Binge ruined my Whole30

[pandagirl]

I started a Whole30 on Jan 2nd. Did really well for about 10 days, but was then hit by massive cravings, and I had a massive chocolate binge yesterday.

I have a history of binge behaviour, both with alcohol and food, but it got worse when I started logging food on My Fitness Pal last year because I needed to lose some weight. I was going to quit using it for Whole30, but I told myself that I wouldn't worry about calories and I'd just use it to track macros, and if I'm honest that hasn't happened. I've continued with obsessive calorie counting behaviour and the same patterns of being "good" for a few days and then bingeing.

I have been hugely stressed at work this month, due to a project I'm managing that's run into big problems, I have a big workload and I got upset on Friday and I think that's what was the "final straw" that triggered the binge.

If I'm honest I have also been eating too much fruit and feeding the sugar demon as well, probably in response to stress.

I know I need to quit MFP and quit logging food and just get a healthy relationship back with food and my body, and not exercise to burn calories so I can have more food - argh, I hate it. I'm a terrible perfectionist and I hold myself up to really high standards - I find that I do often set myself up to fail, and I think I've done it with my Whole30.

Any tips for how I can regroup and work towards another one but with healthier behaviours and mindset in place?

[kb0426]

If you are a perfectionist, I think you then take advantage of that and make your goal to follow the whole30 food template and guidelines exactly. That INCLUDES not logging your calories!

I love the borders that are set up during the whole30 and a perfectionist should be able to rejoice in this.

Putting down the MFP is the only way you are going to stop the eat-exercise-eat cycle. Start listening to your body, and not a device with generic numbers.

[pandagirl]

You're right - I think I have just lost the ability to have that "in touchness". I was finding myself quite hungry because I've been doing crossfit and gone back to mountain biking, and was doing yoga, in an attempt to shift myself from chronic cardio (which was progress I guess). But if I had a hungry day (I guess my body wanting more fuel) I'd panic because MFP would tell me I'd eaten too much and was therefore going to gain weight.

I know - the logical part of my brain says, it's an app, and everyone is different, it doesn't know my body. But the non-logical part looks at it as the gospel truth.

I need to put it the heck down and start just focusing on eating real food and getting fit and enjoying it.

[Emily]

Can you give it away or ask a friend to hold it (and not give it back) for 30 days? This part of your struggle sounds similar to the struggles people sometimes have with the scale.

You had other good insights about your behavior--the stress at work, getting upset, feeling hungry. Nice job of observing yourself; you've identified some probably triggers. This is a process; try again. You can do it.

[kb0426]

I know where you are coming from. I logged my food choices for 4 years. I gained weight over the last 2 years despite doing so. So much of it has to do with "it says I can eat more" so you do. Also, there is the scenario you described where you are HUNGRY yet some number is telling me you have had too much. Deprivation is the perfect set up for a binge. Once I started my whole30, I figured here was my chance to truly change my relationship with food. Some days it felt like I ate a TON and other days I was satisfied with less. This is how our bodies work, and no app is designed to account for that.

Btw, I lost 9 pounds during my whole30.

[AmyS]

I have no idea what My Fitness Pal is, but it sounds like something you should get rid of. It sounds really terrible.

[pandagirl]

kb, your experience gives me a lot of hope that this can work and that I can move away from those unhealthy habits. I realise that I kind of wasn't really doing the program right because I was still logging food.

Going to try and regroup a bit, just focus on making good choices, no logging, not stressing about calories and taking it a day at a time and I'll see how that feels for a bit.

I never was a binge eater particularly - alcohol was my overindulgence of choice, but I stopped that last year (good) but then kind of replaced it with food - a week of being "good" and then an all out binge, just the way I used to with drinking (bad).

[chelle81!]

oh pandagirl - I'm so glad I'm not the only one ... and as much as I know I will figure all this crap out one of these time, I know you can too - it sounds like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders ... if we can itendify these things that are our 'last straw', it's just a matter of figuring out how to handle them without binge eating... good luck pandagirl *hugs*

[kaybee]

Yeah, that Fitness Pal is no pal of yours. Toss it. You can do this! Listen to your body and stop looking at random numbers. What would you say to your best friend if she were in this situation? Sometimes you gotta be your own best friend!

[Michaela Elmore Cogswell]

And for the record, you didn't "ruin your whole 30". You gained more insights into yourself, into the program and what you can do to suceed and change your relationship with food. So when Day 1 starts again for you, you will be far better equipped to finish the full 30 days.

[Fenderbender]

So you had a nice ten day run! ten days of good health.... I don't measure success in how well you preform,how fast,how strong,how much you lose....rather now well you pick yourself up and dust yourself off when you slip and fall face first into the mud. Success is getting knocked down over and over again and not quitting.....

Make yourself healthy, you deserve it, and just start over again.... Even if you only get 11 days next time....just keep going!!!!

[pandagirl]

_{Well I've managed now 2 days on my "MFP detox" - am focusing on eating paleo, eating enough at meal times and not snacking unless it's pre/post-workout.}

_{I am anxious about not logging, but I keep telling myself if I feel I am starting to put on weight I can reduce portions or cut out fruit and up veg rather than resort to counting again.}

[Nathalia Bailey]

I know where you are coming from. I logged my food choices for 4 years. I gained weight over the last 2 years despite doing so. So much of it has to do with "it says I can eat more" so you do. Also, there is the scenario you described where you are HUNGRY yet some number is telling me you have had too much. Deprivation is the perfect set up for a binge. Once I started my whole30, I figured here was my chance to truly change my relationship with food. Some days it felt like I ate a TON and other days I was satisfied with less. This is how our bodies work, and no app is designed to account for that.

Btw, I lost 9 pounds during my whole30.

I just quit mfp this whole 30 also. I logged everything for a full year but wasn't seeing any results. It's definitely all about that "I still have calories left over" kind of mentality.

It has been so AMAZING to actually feel my hunger and my satiety. And I don't think about food at all anymore unless I'm hungry. Total lifechanger.

[pandagirl]

I just quit mfp this whole 30 also. I logged everything for a full year but wasn't seeing any results. It's definitely all about that "I still have calories left over" kind of mentality.

It has been so AMAZING to actually feel my hunger and my satiety. And I don't think about food at all anymore unless I'm hungry. Total lifechanger.

Brilliant! That's so good to hear.

I'm doing ok not logging, just anxious about weight gain. But it is quite something not to be thinking about food all the time - I feel like a weight has gone. And I don't snack nearly as much - I reckon it is that "calories over" mentality. I probably do eat more at meal times, but I'm definitely not grazing as much at all. I generally only eat outside of meal times if I am going to work out.

Definitely developing better habits without MFP and hoping to give W30 another crack in a few weeks time.

[wheresanita]

I feel your pain! Not so much with MFP, but with the scale. On this Whole30 that has been my big struggle. The food has been relatively "easy". It really helps that my husband is also doing the W30! But...

Every morning I walk in to the bathroom and have a huge mental battle with myself. The scale is RIGHT THERE. NOBODY will know...I can just step on it and take a peek. I thought about taking the scale away but thought that would be more stressful. It's still difficult to stay off the scale, but now, each morning I start my day with a FIRM and STRONG commitment to the rules and the spirit of the W30 - and that actually helps me throughout the day. In my head, I've already overcome the most difficult thing about the W30 for me - I stayed off the scale! The rest is easy!

Try to remember, this is your body, your helath. No time is wasted. Look at the insights you have already gained. Do not expect to change years of habits in one 30 day stretch. Take all you have learned forward, apply it, make subtle healthy changes now, and when you're ready..tackle the W30 again and see what great new insights you gain with that one.

[Janineb110]

I'm on day 19. Today I decided to start logging my food in MFP because I feel that my weight loss has ended. I was going to begin working out tonight but since I didn't, and I've gone over my 1200 cal. I went on a binge. All compliant food like nuts, carrots, dates. I feel like I was able to stop it and recognize what has happened before I hit the store for ice cream. Thank God I live alone and my house is free of non-compliant foods. I'm just worried that I'm going to begin a down hill slope tomorrow. I'm in bed and haven't even packed my lunch for tomorrow. I don't feel like I need to start over....do I?

[ShannonM816]

26 minutes ago, Janineb110 said:

I'm on day 19. Today I decided to start logging my food in MFP because I feel that my weight loss has ended. I was going to begin working out tonight but since I didn't, and I've gone over my 1200 cal. I went on a binge. All compliant food like nuts, carrots, dates. I feel like I was able to stop it and recognize what has happened before I hit the store for ice cream. Thank God I live alone and my house is free of non-compliant foods. I'm just worried that I'm going to begin a down hill slope tomorrow. I'm in bed and haven't even packed my lunch for tomorrow. I don't feel like I need to start over....do I?

Quit tracking in mfp. Calories are not all equal. If you are doing whole30, you are eating healthy, nutrient dense foods. You are unlikely to consistently overeat these foods in the way that you might overeat Ice cream or potato chips or other foods that are specifically created to taste really, really good in a way that makes your brain keep wanting them even long after you have eaten way more than a recommended serving of them.

If you didn't eat anything non-compliant you don't have to start over. 

Go pack your lunch for tomorrow. Delete your mfp account. Get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow will be better.

Also, quit worrying about weight loss. Eat plenty of healthy, nutrient dense foods, get some exercise most days, get good sleep most nights, limit your stress as much as you can, and you will feel good, and if you truly need to lose weight, you will. It will take time, and sometimes the weight will go up, sometimes it will go down, but long term, if you keep behaving in a way that promotes good health, your weight will get to a healthy place.

[Karen_Suep]

Seriously ditch MFP. Change your password to something unrecognizeable or hand over your account to a friend and have them change the password and not return it for 30 days. Or if you can, delete it. It's really not going to do you any favors. If you see yourself tracking calories, stop. 

That is probably one of the hardest things to get past, honestly. Our culture has been told all calories are created equal and if we carefully count them, we will lose weight but that's not the case. Not all calories are created equal, just like not all carbs are created equal. Don't even keep track of macros! 

I honestly suspect that you aren't eating enough if it was easy to binge on compliant foods. Review the meal template and start composing meals with the correct amounts of proteins fats and vegetables. If fruit and nuts are too close to food without breaks, ditch them.

[xxitsvivibaby]

Definitely get rid of MFP.  I'm telling you this from experience- it's wreaked nothing but havoc on my life.  I always start out using it with great intentions (as I'm sure you have) and it always ends up destroying me.  I've used it on and off for many years when I've wanted to lose a bit of weight and the first few times it did the job but for whatever reason over the past two years of using it to lose 15 pounds (that I never lost btw) it's caused me to go off the deep end.  MFP is great in theory but realistically it's only good for counting macros.  It's too linear for weight loss and even though I only had 15 pounds to lose, I would get too easily discouraged if the scale wasn't moving and give up altogether for a few days (only to gain back the couple pounds I did manage to lose and sometimes more) only to run right back to it and start the cycle over.  To be perfectly honest my obsession with counting calories and 'going over'/not losing any weight developed into full-blown bulimia that I still struggle with but am much better about.  I had to do something so I stopped logging on MFP and focused on eating better foods and only eating when I was truly hungry (instead of just eating because MFP said I had calories left).  By eating what I wanted when I wanted (even if it was 'cheat' worthy food like pizza or BBQ) it allowed me to stop when I was full because I knew I could have more if I wanted and I wouldn't binge or purge.  This led me to the Whole30 and after prepping myself for a couple weeks by abstaining from sweets (my biggest weakness) here I am on day 12 going strong!  Bottom line: stop logging.  It's not helping you here and it will mess with you.  Remember this is not about weight loss.  It's about nourishing and resetting your body so you can enjoy food again.  And lastly- stressing so much over losing weight and counting calories will not help you lose weight- it will probably do the opposite.  You're on DAY 19!  You can do this!  Enjoy the process!  (And for the record I haven't had any cravings/binges/episodes since I've started Whole 30!!!)

[Guest]

Can I just say I hear you. I was obsessed with macros, I was a good weight but I wasn't feeling great. I'm on day 16 of my whole30 and it's so refreshing just listening to my body about when it's full/hungry. 

 

I also have a history of binge eating, it's just the worst isn't it. 

 

Whenever I'm stressed/anxious/worried, I've found ways to distract myself - yoga, meditation, playing with my dogs, leaving the kitchen to go and watch TV....

 

Something that has helped is taking natural calm (unsweetened) through the day in my big water bottle - my stress levels have been less "explosive."