction runs in my family which I believe is due to a lot of undiognosed and untreated mental health issues. I also have several friends who battle addiction and have children with addiction. You have my sympathies and prayers.

@NoMoreCrunchyCravings Iceland looked amazing! Glad you had a good trip!

@mhemm You are a very patient person. I don't have it in me to do a lot for other people which they are capable of doing for themselves. My wife is not really doing Whole30 like we originally planned, but I was prepared for that. I've been researching and planning for months, her support is all I asked for and I have it 100%, but she is not yet ready to do this whole heartedly and that's fine with me. We all do stuff in our own time, but I would have very little patience if she relied solely on me for success during Whole30.

 

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Have a great trip, Emily!

 

I'm reading along with the struggles and joys.

 

I made homemade Larabars last night so that my high school swimmer has some healthy options to carry throughout the day.  He lost 10 pounds in the first 6 weeks of the season.  My workouts seriously suffered with the fast weight loss, and his have as well.  He's still been making it through the 2-3 hour practices, but it had been getting harder and harder.  This week I've been making sure that he is getting an extra meal in, and that has helped him quite a bit.

 

Anyway, I found myself snacking on the bars throughout today and realized I wasn't eating an actual lunch (that I had planned) and kept reaching for the pan in the frig b/c it was easier.  This was a habit that I have been working on changing through W30.  It's easier to control the single packaged Larabars because they are expensive and there are fewer of them.  I think I have only eaten three of them in the past 7+ weeks, during some almost three hour workouts.  I need to get these individually packaged up and into the freezer.

 

One of the flavors I made is gingerbread - and I'm soooo glad I did not have that recipe during the holidays.  We have a bag of homemade German gingerbread (family recipe) that have been sitting in the pantry untouched since before Thanksgiving (they last a long time).  But I would have gladly scarfed these down in lieu of the real thing.  

 

I was about the dump the water that I had used to rehydrate the dates, figs and raisins when my husband said I should save it for a sauce of some type.  I have a bag of broccoli slaw to use for dinner tonight and want to figure out how to incorporate the "juice" into that.  I looked for a recipe for broccoli in both the original W30 book and the new cookbook, but didn't find one.  

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I've been reading through everyone's posts, and it's great to hear what all of you have been up to.

@mhemm Thank you for sharing your story. So many ups and downs, and so much strength. You inspire me!

@browneyedbeauty Your story moved me as well. Your perseverance and your generous help to others are amazing.

@AliceV We have addiction in our family as well, and I have felt the gut-wrenching grief of it. My circs are different than yours, but my heart goes out to you.

My mom is recovering and came home from the hospital Sunday, January 8. I stayed to be sure that she really *was* improving, and that her decision to go home (rather than to a rehab place) was going to work. I cooked several Whole30 meals for her. ;) I just got home myself this evening and I am feeling really off balance and uncertain. The first 4 days I was up in the DC suburbs, I was longing to be home. But then I got used to it - I guess - and it feels uncomfortable to be home. My husband is grouchy. The kitchen is a mess. And I'm hungry! (Even though I ate 3 scrambled eggs soon after I walked through my front door.)

It was a bit of work to get set up for Whole30 eating at my parents' house, but I did it. And once I was set up, fixing myself Whole30 meals was not problem at all. In fact, it was easy, and I stayed compliant the whole time I was up there. If my mom had been as ill as she was the summer of 2014, I suspect compliance might have been more of an issue. But things were much less dire than I feared, so I was able to get my meals in their kitchen.

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@Jessica NG So glad to hear your mom is on the mend and great job sticking to the plan while away!

Today is by far the "worst" day I've had. Major sugar cravings due to aunt flo coming to town today. On top of that, I was out of the house a lot of the afternoon, so I didn't have a proper lunch (although I took compliant food to snack on throughout the afternoon). Really, really wanted Starbucks today, but I did resist, and I'm now home making a proper meal. This week will definitely be the hardest with the emotional/physical stuff going on, but if I could get through today without sugar, I can pretty much do anything. ;)

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@Jessica NG Glad your mom is doing better!

@browneyedbeauty I'm sorry you're having a tough day. I would say go to bed and it will be better in the morning ;) 

I had pretty good energy today. I did my usually 30min on the treadmill this morning, and then because of our high temps (65 in NJ!) I went for a 3 mile walk tonight. i even went for  little jog. Let's see if I can walk in the morning with my hip issues!

I weighed in this morning and I'm down a few pounds since my last weigh in so that was encouraging.

@PatriciaNY and @IronGirlTrixie how was your day?

@mhemm if your hubs is board after 3 days it's going to be a long month for him! :D I made the pistachio pest0 chicken tonight, a family favorite. I am definitely making the pad thai tomorrow! And maybe your chocolate chili this weekend!

Calling it a night everyone - sweet dreams!

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@browneyedbeauty

That was me last weekend! I did the things I had to. Went to bed early and cooked so I could do better the following days. You've got this. 

@CCLaymon

I'm doing OK. Mel Joulwan's recipes have saved me this week with variations of meatballs, Thai and Chinese. Tonight's recipe I made on a whim and it was fantastic! I actually had all the fixings in the house! 

I'm getting ready for that dance adventure. Major mental game with food prep and thinking about how to deal with certain folks. But I've got this! I'll try to post on Monday a recap. Doubt I'll have time over the weekend. 

Thanks y'all for being here! 

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@CCLaymon My day was AWESOME the usual cup of coffee in the morning with some Unsweetened Hazelnut (nutpod), breakfast salad consisting of aidels chicken apple sausage, avacado, tomatoes, onion, basil (fresh), hard boiled egg and lemon juice! YUM, and 3 pieces of cantelope.  Lunch was home made vegetable beef soup, loaded with veggies and beef bone broth home made, and stew beef, mid afternoon pink lady apple.  Dinner was home made seafood chowder consisting of coconut milk, compliant seafood stock, shrimp, scallops, lobster meat peas and carrots YUM, and evening snack was a cup of organic salada raspberry hibiscus tea, and slept like a baby!!! hope everyone else had a great day also!!!  and of course walking my Corgi Bella was in the mix of the day also (or does she walk me? lol)

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I'm so happy to see some new posts on here!  I was beginning to worry!:P

The hubs is getting better, of course I haven't been around him much, he tried the chocolate chili and liked it and seems to be doing well.  He says he already feels a lot better.  This is a guy who most days eats PB sandwiches 2-3 times, so this is a big deal!  I have gone through the first Well Fed cookbook and marked a bunch of recipes and made some grocery lists.  I'm excited to be making compliant meals the majority of the week - I enjoy the cooking process and am learning a lot of new things in the kitchen.  We are all winning because of this one choice:D

Have a great FRIDAY!!!!:wub:

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Feeling better today. I still need to unpack, but I've cleaned up the kitchen! Yay! Hubs would rather cook amidst the chaos than tidy up, which makes me crazy. But now it is tidy and clean, so I will be able to cook in comfort.

I have great plans for decluttering more of the kitchen and dining room cabinets using the KonMari technique. I KonMaried my clothes many months ago (I blogged about it, if anyone wantes to know more: http://jmney-grimm.com/2016/04/getting-started-with-the-konmari-technique/), and I wanted to continue with that through the rest of the house. But I found I couldn't both write my novel and KonMari the house, so I prioritized the novel. I think that was the right decision, but I really want to go forward with the decluttering now. Especially in the kitchen and dining room, because I think it will make cooking easier.

I helped my mother KonMari her clothes on Wednesday and Thursday, because it had been a source of friction between her and my dad. He helps her get dressed by bringing the clothes from the closet to her. (She uses a walker.) And he was always bringing her the wrong pants or the wrong top, partly because she had so many clothes that she no longer wore in her closet. So I helped her go through them, bagged up all the ones she wanted to get rid of, and then took all 3 LARGE bags down to Goodwill. She and my dad were super grateful, and they think that their mornings will get off to a much better start without the clothes hassle. Anyway... my mom's decluttering success has me fired up to do more decluttering of my own. ;)

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