Emma

Whole 30 (July 2)

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21 hours ago, Amura said:

I'm definetely a procrastinator. That's why my house is never as clean as it is when I am stressed :lol:

People often think I'm very organized but that's just because I manage to keep stress at bay most of the time.
But I remember when I college, those exams periods, whoa! All the washing, cleaning, organizing, getting up just to sit in another place... I hardly managed to do anything done because I was constantly doing all those little things that were not what I was supposed to be doing.

Laughing - yes, I get it! I have to tell myself to focus on the most important thing, but it's hard when there is other stuff on the table or dishes in the sink and the funny thing is that I don't really care about those things except when I'm putting off something that I perceive as difficult.

But I do think my mood and better energy helps.

Two nights ago I didn't fall asleep till midnight and I was up at six. (I didn't fall asleep because I'd had coffee at five, got woken up by an alert on my  phone at 10:30 after I had fallen asleep, and couldn't get my mind to chill out). I felt fine yesterday, but I don't think I was as pleasant or forward moving in my thinking. I went to be on time last night and woke up at 6:22 on my own. I would have been happy to go back to sleep and lounge in bed, but I was awake. It's interesting how I just "wake up" now. It somehow feels different as if the cycle on the washer has completely finished - like on the clothes washer it spins and slows down and you know it's done, but you have to wait for that final click before you open it up. My brain seems to be doing that final click. And then I wake up feeling a bit soggy and groggy just like my wet laundry, but also clean and spun out.

Today should be long. Tomorrow too. 

I have chicken and veggies that I cooked up last night. I tried to make it like Egg Roll in a Bowl, but it kind of came out something totally different. I don't super love it, but it will work as food. I also still have some fish that I do really enjoy with a bed of greens and my lemon garlic EVOO. I also tried the Greek Salad that I'd had before and had always given me "Get-this-outta-here" digestive issues. I used my own dressing. No problems at all. 

Could Canola really be a problem for me??? (That was the oil used in the provided dressing which I always used before). 

The thought of testing is out is completely unappealing, but also exciting. If I could find the things that my body truly doesn't like, I'd have such an advantage!

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It could be canola oil indeed. Seeds do their best to avoid being eaten... 
Also there could be something else in that dressing, double check the ingredients list just in case.

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9 hours ago, Amura said:

It could be canola oil indeed. Seeds do their best to avoid being eaten... 
Also there could be something else in that dressing, double check the ingredients list just in case.

I quickly glanced at the other ingredients, but the reason canola stood out was because during Whole30 I ate some Dr. Praeger dino bites from the freezer section of the store. They had three ingredients: canola oil, potato starch, and spinach.  A bit after I ate them I had a big reaction.  I plan to eat the salad again tomorrow with my own dressing, but I will read the ingredients more thoroughly. Then, in a few days, I will eat the salad with their dressing and see what happens. 

 

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Day Something Or Other - Long enough that I'm no longer dealing with the hard work of those first 30 days which I'm appreciating. 

I weighed myself today. I guess I didn't weigh myself when I started because I have nothing written down, but I know what I was in April and I know I gained some weight when traveling in June so I'm definitely down twelve solid pounds from April and possibly more given my plumping up while traveling.

Twelve doesn't sound like a whole lot, but I'll tell ya - it feels like a whole lot. It's also a break from some dumb overweight place that my body seems to be fairly content to hang out at. When I went above that April weight like I did last year, I feel really lousy. When I lost weight and got to that dumb weight my body likes, I felt SO much better. Then I plumped up some and felt worse and then at some point I got back to it and probably hung out there for most of those first 30 days. But then things started to change and so I am in a whole new set of tens on the scale!

I was feeling pretty good, but then I started having those panic thoughts like, "How long can I keep this up?" THAT is what scales do. I have been ULTRA content to keep plugging along and eating clean and making choices that allow me to stay feeling good. And then comes the scale and the hopes and wishes and the weight issues.....blah blah blah.  So, I can celebrate feeling thinner and baggy clothes and seats that I can now fit into, but the scale thinking is not really my friend. My body is doing what it needs to and it will get to a healthier space in its own time. All I need to do is appreciate and honor what it is that allows me to feel so much better - how I eat.

On another note - I went to the gym this evening. I had a beast of a day so once home I tried to do the things that are also important: the yardwork, my practicing, visiting with our guest, and the gym which I haven't been to in ages. I didn't work out much, but I was there and did some treadmill walking and some weight machines. The tricep machine used to scrape past my hips when I sat on the seat. It no longer does! The treadmill felt good, but now my left ankle is really stiff again - in a somewhat different place then when I tried that Run To None program (which I flaked out on, but which is okay that I flaked because I have a lot going on and my priority is the eating, not the exercise)

And now it's time for bed. I really need to do work, but I also need the sleep. The sleep makes a world of difference. I'm hoping I wake up early and can do some work in the am, but if I don't, oh well. Tomorrow is bound to be a bit of a beast as well. That's okay. It's just how things are for now. 

Again, I am SO glad that I am feeling confident in myself again and feeling like I have some power and control in my life and over myself.  It's a nice place to be and a stark contrast from how I felt before.

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Wow, congratulations!  Twelve pounds is AWESOME and all those other victories are awesome as well (more awesome, I'd say - totally feel you on the tyranny of the scale).  You sound super chill and like you've hit a place where you know stress is going to be a part of life but it doesn't derail you from your goals.  It's pretty inspiring to read :)

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14 hours ago, Emma said:

Twelve doesn't sound like a whole lot

They don't?
They do sound like a whole lot to me, honestly.
I only have one week to finish my Whole30 and I doubt my scale will show such a big difference, I'm sure it's gonna be tiny. 
But it's ok, because it has helped me to move in the right direction, so I'm happy I'm doing this.

If the scale is not helping you, and you have already learned different ways to measure your improvements, DITCH IT.
I mean it.

14 hours ago, Emma said:

The sleep makes a world of difference.

Amen.

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I worked 14 hours today and only sat down and relaxed a couple times, in which I ate and enjoyed coffee, while still reflecting on work. Fourteen hours. It's pretty amazing that I can just GO for that long and stay focused. I could feel myself getting tired in the last hour and my brain stopped working as smoothly, but that was good because then I was more willing to pack up and head home.

The good news about a long work day is that tomorrow I will try to focus on my family and enjoy our outings. I may try to sneak in some thinking about work because I'm trying to figure some things out, but that will be all quiet and in my head and only when we're driving or out walking or if I wake up earlier than the others.

As for eating....Well, I did eat today and I'm super thankful I had food at work in the fridge. My mixed greens and fish were delicious. My chicken and veggies not so much. That's what I have for tomorrow's breakfast too, but at least it's ready and prepared. For lunch and dinner....not sure yet. We're driving out of town and everyone is planning to eat fun food. That Greek salad sounds good to me - maybe I can do that for my "treat". And maybe I'll rummage around in the fridge to see what veggies we have. A good roasted cauliflower sounds good or a bunch of roasted carrots or.....something warm and veggieish. My, how I've changed.

I do think, though, that if I were to sample the Doritos, I would have to do some serious grappling with my body and mind. Right now, it seems like the taste receptors that enjoy Doritos and know their flavor can imagine the flavor, but can't really trigger the longing for it. Wow - that's kinda crazy to think that my tongue is sending messages to my brain that in turn tells my brain to take another one. It does remind me of when I quit smoking cigarettes. Maybe at some point there will be that in between, but for now....I'm cool doing this. The really nice thing is that I'm also never hungry or grazing or seeking. I'm just kind of fine. I do get hungry, but not in a craving kind of way.

Anything else? Tomorrow will be good, but I do hope to get a few things done at home in the morning, including the grocery store. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday will all be doozies at work, but I am feeling a bit more positive and less overwhelmed. I'll probably go back in to work Monday or Tuesday nights (hopefully not both). Wednesday, I shuttle kids around in the evening. Thursday  I'll probably go in and most likely next Saturday, though hopefully not for 14 hours!

And I've got to start planning my kid's birthday party which is......eeeeeek.....only two weeks!  I don't even have presents for her yet!!

I guess I need to block some time to figure out a few things.

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4 hours ago, Emma said:

And I've got to start planning my kid's birthday party which is......eeeeeek.....only two weeks!  I don't even have presents for her yet!!

My husband birthday is only two weeks two, and I don't have any presents but that's ok.
My only issue is CAKE. I'll be making one for him, and I would like to try  it indeed :rolleyes:

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3 hours ago, Amura said:

My husband birthday is only two weeks two, and I don't have any presents but that's ok.
My only issue is CAKE. I'll be making one for him, and I would like to try  it indeed :rolleyes:

Trying cake is okay and adult cakes can be so delicious, but if you're concerned, what about a paleo cake? At least that's what I plan to do for my kiddo. Well, I plan to make her a regular cake, but I plan to make a second paleo one for me. I know that I don't get triggered by the paleo ones. I might eat a lot, but I don't get all those desires to eat everything else. I'm gonna need to start looking up some recipes since I don't have any favorite go-to paleo cakes anymore! 

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I would not mind eating a "normal" cake. His fave ones are either cheesecakes, and I'll think I'll give a try to a chocolate cheesecake - because chocolate is a crowd pleaser.
This is one of those ocassions (my bday, his bday and the child's bday) where a piece of cake would be "worth it".

My problem is that I'll be in the middle of reintroduction. And that's not a proper reintroduction :unsure:
I've thought of testing dairy first, then wheat... and then make an exception for the cake, then go back to compliant for a while so I can keep testing everything else.
Then I think that maybe I should pass and finish the reintroduction by the book, I'll have another chance for sweet treats on Christmas mind you.
I'm torn on that.
I don't think I can make my mind this early, I need to see how dairy and wheat feel, then I'll figure it out.

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12 hours ago, Amura said:

I've thought of testing dairy first, then wheat... and then make an exception for the cake, then go back to compliant for a while so I can keep testing everything else.

Is there any wheat in cheesecake? You could just test out dairy and wait to deal with wheat after his birthday? But yes, no need to decide anything now at all.

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I was happy as a lark today breaking out my salad and salad dressing on our road trip. I also substituted the salad's salami for my own, which is way better. I had a soda water and life was pretty perfect. I felt awake and alert and content. It was quite nice. I did have some moments earlier when others had baked goods and smartfood popcorn. THAT stuff is pretty tasty. I wanted it, but didn't want it. I wanted it, but my mouth couldn't really send those urgency signals to my brain and I figured I'd better keep it that way. I had thought about savoring a few pieces of popcorn or bites of cookie, but I didn't really want to and so I didn't. And when others were probably feeling fatigued from their sugar load and processed foods, I was feeling good and excited for future trips and hikes. My desire to get out and do things is increasing. I'm still quite happy hanging at home, but the part of me that loves exploring is starting to emerge.

I had roasted cauliflower with dinner tonight and it was so good, but I ate so much. I think the salt and garlic is part of the reason I kept eating it. There's none left. I thoroughly enjoyed it, but I definitely have a cauliflower gut right now. Thankfully, it should all magically disappear while I sleep. Let's see if that happens!

 

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6 hours ago, Emma said:

Is there any wheat in cheesecake? You could just test out dairy and wait to deal with wheat after his birthday? But yes, no need to decide anything now at all.

Depends on the recipe, some have a base made of cookies or things like that - but I'm not really sure.
I don't have any go-to recipe because I don't make cakes that often, and I guess I could find something closer to compliant (or even fully compliant ingredient-wise) but right now my idea is to make something I think he would love, and decide whether or not I try it or pass. 

6 hours ago, Emma said:

I definitely have a cauliflower gut right now.

:lol:

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You could always try making one using a paleo flour (like cassava since it supposedly can be subbed in 1:1 for wheat flour) or blend. That way you could include the dairy (or even skip that and see if he notices!), without worrying about any dairy-wheat interactions.

I avoid wheat, dairy, and even legumes most of the time even outside of Whole30, so I'd be the one likely to make a paleo cake and call it done... If he wants a gluten-filled slice of delicious, we've got an excellent place across town that has some good food and does absolutely wonderful by-the-slice cakes and cheesecakes (they're huge slices, too, one split between us is almost too much); I'd rather just enjoy the evening out with him and have dessert, instead of having a gluten-filled stack of temptation sitting on my counter.

On that subject, I guess I should figure out what our plans will be for his birthday. It's 4 days away!

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