LadyM's seduction continues (sur son propre velo)


LadyM

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Thanks, Sara. The adjustment will settle down just in time for spring break, methinks!

 

After just one day of returning to W30 eating, I'm feeling much better. Reminding myself that all it takes is to string a few of these days together, one day at a time, to return to calm.

 

My one day shall turn into two, and with each day I feel more committed to doing a W30 in the near future.

 

I did not want to go to bootcamp this morning, but I'm so glad I did. I walked to the gym without a coat on! Before 6 am! Spring is here! Spring is here!

 

Teaching yoga tonight and looking forward to it. When I teach yoga at night I have to be careful about what and when I eat. So, simple lunch of chicken and green beans and then I may skip dinner altogether. Sometimes that's a better choice for me than eating late. We'll see.

 

Is it spring where you live yet?

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Yesterday was good until I got into the carrots and tahini, dang it. No more nut butters. I know better. But I succumbed to temptation. Again. *sigh*

 

Taught my first yoga class at a new place last night and it went really well. I was nervous, but no need. Very excited about this group I'm teaching. They're long-time advanced students and teachers (no wonder I was nervous!) and they're really fun to teach because they can do so much and rise to challenges beautifully. It's also my most lucrative gig, so that's a nice bonus.

 

Another bonus: I walked to work today. WOOT! Been thinking about how much I walk and bike everywhere when there's no snow on the ground and no wonder I put on weight in the winter. Even though I keep up bootcamp, barre, and yoga, the lessening of everyday movement is for real. It doesn't feel like much when I'm doing it, but when I'm not doing it it feels like a lot.

 

There's some kind of universal truth in there.

 

So, I'm not happy about where I'm at with my body and my eating just yet, but I'm getting on track. It takes time, every time. And I just need to be mindful, gracious, and compassionate. Remember nothing is permanent, and that can work in my favor when I allow it.

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Be kind to yourself!  (something I need to remind myself)

 

I'm definitely looking to the extra movement that comes with Spring/Summer.

 

Your yoga class sounds awesome.  I'm still at the beginner stage, but I like to try to rise to the challenge when the instructor tasks us with something a little out of our comfort zone.  There tends to be a lot of laughing when a level 1-2 class attempts grasshopper pose.  :)

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Thanks, Sara! And yes, let's all be kind to ourselves!

 

No chance I'll be teaching that pose anytime soon! We think of advanced practitioners less as contortionists and more as dedicated meditators who use  techniques such as pranayama (controlling energy with breath) and the bandhas (root lock, abdomen lifting, and chin lock) to deepen the practice. 

 

AF arrived today and explained so much of my bodily doubts, hungers, and sensations lately. *sigh of relief*

 

Made it to bootcamp first thing and walked to work. Off shortly for the final final of the term. WOOT! Next comes grading. notsowoot

 

Heading south to visit dad and stepmom Saturday. Hoping to squeeze in a barre class and a good walk tomorrow. Planning to bring them some yoga. They're game, though my dad has somewhat limited mobility from obesity and knee replacement. I'll at least offer them some guided meditation if they want. Dad's always been a great meditator--and got me started as a kid in his own ways, so the least I can do is return the favor now.

 

Eating not so great today, but contained. Went to lunch with a friend and it included fro-yo. I'm working my way up to W30. And I resisted the urge to blow the whole day by indulging in candy. Avoiding cookies tonight with the students is key to my feeling good about myself in the morning I've decided. And now I've announced it here. So it shall be!

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Cookie avoidance success!!

 

Working on connecting my W30 and WOE experience with my yoga practice more deliberately. Read an eye-opening article about brahmacharya, one of the Yamas, or restraints, that shifted my perspective about the damages of excess, and for me that means eating, and the benefits of managing sensory cravings. W30 is such an incredibly powerful tool in assisting with that--after the initial re-feed period during which the body is clamoring for nutrients!

 

Anyway, shifting from the obsessive thinking of weight loss to the much gentler idea of managing cravings and food intake for the higher purpose of balance is powerful for me. I believe Brahmacharya will be the focus of my April W30. We'll see where that takes me.

 

In other news, I spontaneously saw my gentle chiropractor I hadn't seen in months, because my lower back, left hip, and knees have felt out of whack. I think teaching two deeply hip opening yoga classes this week tweaked me in the wrong way physically--especially during AF, who notoriously allows the hips to overstretch with her hormonal influx. Anyway, I'm already feeling better.

 

Tying things up at home before my trip. Cleaning, organizing, meetings, taking care of business. Starting to look forward to my trip.

 

Also, since it worked last time, I'm summoning Beets to return to us! I always think of her in April, for she's the one who taught me "April is the cruelest month." Maybe that's one of the reasons I feel compelled to do a W30 during that month--to have something to focus and organize my malaise. I also just think spring is an important season during which to invite big shifts. Anyway, come back, Beets! :wub:

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I've really been trying to focus on my breathing during yoga, it is the one thing that seems to help me get my monkey brain under some kind of control.  I have a feeling that is a part of the practice that will always be challenging for me.

 

I love your Beets bat-call signal!  :)

 

I hope you enjoy your trip South and this time as you prepare for an April W30.  Marked your article to read later...

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It's so good to see you back, M!  And, I'll add my voice to summoning Beets back. :wub:

 

I feel the need to work myself back to a W30.  Or, at least I need to find my calm eating and ability to resist all the unnecessary junk that is everywhere.

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Had a lovely trip. It was just what I needed: a change of scenery, good company, warm sunny weather, and reconnection. Good stuff.

 

Now I'm back and gearing up for whatever is next. Deciding how and when this W30ish is going to happen. Reread my Whole 30 book for inspiration and think I'm ready to get back in the kitchen to make tasty food. I'm also sure about minimizing nuts and fruits and focusing on variety of veggies and leaner proteins, because my body seems to do better without fatty cuts of pork and beef. Also, I'm pretty happy with using my whey supplement from FMD. She's muscle tested and prescribed it, and it works well for me. So I may use it, which would make this thing not a real W30. But still thinking it over. Tempted to cut dairy altogether in hopes of improving my skin, which has spontaneously broken out over the past six weeks or so. I started eating totally compliant today, so we'll see. Today may be Day 1 of however many days of whatever this thing I'm doing may be. How's that for commitment?

 

Not sure how many W30s I've done at this point, and each has served me differently. Here's what I have gleaned over these years:

 

1. Sugar is the worst. In all its processed (and some unprocessed--I'm looking at you, dates) forms. 

2. I'm afraid this means dairy as well as gluten and non-gluten grains. They turn into FWOB for me.

3. This certainly means alcohol. Though I've done pretty well limiting that after the holidays. I've had two drinks this year and savored every sip.

4. Nuts and fruits are not my friend and limiting if not cutting them intermittently serves me well. Largely because I have a tendency to use them in their various forms as sugar stand ins.

5. I've had a thyroid set back and therefore know my metabolism isn't functioning at its peak. This means weight loss is hard to come by. And yet, it is still my goal to continue working on improving body composition. A big piece of this is giving myself enough sleep.

6. A variety of exercise on a daily basis is crucial to my health and well being. I got this. I keep it up. It's not a fight anymore. Thank God. This is why my weight gain over this winter has been a few pounds rather than a disaster. I kept up the workouts even when my eating wasn't optimal. 

7. Daily meditation is as crucial as exercise. I do not do it as consistently, and I'd like to make it part of my Wholewhateverthingy I decide to do. 

8. I am capable of feeding a fat tooth whilst starving the sugar dragon. I aim not to do this this time around, because, ultimately, it doesn't serve me at this point.

9. I accept myself as I am in this moment. Berating myself for slipping serves no one. I hit a rough patch and am getting back on the horse. This is part of the beauty of this program. It's always here for me when I need to return.

10. Drinking more water more consistently makes everything better. So, it goes on the list.

11. Sitting down to eat a civilized meal without distraction also goes on the list. Because the way I eat is as important as what I eat. No more standing over the sink or eating from the fridge.

12. The template is magic. Returning to it is a pleasure and results in wonderful things.

 

OK, I think that's enough for now. So looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight! And no alarm. Hoping I arise in time for barre at 9:30. A walk and some gentle yoga at home are also on the docket.

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Great list of "gleans"! 

 

9. I accept myself as I am in this moment. Berating myself for slipping serves no one. I hit a rough patch and am getting back on the horse. This is part of the beauty of this program. It's always here for me when I need to return.

 

I will work on this one!

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9. I accept myself as I am in this moment. Berating myself for slipping serves no one. I hit a rough patch and am getting back on the horse. This is part of the beauty of this program. It's always here for me when I need to return.

 

I am working on this one as well.  Accepting myself as I am, but still allowing myself to move towards change gently.  I love all your thoughts and I hope your Wxxwhatever goes well!  I hope you are enjoying being back in your own bed!

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I may be enjoying being back in my own bed a little bit TOO much, Sara. Been sleeping 12-13 hours a night!

 

But I saw FMD this am and there's a reason for it. My thyroid needs even more support. And so does my liver. With all the hormone fluctuations, it's working overtime. So, I'm looking forward to happier days. FMD promises this will mean less constipation, less need for mega-doses of magnesium, clearer skin. 

 

And the better days have already begun. Yesterday I started to feel like myself again. More in my body, more free, more like I wanted to dance for no reason. These are all good signs. 

 

I'm on Day 5 of total compliance, and I'm just going to keep going. I don't feel like I actually *need* a Whole30 at this point, but a WholeSomething is a good idea to help re-tread the grooves and remind my brain and body of how very good the good habits are. So, I'm tossing the whey protein to the wayside for the moment and sticking with real food of the variety I know serves me physically and psychologically. And I know in my gut that just saying no to sugar for the foreseeable future is the best possible thing. Yes, I will eat delicious locally-sourced and locally-made ice cream at some point this summer. But it will be truly special, not the norm.

 

My focus now is on improving my health and my mood and being a generally lovelier person to be around. I can be overly sharp and isolationist when I'm suffering, and I don't want to live that way anymore. I want to emerge brightly, like the sun, and allow my light to inspire the light in others. I feel that's my soul's work, honestly, and it's my job in this body this time around to support that to its fullest potential for the greater good of all. You know, no big thing.

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I'm jealous of all that sleep!  We are having a long (Wed-Mon) weekend, so I'm really looking forward to some luxurious sleeps.

 

I'm glad you are already feeling more like yourself, treat that thyroid right!

 

"I want to emerge brightly, like the sun, and allow my light to inspire the light in others."  Those around you will benefit from your emergence!  I know I appreciate having you around here more often.  :) 

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I'm so jealous of the sleep, too! 

 

I also think you are lovely to be around.  :wub: 

 

I have a necklace with a picture of a lighthouse on it to remind me of the quote from Anne Lamott:

“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”

Your comment about the light reminded me of that.

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After a week's hiatus, yesterday's barre and bootcamp classes made it a little tough to get out of bed at 5:30 for another bootcamp class, but I'm glad I pushed through. Now is the time for no excuses. Not to be a drill sergeant, but to be on high alert for sheer laziness. If I want real and continuing transformation, at this point success is all in the moment-to-moment choices.

 

So far today, laziness: 0; M: 2. I also made a proper hot breakfast of sautéed kale and eggs. Good stuff. I'm also going to try a couple recipes from The Performance Paleo Cookbook after procuring quite a Costco haul yesterday. Mocha-Rubbed Slow Cooker Pot Roast and Lemon Artichoke Chicken are the big proteins I'm after. Plenty of roast veggies, sweet potatoes, and maybe a creamy broccoli soup are also on the horizon. But after I turn in grades, attend a meeting, and get a facial. I'm determined to return to work refreshed and renewed.

 

Oh, another fun experiment I haven't yet mentioned: coffee kombucha. It gets mixed reviews online, but I thought it'd be fun to try. So, I have a small batch in first ferment and am planning a second ferment with star anise and cinnamon, maybe a clove or two. I'll keep you posted.

 

Also looking forward to yoga tonight with my teacher. I've decided to continue my training. I finish 200-hour the first week in April, and then 500-hour begins the end of the month. My dad asked me if yoga is taking over my life and I think it might be, but only in the best of ways.  :wub:

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My dad asked me if yoga is taking over my life and I think it might be, but only in the best of ways.  :wub:

 

:D

 

All is good, making great choices in the moment, that is definitely what it is all about.  That chicken sounds awesome.  And I continue to be impressed with your daily movement, impressed and inspired.

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Coffee Kombucha?? I've never heard of such a thing before. Please tell me more.

 

I discovered GTs Gingerade and Synergy in large bottles at my food co-op this week and bought some in an effort to drink less. With the 16oz bottles its so easy to drink the whole thing but I know I really only need about 8oz a day. If I can keep my kitchen clean this spring I might attempt to brew my own again this summer but my last one went all moldy. :(

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Coffee Kombucha?? I've never heard of such a thing before. Please tell me more.

I used this recipe, but halved it in case it turns out terrible. It's only been two days, so I haven't tasted it yet. I plan on bottling it sometime this week with a second ferment of cinnamon, vanilla bean, maybe star anise and cloves, too. 

 

 

I discovered GTs Gingerade and Synergy in large bottles at my food co-op this week and bought some in an effort to drink less. With the 16oz bottles its so easy to drink the whole thing but I know I really only need about 8oz a day. If I can keep my kitchen clean this spring I might attempt to brew my own again this summer but my last one went all moldy. :(

 

My portion control device is a champagne flute. :wub: Keeps me to 8 oz per serving. And lately I've been trying to get different fermented foods with each meal. So, kimchee with breakfast, cultured gingered carrots with lunch, and a glass of booch with/after dinner. 

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My portion control device is a champagne flute. :wub: Keeps me to 8 oz per serving. And lately I've been trying to get different fermented foods with each meal. So, kimchee with breakfast, cultured gingered carrots with lunch, and a glass of booch with/after dinner. 

 

The issue when it's in a 16 oz bottle it's just easier to grab it and drink it. The grand experiment will be if I drink this fast enough for it not to go completely flat. Let me know how the coffee kombucha turns out, it sounds a little weird tbh. ;)

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Wow. Love to read that you are now teaching yoga. I would love to take a class with you. 

 

Thanks again for reaching out. I need to come back to the fold. My new mantra: the template is a pleasure. It really is. All good things flow from the template. All hail the template. 

 

Seriously though, I am so wanting that template but so resistant to giving up my off template foods. I've wandered very far afield. I have been meditating a bit but not consistently, same with exercise. I was all set to start my whole today but something happened. Has been the story for at least ten dates in the last couple months. Someone please keep me accountable. 

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Wow. Love to read that you are now teaching yoga. I would love to take a class with you. 

 

Thanks again for reaching out. I need to come back to the fold. My new mantra: the template is a pleasure. It really is. All good things flow from the template. All hail the template. 

 

Seriously though, I am so wanting that template but so resistant to giving up my off template foods. I've wandered very far afield. I have been meditating a bit but not consistently, same with exercise. I was all set to start my whole today but something happened. Has been the story for at least ten dates in the last couple months. Someone please keep me accountable. 

Hey, a little bit is something. (I have to remind myself of this often to help keep the all-or-nothing dragon from sabotaging me altogether.)

 

Love your mantra. It's so true. Keep chanting it!

 

Being back on the forum, I find, really does help keep me accountable. And I'm remembering what a really wonderful community of like-minded folks we've created together. It is truly supportive.

 

And I have a little fantasy that some righteous benefactor bestows a weekend retreat for us somewhere beautiful--a Whole30 paradise where sparkling booch is on tap, we dine on template meals together over great conversation, take long walks (or runs, if you're Sara) in nature, and have a great time. I teach yoga and meditation, Bethany teaches body pump, Beets teaches us her ballet workout, MissMary teaches us some capoeira moves, NadiaB teaches us silks . . . and the rest of the time we read. Maybe we read the same thing so we can discuss it over the fabulous meals we didn't cook on the dishes we don't have to clean. Maybe if we all visualize it together, it will happen. ;)

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My kitchen is a disaster. Cleaning it is mission numero uno today. Grateful to have a fridge full of food. Not so grateful for all the pans and dishes I dirtied to create them.

 

Facial yesterday was great. Massage on tap today. Pampering is good.

 

Yoga last night was wonderful, though today my left hip is a little tweaked. I went for a walk this morning instead of barre because my body is sore. That, and I realized i need to show my gratitude for spring by getting outside when mere weeks ago I couldn't. Also, I realized that walking first thing in the morning when I was on my trip a.) kept me sane b.) made me remember I live in a body first thing every day and c.) actually resulted in weight loss despite the fact that I was on vacation and eating out much of the time. Two different trainers I've had have talked about how walking in a fasted state is one of the best ways to lose fat. Finally I believe it to the point of being motivated to do it. So, that's what's up this spring. More early morning walks. More walking in general. What if it's really that simple?

 

I'm recommitting to this quest(ion): What if it doesn't have to be so hard? :)

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