LindaLee Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 (Warning: I'm on Day 4...so I am in the first phases of Kill All The Things. My apologies.) I love this place. I really do. But if I read one more post where someone says, "OMG! It's just three hours into my Whole30 and every ailment I've had has been cured!" I'm going to take one of my well-used, sweat-stained knives to my wrists. (JK. Really. I'm a mental health professional...it's all good.) Because I am STRUGGLING. I KNOW it's Not That Hard. I know it's Just Food. I know assistance is just around the corner (which is why I'm posting here so please don't hurt me). And yet...and yet...I feel bummed and pouty and just...blech. Which is a technical term for sort of subthreshold mild depression with a soupcon of two-year-old tantrum thrown in just to make things interesting. This isn't my first Whole30 Rodeo, which is part of what makes it soooo aggravating....at myself...because really, self? You expected to go 80/20 in the WRONG direction and have it feel 100% good to pry your fingers off that ice cream after just four days?? Silly silly rabbit. It isn't THAT magical! I don't want to drag anyone down into the negative, but I do want to know that I'm not alone in this sort of sarcastic place - that isn't really about not being able to have the food I want, but just about being weepy and kind of irritable. And feeling sorry for myself because I won't see my husband for another three days and I have all this stupid kitchen stuff to do when what I really want to do is...hmmm. Actually I'm not sure what that is. Play Hayday? Maybe. Go for a run? Nah, too hot...and it's my rest day...which also might explain the blues (no exercise endorphins). The good news is that despite this, I haven't turned off road. I've told myself that I can do this for 90 days (that's my plan), because 30 days isn't enough for me to stick that sugar demon in the throat once and for all. Every time I have been tempted to swing by the store and grab that ice cream, I've used prayer and this place and just plain crying (because feeling the feelings is infinitely better than trying to eat them into submission) my way through it...and so far that's worked. And so here I am, keeping my fingers busy simultaneously complaining and appealing (compealing?) to all of you to help me see that I'm not alone, that there are days when I'm not the only one hanging on by my fingernails one minute and smiling happily the next. So? (Oh, oh, oh...and people who are experiencing the miracle? Yay!!! And keep posting...because I NEED to believe that that's just around the next turn of the clock for me.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators ShannonM816 Posted July 6, 2014 Moderators Share Posted July 6, 2014 I'm not doing a W30 right now. I've done two, and feel so much better when I'm doing them, but I haven't been able to convince myself to do another, or I start, and then give in to a craving for ice cream, or decide I just really don't feel like doing all the food prep. At those moments, I feel like a whiny, temper-tantrum throwing child. There's some part of me saying, "But I don't WANT squash and spinach and sweet potatoes, I WANT ICE CREAM!" And I keep giving in to that. And then I feel guilty, which usually just makes me want more ice cream, and so on and so forth. So, I do understand the feelings. I've spent today cleaning out my fridge and prepping food for the week. I'm going to start tomorrow. I'm committing to a W7 and hoping that after that, it will be easier to commit to a longer period of time. And I hope I can keep the whiny 2 year old part of me in check. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
healthyAbby Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Your post was me last night, I was at my sister's party, I wanted the ice cream pies and other unhealthy foods, but my skin is clear and looks great. Keep up with it! Have patience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Physibeth Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 You are not alone. I've had plenty of days like this in my journey. I'm sure most people have. Stay strong and remember that even if part of you is the whiny 2 year old there is still part of you that is a responsible adult. Just make sure that adult stays strong enough to let the 2 year old have the temper tantrum without giving in. You can do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaLee Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 Thanks, Physibeth! Right now, at least the 2-year-old is not about the food but just about...well, I'm not sure the 2-year-old really knows, LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate B. Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I'm not in a place where I want to eat something off-plan, but I am having some SERIOUS inflammation right now, specifically my left wrist to my elbow, and while I don't want to kill all the things, I also really don't want to listen to anyone tell me how flipping amazing they feel. I was at a birthday party for my friend's wee little baby tonight, and one of my friends was going on and on about the month long juice cleanse she's been on and how she's never felt more alive (she's a little dramatic). She's done a whole30 with me before in the past, and her talking in no way made me want to drink my meals for 30 days (jeeeezzzz), but I also want to feel amazing....like right now, preferably yesterday. Okay, I will end my commiserating with you now. Onward? Onward. oh, and, YOU GOT THIS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaLee Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 Fantastic, Cate!! Just the laugh I needed! Oh, and...SO DO YOU!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyS Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 You're really doing great - just know that the feelings you're having are symptoms of the carb/sugar overload you're getting rid of. If you were continuing with the carb/sugar overload, you'd keep yourself in a cycle of high/crash in such a familiar pattern that you wouldn't even recognize the crash. It's withdrawal and it sucks. Deep breaths and be gentle with that inner toddler. Also, your post kinda made me chuckle. Hehe Hang in there! (Eat more fat and carbs like sweet potatoes while you're at it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill_L Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I am so relieved to see this post. I am on Day 5 and have just finished another crying jag. Feeling so alone and miserable and desperate. I was lying on my bed thinking, "Who can I talk to about this? No one will understand." Then I remembered this place. There are people here who get it. I love this thread. I put in a search for crying and this one came up. I don't think it's necessary to put in all the details, but my plan was to go for a full 3 weeks of no sugars or refined carbs. It's not a complete whole30 - food-wise or length-wise - but it was what I was willing to commit to at the time. (I wanted (still want) to be able to have wedding cake at my son's reception in three weeks.) But, as I was lying on the bed bawling my eyes out, I began to wonder if having sugar ever again is a good idea for me. Feeling this way sucks! Right now, it sure doesn't seem worth it. The last time (which was also the first time) I did a whole30 I was successful and don't remember it being this bad. But, now that I think about it, what I gave up at that point was wine, dairy and beans. I was already living sans sugar and flour products, (not counting the wine). It was a piece of cake (pun intended) compared to this one. I will have to contemplate the 90-day thing that was mentioned... My sugar dragon is strong and very, very pissed at me at the moment! Thanks again for starting this thread. It's a relief to know I am not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mariana Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Jill_L and all, Well, although I can relate to feeling alone and miserable. rest assured that this forum (or rather the people here), although virtual, have shown up everyday to be support for others and that can be a comfort! I wanted to suggest a book to you that was extremely life changing for me. It is an old book and would need to be adapted to be compliant, but the concepts in the book really really helped me. The Sugar Addict's Total Recovery Program by Kathleen Desmaison I was not a sugar addict myself, but a bread, pastry, scone, pasta addict. Which, is really the same thing to some extent - CARBS. So rather than dismiss the book, wherever I read "sugar" I replaced it with "bread" and it was an eye opener! The book may be rather dated at this point (but only 1c on amazon!), but it may give you some help and new ideas how to tame that dragon. {{hugs}} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hutlifr Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 So how do you feel now Linda? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaLee Posted July 14, 2014 Author Share Posted July 14, 2014 Crashed and burned for four days after seven. Back on track today... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kmlynne Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Oh, I have had so many days like this! Somewhere after day 70, I had another jag of "is this really worth it"? So, no, you are not alone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaLee Posted July 14, 2014 Author Share Posted July 14, 2014 Day 70?? I'd be ecstatic if I made it that far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaLee Posted July 15, 2014 Author Share Posted July 15, 2014 Good day today... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaryAndMe Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Is anyone else having trouble with the forum site? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaLee Posted July 18, 2014 Author Share Posted July 18, 2014 Day 4 again and had very very strong cravings today. I think it's emotional...I have a 10k this weekend and I'm nervous about it, because I strained my calf last week and I'm not sure it's completely healed. Plus my stepson is getting ready to leave for college in a month and my husband really is a bit of a wreck, so I'm feeling alternately sad and wanting to be supportive, with feeling frustrated because he's so distracted that he's not really "here" at home sometimes. Plus our summer schedule is off from its usual pattern, so he's away more days in a row than usual and...frustrating as he can be(so can I!) I miss him like crazy. This is going to be a very big change in our lives...for three years, we've spent every other weekend in a rental house near my stepson's mother's home, so my stepson could go to the same school with his friends and keep as much of his pre-divorce life as possible. Now my husband is packing up everything in the rental house and trying to figure out what to do with all the furniture, which is mostly nice antique things that he has had for quite a while; this is stressing him out on top of the anticipatory grief of his son moving away. In addition, my husband usually is gone two to three days and nights a week, depending on the visitation schedule. Now, after nearly three years of marriage, we're going to live together full time for the first time. It's a time I've been dreaming of...not having to drive back and forth, only one household and set of bills...but I'm still nervous!! So I think all that is contributing to my cravings. I followed the advice in "Made to Crave" and used each craving moment as an opportunity to pray and ask God for help (and to somehow help me make it through this 10k Saturday with joy)...I was able to resist the "one last time" demon and the frozen custard parlor, so thank you, God, for hearing my prayers!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amynlou Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 I am quitting smoking (after 10 years) at the same time as Whole30 plan, on day 4 now. This is pretty hard but no the hardest thing I've ever done, I figure if I can go without cake, I can go without cigarettes. This is gonna be tough but I just keep my eye on the prize, looking and feeling better than I have in years. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KelliS Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 LindaLee, I am SO with you! I've made it to day 9 and yes, I'd like to feel some magic this time around. I completed a Whole30 last summer and felt better but not fantastically fabulous. And yes, I'm jealous of all those who do experience the magic. I had to go to Target today and I silently cried throughout the store because my 2-year-old self wanted some ice cream. It's hot outside, man! I don't even like ice cream but today I wanted it more than anything. I made it home and ate a few raw almonds instead. I know I won't quit, I'm stubborn like that. But let's all stay with it for our health even if we don't get the tiger blood this time! WE GOT THIS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HolliAdrienne Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 I am on day 9, my husband is at work, my son is with his aunt...I am home alone. With the refrigerator. And the pantry. ALL DAY I have been wanting ALL THE FOOD...not just sugar...but chips, crackers, pasta, bread, just EVERYTHING. I am sure I could shove some ice cream down if I could find some. So...mad at the whole 30 and myself I just binged on all compliant food. I am so mad at myself, but I know it could've been worse. I am learning, I didn't go completely off plan, and this isn't going to happen again. I am still cranky and mad today. I read earlier last week that day 10 is when most people quit and I thought, WHY? I get it now. I AM NOT GOING TO QUIT, but, I get it. All 30 all the way, and beyond. We can all do this, and we are worth it! So, today isn't what I would call a success, but then again my last binge wasn't exactly on blueberries, bananas, and unsweetened almond butter. I am going to chalk this up to a learning session and move on. Much love to you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brooke3847 Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Wow, I'm glad that I'm not the only one in this crapy position... I am on day 7 and have reached the point where I'm that annoyed with the food choices and the fact I can't have milk in my tea that I would rather not eat. the compliant food has lost its charm and I am feeling annoyed, cranky and a bit depressed... I'm not seeing any improvements in my pimply skin, my sketchy bowels have not improved like I thought they would be and I'm tired of thinking of things to cook. I'm just over it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Strathdee Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 The good news is... you're right on track. Things don't improve for many people by this point - you've still got about a week before you hit the point where most folks start feeling the magic. This is a process, so just be patient and go with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ltaylor9597 Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 So incredibly happy to find this thread. Day 10 of my first ever Whole30 and I woke up tired and grouchy. I feel snappy at everyone. Even my chipper co-worker makes me want to say mean things. Definitely not who I am. I know it is a process. I know I need to be patient. I truly expected to feel like this the first week - not at this point. I can feel my own 2-year old gearing up for a temper tantrum. Right now I am just trying to push it aside and keep my eyes focused on the finish line. The days are getting harder right now, but, reading the comment earlier in the thread about "day 10 is when most people quit" added an extra scoop of stubbornness to plow right through today and be one day closer to the finish line. Looking forward to the days when I am not day dreaming about standing in the middle of a bakery surrounded by fresh crusty bread and fresh butter.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarieDallas Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Day 1 and I just had a large compliant breakfast (eggs, turkey sausage, mushrooms, avocado) and black coffee and I have a serious craving for something sweet (why is that? i'm definitely not hungry) so I thought I'd trawl through the forum for inspiration and I found it here. I really admire all of you who are on Day 10+. I miss cheese and cream in my coffee, toast and marmalade etc. etc. and it's only Day1. I can't imagine what I'm going to be like in a week! I read that fruit servings should only be 2 per day so I'll save my fruit ration until i can't stand it anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzy00 Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Oh you guys on here are so so amazing! i can definitely relate to cravings getting stronger when you are nervous. The whole30 experience has really made me realise how much i associate food with emotion.. any emotion! I found it really helpful to keep a journal and write down how im feeling about things and exploring why i turn to food when im feeling certain emotions. this also distracts you for a little ;P I am just coming to the end of day 11. yesterday was hard, i dont know if its psychological because i read around day 10 is hardest.. but i wanted to eat everything!! hehe got through it. did better today. Good luck all, i know you can do it. we are looking after our health and its worth pushing through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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