Nadia's PW30. "Let's fix it" journey.

[percypat]

I have this mental image of all us waiting with baited breath for news of Nadia's fart.  

 

Maybe a "Light the beacons!" scenario from Return of the King.

 

[calee]

I have this mental image of all us waiting with baited breath for news of Nadia's fart.  

 

Maybe a "Light the beacons!" scenario from Return of the King.

 

Sophie, you are a very funny girl!

[Nadia B]

Come on, ballerinas don't fart*

*lie

[Nadia B]

Ok, couple more fart jokes and I am fixed, so keep em coming. Laughed so hard when discovered all these posts. 

 

Nothing much happening. Still bloated but less. Rain all days. Long weekend, thank God.

 

Little basket of apricots in one sitting and a bit of a guilt.

 

New life of old forgotten recipes - beets, courgette, avocado, lemon, parsley and tahini/sesame seeds. So tasty.

 

Threw away scoby as it got inhibited by fruit flies.

 

Went to the Matchbox20 concert. Silly dancing and jumping. Not their fan but it reminds me of the first year at Uni. Good memories.

Nice walk to and from the venue (1 hour walk each way). Got a little "bitching" moment. You know how much of a crap food is sold at the concerts? Everyone is drinking and eating pizza, fries and processed crap. I was a bit bitter for a while. I mean why the f all these girls have perfect skin, glowing hair yet they eat this disgusting stuff and don't give a damn. I ate a 5 oz of deli meat that probably had dextrose or such (I actually washed it. For real) because I was stuck at my desk and was planning to get lunch out that day. I was COVERED in rashes and breakouts by the evening. Not fair kind of thoughts. Well, it's my journey and I deal with what I have. Moreover, I am grateful for what I have even if I am not in my best form. 

 

Skyped with Granny this morning. She started to yell - "FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY YOU PUT FAT ON". Facepalm. Thank you, grandma. She is funny though. Love her, you know a lot about my special connection with my magic gardener/bee keeper. I'll show you them! 52 years of marriage this year. I took this picture when they came to Toronto. They are so lovely.

 

Date tomorrow but I have nothing to wear to feel ok. Pregnant dresses hello. I won't call it promising, but I will have fun for sure. We are going to the market for the grilled seafood. The place I usually go on Fridays. No awkward eating habits explanations, phew.  

 

Now the tragic news. Surgery went not so good. They couldn't complete it and I have more of crazy stuff like 3D X-rays and bone building stuff going on. What so tragic? He told me I might not be able to dance, workout or do anything for couple months. I almost cried. This is awful. I am skipping my second workout last weeks and suffer already. No activity sounds like a little death. Don't tell me that it might be exactly what I need. 

[Nadia B]

Beets avocado salad.

Dress bought without trying on. Possibly for a date? I need a belt for this one for sure.

Finally, introducing Grams!

[Physibeth]

What a cute dress! And what a cute grams! 

 

Boo on the dental surgery. Can you get a 2nd opinion? I hate dentists even though I really like my dentist (as in he is nice). 

 

I totally get the it's not fair thing having struggled with my weight since I was 12. Just remember that just because they have markers of health that doesn't mean they are healthy. Ride your bike and let them ride yours. I've been re-reading the Chronicles of Narnia and Aslan answers the question "what about them?" every time with "I'm telling you your story not theirs. I can only tell you your story." or something the like.

 

Hope the date goes well! I'm having a date with hubster tonight and I'm wearing a super cute skirt for the occasion. 

[Physibeth]

Ok, couple more fart jokes and I am fixed, so keep em coming. Laughed so hard when discovered all these posts. 

 

 

Did you laugh hard enough to make you fart?     

[LadyM]

Love your grams, Nadia!

 

I can't remember what the dental surgery is about, but if you have inflammation up in there and this may take care of it, it could impact everything else for the better. When my dad went to a fmd years ago, he said there was nothing he could do for him until he got his funky root canals taken care of. Inflammation anywhere in the body affects the rest of the body.

 

Whatever the case, I hope you get to feeling better soon.

[Nadia B]

Hey ho, look who is here. How is the muse, visiting? If you skipped that part - I am finally trying yoga Nidra. Inspired by you and your advice.

Yes, exactly, I see this a part of getting everything health related straigt! What was supposed to be a simple filling turned out to be a crazy extracting, implants etc. Won't get into details for obvious reasons

Hope you are having wonderful vacations.

[LadyM]

Forgot to comment on yoga--YES! I am so happy for you. Do it up for $40. It could do wonders for you! Yoga has been a game changer for me. I would hate to think where I'd be without it.

 

Oof. Dental stuff is no fun, no fun at all. But maybe in the end it will turn out to be a good thing, as I mentioned.

 

Keep us posted on the yoga, especially yoga nidra. Deep relaxation is where it's at!

[Nadia B]

It was one of my favorite books when I was a kid! I know this part. It is true, it's my life and I do what makes sense to me. I really think they are all healthy etc, it's not even jealousy, it's just a false assumption that it comes easy to everyone but me. I don't let these thought to occupy my head for too long. Self distruction is not on my hobbies list.

Thanks for reminding of this line and relating to the problem. Yay for skirt, have fun on your date.

[Lizzard77]

Nadia, I sympathize with not being able to workout or be active.  I have not always exercised per se but I am very active and am moving from the time I wake up to the time I make myself settle into bed at night.  I cannot stand it when I am forced off my feet, and the hubs has a terrible time keeping me there.  I won't say that it might be what you need cause it would drive me into a depression and you seem to be a go goer as well thus, I would not wish "bed rest" upon you!

 

I have been going through teeth issues something awful as well.  Interestingly enough the mysterious joint pain coincided almost to the day that my teeth fell apart.  I think LadyM is right, inflammation is inflammation is inflammation and it throws the whole body off track.  I hope for your sake that the recovery won't be so terrible and it possibly helps with some of your other ailments.  I sure hope that for me! 

 

Have a fabulous date tonight!!!!

[Beets]

Teeth are the worst. Everyone in my family has awful teeth. My most recent dentist was skeptical, but my sister had her first root canal at 9 even though my mom was fairly vigilant in terms of eating too much sugar. 

 

Lady M, you scared me with your FMD story! I have a tooth that bugs me on and off. I need to replace the filling. I'm afraid to go back, afraid it'll turn into another root canal and plus I don't have the money (though I have spent that money, for sure, on other things since I found out about it). 

 

Nadia, I had to get an implant. I had a bridge that fell out seriously five days before my wedding--right next to my canine on top, not something in the back. The implant that's there now though is totally fine and I usually forget about it. (It's the rest of my teeth that are rotting.) 

 

 

I hope you don't have to give up your ballet, etc., for a long time! Though I don't see why that would be the case. When I got my implant I coudln't exercise right after the extraction, but I did during the rest of the process. And it takes awhile bc you have to build up the jawbone, let the post heal into the bone, blah blah blah. I was definitely exercising during that time. And my dentist was a teacher at Columbia University's dental school: a pretty smart, with-it guy. 

 

Oh and ditto on the yoga. My all-time favorite yoga teacher was also at a big corporate gym. She was amazing in all ways. 

[calee]

Nadia, thank you for introducing Grams. She has an incredibly expressive face. Love her ethnic look. The couple pics are so adorable. I hope hat I have a loving, fun guy to grow old with. Their energy was fun to look at.

I'm so sorry about your tooth. I remember someone on Marks Daily forum said she had a Dental problem and gained 4 pounds of inflamation that came off as soon as the tooth problem was fixed. I hate the thought of you hurting.

Dress is cute. Big red belt?

[Nadia B]

Calee, thanks. Their story and relationship sort of spoiled my personal life - unrealistic expectations and such. I belive in truly loving each other even after 50 years of marriage.

Liz, I would think that you run around non stop. With fermenting factory, garden, kitchen and family responsibilities you have I wonder if you have 36 hours in a day. Restless bunch we are here.

Oh my, everyone has a dental horror to share. The only thing I hate about dentists is the price for their company. Other than that I don't are for sounds, needles or machines.

Red belt you say? Definitely...if I liked a guy. I don't care much, but he is an interesting person to hang out with. Anyways, I woun't impress him much today, because my face is puffy from tears and I just want to lay face down on my bed. I went to the lady's doc. Told her about hair, she said that I look like I've gained weight (will you stop mentioning it people?!), she checked my labs back in May and said that my thyroid was border line normal on low side. B**ch, you said it was ok back then. More labs, new doctors and a bright possibility if hypothyroid. I lost it and was crying all the way to the gym...and all the class. Instructor freaked out I think. I was so weak, I couldn't do anything. I wanted to throw up all the class. I wanted to leave 5 times but thought that it will pass. I have zero control over my own body. So sorry guys, ignore this crap. I just have no one to share, don't want to scare Granny and Mom doesn't care much it seems. I will be fine someday. Ok, time to get ready for a date.

I wonder what have I done in my life so the karma police hates me big time. Okok, no more complaining. Dress in action.

[Nadia B]

P.S. don't get me wrong, I love Mom very much. She has Dad to take care of and two jobs. I don't expect her to be involved in all this. I wish she showed a little bit of sympathy.

[Moluv]

Nadia, I'm so sorry you are going through this you really must REST more. Going to the gym crying sounds like stress upon stress. I know it's not what you want to hear at all, but it could easily be true. Tough love! And also, your apartment is darling, a place without children with pillows IN the chairs, and what, was that a neatly arranged and smudge proof console I saw, what is that like? Fresh flowers?!?! I'm so jealz.

[Physibeth]

*big hugs* 

 

I'm sorry everything seems to be bowling over at once. I hate that feeling. Let yourself relax today. Enjoy your date while you rock that super cute dress.

 

Here is something to make you smile.

 

I just saw a chickadee drinking from my hummingbird feeder. One of the weirder things I have seen. I tried to take a picture but it flew away before I got a chance. Silly birds.

[Lizzard77]

Well, I for one m looking forward to hearing how the date went   I hope you can find some respite from these ailments.  It horrible to feel like your body is crashing down around you.  It will take time but it sounds like you are tackling the right things.  I have to agree though with Moluv, stress sounds like a major factor in your life and that may need some examining. 

 

Regardless of circumstances however, you look totes fab in your LWD, dahling!

[Nadia B]

Uhoh, it feels terrible. I remember killing these workouts. I have reduced my exersices a lot and it didn't help. So yes. Decision is made. Freezing my gym membership. Ballet term will end July and there will be a break till mid September. Yoga, walking, circus (not giving up for anything). Will have to adjust my meals to the lower side of template because of the activity level. Lots of broth and no starches per GAPS stuff. Blahblah. Trying to find my way out, but it's a trap. At least I know that I am moving towards resolving my issues. It sucks that I have to deal with periods, hormones, teeth, weight and everything at once. But it's all related, soooo.

Date. It was good, spent 5 hours together. He is smart and travelled everywhere in the world. Plus we speak same language. Walked, ate my favorite grilled swordfish, I had dairy free blueberry basil sorbet (he had chocolate galato, boo). Walked to the stages where Toroto Jazz is happening and llistened to some nice live music. I showed him my fav shop with incredible oils and vinegars (like pomegranate chilie infused aged balsamic). He is a crazy foodie. Food is the major bonding thing everywhere. Ironically enough. But I don't care for him much. Sometimes I feel emotionally impared. How do you make friends with guys? I am really bad at this. He would be a fantastic friend.

Walked for 3 hours because I couldn't stay home. Finally got my grains and ubercool water bottle with the charcoal filter. I hate that I constantly cheer myself up with stuff. Because I know that main things in life are not things at all. I should end this crazy post and go to bed.

P.s. Tulsi tea is freaking amazing.

P.s2. I ate chocolate. Whole bar. Doooh.

P.s3. I think there is another date coming up. Why why why it comes when I feel like I am big and clumsy. Good time to practice confidence.

[Moluv]

that stuff would cheer me up 

[Nadia B]

and what, was that a neatly arranged and smudge proof console I saw, what is that like? Fresh flowers?!?! I'm so jealz.

--------

Uh, I have no idea what did you refer to with this line Excuse moi, my "English is no good" (must be pronounced with any typical accent). Fresh cut flowers yes, since all the plants in the pots (except herbs) seem to die here Only mint stalk is growing like crazy.

[percypat]

Oh Nadia!  More hugs!  More smooches!

 

You look so adorable in your cute white dress.  I'm glad you had a nice time with the man.  It doesn't matter if you're not attracted to him.  You can totally be friends.  Why shouldn't you have a nice guy friend to hang out with?

 

Loved the pictures of your grandparents 

[LadyM]

I think you are making friends with the foodie guy. It is tough to figure out what to do when he likes you likes you and you just want to be friends. But it's too early to worry about that now.

 

You looked fabulous--I'm so sorry you didn't feel fabulous (and haven't in some time). I have a radical idea: what if while you take a break from the gym and are undergoing all the other stuff, you take a break from trying to fix yourself with food? I don't mean give up eating clean by any means, but I mean give up the expectation altogether and just enjoy the foods you love and make you feel best? Does that make any sense? I think you've alluded to a similar thing with meals recently. Since nothing seems to be doing the trick you might as well eat what you like. I just wonder if it's possible for you to take a break from the perfectionism that's plaguing you and take it easy for a little while. Shift focus from food and exercise to relaxation. Do the yoga, the yoga nidra, do everything you can to get good sleep and just roll with it. There's only so much we can do to control our bodies (clearly), but our minds are something we can, with practice, develop mastery over. (But it takes a lot of practice and a lot of surrendering. . . . )

 

So much love to you!

[Nadia B]

Long weekend here! Pride week here! Tummy still acts up. Acne is worst than ever. I am doing my best to...you guess it...to convince myself that I wi be ok. Quick pictures and catching up on reading/replying tomorrow. Off to the salsa on the beach and more fireworks on the lakeshore. Weee. If only I wasn't feeling a giant.