Wanting to help others - does anyone ever feel...sad?

[Snappy Shark]

In the roughly 30 days after my 30 days, I've been overwhelmed by the feeling to tell everyone in the world I know how amazing I feel, how happy I am and how they could probably alleivate x,y,z symptom by adopting a whole foods diet.

Unfortunately, there's a limited ability to evangelize this plan without sounding totally crazy, I'm finding. While I have discovered that some people are receptive, I find that I get frustrated when they aren't willing or ready to consider giving up all of the problematic foods. Specific examples of what I mean:

• My co-worker who was intrigued enough to read ISWF, and has incorporated some principals into her diet; but adamantly refuses to even try to go thirty days without booze;
  
• A very sick friend who has been plagued by an undiagnosed autoimmune disorder for months yet eats ice cream and Cheerios from her bed and will only consider trying out a "gluten-free" diet;
  
• Family members who feel better when they stop eating bread, but continue to sing the praises of beans and barley and red wine.
  

I wish that I could take a "glass half-full" perspective to these types of situations, because in all three cases, each of the mentioned people took some of what I had to say to heart, and are trying it out. That is so cool! But, the nature of this plan being all-or-nothing (and knowing from experience that it MUST be that way to work), I find that I get sad and frustrated to know that they won't be feeling the full benefit of eating clean without really jumping in and adopting strict Whole30/paleo principles. I'm especially concerned in the case of the sick friend, whose system is probably so screwed up at this point that she needs to eliminate way more than just the gluten to see any kind of relief - I'm worried that she will not feel any better, conclude that food is not causing her pain, and go right back to the SAD that is probably exacerbating her symptoms. (I gave her my copy of ISWF, so my fingers are crossed - I am very worried about her.)

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else ever feels sad or frustrated that we live in a world where there's soy, corn and wheat in EVERYTHING, and that you have to sound like a crazy person to insist that sweet potatoes and salmon are real foods, while granola and lowfat yogurt are not.

[Renee Lee]

Here you go:

http://robbwolf.com/2012/04/04/paleo-diet-convince-it/

[Tom Denham]

Sad is a good response. I get angry and frustrated. But most people aspire to very little.

[Susan W]

It's just too hard to convey what this is like. My pet peeve are people like my mom who sort of gets it, but then someone gets to her and she'll say "oh honey, if you just eat everything in moderate portions, you'll lose weight and be content". Hell no I won't. First, I have no weight to lose. It has nothing to do with that. Sigh. She's 86, so I don't engage with her OR anyone else. Especially her. Bless her heart.

The rest of "them", I go back and forth from being sad and frustrated like Tom said. I really just sort of want to choke them and say "JUST read this" and then we'll talk.

I want to shout it from the roof tops, but not sure it would be appreciated.

[jennrider]

Sometimes it has to be enough to plant a seed. My friend talked to me about Whole 30 in February. I listened all the while thinking I could not give up cheese, milk in my coffee and a few other things. A month or so later, I downloaded the ebook and started browsing the web site. My mom is gluten sensitive so we were already eating gluten-free. Her symptoms, while better, were not eliminated. I bought ISWF when it came out. My mom and I took the kids on a 3500 mile road trip this summer. There is a lot of time to read on a road trip. We both read ISWF and decided to give it a go once the kids were back in school. It took me 6 months to wrap my mind around it. I ran out of excuses. Maybe your friends/family just need a little time to absorb the info. They may never get there. You've done what you can for now. Be ready to offer advice should one of them take the plunge. I'm so glad I did and can't even imagine eating the amount of crap I ate before.

[Laura B]

You can lead a horse to water...

I know how you feel, just stay positive. Maybe they will come around in time. When I first heard of the Paleo diet I couldn't work up the nerve to try it. Took me a good 6-8 months before I felt like I could do it, and I considered myself a fairly healthy eater. It's tough. You have to understand that people have serious sugar/food addictions and it can be really overwhelming to just consider giving these things up even though they know they should.

[EllieBellie]

When I first started adapting my diet I went full pelt into an autoimmune protocol and you know what? I was friggin' miserable. The restriction was just too much in one go (I was still pescetarian too so definitely low on good energy).

I claimed it didn't work, and returned to my old ways. A few months after, I read up some more and cut sugar. Then I cut grains. Then I started eating meat again (took a while!) and gave up my previous protein sources of tofu and beans. Then I went Whole 30 . Now I drink booze and eat butter; optimal means different things to different people, and for me a weekly glass of red and dairy in my diet makes me happy and I'm still generally healthy.

What I'm trying to say is some folks need the softly-softly approach, and a gluten-free diet is still an immense improvement on a SAD. Instead of focusing on the things they aren't doing, focus and encourage their movements in the right direction ('Oh, you're gluten free? Brill, have this amazing frittata recipe!')

They'll come around: paleo eating is addictively good once you're hooked!

[Bridget]

It's a hard sell by just talking about it, unfortunately.

I was so excited to have my very good friend up from Maryland for the weekend. She and I have been through a lot, and have even been thru goofy diets together.I emailed her ahead of time to see if she currently has any dietary restrictions, preferences,etc. She is suffering from acid reflux, and has, since January when her sister died suddenly, had a lot of stress, sleep,skin issues,etc. Anyway, she did tell me that she has cut out sugar, chocolate, spicy stuff, soda, but is good w/ whole grain breads, rice, and potatoes.

I planned my weekend to be completely paleo for my husband and myself, with my own little plan for her in the back of my mind . I did buy a loaf of bread, but otherwise-she was eating what we ate. She only ate one sandwich, the first day she was here. As the weekend went on, she thoroughly enjoyed all our food-including ghee,homemade mayo, tons of veggies, chicken, flank steak, and sweet potatoes served at every breakfast. She was so excited, and slept thru the night each night she was here-first time in a year at least. She also had no indigestion or reflux issues while here. Friday we did some errands-which included a stop at a book store to get her own copy of ISWF, and order Well Fed. We tried two new recipes while she was here-she was thrilled to see my kids eat the jicama recipe from Well Fed. She made it, and they lovingly dubbed her "jicama Mama" for the weekend. Upon arriving home on Sunday afternoon, she went out and bought a grill top for her stove (I use mine constantly) and a mandolin slicer. She was SO pumped to start this up. Not sure if she'll do the Whole30 per say, but she left loaded with so much great information, and a positive and encouraged attitude. She treads a little lightly around her meat & potatoes hubby-but is going to incorporate more & more sweet potatoes and root vegetables-so eventually he won't miss a thing. It felt so great to talk with her about this, she was really receptive. But living and seeing it are truly more encouraging than just hearing about it for some people. Not sure she would have been as excited if I just told her about it on the phone.

Now to invite up another friend...

[NinjaSarah]

I do. I really want to share this with Everyone I know. But so many fixate on, Oh it's a new DIET. I even had one person, who Asked me what Whole9 was (I have the zombie apocalypse pic as my background right now and as soon as I said Temperance, she got this weird look on her face, said "That's interesting" ....It kind of pisses me off that she thinks it's a freakin 12 step kind of thing. I'm not an addict, temperance isn't Only connected to alcoholism...It's Moderation. Geez. Never occured to me someone might come to that conclusion...Oy! People!

Specifically I have a friend who would benefit immensely, I believe, from Whole30. She listens some, but I don't think she'll truly open her mind in time. Gallbladder is scheduled to be removed late November. She's not even sure she wants to do it. So I'm just going to slip her my copy of ISWF and say no pressure, I love you, please read and make your own decision. And then get my book back

[Snappy Shark]

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments and helpful stories. I am going to keep doing what makes me feel happy and healthy, and lead by example. That's all I can do, really.

Thanks again.

[Alison Webster]

I don't really talk to people about it unless they ask specifically about it. The women I work with think I'm some kind of hippie with the way I eat. Even last year trying to talk Paleo to my sister she shut me down right away but after witnessing the big changes in me became more intrigued. Soon I was like her mentor with food. Two month in her blood results were so good her Doc talked about possibly taking her off her cholesterol meds.

You can't save everyone. If they ask I will put it out there but I don't push it.

[Tasha]

It can be SUPER frustrating (and sad) to feel like you have "the secret" to helping your loved ones feel better, and have them ignore you or try to discredit you or look at you like you're a looney.

The reality is--people have to make decisions for themselves, and they have to be ready to change. It's not unlike lots of things in this world--smoking, drinking too much, speeding--people know that those things are bad but continue to do them because it's hard to stop, or they like it too much. The difference with Paleo/The Whole 30 is they don't think the food they are eating is bad for them, or causing them pain. That can take a bit longer to sink in and learn from, and maybe it starts by just going gluten free (and while it frustrates you to watch them eat beans, maybe beans will come next!)

Sometimes it takes a while to cross over. For a few months my sister would say to me "what do I have to do to convince you?"

I had to wade in slowly--I had to do a lot of reading (a LOT of reading) on my own and then I had to make the decision for myself.

In fact, my parents, my sister and her boyfriend have all been Paleo at one point (some more comitted than others) but I am the only one so far to do the Whole 30.

So, the only thing you can really do is be there to answer questions and offer support and advice when they come to you.

And lead by example, and when and if they are ready, they know they have an excellent source to turn to!