Binge eating and re-starting Whole30


5280sarah

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And @littleg I also used to do the small plate thing. But I think you actually always end up eating way more than with this big plate strategy. Sometimes I will seriously have like double the amount of food on my plate compared to my fiance, and it looks so big and overwhelming that my mind thinks about the food in a totally different way. Like "man this is a lot I wonder if I will finish it." and by the time I am done my brain thinks I have eaten so much that it doesn't question whether I could be hungry still. And honestly, I am not at the point where I often leave food on the plate, I usually finish it all every time, but recently, if I focus on eating slower, I do have those obvious fullness signals soon after, and the mindfulness of what I am really hungry for is getting better. It's nice to be able to condense all the thoughts and observations into one small time period where you are sitting, with all the food visible in front of you, and you can really think and focus on how much you have and then how you feel after. Then the next night, you might feel like you have an even better idea of how much you want to put on the plate. 

Sorry, I do a lot of ranting on here. I just find it very therapeutic to hash out my thoughts and put them into writing so that I too can really think about what I am doing and thinking. :P 

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2 hours ago, Dragonslayer said:

I am kinda sure of one thing though, I don't think its that the strategies aren't working, they just aren't working long enough, and my level of stress and anxiety lasts for so long and gets so intense that I can only use so many strategies so much time before I crack. It's like my brain just can't continue to work so hard to resist and it gets exhausted. But I am learning that instead of thinking about it obsessively and stressing myself out more, I need to try and just ignore the thoughts, tell myself "its not even an option so there is nothing to stress about." and stop giving myself so much anxiety by just not even considering the thoughts. It's super hard, but it works on some days, and I am hoping it gets more frequent. 

Do you remember the radishes/cookie experiment in the Habit book?  Will power is like a muscle - you run out eventually... after reading about those studies I think it makes sense that you were ok at TJ but cracked at WF.  Is WF tougher for you than TJ?  I'm only asking because it is for me... lots of samples and the ability to buy things in bulk.  At TJ I won't usually buy a box of cookies or something but at WF those bulk bins can be tough to walk by... Anyway, maybe next time do WF first and TJ second?

I was listening to a podcast once about letting go of stressful thoughts... she said she pictured the thought as a balloon and would visualize it just drifting up and away.  Similar thinking to BOB - just letting those thoughts go - not white knuckling them or fighting them (because that acknowledges them as being "rational" and real).  Maybe something to try.

Had dinner tonight on a regular size dinner plate.  Didn't go back for seconds.  And didn't eat any carrots :) Half a small TJ chocolate bar with tea as I type this.  Then I'm in for the night.  Maybe it will work again tomorrow!  Hope so!

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Such great insights and  ideas! I love the phone quotes and good to know we could also form a knitting or crochet circle :).  I I also think there's a lot to this over thinking thing.  Not tracking calories has made me feel a lot calmer than I ever thought because I am not constantly obsessing over how many I have left for the day and it doesn't force me to think about foods in terms of good and bad.......  it's just food and I need to think if it as health and fuel.  My fuel today was

Leftover mashed cauliflower and butternut squash with two poached eggs and avocado

Baked chicken breast with roasted parsnip, fennel, carrots and butternut squash plus homemade mayo

Spiced pork tenderloin with leftover roasted purple potatoes and green beans.  About four raw carrots while cooking,  Soon I will be completely orange.  It's perfect for the season.

I absolutely need to learn to eat slower too.  My plate is always empty before anyone else.  

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1 hour ago, hmg1993 said:

Such great insights and  ideas! I love the phone quotes and good to know we could also form a knitting or crochet circle :).  I I also think there's a lot to this over thinking thing.  Not tracking calories has made me feel a lot calmer than I ever thought because I am not constantly obsessing over how many I have left for the day and it doesn't force me to think about foods in terms of good and bad.......  it's just food and I need to think if it as health and fuel.  My fuel today was

Leftover mashed cauliflower and butternut squash with two poached eggs and avocado

Baked chicken breast with roasted parsnip, fennel, carrots and butternut squash plus homemade mayo

Spiced pork tenderloin with leftover roasted purple potatoes and green beans.  About four raw carrots while cooking,  Soon I will be completely orange.  It's perfect for the season.

I absolutely need to learn to eat slower too.  My plate is always empty before anyone else.  

I"m interested in the calm that you seem to be experiencing from practicing intuitive eating... I would bet money that soon you'll notice that you can hear your own thoughts... hard to explain but let me know if you notice it.... 

I'm a 'wolfer' of food... the most success I ever had when trying to eat slower (or just notice how fast I eat) is to put your fork down between every bite... it is VERY weird at first but it gets easier and I notice I eat more thoughtfully and less 'speed eating robot' style...

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@littleg I do remember that now that you say that. Makes a lot of sense (again.) And yes WF is harder than TJ for many of the same reasons. Also there seem to just be a lot of other snacky type foods at WF that are more compliant with whole30 or seem "healthier" and "more acceptable" to me in the moment as a choice. TJ has stuff like chocolate and pumpkin spice cookies etc, but those are foods I am pretty used to avoiding at this point (although not recently in the past month). But at WF, stuff like sweet potato chips or the simple mills cookies made of almond flour and "better" sugars are just more appealing to me when I am trying to rationalize the binge. The bulk bins are tough for me too. I try to just avoid that isle all together! Definitely like the idea of doing WF first next time. good idea. 

I like that balloon thing. I actually just tried to use it tonight and it kinda worked! Funny comparison... tonight, I didn't think I was that hungry at dinner because I ate a big 2nd lunch pretty late in the day. I made some chicken thighs and then tried out a recipe for paleo/whole30 onion rings I found on pinterest. No veggies because I wasn't in the mood. The meal was pretty greasy and heavy, so I decided to put them on small plates for both of us because I didn't want to eat too much. (and the big plate just wasnt necessary because it all fit on the small one). I thought about how this was backwards from what I always do, but I thought "I'll just try it and see how I do." Not only did I end up going back for seconds, but I felt way less satisfied with the meal (even though I am definitely full now), and for the past 45 minutes I've been a little anxious and wanting to snack or have something sweet. Luckily, there is literally nothing in my house that is appealing right now, and I am trying to be mindful, but it was interesting to see how just the smaller plate effected my mood and response. I think too though, the fact that I was eating "onion rings" had a lot to do with it too. It just felt like a non compliant food, even though it was, and although they were honestly not very good at all, I ended up eating way more of them than I actually should have. Anyways, I'm more calm now after writing this and I thought about that balloon thing a few minutes ago and it really helped me just think about something else  (like coming here to write). I'll be going back to my big plate tomorrow because I am sure after tonight that is what works better for me right now! Hope it continues to work for you too!! 

@hmg1993I am jealous of your meals today. Butternut cauli mash is one of my all time favorite foods! My meals were pretty boring today so not worth listing, and my rings were basically a failure, but oh well, it was worth a try! 

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@SugarcubeODI also eat sooo quickly. That fork thing sounds awful haha, but I am going to try it! And I know you said its hard to explain but if you could elaborate some way on this "hearing your thoughts" thing, I don't quite understand. I'm intrigued. 

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6 hours ago, Dragonslayer said:

Definitely, and @SugarcubeOD I don't think our strategies are actually that opposite. Yours is just more of the next level after mine. Like when we can master the concept of only going back for what we actually want, not just mindlessly continuing to eat and eat, then we can start doing the correct portions and learn to control our urges at that level. I do want to get to the point where I tell myself it's always ok to go back for more if I want, but just for now, this is helping with the impulsive behavior. 

I totally agree with this, at the end of the day the size of the plate or portion of food is only a small part. Because realistically it depends on your mindset. I even read somewhere to plan to leave a couple bites on your plate, even if it means taking extra at first. And eventually building up control to leave a little food left on your plate. The point is to really work up to being mindful, but as we all know this is a process!

And thanks for the advice @Dragonslayer, I think what you said about setting one small goal a day is perfect for right now because it's all I can really do. And like you said building myself up with small confidence boots is better than feeling crappy about not doing everything right. I had a decent day today, started it off good at least, I had the BST breakfast salad from the whole30 cookbook (one of my breakfast staples, its delish).

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@Dragonslayer  I didn't realize the sort-of-healthy stuff was a trigger.  There is A LOT of that at WF.  But it sounds like you've got a bunch of strategies for next time so I'm sure you'll breeze in and out with only the things you intend to eat in your cart :)  Crazy about the small plate thing!  You are going to prove all these weight loss experts wrong and show that one big plate is where its at!  Sorry the onion rings didn't turn out great.  I bet they were a lot of work too.  Bummer.  What is the cauli/butternut mash recipe?  Just roasted cauliflower and roasted butternut mashed or are there spices involved?  I do think that cauliflower and I don't work well together (which sucks because I love most dishes made with it) but maybe if I don't eat 12-16oz at a time it'll be ok!  Especially if it isn't preceded by 12-16 oz of carrots and a head of romaine lettuce... :/ 

@hmg1993 so glad to hear that not tracking has been a good feeling so far.  I was so afraid you were going to come back and say "I hate the way it is making me feel".  Happy dance!  I can't wait until the end of your 30 (100?) days.  I foresee lots of good things!

Fellow food shoveler here.  Big plate, fork to table between each bite today!  

I think I'm going to just start making @hmg1993's meals the day after she posts them!  I'll certainly eat better than I do now!

 

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Hahaha @littleg I’m cracking up at your post. First, just last night I said to myself, “instead of meal prepping for the week, I’m just gonna copy all of @hmg1993 meals! Sounds way easier” 2nd, for the mash, I don’t even follow a recipe, I just do one bag of froZen cauliflower steamed or boiled, then one tray of diced butternut squash roasted with sage oil and garlic, then let it cool a little, mix them both together, add salt and then I just usually put in the blender in small batches and add almond milk or chicken stock as needed each batch to cream it up a little. You could do coconut milk too. Never tried but I bet it’s da bomb! It’s seriously so delicious. My fiancé is obsessed and he is not a cauliflower or squash guy. And it probably is the amount that is bothering your stomach. It’s a lot of fiber! I usually do more squash in the ratio too. And I also thought I was sensitive to tomatoes but then I realized it’s just not normal to eat 3 of them in one sitting! Too much acid! I think we all will have weird digestive issues with the overeating of veggies. I definitely did in my last whole 30. You don’t want to know what the next morning is like after eating an entire huge spaghetti squash AND 2 sweet potatoes in one night! :wacko: ok I’m off to get tortured at ski conditioning class. Already thinking about my 2nd breakfast afterwards! :lol:

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Chiming in after a disastrous fall off the wagon on Oct 20, my day 12.... I got bronchitis and that knocked out all willpower. Then we had a very drunken weekend for my fiancee's birthday. Halloween party at work - just stuffed myself. Feeling all sorts of regrets. Sad, disappointed in myself. I'm at all conference from Nov 5 to 9th where I eat the food they give me, and most likely all the free drinks. Then... Thanksgiving and the holiday season are just looming out there.... not sure when a full 30 days will be available until January 1.  If I am not following very strict rules, I let myself go nuts. I think I want to just do 1 special thanksgiving meal and 1 special Christmas meal and be compliant the rest of the time, but that also sounds impossible. WAAAAh!

 

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5 minutes ago, jessie206 said:

Chiming in after a disastrous fall off the wagon on Oct 20, my day 12.... I got bronchitis and that knocked out all willpower. Then we had a very drunken weekend for my fiancee's birthday. Halloween party at work - just stuffed myself. Feeling all sorts of regrets. Sad, disappointed in myself. I'm at all conference from Nov 5 to 9th where I eat the food they give me, and most likely all the free drinks. Then... Thanksgiving and the holiday season are just looming out there.... not sure when a full 30 days will be available until January 1.  If I am not following very strict rules, I let myself go nuts. I think I want to just do 1 special thanksgiving meal and 1 special Christmas meal and be compliant the rest of the time, but that also sounds impossible. WAAAAh!

 

Just realized that I started my period so my hormones are making me feel extra bad for myself!

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@jessie206Hi Jessie! Don't sweat it, we have all fallen off the wagon recently too, and you can always come here for support and to vent your feelings. There are some great ideas from everyone on this thread if you look back the last few pages, maybe try one or two of them to help you stay mindful. I'm the same, if my rules arent laid out, I am overwhelmed and lose control. Maybe if you don't want to do an actual whole 30, you could just try and have weekly goals. Like maybe try to do 3 whole30 days one week, then 4 the next week, etc. At least if you "let yourself go nuts" on the other days, you have those healthy mindful days to help you return to a healthy mindset and get back on track. Some days in control and eating healthy nourishing foods are better than none! You can still make progress through times where you feel like you are struggling or backtracking. and maybe at thanksgiving and christmas, you can make a few whole30 compliant dishes to mix in with everything else. Then you can focus on trying to put a lot of those foods on your plate but also allow yourself to have whatever else looks good. I dunno, just some ideas. But of course, all easier said than done. But most importantly, don't get down on yourself. Try and write down all the things you do each day that you are proud of rather than dwelling on the stuff that makes you upset.  

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I have a new recipe!  Early Thanksgiving flavors... 

1 lb ground turkey
1 shallot, finely diced
1 stalk of celery, finely diced
1-2 tsp poultry seasoning
1 egg
chopped dried cranberries if you want

Pan fry the shallot and celery to soften.  Cool then mix everything together.  Pan fry patties (they were pretty sticky - I wouldn't use a grill).  Served them with homemade cranberry sauce (12 oz bag fresh cranberries, 8 oz frozen strawberries, 1/2 c OJ, grated ginger - all cooked down until thickened) and mayo. I honestly think these were the best turkey burgers I've ever had.  I usually don't love turkey burgers, no matter what they are pretty bland.  But the poultry seasoning in these was really good.

So hubs is upstairs showering.  I'm finishing off my 1/2 TJ chocolate bar and the second he was upstairs my instinct to grab some extra goodies (another piece of chocolate or some coconut butter) totally flared up.  But I'm going to finish my tea and go upstairs instead.  Despite my irrational brain saying... oh, its ok, you've been good all day... just one little bit more.

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3 hours ago, jessie206 said:

Chiming in after a disastrous fall off the wagon on Oct 20, my day 12.... I got bronchitis and that knocked out all willpower. Then we had a very drunken weekend for my fiancee's birthday. Halloween party at work - just stuffed myself. Feeling all sorts of regrets. Sad, disappointed in myself. I'm at all conference from Nov 5 to 9th where I eat the food they give me, and most likely all the free drinks. Then... Thanksgiving and the holiday season are just looming out there.... not sure when a full 30 days will be available until January 1.  If I am not following very strict rules, I let myself go nuts. I think I want to just do 1 special thanksgiving meal and 1 special Christmas meal and be compliant the rest of the time, but that also sounds impossible. WAAAAh!

Hi @jessie206, I feel your struggle. I also fell off the wagon hard this last week, and it feels impossible to get it back together. I also struggle with either following strict rules or eating whatever the heck I want. I really want to try and find a middle ground and let go of this dieting mindset but it's soooo hard! The biggest thing I've been focusing on when I am eating off track foods, is to not eat them so quickly that I don't taste or enjoy them. If I'm going to be eating these more indulgent foods I don't usually eat, I might as well eat slowly and actually taste them! I am also really trying not to feel guilty or shameful afterwards. I want to let go of this bingeing mindset and try to teach myself that is doesn't have to be all or nothing. 

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@littleg Nice work! Don’t give in. You got it! I do the same thing and it’s hard to break that habit. I am having some definite cravings tonight. We both didn’t feel like cooking so we just decided to munch on leftovers. I don’t do well when I don’t put all the food on the plate at one time. I should have just made a leftover meal, but instead I’ve just been eating something small  things then going back for more and more. Then the cravings started hitting for sweet stuff. I stopped myself just now and told myself “just breathe and sit down and focus on how my stomach feels for a minute. It’s all good. I haven’t binged, and the important thing is that I’m not going into an all or nothing mindset.” The tough part is it’s not even 6:00 yet here! So I have hours of trying not to overthink my cravings and just let myself relax and let them float away on the balloon. Good thing Top Chef Juniors is on! Best distraction. So my mini munch out is listed below with my other meals. I feel like I ate way too much today but I’m honestly not even sure now looking at my Log now below. (Especially with how much I burned working out- I think I needed a refuel) Maybe sometimes when I think I’ve overdone it, looking at the actual log can help me get a better and more realistic idea and that In itself can help calm my anxiety. Anyways, good day overall. And now that I’ve spent a few minutes writing this, the cravings are gone! 

Pre workout- 2 HB eggs with TJ everything but the bagel seasoning and 3 of my failed onion rings diced up and put on a small plate of greens. (They were better that way!) 

post workout- zoodles with kale, mushrooms, and ground chicken sautéed with avo oil and lots of spices, and then half a russet potato sliced into rounds and broiled, topped with salt, nutritional yeast, and half a large avocado. 

Midday lunch- roasted parsnip fries (I ate the whole large parsnip!) and a salad with cucumber, pomegranate seeds, other half of the avocado and balsamic vinaigrette. 

A few hours later- green tea, a few squares of 100% cacao and a handful of coconut chips. 

5pm mini munch out- 8 little salami slices, a whole sweet potato (medium size) pre baked and heated with salt, cinnamon, shredded coconut and cacao nibs, 2 HB eggs with EBTB seasoning, and a small handful of coconut chips. 

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@jessie206  Don't beat yourself up for falling off wagon.  Instead decide there is no wagon only your life. what makes you happy and your health.  I know I am tired of listening to the mean girl in my head telling me i am a failure.  I am also learning to stop giving myself absolutes like I will never have X, Y or Z.  Instead I am focused on being aware of my triggers like sugar and avoiding being sucked in.

 

@Dragonslayer and @littleg  Nicely done today.  The sweet potato with coconut is on my menu soon.  Yum.  Here are my meals

Leftover green beans with two eggs and half an avocado

Baked chicken with roasted veggies and mayo

Bratwurst (lovingly grilled by my husband!) with sauerkraut.  

Apple and couple of slices of turkey

A funny thing happened today.  I have a super stressful job and things were really intense and hectic.  Sure enough the pavlovian instinct kicked in ... i need a snack.  But instead of lunging for sugar or salt, I walked to the farmers market and bought an apple.  Not my usual behavior but notable because i also wasn't doing mental math around how many calories left and how i want to spend my allowance.  Very liberating and I put that down to your sage counsel!  Thank you!!

 

Happy Halloween!!

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1 hour ago, littleg said:

I have a new recipe!  Early Thanksgiving flavors... 

1 lb ground turkey
1 shallot, finely diced
1 stalk of celery, finely diced
1-2 tsp poultry seasoning
1 egg
chopped dried cranberries if you want

Pan fry the shallot and celery to soften.  Cool then mix everything together.  Pan fry patties (they were pretty sticky - I wouldn't use a grill).  Served them with homemade cranberry sauce (12 oz bag fresh cranberries, 8 oz frozen strawberries, 1/2 c OJ, grated ginger - all cooked down until thickened) and mayo. I honestly think these were the best turkey burgers I've ever had.  I usually don't love turkey burgers, no matter what they are pretty bland.  But the poultry seasoning in these was really good.

So hubs is upstairs showering.  I'm finishing off my 1/2 TJ chocolate bar and the second he was upstairs my instinct to grab some extra goodies (another piece of chocolate or some coconut butter) totally flared up.  But I'm going to finish my tea and go upstairs instead.  Despite my irrational brain saying... oh, its ok, you've been good all day... just one little bit more.

Yum thank you!  Sounds so good

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@Dragonslayer I bet your munchies were related to lots of energy expenditure.  Didn't you have some ski thing today?  Pre baby when hubs and I would do our 12-20 mile peak bagging hikes I was a bottomless pit.  I'd eat a half pound burger, a giant potato, bag of broccoli... and 10 minutes later feel like I didn't eat!  Also, Bigelow and TJ both make a chocolate mint tea (TJ doesn't have it yet this season, I hope it comes back to stores this year - maybe today now that the big pumpkin holiday is over :) )... I am the lover of all things dessert.  Before eating paleo I literally ate candy bars three meals a day.  Chocolate every night (the full multi serving bar).  Anyway, if someone ever told me that there would be some tea that was satisfying I would have laughed.  But this tea is (for me).  Next time you are out see if you can find some!

@hmg1993 Way to go on the new way to deal with stress!  And still not logging calories!  Closing in on a week right?  You should check out that Habit book DS mentioned - it is really interesting.  I just finished it and am going to re-read it with a more focused eye for the steps to breaking habits.  But inserting a new action for an old trigger to get the same (old) reward is one option.  Stress --> eat --> feel relieved vs Stress --> walk --> feel relieved.  The science shows that if you do it enough that eventually the usual response (eat vs go for a walk) will shift towards the new behavior and when you feel stressed you'll think "ugh, I need to take a walk RIGHT NOW!" vs "eat all the crap".  

Yesterday's food:

3 eggs, lox, peppers, onions, mayo

spinach, onions, chicken breast with hot sauce, 2 HB eggs, mayo

salad with creamy dijon dressing, turkey burger, cranberry sauce, mayo, roasted butternut squash (almost the whole 20 oz tub from TJ, hubs had some), roasted broccoli, tea with 1/2 chocolate bar

One plate again.  No temptation to go back.  I did literally fill the whole plate with butternut squash and ate it all but it feels different.  When I finished I was a little disappointed because it was tasty but my feet weren't marching back to the stove for seconds without me even realizing it!  Crazy how one little change can make such a difference!

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@littleg that tea sounds incredible! Definitely will search for it on my next city trip. Does it have actual chocolate or sugar in it? I don’t understand how a tea could be so amazing, but I believe you haha! 

Im glad the plate thing is working for you too! It’s making a huge difference for me. I’m trying to do it for every meal to get used to snacking less and just eating 3-4 meals per day. My appetite is definitely due to the increased activity. I’m doing ski conditioning now and working out more to get in shape for the season starting in 2 weeks. I need to keep that in mind when I’m eating and not stress about the amount of food since it’s all nutrient dense and healthy. I know I have a fast metabolism and Instead of being “upset” or denying the fact that I’m hungry when I think I shouldn’t be, I need to just accept it and keep myself fueled so I don’t go into binge mode. I’m also only working a few days in the next 2 weeks (it’s my off season right now) so I have a lot of time at home alone. Normally I would stress about this, but the past few days I’ve embraced the down time, relaxed, done some good reading and writing, and plan to get some good food prepping in the next few days. 

Today is day 5 for me. And days 5-10 are ALWAYS my hard days. I feel fine this morning but who knows how it will change. I’m definitely a little anxious for the next few days ahead, But ive got strategies to help and I’m going to try and switch up my days so I’m not doing the same things that would possibly trigger a craving. (New routines like from the habit book). 

Tonight we are having bacon bleu burgers for the World Series  game (blue for the dodgers!) I won’t be having the cheese but bacon burgers and fries are my all time favorite so I’m already excited for it to be dinner time! 

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From the Bigelow website:

Peppermint, Chicory, Rose Hips, Low-fat Alkalized Cocoa Powder, Licorice Root, Natural Chocolate Flavors with Other Natural Flavors (Soy Lecithin)

https://www.bigelowtea.com/Shop-Teas/By-Type/Herbal/Peppermint-Bark-Herbal-Tea#.WfoH8kyZNPM

Good luck these next few days :) And let me know if you find any good books or recipes during your down time!  

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Real good day today. My mind was much calmer than anticipated and I really tried to focus on my positivity and body awareness. I think it’s a huge part of reducing stress and anxiety which will in turn reduce cravings. 

Made a delicious lunch. Roasted acorn squash then stuffed it with creamed spinach with roasted garlic, one tbsp of mayo and 2 tbsp coconut cream, sautéed mushrooms and chorizo sausage. Definitely a keeper! 

Tonight we had bacon burgers with a mixture of regular and purple potato fries. Tried to use roasted eggplant as a “bun” but it had an awful bitter almost chemical taste. I didn’t really notice until the second piece so I hope we don’t get sick! It’s weird bc it’s organic and wasn’t even close to being over ripe. Ever happened to anyone? Anyways, the meal was amazing otherwise. It was hard to have just one plate with this meal, I almost went back for seconds but I stayed strong and just said wait it out and see if you are still hungry. Definitely a good choice now that I’m relaxing on the couch and the food is settling. 

Hope everyone else had a good day! @hmg1993 I’m even more aware of my subconscious counting now bc I think of how awesome you are doing and how much it really does help to not count! Hope you keep it up! 

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