Nadia's PW30. "Let's fix it" journey.


Nadia B

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19 hours ago, MeadowLily said:

I don't know if that ever goes away, Nadia. :ph34r: It doesn't matter if I've moved way down the road,  years later it still hits me like a truck.

I surely hope it does. 

 

Lechon and kamayan dinner with friends last night. OMG Philippino feast with the whole roasted pig. All of the meat and some halo halo with coconut milk. Fun times and remedy for the sore soul. Feast with awareness. Again, I love to be able to see little trasformations that have happened to me over the years of journaling. 

 

So swollen and puffy today but I knew it's going to happen so no freaking out. Just my regular day with meal carefully planned and gentle stretching. Massage even as a treat, if I can finish packing my bag on time. Salty water here I come, cure me or at least hide my tears. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am back. Happier than ever. Nadia effect full force. It is SO ANNOYING. In a week of surfing and being in the sun I have dropped weight. Eating whatever I wanted but I also didn't want anything outrageous. I never though about what I eat other than - hungry or not. HOW do I achieve this zen back home. I love the ocean, I must move to live by the water.

To whole30 or not, that is the question. 

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2 hours ago, SaraRuns said:

Glad you had a wonderful vacay.  How to bring the zen into normal life, maybe by finding things you enjoy every day, like you do on vacation?

I do things I love, I dance, I stretch, I bike, I listen to music and I see my friends. I wonder if it's truly the climate? I wonder if it's my monkey brain. I am tempted to do an aggressive meditation month :D 

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I read a phrase that resonated with me big time. Love-Action results in Love-Feeling. I mean, how brilliant is this? The girl who wrote it, said that she has formulated a list of actions that mean self love and made herself, that's right MADE, do a few of them every day. She had no inspiration at first but kept being diligent about her experiment. Fascinating. I want to become my own fan. 

 

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2 hours ago, SaraRuns said:

Love that pic!  So much awesomeness!

I tell myself that about all love,  it isn't just a feeling, it is an action.

Thanks. The thought that stands as revolutionary to me, that you can reverse the process, you can possibly fake it till you make it. Your body will follow suit if you keep your diligence with Love-Acting.  It may be obvious to some, but it just hit me that I must do things that I clearly mark as self love with greater awareness. If that makes sense. 

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Confession. I have not cooked out of love for over a year now. I threw some basic things together just to get it over with. I feel better eating real food, I save money and my skin doesn't freak out. I couldn't remember when I cooked for myself out of "I am going to make myself a delicious dinner" kind of love. After my first whole30 madness and absolute obsession with food and acting like a cooking factory, I entered a long period of my life where it just stopped bringing me joy. I felt like it's not important if my chicken for dinner is spiced up or not. I had full blown aversion to making new things. Tonight just felt different. I just went to the supermarket and spend an hour cutting, sautéing and simmering  things. I have a delicious boatload of curry (Well Fed blog for the win) and no guilt for staying in, not exercising (still doing surfing pop ups) and eating a yummy pot de creme in bed. Naughty Friday is what I want. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Guys, how are things? I am in a weird place right now but I should stop call it weird just because it's unusual or not what I thought it would be. I was thinking that this is the most useless thought which is as toxic as comparison - the thought "I wouldn't think I end up here". Goals are important - regrets not so much. 

Okay, life updates.

 - My skin is freaking out. FREAKING out. Coconut or nightshades again? Weak gut? I am annoyed. 

- I love apples and eat tons. Courtland from the farmer's market mmmm.

- Coconut cream hot chocolate is not a swypo, it beats the original stuff any day. It also induces zero guilt somehow. 

- I am not working out, I just don't feel like it. Some yoga at home, biking and surfing pop ups before bed. I thought I'd be freaking out but I am kind of rolling with it. I have made my body do things as a punishment or disguised obligation way way too many times. That being said I am going to my snowboarding group outdoors workout as their prep for the upcoming trip. Legs be crushed me thinks.

- I am cooking all my meals, I love how I spend way less now, but holy guacomole, I am not used to this cooking train anymore and I am cooking for myself only.

- Breakfast problem. Okay I need your help here. I've tried to phase out oatmeal but nothing feels me up for this long this comfortable. I eat eggs and I am hungry 2 hours later. I tried meat in the am and I feel meh and guess what, hungry quit soon again. What to do?!

- I need your "bestest" chili recipe, I've got a new giant Crotch Pot.  

 

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My skin is also not happy, transitioning into colder weather?

You may need something to go with the eggs, I've been doing a banana based smoothie to go with my HB eggs in the morning.

I am also interested in some good Crotch Pot chili recipes...  I did make a batch of chocolate chili not too long ago, yum!

And I'm a honey crisp girl!

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  • 2 weeks later...

If only I can figure out how to always act out of love, genuinely, wholeheartedly, my life will get to a new level. It's the hardest thing I have ever chased. Move, sleep, eat the right amount and meditate not out of fear that I will get bigger, will look puffy or whatever that I am afraid of but out of true self love. I enjoy movement but sometimes I get really really averted to it. In the moments like this, the true ugly self doubt, guilt and fear come out. 

On the upside - tuna cakes from Nom Nom Paleo is the bomb. Can't get enough. 

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To add to my previous post. I am not saying that I do things only because I know I have to. I am saying that it often crosses my mind as a first reaction and I want to know how to bridge the gap. How to stop this circuit: "I have to workout because insert negative self comment" then realizing "well I actually love moving and will feel great if I do this". How to stop being so hyper aware and just be? It's exhausting.

P.S  My skin is keeping doing weird sh*t. My head scalp is out of control. I suspect nightshades again. Has anyone ever had it? 

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  • 1 month later...

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