LindaLee Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 (Warning: I'm on Day 4...so I am in the first phases of Kill All The Things. My apologies.) I love this place. I really do. But if I read one more post where someone says, "OMG! It's just three hours into my Whole30 and every ailment I've had has been cured!" I'm going to take one of my well-used, sweat-stained knives to my wrists. (JK. Really. I'm a mental health professional...it's all good.) Because I am STRUGGLING. I KNOW it's Not That Hard. I know it's Just Food. I know assistance is just around the corner (which is why I'm posting here so please don't hurt me). And yet...and yet...I feel bummed and pouty and just...blech. Which is a technical term for sort of subthreshold mild depression with a soupcon of two-year-old tantrum thrown in just to make things interesting. This isn't my first Whole30 Rodeo, which is part of what makes it soooo aggravating....at myself...because really, self? You expected to go 80/20 in the WRONG direction and have it feel 100% good to pry your fingers off that ice cream after just four days?? Silly silly rabbit. It isn't THAT magical! I don't want to drag anyone down into the negative, but I do want to know that I'm not alone in this sort of sarcastic place - that isn't really about not being able to have the food I want, but just about being weepy and kind of irritable. And feeling sorry for myself because I won't see my husband for another three days and I have all this stupid kitchen stuff to do when what I really want to do is...hmmm. Actually I'm not sure what that is. Play Hayday? Maybe. Go for a run? Nah, too hot...and it's my rest day...which also might explain the blues (no exercise endorphins). The good news is that despite this, I haven't turned off road. I've told myself that I can do this for 90 days (that's my plan), because 30 days isn't enough for me to stick that sugar demon in the throat once and for all. Every time I have been tempted to swing by the store and grab that ice cream, I've used prayer and this place and just plain crying (because feeling the feelings is infinitely better than trying to eat them into submission) my way through it...and so far that's worked. And so here I am, keeping my fingers busy simultaneously complaining and appealing (compealing?) to all of you to help me see that I'm not alone, that there are days when I'm not the only one hanging on by my fingernails one minute and smiling happily the next. So? (Oh, oh, oh...and people who are experiencing the miracle? Yay!!! And keep posting...because I NEED to believe that that's just around the next turn of the clock for me.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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