SchrodingersCat Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 ... coz she's f'ing useless at Food Freedom, back where she started and is completely miserable. BUT. While this will be "round 6", I need to stop thinking in terms of finish lines, so this log in in the Post-W30 area and will log my mostly W30 but shit happens journey. For anyone who isn't familiar with my previous posts, my story is basically that this will be round 6 - I have chronic vestibular migraines which cause unrelenting vertigo, loss of motor function, brain fog and just exhaustion. I also have a chronic illness (MS) which contributes to feeling garbage. I have a high pressure job, which of course isn't helped by feeling like this. Whole30 - pretty much all those symptoms go away. And yet, I just keep going back to my usual crappy eating and it all comes back (so does the weight, of course). We're currently in hard lockdown - the harshest in the world, I'm told. We're allowed outside for 1 hour a day to exercise (and that's generally walking the doggo, who stops to sniff and noodle, so it's not like it's intense), and one person per household can leave the house once per day for essentials but only in a 5km radius. Curfew is 8pm to 5pm and only essential workers and those who need medical care can go out then. Masks are compulsory outside your own house or car. I'm lucky to be able to work from home, and to have a comfortable place to do it in. I also have a home gym (gathering dust, of course) Fresh food isn't scarce (when it first locked down there was a lot of worry because meat processing and grocery distribution centres were hotspots) but my local independent fruit and veg is fully stocked, and I have no trouble sourcing meat and my favourite fish shop is within 5kms. My trouble is motivation and boredom, and I need to suck both those things up. I'm a very good cook and love being inventive, so there's no excuse for boring food. Motivation - hell, what more do I need than feeling like hot garbage day after day? So it's not like I have social engagements or any other reason not to do it. I need to make this a W-long term, hence the getting out of the Whole30 log area. I have just whipped up a Red Thai Curry Pumpkin Soup (with cauliflower and carrot), and a fresh batch of mayo. I need to order some stuff online (I'm a dijon mustard FIEND and I'm out of compliant) but I have more than enough to get by. I tend only to eat 2 meals a day, with 1 mini meal if needed. Tomorrow I'm planning: 1st meal: spicy tuna patties with a side of my soup 2nd meal: salmon with an orange and coconut amino sauce with sauteed broccolini, and seasoned cauli/brocc rice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Contessa Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 Posting meals and W30 experiences here does seem to dial up the level of engagement, doesn't it? You're in the right place. And yes. Dijon mustard is delicious, shit absolutely happens, and your W30 pals are here for you. Hope you are having a great day, I look forward to tracking your experience here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 11, 2020 Author Share Posted August 11, 2020 6 hours ago, Contessa said: Posting meals and W30 experiences here does seem to dial up the level of engagement, doesn't it? You're in the right place. And yes. Dijon mustard is delicious, shit absolutely happens, and your W30 pals are here for you. Hope you are having a great day, I look forward to tracking your experience here. Thank you! Good to be back - I find that if I'm not tracking here then I'm off track - I do worry that it's something I need to address, I wonder if W30 dials up my all or nothing mindset but the difference between that and my (admittedly disordered) dieting history is that I'm doing this for migraine and health reasons and not for weight loss etc. So if tracking everything is what it takes to keep me eating the way I need to to feel human, so be it. I'm all out of coconut milk so coffee is black this morning, I'd gotten used to having something in it last round because my home coffee isn't as nice as work coffee, but I'll survive - I'm going to duck out for some essentials today and that's on the list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowInTheKitchen Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 I’ve heard about your lockdown, and I think it’s working according to my source. Yes it’s harsh. This week I’ve been thinking about the benefits of tracking. It works, we all have come to know that. And it’s boring. But what if posting here for a few minutes a day (or tracking some other way), every day, for the rest of your life were to become something you do, like brushing your teeth or flossing, something that is boring and repetitive but that is undeniably good for you. Would that be worth it? I hope this is just another wee blip for you, and that your situation has already started to improve. You have already found yourself a tiny bit (or more) wiser about yourself, so take that NSV! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 12, 2020 Author Share Posted August 12, 2020 SOB - I've got a migraine - a traditional one. Currently losing vision. I've popped a bunch of painkillers but I'll hold off dinner to see how debilitating it is. Certainly nothing I ate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 12, 2020 Author Share Posted August 12, 2020 Good morning, gang. Feeling utterly sandbagged today, between migraine, migraine meds and sleeping aid, I would totally still be asleep in bed if I didn't have a couple of things with a deadline at work today. I got up, showered, went to make a coffee, got out my fresh litre of coconut and almond milk, went to shake it and because my motor skills are still affected, dropped it and ended up with it all over the floor. Luckily I saved most of it, and it's now in a very old school glass bottle in the fridge. Great start to the day. Food plans for today: Meal 1: Tuna patties and soup Meal 2: Not at all sure, I'll have to do a deep freeze dive shortly. If I continue to remain feeling garbage it will just be something like pork steak and roasted veg medley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Contessa Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 So sorry to hear about the bumpy start to the day. Migraines are 100% The Worst. Sounds like those catlike reflexes were the difference between a black coffee and a creamy coffee — glad you could salvage the milk! Hope you can good care of yourself and go easy with life today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 13, 2020 Author Share Posted August 13, 2020 I've almost made it through the day, I'm really glad for the working at home thing or I'd have flaked out by now. I'm struggling hard. 1st meal did end up being soup, then 2 tuna patties with mayo throughout the afternoon, and some olives. I usually try not to graze like that, but when I feel this garbage, I have to eat when I feel up to it, but not enough to make me feel ill, so spreading it out makes sense. Dinner will be scotch fillet steak with veggies, I've just picked some fresh broccolini, so I'll saute that up with some Brussel sprouts and mash up some cauli and potato with ghee. Very easy, very boring but about the limit of my abilities right now. So glad tomorrow is Friday. I intended to start getting some exercise but right now being upright is a struggle, so I'll pick my battles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 13, 2020 Author Share Posted August 13, 2020 Whew, I've woken up feeling a lot better than I have in days, I have vertigo but not terribly and I've gotten over my traditional migraine. Actually woke up before the alarm properly (not even just dozily). Glad it is Friday, I'm looking forward to it being weekend, even if there's F all to do!! I bought a really cool cross-stitch pattern yesterday, though I need Aida and cotton to start it, so that won't be this weekend (lock down means online shopping only!). I might get my cook on, I have a bunch of empty jars - I might whip up some ready made sauces for compliant salsa/relish. Usually on the weekend I take the doggo for an extra long walk, but we're only allowed out for an hour a day (or usual walk time) so that won't happen, boo. Foods today: Meal 1: Probably soup and tuna patties again, they're there and easy. I'll need to prep more protein to go with my soup over the weekend - might make some potsticker pork patties, they'd go well with Thai soup. I have enough soup for a week. Meal 2: Lemon and garlic chicken drums with Mediterranean style cauli rice (roasted cherry tomatoes, wilted baby spinach and kalamata olives with a lemon, balsamic and oil dressing) and a green salad with dijon vinaigrette. Usually Fridays are a bit of a struggle because of the wine temptation, but to be honest, the more rounds I do (and also doing no drinking in between them, periodically) - I think I'm breaking up with booze. Not total teetotal, but more of an 'event and holiday' drinker and not a 'woot its the weekend' drinker. The cost isn't worth the fun. It really knocks me around these days, I must be getting old!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 14, 2020 Author Share Posted August 14, 2020 For my own purposes of having a record - vertigo is terrible today, it's causing pain down my arms, in particular the right. I felt a lot better this morning than I do not and I'm noticing that it gets worse when I have just eaten (no matter what - appears to be related to stomach being full and not reaction to food) and also when my stress levels rise - i.e. as I have started attending to an urgent task. Note to self to ask neuro if migraine intensity and blood pressure are related, especially because when it gets really bad my heart really pounds - not necessarily fast, but hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 14, 2020 Author Share Posted August 14, 2020 Dinner got changed up, it's a one pan chicken drumstick dish with potatoes and onion, cooked in an olive oil, lemon juice, lemon zest, basil, oregano, red peppers, garlic and black pepper mix. I'll serve with roasted broccolini, brussels and carrots Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 14, 2020 Author Share Posted August 14, 2020 I'm sad tonight, and that made me snacky, and I had a bit of "why bother?" but I had a handful of raw cashews and a couple of dill pickles and some stuffed olives. Realised I only ate 1 of my tuna patties, so that evens out, I guess. I'll go to bed shortly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowInTheKitchen Posted August 14, 2020 Share Posted August 14, 2020 15 hours ago, SchrodingersCat said: I think I'm breaking up with booze. A good way to put it. I broke up with booze about 5 years ago, am mostly only doing the special occasion drinks now. It was definitely one of the best decisions I ever made. I was having trouble saying no when prompted to drink, which was every single day, so I developed a few boundary statements. Something like "I love my body, I love having a healthy body, a healthy liver, I don't like to poison myself", etc and "if I am pressured to drink I'll say no, thank you" just once. If I'm asked again I will say that I already gave my answer. I had to practice my boundary statement to myself until it became second nature. Now it's much easier to say no to other people, and not drinking has become the norm to me so it doesn't feel like a habit now when I do drink, it feels like a special occasion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadyVanilla Posted August 14, 2020 Share Posted August 14, 2020 1 hour ago, SchrodingersCat said: I'm sad tonight, and that made me snacky, and I had a bit of "why bother?" but I had a handful of raw cashews and a couple of dill pickles and some stuffed olives. I needed this reminder - these snacks would satisfy me. I've had some moody days lately which also result in me being snacky. But diving back into old snack habits. Not good. Your meals sound so amazing and creative. Broccolini, Brussels sprouts, mashed cauli - not boring! LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 15, 2020 Author Share Posted August 15, 2020 @ShadowInTheKitchen thank you - it's good to hear from someone who is doing what I want to do - so many of the resources I look at are for people with a drinking problem looking to quit altogether - my only problem with drink is that it gives me migraines, and makes me eat crappy food, and admittedly if I do drink, I tend drink more than I should and end up with a hangover. But I'm happy to go months at a time without a drink, and be around people drinking when I'm not, and I will always have a drink on occasions. So, as you know, I'm in lockdown and I'm bored. With little else to get creative with, food is my outlet. So tonight's dinner is: 5 hour slow roasted North African Lab Shoulder, rubbed with Ras el Hanout, with reduced pan juices Cauliflower tabbouleh with pomegranate seeds Maakouda batata (Moroccan potato cakes) Roasted date and tahini glazed carrots I've decided Saturdays I'm going to cook as if I was throwing a dinner party, but just for the hubster and I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 15, 2020 Author Share Posted August 15, 2020 LAMB!! I meant LAMB!! lol Ohmygosh, we ended up getting on a roll and cleaning the whole house, top to bottom - I'm talking the wiping picture frames, dusting the spare room, all books off the bookcase kind of clean. It looks fabulous (and we can't even have people over, WAH!) But all I ate was a bowl of Thai pumpkin soup and now I have tummy rumbles. Might grab the last tuna patty with some mayo and a handful of olives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 15, 2020 Author Share Posted August 15, 2020 I just went and re-read my Round 5 (title says round 4) diary from the round that finished about 8 weeks ago. I tell you, it feels like YEARS ago. I had to keep checking dates. Ugh. Man I'm a starry eyed idiot when I'm on round LOL. Damn I can't wait to be feeling that good again. Maybe this time (unlike the last 5) it will stick? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 15, 2020 Author Share Posted August 15, 2020 Oh lordy, this meal: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 16, 2020 Author Share Posted August 16, 2020 Morning! So glad we did the huge house clean yesterday, today is totally open. Not sure what to do with it, but the option for nothing is nice. I still have vertigo and a headache. I feel quite sandbagged even after decent sleep. Going back over previous diaries, I have a week or so of that to go. I just counted and its only been 8 weeks since I stopped being 100% compliant, how fast the back slide is! Today's food: M1: Left over lamb and cauliflower tabbouleh M2: Seared skirt steak with jalapeno chimmichurri, grilled sweet potato rounds, sauteed broccolini, brussels, and wilted balsamic spinach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 16, 2020 Author Share Posted August 16, 2020 Lunch ended up being a leftover buffet of the lamb, potato cakes, tabbouleh, lemon and garlic chicken drums and the potatoes. We served it up and sat at the counter and it genuinely felt like we went out (Iso is really getting to us, clearly!) I had a bit of lamb, a drumstick, a bit of potato cake and a big serve of tabbouleh. YUM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Contessa Posted August 16, 2020 Share Posted August 16, 2020 This meal looks amazing! We'll be right over for leftovers.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 16, 2020 Author Share Posted August 16, 2020 9 hours ago, Contessa said: This meal looks amazing! We'll be right over for leftovers.... You're more than welcome, in my true form I still cooked like there were 7 people coming for dinner LOL! Plus when you slow cook something like a lamb shoulder, there's zero point doing a small one heh. Leftovers for days!! Monday again, hey? I can't believe that we've only been under hard lockdown 2 weeks now. it feels like forever. Only a week and a half since all but the essential stores closed, even. But at least the numbers are coming down. I'm starting to get really worried about Christmas though, because the border to my home state is still closed and has been since April and I'm worried I'm not going to be able to go home. The consensus seems to be that that is going to be the case, and that just breaks my heart. Anywhoo. I said to the hubster this morning that when I have to go back to the office (not this side of new year's by the looks) I won't know how to work in anything but PJ pants lol. Hopefully they'll be a smaller size at least. Today's goal is 30 minutes on the elliptical. Exercise is my massive failing at the moment, I'm waiting for a new strap for my Fitbit but I'd be surprised if I'm hitting 1000 steps a day, when before Covid I was hitting 10k a day without adding in additional exercise (just walking to and from the train for work, walking on lunch break etc). It's making a huge difference to my weight, and I need to get on top of that. Plus, all the sitting about is making me still and unflexible. So I still have vertigo but I think it's lessening. I'm not sleeping well yet, which is disappointing (hoping exercise will help that too). I also still have the gastric distress part of the first week or so. Don't get me wrong - I'm feeling good for having been back on top of it, but I'm in that between part where I'm not yet feeling amazing. Today's food: Meal 1: Thai soup with leftover shredded lamb Meal 2: we haven't had pork in a while so I'm thinking that, but not sure of context or sides yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 17, 2020 Author Share Posted August 17, 2020 No idea if W30 related or just *gestures vaguely at world* but today I'm really stressy, anxious, angry, tired and despairing. I'm "at work" and I just want to be on the couch. Or even better, somewhere, ANYWHERE else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 17, 2020 Author Share Posted August 17, 2020 Vertigo is BAAAAAAAAD today. Very bad. Very light-headed, motor skills are terrible, headache and my whole body feels like gravity is 5x what it should be. This better start getting better soon. Dinner is pork steaks and veg - nothing high effort, not feeling like this. Might even be a frozen veg kind of night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchrodingersCat Posted August 17, 2020 Author Share Posted August 17, 2020 Dinner was a bit disappointing, pork steaks, roasted veg medley (cauli, brocc, carrot, fennel, radishes) in Zat'ar seasoning, and fennel and pepita pesto on the pork. Well, my homemade pesto must have started to ferment, it was funky! I didn't notice until I'd smothered the pork of course. Scraped it off, but it was just a bit weird. Not off, but definitely not right. I really hope I get a decent sleep tonight, I'm not hitting that W30 sleep I love so much yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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