Megan C. Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 I'm very frustrated and trying to stay calm and understanding... I'm used to dealing with people making negative comments on my food choices, my exercise routine, my bicycle commute to work, etc. What I didn't expect was a good friend and co-worker, who more or less accepts my food choices with minimal mockery, would seriously freak out on me for not drinking alcohol! I went to a social event recently with several friends/co-workers and my live-in Whole30 supportive beau. The event centers on sampling some alcohol and being able to purchase cans of beer while walking around our local (small) zoo. There is live music and it's a great time at the zoo with an 18 and over crowd. I didn't drink that night because I was 7 days into my first Whole30. Everyone else did. Alcohol isn't a big temptation to me and I enjoy this event, so I didn't think twice about still going. I should also explain that even though I've considered myself "primal" for the past 2 years, I did still have wine, craft beer, and vodka tonics on occasion. Maybe once per week, sometimes 2x/week but not again for 3 weeks, etc. Very random and social, not regularly. So, back to the outing. The first time my group bought cans of beer, a couple people unaware of my eating/drinking habits, politely said "hey, you didn't get a drink; lemme get you a beer." I declined, said I was experimenting with an elimination diet, and conversation moved to a new topic. Cool, no judgment. Not so cool, was my very good friend and co-worker basically mocking me and asking several times "what is wrong with you!? why can't you just have fun?" I was caught off-guard, especially considering we're close and she knows my eating patterns. I awkwardly said "why does there have to be something wrong with me? I'm actually having a great time, do I seem like I'm not?" She responds that she didn't mean it like that (um, how DID you mean it) and that I just didn't need to be doing this in the summer. I didn't continue the line of conversation and went back to having a great time (errr... I think. lol). I was mildly disapointed my beau said nothing at all. He also works at the same company and knows this gal very well. Other than that, all was fine and proceeded as any normal evening out with good friends. The same "good friend" parked next to my beau and I - on our walk back to the car, she started in again the moment we parted from the rest of the group. She continued on with "why doyou have to be so weird?" Claiming she just wanted me to have fun and I shouldn't be denying myself things. She tried making a deal, saying she would be supportive - if I started this ridiculousness in September (it's end of June). I didn't say much as I was in shock this was happening. I've had people get weird on me before about declining beer, as though my not drinking - and not saying a damn word about it or the fact they are drinking - makes them TERRIBLY uncomfortable. Previously this happened with my sand volleyball team, so I didn't play on their team this year. This was a good friend and co-worker I see frequently at work... I wasn't going to just remove myself from her vicinity and criticism, as I did with the volley ball group, if this was going to be her new way to interact with me. I finally and firmly said "look it's only for 30 days, and then I'll drink a beer if I feel like it. I'm doing this right now for me. besides, you know I only like craft beer and don't drink that much anyway." (they only offered Bud, Bud light, Miller lite, etc) She wanted assurance that I would still be social with other people drinking and said I was making her sad. WTF? Who is the one acting ridiculous and uncomfortable here?! I honestly fail to see why this is a big deal. The ONLY difference is that I don't have a drink in my hand. I didn't do, say, or act any differently than I would have any other time. I don't even bring up that I'm not drinking unless someone insists on getting me one. I don't gloat. I don't make comments about them drinking. I'd sometimes forget about it altogether until someone mentions it. I do realize I went to an event that was set up to basically be an outdoor bar with animals and musicâ€¦ but can't I be there too? Do I have to drink alcohol to be there?! That's silly - it's just a non-issue. Well, for me. So, fellow primal/paleo/whole30 peeps. What gives? I'm sure we've all dealt with unsupportive, even downright rude comments for our choices. Have you ever had someone actually get upset and more or less try to start an argument with you about it? How do you deal with the more hostile comments and reactions? Is it worse here because I'm surrounded by corn and corn industry in my state and wheat/dairy in my adjacent states?! lol I was also a bit annoyed that my beau, responded with "she was just giving you a hard time" to my comment, "sheesh! what was up with _______ riding my ass like that tonight?" Do you catch more flak for declining food items or alcohol? Megan - Iowa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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