Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Brewer5

Brewer5: A Fresh Start

Recommended Posts

Give me an instant pot, and suddenly I can throw all sorts of delicious stuff together!   :lol:

 

This is some kind of chuck roast, 1/2 package of chicken stock, TJ's chopped veggie mix, and basic spices.  ~45 minutes later -- the kids were fighting over it.  haha

 

IMG_4010.jpeg

 

...No seriously... I hardly got any at all.   :mellow:   Next time: two of them go in there!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you, Blissful. And now I feel the need to publicly clarify that NO RAGRETS is from a movie. Lol.

I do know how to spell! ;)

 

 

Bah! You ruined it!

 

Ok, well since the cat's out of the bag:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 I feel so amazing, so mentally and emotionally clear and stable -- I wish I had never deviated from this when my keto Whole 30 ended almost a year ago.  However... it is through that wandering that I've been able to reassess and solidify my plan.  So no ra-grets, people.  No Ragrets.   :)

 

I don't intend for this to sound obnoxious but it will.  I totally respect and admire how far you've come... which is why I'm asking: last year, why did you stop?  This is what gets me about W30, keto, whatever... eventually almost everyone stops and goes back to "before".  But I don't know why.  I do it too.  I feel so much better on W30 but I go back to eating nothing but fruit and cheese.  And during really bad times Reddi Whip.  I'm asking this from a intellectual angle - what are your thoughts on why you/one deviates from a plan that makes them feel best?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't intend for this to sound obnoxious but it will.  I totally respect and admire how far you've come... which is why I'm asking: last year, why did you stop?  This is what gets me about W30, keto, whatever... eventually almost everyone stops and goes back to "before".  But I don't know why.  I do it too.  I feel so much better on W30 but I go back to eating nothing but fruit and cheese.  And during really bad times Reddi Whip.  I'm asking this from a intellectual angle - what are your thoughts on why you/one deviates from a plan that makes them feel best?

 

 

Oh, I don't think it sounds obnoxious.  :)  

 

Here's the thing.  

 

It took me awhile to get here -- and most of my struggles are recorded here on the Whole 30 forum.  The written ones can be found by searching for any thread that contains "Brewer5" in the title.  The unwritten ones are recorded in my periods of absence.  If I wasn't here a lot, I wasn't on-track with Whole 30 eating.  Period.  

 

I went off and did my own things.  I read books, I explored, I traveled.  I lifted a lot of weight and built a lot of muscle, while eating a lot of bullshit.  Not literal bullshit -- that probably would have been healthier.   :lol:

 

If you were to look at a timeline of my past few years:

 

October 2012:  Started "Paleo" and did all the wrong things with fruits, nuts, butters, recipes

 

June 2013:  Quit smoking for good, and gave in to a lot of dumb cravings for sugar

 

May 2014:  Did my first Whole 30, and ate too many carrots & homemade sunbutter

 

~ here is where I read Carb Nite and Carb Backloading and really got into Kiefer's stuff ~

 

June 2014:  Already felt like crap and had a failed attempt at Whole 30 #2 when I HAD to have heavy cream in my coffee at Starbucks on Day 11

 

September 2014:  REALLY felt like crap and got on-board with Karen for a serious Whole 30 #2, where I excluded nuts and seeds completely -- but allowed a potato every night to keep cravings at bay.  (Well, this was my theory.)

 

~ I read Jimmy Moore's Keto Clarity during this Whole 30, and I decided to pursue a ketogenic diet pretty much as soon as it was over.  Somewhere in here, I also read both of Phinney & Volek's books. ~

 

October-November 2014:  I had a 30-day stretch which was my first attempt at ketosis.  I was completely and utterly derailed by someone on Kiefer's forum mentioning lemon cheesecake (which I have never had in my life).  I decided I MUST have cheesecake.  Of course, all my "friends" there gave me a pat on the back and told me it was time for a Carb Nite.  

 

January 2015:  I felt awful after the Holidays, my blood sugar was wacky, and I showed up here for my Keto Whole 30.  I did this on my own -- I had never talked to kirkor in my life.  We just happened to be here with our keto threads at the same time.

 

February 2015:  I can go back to my log and see just exactly where things fell apart.  My husband's grandpa died, and we went on a trip.  I ate vacation food.  I enjoyed it.  It was relaxing.  And all of those old addictions were re-awakened.  I put away my monitors and didn't really use them for most of this year.

 

November 2015:  Back on track with keto, and I can say for good this time.

 

--------

 

So how can I say "for good"?  What makes it different now?

 

Well, it is a combination of things.  But #1 -- I realize that this carb addiction is no different than my addiction to nicotine.

 

I cannot have "a smoke" and I cannot have "some ice cream".  It doesn't work that way.

 

I understand a lot more now about what is going on in my brain.  I understand a lot more about what is going on with my blood sugar.  I understand a lot more about how it is all tied together.

 

I've read Grain Brain and Brain Maker, and I know that Dr. Perlmutter is in favor of a ketogenic diet.  

 

I see the medications my mom is taking, and I see her diagnoses, and I am tired of messing around with my health.  I'm over it.  I guess you could say, I've grown up.  

 

I've reached a point where my lifting is going to take a backseat to my #1 priority -- which is my health.  Physical, mental, emotional.  I cannot explain to you how much different I feel now that I am free of the carbohydrates.  

 

Does it really matter how many pounds of weight I can bench or deadlift, if I am turning around and filling my body with junk?  If I feel out of control cravings that "I must" have this, or this, or this?

 

There is no amount of weight on my spreadsheet that is worth going back to that.  Who sees my numbers anyway?  I do.

 

And a HUGE part of this journey is learning that I really just need to be accountable to ME.  I love the conversation here, and I appreciate my friends.  But at the end of the day -- what matters most is that I am doing what works best for my body.  No one else can decide that.

 

--------

 

I've thought about digging up all of those BIG statements that I've made at the end of my Whole 30's... and showing how easily I got tripped up.  I think it is really important for people to realize that -- as long as you are playing by someone else's rules -- you will not have control over your own situation.  You gotta dig deep, and you gotta do that for yourself.  It's the only way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 I'm asking this from a intellectual angle - what are your thoughts on why you/one deviates from a plan that makes them feel best?

 

Summary:  Because they do not fully understand the powerful effect that these deviations have on their brains, and so -- they think they can control it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Forgot to post this "rack of pork" we found at Costco on our exploration of the meat department for new and exciting things:

 

IMG_7353.jpg

 

I don't know what seasonings they had on it -- but it was pretty awesome!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok, so you fully anticipate eating this way forever?  There is no part of you that will miss non-keto things?  This is where I get mad, maybe, is the right word...?  I'm not sure.  I would like to move to a farm/commune and grow our own food and raise our own animals blah blah and never see another pop tart or can of reddi whip in my life (reddi autocorrects to reddit now... uy yuy yuy).  I'd like to never have to be the "weird one" on "some crazy diet" where all I eat is food (though I'm the only one who perceives it as a diet of food).  But because non-food-foodlike-stuff is all there is in this world and all that most people eat ,it is always just a little bit of a struggle and an effort to not eat those foods.  And because no matter how much I know reddi whip is NOT good for me, I'm not going to lie - I like the taste of it (or maybe I like the feeling of eating it...) <-- X that.  Let's go with my MIL's homemade bread.  She makes it herself.  She kneads it and lets it sit and makes it with a little lard (that I gave her :) )... its good old fashioned bread.  And with butter (that she makes from her dairy cow) on it I think I could eat it forever and ever and ever.  But I can't.  Not when I have decided to not eat gluten and not eat dairy.  And that makes me a little sad.  And then I start to think of the W30 as  "diet".  Or maybe I think, ok, I'll go keto and at least eat the butter.  On melted cheese crisps or something.  And then that just seems stupid too.  And so... back I go to my old ways because I just can't see W30, keto, whatever... FOREVER.

 

Probably because of you (sorry) I found myself really restricting carbs for a few days (though it wasn't really low since I eat so many veggies - but no potatoes, winter squash, etc)... and I thought that I don't want to never eat a potato again.  I don't want potatoes to be bad.  I don't want to never eat an orange again.  I don't want to be afraid of the 12g of carbs in my kombucha or an onion.  

 

Ok, I'm just rambling.  I don't even really know what I'm feeling this angst over.  Perhaps my summary is: I think I'm terribly envious of your food freedom but feel like, at this time, the cost of it is too high.  Is keto really the only way to do it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They were good!  I bet yours your better - I didn't seem to use as much oil in the pan so they were more baked almost... but tasty and easy :)

 

Yes, mine were swimming in coconut oil ~ and today, also drizzled with duck fat!  

 

YUM.  :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thinking of you, Carla ~ this is Canadian!   :lol:

 

IMG_1026.jpeg

 

Let me guess - it's also from Quebec.  It looks delicious.  I have not seen this brand before - I am going to have to hunt around for it.  The way the ducks are raised looks a bit better than the brand I am currently buying.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

littleg..........  We are at different points on our journey, for sure.

 

Did you see the day where my signature was:

 

"Comparing myself to others never ends well. Either I fall short, and am miserable, or I surpass them in an area, and am prideful."

 

That was sort of for you.  Because I see your struggle.  I see it... perhaps more clearly than you can even see it yourself.  And I hate it for you.

 

I want everyone to have peace with food.  You are not at peace.  There is a lot of emotion tied into the equation right now.  Attachments.  

 

And I do understand it.  I've been there.

 

BUT.  I started my timeline here with "Paleo".  The reality is that my timeline goes WAY back.  

 

It goes back to an upset stomach all through childhood.  It goes back to "accidents" not being close enough to a bathroom as an adult.  So it goes back to a lot of fear and anxiety, a lot of negative emotions surrounding food -- because I didn't know what was causing it, and I didn't know what I could do or not do to make it better.

 

I have been working at healing my own body for about 14 years.  I learned about Candida and cut out all sugar (and yes, that includes fruit) waaaay back then.  That is also when I first learned the dangers of gluten and dairy.  So none of this is really new to me.

 

Over the years -- you gotta picture I had three boys in 5.5 years -- things got crazy and I was in survival mode for awhile.

 

I've made mistakes, I've learned from them, I've made them again......  I've felt good, I've felt bad, I've been on cloud 9 and I have been pretty low.

 

So I can take ALL of this information I have gathered -- from books, from websites, podcasts, but most importantly, from my own body...  And I really can make educated decisions regarding food, without the emotional attachments.

 

Do I enjoy my food?  Sure I do!  You see me posting pictures here -- because I LOVE how I am eating.  I LOVE how I feel.

 

But -- and here is the difference -- you could take any of these things away from me right now and I would not freak out.  I told someone recently, I could be lost in the woods for 2 weeks and I really wouldn't be worried about food.  I mean, really.  I'd eat whatever I could find -- and it would be okay.  I know that.

 

Is keto the only way?  Well, it seems to be the only way for me.  Is it the only way for you?  I think you'd have to experience that for yourself to find out.

 

But it has to be a choice.  The minute you start telling yourself you "can't" have this, or you "can't" have that -- it's over.   You know this.  

 

I DECIDE not to have things.  I can have ~whatever I want~ in the whole damn city -- but I choose not to.  I think that is a really important part of the process.

 

I am not "on a Whole 30" ...  The only rules are my own.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@littleg for me I've been able to use the metaphor/image of "closing the door" on gluten, even before Whole30.  I read Wheat Belly and Grain Brain and that was enough for me to make a permanent change even though I'm not celiac.

However my sugar dragon is still very much my nemesis.  But like Moriarity to Holmes, he's not always around and fighting me ... but he's definitely there lurking in the shadows.  Keto seemed like just the ticket for killing that sugar dragon for good ... but I haven't *yet* successfully used my door-closing metaphor on sugar.  I haven't had an issue all year with not partaking in potatoes, legumes, non-gluten grains like rice and corn, etc., but sugar is what keeps sneaking back in, primarily through chocolate and hard cider.

 

Because of the whole "abstainer/mdoerator" thing (I'm an abstainer I think, which is why I like Whole30s, intermittent fasting, keto, etc) my current plan is to avoid all chocolate for at least 6 months, that way I can ebb and flow through Whole30, post-Whole30, off-roading, strict keto, lazy keto, etc., and still try to get that "door closed" on chocolate at least and then I'll be in a stronger place to kick all sugar out for good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And see, kirkor is the one who suggested 100% unsweetened baking chocolate to me ~ when I was trying to ease from 90% into a 95-99% chocolate.

 

So kirkor -- I assume you are not struggling with baking chocolate?  Or do you feel the need to cut it out for 6 months, as well?

 

The amount I eat at night with my one ounce of mac nuts has 3.5g carbs -- and 2.5g of that is fiber.   :blink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok, so you fully anticipate eating this way forever?  There is no part of you that will miss non-keto things?  This is where I get mad, maybe, is the right word...?  I'm not sure.  I would like to move to a farm/commune and grow our own food and raise our own animals blah blah and never see another pop tart or can of reddi whip in my life (reddi autocorrects to reddit now... uy yuy yuy).  I'd like to never have to be the "weird one" on "some crazy diet" where all I eat is food (though I'm the only one who perceives it as a diet of food).  But because non-food-foodlike-stuff is all there is in this world and all that most people eat ,it is always just a little bit of a struggle and an effort to not eat those foods.  And because no matter how much I know reddi whip is NOT good for me, I'm not going to lie - I like the taste of it (or maybe I like the feeling of eating it...) <-- X that.  Let's go with my MIL's homemade bread.  She makes it herself.  She kneads it and lets it sit and makes it with a little lard (that I gave her :) )... its good old fashioned bread.  And with butter (that she makes from her dairy cow) on it I think I could eat it forever and ever and ever.  But I can't.  Not when I have decided to not eat gluten and not eat dairy.  And that makes me a little sad.  And then I start to think of the W30 as  "diet".  Or maybe I think, ok, I'll go keto and at least eat the butter.  On melted cheese crisps or something.  And then that just seems stupid too.  And so... back I go to my old ways because I just can't see W30, keto, whatever... FOREVER.

 

Probably because of you (sorry) I found myself really restricting carbs for a few days (though it wasn't really low since I eat so many veggies - but no potatoes, winter squash, etc)... and I thought that I don't want to never eat a potato again.  I don't want potatoes to be bad.  I don't want to never eat an orange again.  I don't want to be afraid of the 12g of carbs in my kombucha or an onion.  

 

Ok, I'm just rambling.  I don't even really know what I'm feeling this angst over.  Perhaps my summary is: I think I'm terribly envious of your food freedom but feel like, at this time, the cost of it is too high.  Is keto really the only way to do it?

 

Hi Littleg - I want to hug you right now and tell you that it will be okay.  Because these types of questions - we all go through them at some point - and we all have to figure out the difficult things.  This is the part of the whole 30 that is truly hard.  Yes you learn that these foods bother you - but the problem is that we LIKE these foods.  Sometimes we even LOVE these foods.  They have.... sentimental value to us.  

 

Last year I went through some body love coaching.  And although the thought of going through body love coaching makes me cringe so badly - it was an eye opening experience for sure.  Why?  At some point you give permission to eat whatever the h*ll you want - without judgement, without value.  There is no good or bad foods. And then you come to a place where you eat whatever you want. It takes time to get to this place though.

 

For instance - I react very badly to dairy - all dairy.  Doesn't matter what it is - I am very sensitive to it.  Almost nothing dairy is worth it.  My MIL makes the most amazing lasagna - sauce, sausage, and pasta are all homemade.  She only makes it for special occasions.  Once or twice a year I would give myself total permission to eat it, without guilt and just accept the consequences.  It used to be worth it for me.  Now - it's not.  I don't even truly enjoying it.  I am more eating it to make someone else happy (my MIL) then for me.  As soon as I got to this point - I was like - okay - I still give myself permission to eat it, but I also give myself permission to turn it down despite my MIL's disappointment.  (I'm a people pleaser by nature - so this totally bothers me)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So kirkor -- I assume you are not struggling with baking chocolate?  Or do you feel the need to cut it out for 6 months, as well?

No, M&M's are my kryptonite, which is DAMN SILLY because I already know that peanuts do not agree with me. HHrrrrmmmmmm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No, M&M's are my kryptonite, which is DAMN SILLY because I already know that peanuts do not agree with me. HHrrrrmmmmmm

 

You know, I remember you talking about M&M's before -- now that you say that.

 

On my son's Feingold program, we learned that the dyes they use here in the US are basically the same thing as paint.  Which all comes from petroleum.  Mmmmm.  Sign me up!   :wacko:

 

In Europe, the dyes they use on M&M's here are banned.  They have to use natural things like beets, carrots, etc. for coloring.  

 

These dyes are a serious problem for people who are sensitive.  ...If that helps at all, with your door shutting.  Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi SNE ~ and welcome!   :)

 

I saw your comment elsewhere and it has been on my mind -- so I will mention it here.

 

Chapter 18 of Keto Clarity is called "Emerging Areas of Research on the Use of Ketones" -- and one of those sections is called "Alopecia and Hair Loss":

 

"Some people think that a ketogenic diet is the cause of hair loss -- mostly because some people get too few calories on this diet, which can cause hair loss.  But if you're getting enough calories, it's not an issue with a ketogenic diet.  Even better, wellness expert Maria Emmerich says she has seen hundreds of clients who suffered from alopecia for years suddenly grow a full head of hair on a ketogenic diet.  It's a condition with potentially positive results that is certainly worth further research."

 

I am not here to try to convince anyone to do anything.  We all have to make our own choices.  However, I am here to share what I've learned and help people who want to become educated.  When I see these hair loss comments, I know that ~something~ else is wrong with the big picture.  A well-formulated ketogenic diet (with plenty of food & plenty of FAT) should not be causing hair loss.  There are so many other factors.

 

I have experienced major hair loss in the past -- where we found it in the hair brush, tangled up in the vacuum cleaner, clogging up the shower, in the dryer filter, etc etc --  You get the idea.  

 

I just have to say that this has not been a problem for me for years -- probably since we discovered Paleo -- and if anything, it has been my experience that I see even less hair loss when I am on a ketogenic diet.  MeadowLily has mentioned this to me in the past, and it simply is not the case for me.  I have very long hair (almost down to my waist now) -- and when I comb it out after a shower, sometimes I get NO hairs in the comb.  Like, none.   :blink:  It surprises me every time.  

 

Now, I am not discounting your experience at all -- I just have to wonder if you were really eating lots of fat to make up for the absence of carbohydrate?  I mean, LOTS.  He explains things so well in the book...  And it is generally when people are not eating enough overall -- and/or not eating enough FAT -- that problems begin to arise.  So these are not necessarily a problem with "keto" -- but more, a problem with how it is being formulated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you had your spinach today?

 

IMG_6716.jpeg

 

We are going through greens like CRAZY at my house!  This is cooked up in lots of duck fat.  Awesome!   :)

 

There are so many great amounts of nutrients you can get, simply by adding spinach to anything and everything:

 

Screen%20Shot%202015-12-19%20at%2011.55.

 

http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=43

 

Have a great weekend, everyone!  :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know, I remember you talking about M&M's before -- now that you say that.

 

On my son's Feingold program, we learned that the dyes they use here in the US are basically the same thing as paint.  Which all comes from petroleum.  Mmmmm.  Sign me up!   :wacko:

 

In Europe, the dyes they use on M&M's here are banned.  They have to use natural things like beets, carrots, etc. for coloring.  

 

These dyes are a serious problem for people who are sensitive.  ...If that helps at all, with your door shutting.  Good luck!

So, I should just make sure to eat European M&M's? ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, I should just make sure to eat European M&M's? ;)

 

I thought about making a joke about that -- "maybe jmcbn could send you some!" -- but then, I know this is something you really want to conquer, so....  I wasn't going to put that idea in your head!    :lol:   haha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites