5280sarah

Binge eating and re-starting Whole30

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Ack.  Urge is back.  Came on strong last night and I gave in a bit - some chocolate (that wasn't even good :( ), a few spoonfuls of sunflower seed butter and a handful of dried cranberries (I was upstairs reading in bed and literally came down to eat this :angry:).  Again, went to sleep with dreams of cookies and what I'd eat today.  But if I binge today, tomorrow will suck.  I hate when tomorrow sucks.  No matter how many times I tell today's self that I won't be angry/sad/bitchy tomorrow, I always am.  I wish I could zap this part of my brain.  Doing something I've literally never done before today though.  I'm going to ask my husband to help me.  I never ask him because the truth is I don't want to not do it.  But today, I really don't want to do it, so I'm going to ask for help.

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Hey All,

waiting in the airport to go home. Great weekend full of fun and partying. Didn’t stick to Whole30, but my behaviors were ok. Definitely sucks to restart again, but when it came down to it, I decided my choices were worth it this time. I at least felt good about making the conscious choice. Now I’m back to day 1. I sound like a broken record recently. Fully aware of it. But I’m still passionate about this restart and will not give up. 

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@littleg  Great strategy to ask your husband to help.  You have the power to prevent both today and tomorrow from sucking.  It's not willpower, it's following what is right for you and making choices that make you stronger.  You've got this!

@Dragonslayer  Glad you had a good time in Chicago.  You don't sound like a broken record.  Failure only happens when you stop trying and you're clearly not doing that.  Rock Day 1!

Off to finish my food prep and then get a frenzy of holiday prep done.  So many people out and about  Makes me want to go hide in the woods!!

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Did a successful Whole 30 last January alone and with hubby in April. We have tried to start another 3 times since and havent got thru the first week. We were still doing ok but now and really back to bad habits and need to commit to the plan. So I need to commit to either 12/26 or 1/1. Need to decide and get my head on straight. Really should start right away but driving out of state for a week to attend a wedding on the 15 and then home, soI think it is better to wait considering our failed attemtpts

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@littleg just had a conversation with my fiancé in the airport earlier today where I too finally asked him for help. Then I just saw your message here! Crazy. I also truly don’t want to and am hoping I can really be honest with him when I’m struggling. I had urges an hour ago when I went to the store. I haven’t slept in 3 days, am hungover, having sugar and overeating withdrawal, and just have no energy left. Had to go get some essentials at the store though to fuel my success this week. I put a bag of sweet potato chips in my cart during my urge, and then I turned around, put them back, and had a good stern “what the hell are you doing” talk with myself. Reminded myself of all my goals, foods allowed, and how I won’t sleep tonight or feel good tomorrow if I eat those chips and then keep eating as I know I would. Left with all Whole30 foods, came home and made a salad, sweet potato, and leftover burger and am so thankful now for making the right choice. Getting back on track is going to be tough after this weekend, but I have nothing to stress about socially or event wise anymore until Christmas with my parents (which won’t even be an issue now that my mom has a different diet) so I have no excuses and no reason to not get through this month with success. Our work Christmas party next week I found out is at my favorite restaurant that has great compliant options, and our other party in two weeks is pot luck so I’m gonna bring something I can have. Things are looking good for December. Now I just gotta get past that first damn 10 days. 

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@Dragonslayer The "haha" is just for the last sentence ;) Good for your putting those chips down.  Its funny that we seem to be living the same journey on opposite coasts!  Glad to hear you enjoyed Chicago!  

So in the past 4-5 days now I've had really strong urges 3 times.  The first one, I posted on here and got through it.  The second one was late at night and I gave in just a little.  Yesterday's was also really bad, but again, posted and talked to hubs.  Interestingly, posting on here was what seemed to help the most.  Not like it had some magical cure - just simply taking the time to force myself to be rational by typing.  Is it BOB where she talks about how your hands can't control themselves?  That your upper brain has to command you reaching for food and putting it in your mouth?  Anyone know what I'm talking about?  Anyway, by taking the time to type I think I'm giving myself a chance to pull my upper brain back into the picture and not let my lower brain take control.  We've all talked about this before - using breathing, meditative thoughts, etc.  But it never worked.  I have to actually do something with a part of my body besides my brain apparently :) I will admit I haven't been eating template - grapes for dinner the last 2 nights... but even too many grapes is better than leaving a wake of wrappers and cookie packaging.  

@hmg1993 You need to take a well deserved day off from work and go to the mall at 8 AM.  This time of year I only venture out first thing in the morning :) Our Whole Foods is at a mall so lots of Sunday at 8 AM grocery shopping!  

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If there is a god, he’s just really testing me right now. My grandpa (moms dad) passed away last night. Stuff like this always seem to happen all at the same time. Will be traveling again to go spend time with family in a few days. Yet another reminder of why working so hard to change my habits and focus on my own health is so important. I need to be healthy and take care of my body so I can live a long happy life with my family. Good luck this week everyone. You are all doing so amazing. I hope to be on the same streak soon in a few weeks. 

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@littleg  I definitely grocery shop early but it's holiday shopping that drives me up the wall.  I ventured into a mall this weekend and almost had a panic attack!  Online all the way from now on.  Hope you had a good day !!!  I know exactly what you mean about hands feeding without real feeling.  I shall try typing too the next time.  Operation engage upper brain!!

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Thanks for the kind words you guys. Doing ok. We all knew this was coming, it was just a waiting game, so I’m handling it well. Turns out there are some complicated funeral plans involving traveling so I won’t be able to go. Part of me is relieved because the red eye traveling and sadness of the entire situation just sounds so hard emotionally and mentally. The other part is of course sad I can’t be there, but it’s all been discussed and worked out so this is for the best. 

Anyways, that means I’ll be here getting back into my normal work and eating routine which sounds really great right now. Made a sheet pan tonight with Brussels sprouts, purple cabbage, and parsnips, all shredded in my blender into small pieces and mixed together on the pan with avocado oil salt pepper garlic powder turmeric and a little chili powder. It was so good. And easy bc no cutting! Since the pieces are so small it all gets this amazing charred crispiness. Had that kind of as a warm salad and chicken thighs. Feeling focused once again and just continuing to work on seeing the positive in this all and what I can do to keep myself and my family Healthy from now on. 

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Day 3 and feeling good. I’m rereading the original Whole30 book and it’s got a lot of good reminders about ways to make it easier, Help cravings, etc. I’m also reading “The 7 habits of highly effective people.” Similar to the other habit book in ways, but very interesting new stuff too. In addition, I’m finding that the more research I do on the functions of our liver, gallbladder, and other gut organs, the more I am developing a fear of bingeing because of the damage it causes to our insides. I read about how overeating differs with protein, fat, and carbs on the different areas of our body and basically all of them are very harmful in some way. It’s a good tool for me right now to help remember what I’m choosing to do to my insides when I choose to overeat. It’s all a choice, and I need to choose to heal my gut, not destroy it. I just hope I haven’t already done too much damage that it’s not able to be healed! 

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@Dragonslayer  I think we can totally repair as long as we can get off the roller coaster.  It's the swings that I think make it tough.  Way to go on Day 3.  I also downloaded the habits book at @littleg's suggestion and will read for more inspiration.  Most of all though you all inspire me to keep on trucking.  Day 24 today and I am pretty sure that i will keep going a little while longer just to get that reset set in stone.  Have nasty cold and not looking forward to 4:30 a,m wake up.  Can it be the holidays yet?!

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@hmg1993 woo hoo! You are killing it! I love that you are at day 24. I honestly have never been able to get past about a week but I do have my bingeing more under control than I did previously so I feel a lot better about that. I still want to experience the tiger blood again. I need to get on with it and stop making excuses. I do feel like I am making better choices most of the time with food but I still eat one or two non-whole30 things each day which I suppose is this thing called "moderation" but I still can't decide if that's my approach or if I am just better with things being black and white. 

@Dragonslayer How are things for you today? I know what you mean about the damage to your body but I also think that the human body is pretty amazing at repairing itself given a bit of TLC. I worry about that stuff too though and about the long term effects of my eating habits on my insides. 

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Hi everyone!  Love that we're advanced! I rarely get that title!  Slogging through this week with a bad cold I got from my husband.  He had classic man flu but I have to push through.  Have to speak on a panel today and sounding like kermit the frog.  It's a good look.  Day 26 and feeling OK but a little anxious about a girl's night tomorrow with new friends.  I always feel pressured to have a drink and I absolutely don't want to.  Any tips welcome.  @5280sarah  Sounds like you have found a very good zone.  Moderation and food freedom is definitely my next stop.  I just feel like I need some more time with training wheels on.  

Hope you all have a great day ... nearly the weekend!

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@hmg1993 The easiest excuse and one with least push back is a med contraindication.  Or you can tell them the truth - sometimes people are interested in W30!  Or you can tell them that you can't taste anything anyway because of your cold so why spend $10 on a glass of wine :)  Also, I miss your menus - can you post them - I liked getting ideas from them!

@5280sarah I was always advanced :) I've been around here forever.  

@Dragonslayer I think Sarah is right - the human body is amazing at healing if you let it do its thing.  I saw this interesting documentary on fasting on Amazon Prime the other night - I was wondering if it was going to be about Jason Fung at all (nope) - it was about all the research from the USSR and Europe on fasting... The Soviets did a lot of the research but never told the West about it.  Anyway, it was pretty interesting and people have documented improvement from ailments that are "incurable" in the US - asthma, rheumatism, liver disease.  So, not saying fasting is the way to go but that the human body does strive to fix itself if you just stop beating it :) And I think W30/paleo is probably the closest thing to ideal that we can get in this day and age!

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On 12/1/2017 at 2:35 PM, hmg1993 said:

@Dragonslayer enjoy Chicago! @Pandora let us know how the fruit reintroduction goes. @littleg you go! My only two cents — and everyone is different — is that I am not sure that the fasting is the best idea. That used to be my go to after eating too much but all it does is reinforce the wild swings and maybe we’re better off reverting to eating normally? Also, is breakfast completely out for you? You know what works best for you though. No question.

@*KG I would definitely try a nut free period. They’re such a “no brakes” food. I am helpless around them and not even remotely satisfied with a serving size. My normal handful is probably about seven servings!!!

Yes, that seems to be my normal serving, too. :-( Just wonder why I crave them after every meal!

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On 12/1/2017 at 2:07 PM, Pandora said:

@hmg1993 congrats on day 19! you are almost there.

@*KG have you tried take all the nuts out? for like a week and see how do you feel? 

@Dragonslayer enjoy your trip, I loved Chicago a lot when I visited.

@littleg you have a lot of willpower girl! tell us how everything went today.

Im going to start my reintroduction today with fruit, I've been avoiding this moment but since today turns December i guess its the right time. I haven't been hungry for the past 3 days, i still have lunch and dinner (too much) everyday but there is no feeling of need to eat. My water intake is way down too, I used to have almost a gallon of water a day (3,5 litters) and now Im suffering to have 50 oz a day. Idk if it was because I used the water to hide the hunger so I drunk it a lot and now im not hungry so i don't need water.

I did at first on the Whole30. I think I was nut free for the first 2 weeks. Then I fell into having them with unsweetened applesauce and frozen berries, even though I knew was substituting them as dessert and that's a non-no on the Whole30. I found these wonderful pumpkin seeds with Himalayan salt, roasted, so Whole30-approved, and started eating them as "protein" because they have so much in them. But I'm now addicted to them. So, I suppose I should just go back to banning them for a while.

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Good morning!

@*KG try the unsalted raw pumpkin seeds. They are way easier to stop eating in my opinion. 

@hmg1993 you are almost at 30!!! So awesome. You gotta stick to it! I agree with @littleg on reasons to not drink, or just say you are trying to detox a bit before the holidays. Good luck on your panel today! And yes, more recipes please! 

@littleg I’ve read some stuff on fasting as well lately. Seems to make a lot of sense, but for me, it’s a big trigger. The only way I can do it well is to eat an early dinner and then a breakfast like 2 hours after I’m up. Anything fasting during the day though and I’m in binge territory once I start eating. I’m doing well though trying to get on a meal schedule at work though. I’m doing 4 meals a day now for 2 weeks and it’s been working well (with just 1 or 2 days that it didn’t). Still trying to figure out how much I need with work/skiing each day, but I’m tryig hard to listen to my signals so hopefully it becomes more natural soon. 

@5280sarah sounds like you are doing well with the moderation, so keep it up! Don’t change if that’s what is working for you! 

I’m doing better. On day 5 and feeling strong, but that’s always the case for me until around day 8, and then things get tough, so we will see! I’m going to try and plan my meals for 3 days in advance starting this weekend to see if that helps. And I gave my fiancé my credit cards last night so I have no way of buying anything! I am making him go to the store with me this weekend to do our weekly grocery haul together. He never comes, but I don’t want to risk anything this week. Family is still going through tough times, but I’m learning to manage the stress and anxiety better with exercise, extra sleep, breathing practice, and reading at night. Also lots of tea. 

I’m on a 10 day Work stretch so I don’t get a day off until next Thursday, but I’m enjoying work right now bc it’s keeping me busy and distracted so I don’t mind. 

Hope everyone has a good day! 

My meals today are: breakfast- hard boiled eggs with avocado and everything but the bagel seasoning (TJ), and some leftover veggies, 1st lunch- spaghetti squash smothered in spinach artichoke dip with leftover deer steak, 2nd lunch- Asian coleslaw with mayo/coconut amino dressing, shredded Brussels, cabbage, sweet potatoes, and toasted sesame seeds. Dinner- not sure yet. Probably broiled salmon with asparagus and maybe a pumpkin soup. 

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Hi everyone!  Here's a couple of recipes that have been inspiring me (just the first two).  I made the pork but used carrots and parsnips instead of butternut.  So good and great leftovers (and the calorie thing i ignore and also add more carbs like a sweet potato).  The chicken + brussels sprouts are delicious.  I'm all into keeping it super easy right now as not feeling well 

https://www.newsday.com/lifestyle/columnists/marge-perry/3-simple-dinner-recipes-under-400-calories-1.13049412?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=postplanner&utm_source=facebook.com

Will post next week's menus on Saturday.

@DragonslayerCongrats on Day 5  and smooth move on the credit card transfer!!  Thanks to you and @littleg for the advice on no drinking (I have totally used the medication one :)).  For something new and different, I'm going to own it and say what I am doing with pride. I tend to want to be a people pleaser and I need to cut that out and stand up for myself.

@*KG  Not that I am a paragon of this or anything but I think anything you find addictive is probably worth screening out of your life right now.  Now if only i could apply those words of wisdom to my shopping

What are you reading @Dragonslayer? I am working my way through the Chilbury Ladies' Choir and loving it.  

 

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@hmg1993 I am just super into nutrition and learning all about the human body and how foods affect it etc, I have been ever since I started cutting out sugar about a year ago. So all my reading is usually Health or nutrition related. I don’t always agree with some of the extreme opinions in some stuff, but it’s all very interesting to learn and compare to other sources that say contradictory things and be able to make my own opinions. Probably my top 3 I read recently were “The Omnivores Dilemma”, “Grain Brain”, and “Women, Food, And God.” The last one isn’t about religion at all really, if you are wondering. I’m just obsessed with learning more all the time, so I try and always do research in different categories and then usually my findings in one book lead me to another on a slightly different topic. But nothing I read lately is fiction or about anything not related to health, except maybe the habit books, but they still relate too actually. 

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