LadyM's seduction continues (sur son propre velo)

[melbournegirl]

Yum... Now I want to make my fave pork carnitas.... Massive work party this morning and they left the food out all day! I stayed strong until 4 pm when I caved and had a giant handful of peanut M&Ms. That ended my 12 day stretch of sugar free... Which I celebrated with a glass of wine at dinner... That's okay. My next function is in 7 days so I know I can/will be compliant again till then.

[LadyM]

Your plan seems to be working well for you, Juz. I think what amounts to an off road about once a week is a sustainable way to live.

[LadyM]

I am having a hell of a time waking early and getting my a$$ to Bootcamp. I haven't used an alarm all summer, and let me tell you it's a rude awakening! That, and I really require 8-9 hours a night, and being asleep by 8 in the summer seems all but impossible. I tend to get a second wind right around then. I suppose I just need to suffer through a day of having had short sleep so I'll be tuckered out early. Too bad I am loathe to suffer.

No toots yesterday despite the yogurt, which could mean any number of things. Eggs could be the culprit, since I'd been on hiatus from eggs for a couple days. Or maybe I'm getting used to the yogurt. Or maybe my gut flora is getting back to where it needs to be. As usual, too many variables.

But I must say that eating wisely, not too much, and without overthinking it is pretty wonderful right now. Shifting focus to my work seems to be helping, too. Now to get back into a good rhythm with movement!

[SaraRuns]

Getting used to an alarm clock again will be tough.

 

Focusing on work/life/other endeavors definitely helps me from obsessing about food/what I'm eating/weight.

[Beets]

I think one of my big problems these days has been a lack of veggies. Now that it's a bit cooler I have no more excuses on the food prep front. 

 

M, I agree about the handwritten journal. I started keeping a physical journal this summer--sporadically--and I love the feeling of writing longhand. It definitely brings out a different side, more silly and playful and yes more dreamy. 

 

Congrats on your release from PT!

[LadyM]

Back to school and back to bootcamp/cardio push classes and it's wiping me out, but in a good way, I think.

 

TMI warning: I've been constipated for a week, though, despite ostensibly doing everything right nutritionally (though it started with a very snacky evening in which I ate a couple rxbars and some jerky, two likely culprits; note to self--yet another reason why they are EMERGENCY food only) and adding every possible home remedy for this terrible situation. Ugh. I even took castor oil last night, and it helped moderately. The only thing I haven't done is drink epsom salts in water which I know would start the water works, but only because it's so harsh. My period started today, and I've noticed sometimes the hormone shift starts things rolling again, so I'm hopeful.

 

OK, sorry. That was a rough re-entry to the forum. 

 

Other than that, not much to report. I've stayed compliant except for some whole milk in my tea and drunk warm before bed with ghee in it (a surefire weight gainer, of course, but a constipation reliever according to ayurveda) and some post wo whey. I'm thinking the increased exercise, especially the cardio, will help get and keep me regular. Fingers crossed. But only good things can come of it as long as I listen to my body and watch my form, right?

 

I'm sore as all get out, which actually feels good to me, and my back is doing fine. In fact, I think it feels better the more I move. HIIT on the treadmill is cool. I like it. And getting back to weights is showing me both how much strength I've miraculously retained as well as what I still have to gain. Again, I'm hopeful that my body will respond quickly, and I'll be back to feeling like myself in a matter of months if not weeks. As always, it's the long haul I'm interested in, and I'm choosing to accept myself as I am and just keep making smart choices to support good health. The constipation makes me question the reliance on protein three times a day--even though I've been keeping to the smallest side of the template--but I know that cutting back too much on it rudely awakens the sugar dragon. Keeping him sleeping soundly is the best result of W30 in my book.

 

As I mentioned, I'm playing with is adding whey post workout, and so far so good. I've only used it twice, but I think I'll keep it up. So, I work out fasted in the morning and then follow it with a scoop of clean whey and water. Then I shower and get ready and have breakfast after if I'm hungry, or skip it if I'm not. I only do this on MWF, my morning workout days. Template meals for lunch and dinner. Been eating the same thing, pretty much. Lunch is a japanese yam topped with GF mince, avo and kraut; dinner is a veggie stir fry topped with two eggs and either carrot or apple dipped in pate. Been getting my chicken liver on.

 

Now I'm getting hungry for fall foods. Today I think I'll throw together my favorite roasted bnut squash and brussels sprout salad and some pureed soup to have on hand. I have some pretty magnificent bone broth in the fridge I'd like to use another way than sipping a mug of it before bedtime. And I cannot let it spoil, because I used GF beef bones that cost a pretty penny and days of cooking. It's chock full of marrow and created some tallow for cooking as well. Trying to keep the fats more moderate, though. 

 

Which brings me to the real talk: that I'm struggling with weight and body image again. Trying to keep my head above water on this one, but it's such a disappointment to have stayed with W30 for so long and not have my clothes fit any better. I mean, yes, after months of being laid up with my back my clothes aren't really any tighter, and I should absolutely celebrate and see that as a win. But. You know I can't help but wonder if there's a better way for my body. My fear of awakening the sugar dragon and all the nasty fallout that comes from that keeps me on the path, though. 

 

Anyway, I know we all struggle with this to some extent, but I needed to come clean and fess up. And acknowledge that AF and the internal backup are surely an influence as well.

 

And I guess I need to keep focused on the fact that I'm able to work out again and how truly wonderful that is. Plus, I'm pleased that I'm making the transition back to a 5 am wakeup. I put myself to bed between 8:30 and 9, and though I'm not bounding out of bed when the alarm goes off, I'm able to get up, get to the gym, have my day, and stay alert--without caffeine, I'd like to add--all day. I've been kind of crashing in the evenings, but hoping that's just part of the transition.

 

Seems we're all doing our best with the fall transition and struggling a bit, no? It helps me to know I'm not alone in it. Best of luck to all of us, and may we enjoy the bounty and pleasures of the season!

[pjena]

M!  Welcome back! 

 

I'm sorry about the constipation.  I hate that.  I've dealt with that a bit since my vacation. 

 

I'm glad to hear your back is holding up with your return to bootcamp. 

 

I'm starting to think butternut squash and apples and brussels, too.  Though, I'm mourning the departure of fresh figs.  So sad.  It would be worth moving to CA just to have a fig tree in my back yard! 

 

So sorry about the body issues.  I'm in the same boat.  Trying very hard to just accept and not get down.  The way I see it, I did the calorie counting, obsessing, restricting, over-exercising, vegan, etc, thing for years and slowly gained weight.  That I can maintain without the sugar roller coaster ride and without all that mental effort is worth it for me.  I can't think of a "better way for my body" so I'll stick with this for now.  AF and being irregular definitely affect the coming and going of these feelings!  Just power through, eat calm, and it will pass.

[Physibeth]

Good to see you! Great to be back in a routine isn't it? Sorry about the constipation...I do notice that I'm prone to be more constipated right around my period so perhaps that is what it is. 

 

Totally understand the body issues. Focus on the positives and ditch the negatives. I'm with Jen, after years of battling and yo yoing and gaining it is nice to mostly just maintain. Revel in your strength and your energy and the many other positives! 

[LadyM]

Thanks, gals! Your supportive and encouraging words are very uplifting when I'm feeling down.

 

Butternut squash and brussels sprouts are currently roasting in the oven and they smell divine. I've been in something of a cooking slump on top of everything else, so I'm looking forward to getting inspired tomorrow at the farmer's markets and then back in the habit of plenty of greens and veggies on hand. 

 

All good things here on out!

[Nadia B]

Sometimes I am trying to convince myself that life is trying to teach me something. Stop being in constant need of control? Stop being in need of having a logical reasoning behind everything happening? Letting go? Acceptance? Because really sometimes it gets to this point where you wreck your brain about "WHAT.ELSE.DO.YOU.NEED". As much as it's a miracle of maintaining same body composition while being injured or way more active, sometimes it drives crazy. I know all about it.

 

I hope it will pass soon as it always does. Enjoy the feeling of exhaustion, thrill and pride in going all out moving. Sweat is a miracle. We might wonder what nutritional combination works best but at least we will never doubt how proper movement boosts the quality of life. Sore is the new sexy? Haha. 

 

P.S bathroom troubles. Raspberries or chia are my miracle go-to. Warm water with lemon first thing in the morning too. Digestive tea blend is usually helping pretty well. When this time of month comes I always have change in this department too. 

[Deb.]

Magnesium or a cup of Smooth Move does it every time. 

 

http://www.gnc.com/Traditional-Medicinals-Smooth-Move/product.jsp?productId=2134116

[LadyM]

Thanks Deb and Nadia! Magnesium supplement happens every night--it's not likely a magnesium issue. I've been drinking a concoction of liquid chlorophyll, flax, chia, flaxseed oil and some warm water morning and night followed by a bunch more water for a week. Nothing. Such weirdness. Things are starting to move now, though. Would really like to figure out how to get and stay regular and not stress about it.

Yes to enjoying the miracle of movement that makes you sweat. Sore IS the new sexy! Love that!

[Deb.]

Another thought - a friend of mine swears by Triphala for regularity. 

I know you know your ayurveda so you're prob familiar. 

 

Could it be the whey? I am highly allergic to dairy and have seen the havoc it wreaks on my system so I am always trying to steer people away from it.

 

I had a body image moment when getting dressed to go out last night so empathize there. 

 

Sounds like you are doing great otherwise!!

[melbournegirl]

I've been hiding in winter clothes for awhile... But I had to dress up for a formal dinner. I had bought a new sparkly fringy jacket to go over a plain black dress and when I put on the right shoes I looked okay... But I was sad about the bulges in and over the stockings... Didnt help that it was a new grad dinner so lots of young things looking good in dresses... Without the jackets of course. I'm getting old!

But it did remind me that its possible to still look good as long as you chose the right clothes! So I will make sure I do that!

Life is full of ups and downs... And the longer you live the more you have!

[SaraRuns]

So sorry about the regularity issues!  Ugh, I feel your pain.  And nothing quite causes body image issues for me like being irregular. I have a complicated routine that seems to be working for me about 93% of the time.  I'm not sure why it is so difficult.  I hope you get it all sorted out.

 

My body image issues also continue.  I have a girls weekend planned in October and I'm already starting in on myself about clothes and how I'll look etc.  I am doing my best to keep the negative internal talk down and to focus on the good time we'll have, not on how I'll look.  Work in process for me for sure!    

 

Wonderful news about your back and I'm glad you are getting back to your Fall routine.  It is good to see you back, you were missed.

[LadyM]

Thanks for commiserating, friends, though it doesn't exactly make me feel better to be reminded that the body image BS is an effing epidemic. God help us. Truly.

Why is it that I never had regularity issues when I ate more crap? Is it an aging thing?

I have a feeling this bout was caused by a pms related magnesium dip. Dark chocolate has a big dose of magnesium and that's reason we crave chocolate before our periods. The body's signal that we need magnesium. So, even though I take a supplement every night, I may need to increase it the week before my period. I'll try it next month. And in the meantime, keep my water and cardio and veggies up. It's the best I can do. Fact is, my metabolism is sluggish because of my thyroid, and that slows everything down, unfortunately.

So, bootcamp is great. Back again this morning, and loving the HIIT on the treadmill afterward. Basically, the instructor coaches us through intervals. SO much more fun than zoning out on your own in the cardio theater.

Food is fine. Did a huge cookup the likes of which I haven't done since my last W30. Made gingery chicken stew beefed up with extra veggies (wonderful for breakfasts) and silky zucchini soup with my magnificent bone broths; a bison roast in the crotch pot; the roasted squash and brussels sprouts salad; a bunch of baked sweet potatoes; a double batch of oven fried salmon cakes. I guess that's it. But it seemed like a lot at the time!

I start my new class tomorrow, and aside from service and meetings, the rest of my time is focused on writing, which is easier said than done--but I am making progress.

That's all I'm asking myself, really, Keep showing up, keep making progress. In all things. Little by little. Even when I can't see progress. Keep showing up.

[melbournegirl]

I like that mantra... Keep showing up. Depression runs in my family and I have been feeling off balance lately, that helps!

[SaraRuns]

Keep showing up is a great mantra!

 

One of these days I really need to do a big cook up on the weekend.  I always prep my breakfasts on the weekend, and at least a couple of lunches.  But dinners are always a panic during the week (and weekend too, really).

 

So glad to hear bootcamp is going so well!

[LadyM]

Second week down of bootcamp and cardio push three times a week, and it feels so good to be moving again and pushing myself just enough. I mean, I was swimming and doing yoga and walking throughout the injury, but there's something about the weights and HIIT that gets me to a different endorphin level or something. And today I give myself credit for showing up even though I had to talk myself into getting out of bed and getting there at the last minute. No matter. I showed up.

 

Still struggling with body image junk even though my gut is much happier. I think it's partly because I've genuinely put on a couple of pounds and feel uncomfortable carrying it in my middle, as I always do. Just trying to be patient and give it time and be grateful that I can be back at the gym and that I didn't gain more than I did. Given the fact that I suffered the injury and have endured the year after my mom died, it's pretty good, actually. I think without the support of paleo/W30/W9, the damage would have been a lot worse. You know, like 30, instead of 5 pounds gained. Not that I actually have a number, because I still never step on the scale. But that's how it feels.

 

I've been eating a lot more starchy veg and not being so stingy about fruit and I think that is helping tremendously. It worries me a little for weight loss' sake, but I think being in deprivation mode when it comes to starches hasn't been doing me any favors. Nothing seems to work magic anyway, so I might as well give it a shot for a while and see how it goes. I also have been struggling with my moods and probably blood sugar and not sure how to define it--grief? depression? frustration? stress?--but it dawned on me this morning that the long-term deliberate low-carb/very limited starches and sugars could be contributing to the problem. And I know they can also be helpful for supporting thyroid, so there's all kinds of reasons to just go for it. So this means eating a small sweet potato or half cup of butternut squash twice a day rather than twice a week as I had been doing and having a piece of fruit once or twice a day as well.

 

Really trying to figure out a balanced way to truly nurture myself. I know this means nourishing myself, enjoying myself, giving myself exactly what I need--not too much and not too little--and after a lifetime of pushing, forcing, denying, depriving, following others' plans rather than turning inward and listening deeply to what I need at every given moment and accepting that it shifts and changes, it's a challenge. But one that's so necessary to take up.

 

So, I toy with the idea of doing another W30 now and then I decide that no, it's not the best way to nurture myself right now. I am continuing to eat to template three times a day, but I'll use a little honey or maple syrup now and again in my tea or coffee, and I am occasionally using whey for post wo. I had a run-in with the almond butter one night, so trying to avoid that habit. And I had a stretch with warm milk before bed, but that's done now. I don't think dairy is the best thing for me, though whey seems to be OK. Considering trying legumes in the form of beans again. Longing to have my favorite fall soup: kale, butternut squash and white beans in homemade bone broth and with lots of sage. Anyone else excited for soup season (for those of us who are in fall)?

 

That's where I'm at. And getting more work done and getting myself out into the world more. That's why I'm spending less time here lately, but I'll continue to check in from time to time, catch up with y'all, and update my progress. Progress, not perfection. Accepting who and where I am. And keep showing up.

[pjena]

I'm in the same boat - not getting any magic so might as well eat sweet potatoes. LOL  Although, I honestly believe I'd see some results if I could get myself to cut out nut butters. Some day. 

 

I'm so happy that you're able to get back to the exercise you love! 

 

I need to focus on nourishing myself this fall, too.  It's the only way I'll get through it with my sanity.  Nutbutter dipping isn't helping.  I will think on some other ways I can take care of myself.  Now that it's not hot outside, warm baths will be an option.  But, only on Friday night which is after the cleaning lady comes but before the kids mess it up. LOL  Warm tea is a good one for me, too.  I'll make myself a list to look at when I'm stressed.  Thanks for inspiring the idea. 

[LadyM]

Kickass workout this morning followed by my new fave post WO "meal": decaf blended with a spoonful of canned pumpkin, 1/2 t pumpkin pie spice, and a scoop of whey. Like magic, it's a frothy pumpkin spice latte, delicious, and utterly not W30 compliant. But it's working for me.

Over the weekend I rested a lot, did yoga, went for walks, read, and wrote. Pretty blissful, actually.

I still have food from last week's mad cookup, so all I prepped for this week was some chicken veg soup with hm bone broth and a new quiche recipe with spaghetti squash as crust. Haven't tasted either yet, but I know they'll serve their purpose. I'm in a phase of not caring too much about food unless it makes me feel bad. So, clean unexciting stuff on hand is fine by me. And I've gotten into a habit of finishing eating for the day early, like my last meal is at 3:30 pm early. Kind of weird, but I've been going to bed earlier and earlier, like before 9, and up by 5, and the emptier my stomach the better I sleep.

Still trying to figure out what it means to give my body the right amount of food--no more than it can easily digest. I guess it's changing all the time, but as I've said before--though frequently forget--I tend to feel better with less food. Not deprivation, mind you, but slowing down, listening, and responding to exactly what my body needs. Food, water, sleep, movement, breath. It's all at my fingertips all the time, and so mindfulness and discernment are crucial.

[pjena]

  If it's working for you, go for it!  I'm glad you had a nice weekend. 

 

I wish I slept well with an emtpy stomach.  I wonder if that's something I could train my body to do.  If I go to bed a tiny bit hungry, it's ok, but if I'm actually hungry, I will wake up in the middle of the night starving and not be able to go back to sleep.  I hate that! 

[SaraRuns]

We are food opposites.  I have trouble getting started with eating, but can't imagine stopping eating at 3:30 for the day, even if I was going to bed at 8!

 

Your pumpkin latte sounds awesome!  And I'm glad that the reason that you have been here less is because you are out and about and putting yourself out there.

 

This past weekend I made poor food choices and overate.  It was a good reminder that overeating does not serve me well.  I wish I didn't need that lesson.

[SaraRuns]

Oh, I saw you mentioned soup.  Any great Fall soup recipes?  I'll stick with my green morning soup (love getting all those greens in first thing), but soup does go well with the cooling weather.

[LadyM]

What's your green morning soup, Sara? It's not the peer trainer one, is it? I'm thinking it might be time for that one again. 

 

I've enjoyed this gingery chicken stew adapted with coconut aminos for the soy and I add chopped green cabbage and fresh fennel bulb for added greens.

 

Other than that, i just basically throw what I have in a pot of bone broth, riffing on the old WW zero points soup. Tons of veggies, always cabbage and onion, sometimes peppers, fennel, carrot, zucchini, whatever, maybe a can of tomatoes and cubed chicken when I have it. I use my mandolin on the veggies to make them uniform and thin and use whatever seasoning suits me. Very satisfying.

 

Also, I might go for a roasted butternut squash soup soon, in honor of starchy veg, but this weekend is supposed to be downright summery. The weather is diverting me from my romance with soup.