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LucieB

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Stegner and Cotteagequeen

"I stopped trying to talk about it to people who were experiencing back pain because it made them mad. They could accept that it might be true for others, but for themselves..."

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There always will be skeptics, Or people that are more comfortable not challenging their beliefs. Some do not have an inquisitive mind and don't want to expose themselves in thinking that there might be "another way"

In the same spirit of Sarno, or at least the same mind/body approach, Jo Marchant in her book "Cure" is right up that alley! 

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WholeChristina - A private yoga class sounds more intimidating to me, thanks for the perspective and story about your experience. 

I'm catching up on the links and books and videos shared this week, thanks to everyone who posts those. Slowly working through them. I enjoy getting the new ideas. And I have one to share.

 

I found a new-to-me podcast yesterday called 'Small Changes, Big Shifts'  and in the second episode the podcaster talked to a woman named Sonia Choquette about "taking it to heart". Going to need some explaining here first though...

 

I've been pushing myself to change some habits (not all Whole30 related, some very personal) these past few weeks, but the push has been mechanical. I'm going through the motions of change right now, so the new habits don't stick and don't have meaning. For the past week, I've been thinking on why I'm feeling this way, why I'm doing this, what my goals mean to me. Lots of thinking, lots of head stuff. 

 

It's like a self sabotage? But it's more than that really, I don't like ME after I do these things. I get frustrated and down, not mad, but like UGH this is not who I want to be. Why do I keep making the same mistakes? We are what we repeatedly do, right? I tell myself I'm human, humans make mistakes. But when you know exactly what you need to do and how to do it, yet you don't do it, well dang it, it's frustrating!! 

 

The podcast discussion talked about resolutions, how to stay in the present moment, how to get out of your head, about using your HEART for change and being connected. After some thinking, I'm seeing that I'm not taking my stated goals to heart. They're in my HEAD, but not in my heart. And my head is a harsh place to be sometimes. 

 

To make a one hour podcast short (and skipping over most of what the podcast was about!), the discussion talked about moving your thoughts and goals to your heart. Taking some phrases from third podcast: "to become more connected to what I'm doing", to be more present in my daily life". Think I might go back and listen to these again. To absorb more. I'm really skimming and paraphrasing here. 

 

This weekend is Valentine's Day, so what a neat confluence of heart thoughts and a heart holiday!

 

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On a less serious note, my recipes for the weekend are selected. A new Eritrean/Ethiopian restaurant opened near me and every menu item has onion and garlic, so even though I love those foods they are a no-no for this FODMAPer. Looked online and found recipes to modify. Green peppers stuffed with ground beef and butternut squash spiced with berbere; a cabbage, carrot, potato (tikil gomen); and spicy chicken (tsebhi derho). These are usually served with teff-based injera, a gluten-free grain, and I haven't decided if I'll buy some some for my week or invent a potato-based version? Or just use a fork! This site has great pictures of the foods I'm talking about

 

As per my February FODMAP goals, cabbage will be my test next week. The Monash site on FODMAP research says to try up to 1 cup. I'll go heavy on the carrots and potatoes in the recipe  :)

 

Happy Friday, Happy Weekend, and Happy Valentine's Day!!

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I don't know if that's your dog, WholeChristina, but when I read your post, I was thinking of how dogs have that body reading skill. - in spades. They're used to paying close attention. My dog is a rescue, with abuse in his background, and I see him doing this all the time. I have learned to pay close attention to him as well, looking for signs of fear that could lead to bad behavior. I think this has some application to the changes I'm trying to make. This month, paying close attention to body feedback and thoughts and feelings around eating.

 

I completely agree ... dogs are amazing "readers."  This is my dog (almost 10 years old) and we just love him to pieces.  You can't help but be-in-the-moment when you are with a dog.  Belly rubbing, throwing a ball, talking a walk ... it just makes (us both) happy.  He picks up on my body language too.  I can just think about playing with him and he starts jumping around.  Drives my husband nuts  ;)

 

I love that you have a rescue.  Our next dog will be a rescue too.  We had special circumstance and chose not to rescue this last time, but have before and will again!  Dogs (and animals) are so amazing.  We can all learn from them.

 

I like your focus for this month.  Food and feeling are so connected for me too.  Whole30 brought a lot of it to light.

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It's like a self sabotage? But it's more than that really, I don't like ME after I do these things. I get frustrated and down, not mad, but like UGH this is not who I want to be. Why do I keep making the same mistakes? We are what we repeatedly do, right? I tell myself I'm human, humans make mistakes. But when you know exactly what you need to do and how to do it, yet you don't do it, well dang it, it's frustrating!! 

 

 

 

Sounds like you are reading my mind too.  I have so many similar thoughts/experiences.  You are not alone!  

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LucieB

Definitely not alone on making the same mistakes over and over again

I am there too on some things

Cant understand why some things have gone so downhill / out of control when I used to be so good at them 

Think you are absolutely right - I'm just thinking things will change rather than fully committing the heart to them 

I don't know how many times I have said to myself - I will try harder tomorrow / it will get better tomorrow when really I just have to stop the tomorrow excuse and actually do it now   

Thanks for sharing - you have picked me up re my mistakes - maybe / hopefully / definitely a turning point

Hope you guys have a nice valentines - I'll give my boys a hug - that will be about the height of my loving involvement !!

Z

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Good morning everyone!  It's so nice to read back through the week and what I have missed.  Thanks to everyone for sharing all the things.  I listened to the video about how we respond to stress and it really helps me to understand that some of what I'm dealing with is due to the changes I am working so hard on.  This past week at work was so stressful that it ended in an anxiety attack yesterday afternoon.  I had to walk away from work a few hours early and it took me a long time to "come down" - breathe, slow my heart, still my mind.  I had a discouraging time of it this week and childishly felt like throwing in the towel and off-roading in a big way.  I didn't do that, and was able to calm down and communicate properly with my family, thank goodness.  I don't have anxiety attacks frequently, and find them disconcerting to say the least.  They typically come every few months and arise out of feelings of being overwhelmed, with no way to get out in front of things.  I am not giving in and going back to rut coping mechanisms this time, though.  I am going to continue to grow and learn and change instead.  I have a good foundation from the Whole 30 and will continue to eat compliant most of the time, mindfully off-roading when I want to participate in meals and social events where I suspect there is some incidental sugar or I want a glass of wine. 

 

I am still having so much trouble with sleep.  I know this isn't the sleep month but I am not sure how much longer I can stay on track and sustain personal growth without dealing with it.  I am using Natural Calm, which works pretty well, but not for long enough.  I ordered some Sleep Cocktail, recommended by Robb Wolf, and was just so frustrated when I got it and discovered it has fructose and Stevia in it.  Aaaand of course I'm allergic to ragweed ....chamomile, stevia, etc.  For goodness sake, these additives are just not needed!  I don't give a hoot what it tastes like and my tastebuds were overwhelmed with that fake sugar taste.  Yech. 

 

Anyway, I am wondering if anyone has any other natural sleep aids?  I am serious about this.  I need something that can break this cycle.  I am not going to do very well with my self improvement goals of better communication with loved ones and being more active, staying with my yoga and stretch and physical healing goals, if I am grimly forcing it....my heart is so tired! I feel very loving towards myself but battling just laying on the couch to try to rest.  That doesn't work for me....it leads to bad self-indulgence and feeling bad about myself...which brings more anxiety....the grim forcing myself to continue isn't sustainable. 

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>Anyway, I am wondering if anyone has any other natural sleep aids?

I've got a black sheet to hang over my window, and use earplugs too when needed. I like focused relaxation when I need to wind down and really get to sleep --- starting with my toes, moving to feet, ankles, etc. on up the line, thinking about them getting soft and releasing tension ... it's fun to play with imagery, like turning into a puddle as my various parts relax and sink into the bed.

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Good morning everyone!  It's so nice to read back through the week and what I have missed.  Thanks to everyone for sharing all the things.  I listened to the video about how we respond to stress and it really helps me to understand that some of what I'm dealing with is due to the changes I am working so hard on.  This past week at work was so stressful that it ended in an anxiety attack yesterday afternoon.  I had to walk away from work a few hours early and it took me a long time to "come down" - breathe, slow my heart, still my mind.  I had a discouraging time of it this week and childishly felt like throwing in the towel and off-roading in a big way.  I didn't do that, and was able to calm down and communicate properly with my family, thank goodness.  I don't have anxiety attacks frequently, and find them disconcerting to say the least.  They typically come every few months and arise out of feelings of being overwhelmed, with no way to get out in front of things.  I am not giving in and going back to rut coping mechanisms this time, though.  I am going to continue to grow and learn and change instead.  I have a good foundation from the Whole 30 and will continue to eat compliant most of the time, mindfully off-roading when I want to participate in meals and social events where I suspect there is some incidental sugar or I want a glass of wine. 

 

I am still having so much trouble with sleep.  I know this isn't the sleep month but I am not sure how much longer I can stay on track and sustain personal growth without dealing with it.  I am using Natural Calm, which works pretty well, but not for long enough.  I ordered some Sleep Cocktail, recommended by Robb Wolf, and was just so frustrated when I got it and discovered it has fructose and Stevia in it.  Aaaand of course I'm allergic to ragweed ....chamomile, stevia, etc.  For goodness sake, these additives are just not needed!  I don't give a hoot what it tastes like and my tastebuds were overwhelmed with that fake sugar taste.  Yech. 

 

Anyway, I am wondering if anyone has any other natural sleep aids?  I am serious about this.  I need something that can break this cycle.  I am not going to do very well with my self improvement goals of better communication with loved ones and being more active, staying with my yoga and stretch and physical healing goals, if I am grimly forcing it....my heart is so tired! I feel very loving towards myself but battling just laying on the couch to try to rest.  That doesn't work for me....it leads to bad self-indulgence and feeling bad about myself...which brings more anxiety....the grim forcing myself to continue isn't sustainable. 

lavender essential oil, lavender tea, Not only do I just love the smell, but it is very relaxing for me.and valarien.root. I drink a chamomile/lavender tea, but you can't have the chamomile.  yoga/meditation, f.lux on my computer and decrease tech at night along with a very dark bedroom.

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Hi Everyone,

I had to take a break from posting for awhile; my father died, and I needed to focus on my family. But I'm still here, and will start posting more soon. Happy Valentine's Day to all. Let's be loving to ourselves, and go off plan mindfully and purposefully.

I'm having steamed lobster, clams and artichoke. I probably will get chocolates, so I'll eat a few of my favorites.

Best,

Foodie

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Hi Everyone,

I had to take a break from posting for awhile; my father died, and I needed to focus on my family. But I'm still here, and will start posting more soon. Happy Valentine's Day to all. Let's be loving to ourselves, and go off plan mindfully and purposefully.

I'm having steamed lobster, clams and artichoke. I probably will get chocolates, so I'll eat a few of my favorites.

Best,

Foodie

Sorry about you father. Cyber hugs to you!

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Anyway, I am wondering if anyone has any other natural sleep aids?  I am serious about this.  I need something that can break this cycle.  I am not going to do very well with my self improvement goals of better communication with loved ones and being more active, staying with my yoga and stretch and physical healing goals, if I am grimly forcing it....my heart is so tired! I feel very loving towards myself but battling just laying on the couch to try to rest.  That doesn't work for me....it leads to bad self-indulgence and feeling bad about myself...which brings more anxiety....the grim forcing myself to continue isn't sustainable. 

I'm a bit like kirkor in that I relax from my toes up. I use the sleep cycle app on my phone & fall asleep to the sound of lapping waves, and with each wave hitting the shore I work my way up my body. I wear retainers at night and I can feel myself biting down on those as my head hits the pillow, but once my shoulders relax that must be me and I remember very little after - until I waken for the bathroom in the early hours which has been a lifetime habit. That said, when I first came to Whole30/9 I was wakening maybe 4 times a night so being back down to once again is a HUGE improvement.

I like the sleep cycle's alarm too - you set the time you wish to waken at, and it will waken you within a 30min of that time, when it figures you are in a very light sleep. Again the alarm is gentle, undulating & gets very gradually louder. Much better than getting woken by the sound of a fog horn or similar!!

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Hi Everyone,

I had to take a break from posting for awhile; my father died, and I needed to focus on my family. But I'm still here, and will start posting more soon. Happy Valentine's Day to all. Let's be loving to ourselves, and go off plan mindfully and purposefully.

I'm having steamed lobster, clams and artichoke. I probably will get chocolates, so I'll eat a few of my favorites.

Best,

Foodie

I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your Father - sending virtual hugs & hoping that you are working through the grieving process in order to heal.

Enjoy the lobster & clams - jealous much!!

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So sorry, Foodie.  Take good care of yourself.

 

Thanks to all for the advice on sleeping.  I spent most of yesterday in repose and ended up trying the Sleep Cocktail again last night to see how bad the effects would be from the Stevia.  Results:  I slept for 9 hours and 33 minutes, which reflects a 10 hour period.  I was awake twice and 14 times restless which accounted for the 28 minutes.  (My fitbit gives a comprehensive report).  I feel the sleep was of better quality as I had some vivid dreams and this is always an indicator. As a comparison, my typical night is asleep about 7 hours, 26 minutes, which reflects 4 times awake and 19 times restless.  My sleep quality I measure subjectively by my state of consciousness I wake.  Usually it's the wee hour (great play on words) trip that means I wake at least once, or tossing and turning to find a way to lay there that doesn't hurt or feel tense.  If when I become conscious I am thinking about work problems, I know I haven't really rested and detached myself from stress.  If I dream about things which I choose to be working on for self-improvement, then my heart is engaged in the dream and I feel that my mind has let go and my brain is truly resting.  Last night I dreamed of (don't laugh) a zombie apocalypse in which the key players were clearly representative of family members.  So, true rest by my standards.

 

Unfortunately, my eyes are itchy and swollen.  I'm already doing all the sleep hygiene things, even to the lavender essential oil, but have never tried the valerian root tea.   A walk to the tea store is in order!  I sent a PM to Robb Wolf to find out just how much stevia is in the packet; if I don't have other symptoms perhaps I will use the Sleep Cocktail to establish good sleep, alternating it with the Natural Calm product,  Once I feel truly rested, perhaps my own sleep cycle will kick in and I will be beyond this stuck place.

 

Zoe and LucieB-Thank you so much for sharing!  It is, I suppose, the human condition that we do things which are bad for us to cope with feeling bad.  It's such an effort to change, to make good choices when we are bombarded by messaging and brain mechanisms to seek faux comforts.  Let's not any of us be too hard on ourselves.  My own dad, who has been gone for 15 years this Spring, made a lot of mistakes in life but taught me 2 things which have made me a survivor - first, a belief that I could do anything!  Second, that I can stumble and fall but what counts is the fact I pull myself up "by the boot-straps" and keep going.

 

Happy Valentines Day, all. 

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Foodie - so sorry about your father. There are no words to describe the loss. I lost my mom last year suddenly and I can tell you that, while I still miss her, the hurt does soften. Some days I still cry and I allow myself to do that. Please take care of yourself and know there is no right or wrong way to grieve. You take all of the time you need. Sending love!!! xo

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Hi Everyone,

I had to take a break from posting for awhile; my father died, and I needed to focus on my family. But I'm still here, and will start posting more soon. Happy Valentine's Day to all. Let's be loving to ourselves, and go off plan mindfully and purposefully.

I'm having steamed lobster, clams and artichoke. I probably will get chocolates, so I'll eat a few of my favorites.

Best,

Foodie

Sorry to hear about your father

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Hi Everyone,

I had to take a break from posting for awhile; my father died, and I needed to focus on my family. But I'm still here, and will start posting more soon. Happy Valentine's Day to all. Let's be loving to ourselves, and go off plan mindfully and purposefully.

I'm having steamed lobster, clams and artichoke. I probably will get chocolates, so I'll eat a few of my favorites.

Best,

Foodie

I am so sorry for your loss.

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I'm a bit like kirkor in that I relax from my toes up. I use the sleep cycle app on my phone & fall asleep to the sound of lapping waves, and with each wave hitting the shore I work my way up my body. I wear retainers at night and I can feel myself biting down on those as my head hits the pillow, but once my shoulders relax that must be me and I remember very little after - until I waken for the bathroom in the early hours which has been a lifetime habit. That said, when I first came to Whole30/9 I was wakening maybe 4 times a night so being back down to once again is a HUGE improvement.

I like the sleep cycle's alarm too - you set the time you wish to waken at, and it will waken you within a 30min of that time, when it figures you are in a very light sleep. Again the alarm is gentle, undulating & gets very gradually louder. Much better than getting woken by the sound of a fog horn or similar!!

I love my light alarm, got it last year and have loved it ever since. It works like the sun, even has a setting that dims the light like sunset at bed time then the alarm starts the light from dim to bright for waking up. Has the option for sound to. I have morning frogs/birds singing. Very gentle effective alarm.

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I made some headway on my personal growth goal for rejecting all-or-nothing thinking over the weekend. I was treated to fantastic Valentine's Day dinner. I ordered very well for my appetizer and entree - salad, filet, roasted vegetables - and then treated myself to a few bites of cheesecake for dessert. Maybe 5 bites? I can't remember the last time I left dessert on my plate or that eating it didn't trigger bingeing and purging.

 

I also feel good that the whole off-road eating experience was offset by the fact that we rode 30 miles to get to the town where the restaurant was and then rode home the next morning. (The fact that we had to wake up fairly early and ride was also incentive to be sure I didn't drink too much at dinner.)

 

I hope everyone else had a good weekend.

 

And Foodie - I am sorry to hear of your recent loss.

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Melimuse, I had a period of insomnia and anxiety in my late 40's that lasted some months. The feeling of being exhausted but wired, 24/7, was one of the worst experiences of my life. I remember having a sense of impending doom, and the feeling that everything was on me, that I had to do everything right or there would be disaster. At the time I was carrying a lot of responsibility without much help and had had a few recent experiences of having the rug pulled out from under me, and I was perimenopausal, which was probably a big factor. I did meditate at the time, although it was difficult. Someone told me to "let go, and let God", and although I am not a religious person, that was very helpful to me. It still is.

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"When was the last time you took stock of your beliefs, and compared them to what you actually know to be true? Not just a passing glance either, but a full-frontal look at exactly what you believe to be true, and comparing it to what you’re actually experiencing. If the two don’t match up, you’ve got work to do. This is where personal growth work comes in."

"It was with my own personal growth work that I realized this: I do not have to hold on to beliefs that I’ve proven to be false."

 

​I'm going to spend the next couple of days thinking about these things. I can really relate to what she says about the false belief that if I skip a workout or eat a less healthy food, I am going to be thrown completely off track and will loose all of the strength I have worked to get, and my genetics will kick in and all the health issues that run in my family will start manifesting themselves. I have proven this to be false so now I am working on connecting the brain to the heart so I can begin really living this and believing it. 

 

I'm sure I will have more realizations but this is one thing I really want to work on - giving myself a break if I feel like it would be best to sleep in over getting up at the crack of dawn to work out before heading to work.  Or not setting my alarm to go to the gym on the weekend and enjoying waking up naturally. Also, I will not die if I eat something less healthy. 

I have enjoyed, as always, reading ya'lls posts! I am quoting myself here because I had to go back and look at my intentions for this month. Time to really put my money where my mouth is. I went to the endocinologist yesterday because I have been dealing with a 3 year hiatus of my monthly cycle and my obgyn could not figure it out. It seems to be hypothalamic amenorrhea. She also told me I would need to stop doing my HIIT to get it back, which is what I kind of feared based on what I had read. So, starting next week, my workout regimen will be weights and walking because if my health is what's important to me I know I need to get back on track with my period. Will also work in some pilates or body flow. I will miss that adrenaline rush but I'm only 31 and I want to be able to have kids if I want to. This is more important to me than the fear of gaining body fat, which I know if I keep eating how I have, will not happen. I have proven it to be false. Also, my body will be under less stress which I AM looking forward to. Also, I saw my weight for the first time in a year and it was up 10 lbs. I had a mini freak out for a second and then thought about what I knew to be true: My weight can fluctuate throughout the day, I just ate lunch and had a cup of coffee and about 32 oz of water an hour before I was weighed, I have gone up a pant size but I believe this is from muscle gain, I feel amazing. My weight does not define me as a person and I don't plan on weighing myself again anytime soon. 

 

Personal growth, what what?!!! LOL xo

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