Just No Motivation

[creativenikki]

My husband and I did a whole 30 last January and we both liked it. He wants to do it again. I have been feeling like crap since the birth of our daughter 3 months ago. I had an abscess that required surgery and was in extreme pain for awhile. That actually had me hospitalized longer than I was when I had our daughter.

Anyway, I think I'm dealing with post partum depression to at least some degree and I just have no motivation right now. Logically I know eating better will help my mood, but right now I just want to get some fried chicken and drink wine.

Anyone else struggling with motivation? I don't even know what kind of advice I'm looking for. I just don't have the resolved to do this right now the way I did last year.

[Brewer5]

I have a guess:  That you are eating and drinking things right now that are totally impacting your mood & your complete outlook on life.  Been there!  

 

Try committing to ONE day -- one FULL day of Whole 30.  And see how you feel about it when you wake up the next morning.  

[ShannonM816]

I think feeling this way is pretty normal for a lot of people, even without adding post partum depression to the mix. There's even an article addressing how a second whole30 can be harder than the first: http://whole30.com/2015/02/second-whole30/

For now, don't beat yourself up about not being motivated to jump right into a whole30. Take everything one meal at a time, don't even worry about committing to 30 days if that's too much right now. Every time you choose to have a whole30 meal, you're making an improvement, and the more you manage to do that, the better you'll start to feel, and the more likely you'll be to make healthy choices at the next meal.

[missmunchie]

I'm struggling with postpartum depression too, and found that if I consider the Whole30 as part of my depression treatment rather than just a challenge or reset it takes on a different purpose for me. Even then it took me a long time to get to the point where I really wanted to commit. Be kind to yourself, and only take on what you think you can manage, even if it's just a meal at a time.

 

On the plus side, if you simply support your husband's Whole30 you'l probably by proxy end up doing a Whole30 as well! That's what always happens with my husband since he eats everything I cook

 

Take care, and best of luck to you and your family!

[creativenikki]

I have a guess: That you are eating and drinking things right now that are totally impacting your mood & your complete outlook on life. Been there!

Try committing to ONE day -- one FULL day of Whole 30. And see how you feel about it when you wake up the next morning.

You are spot on. I've really slipped since our daughter was born. I know gluten (or something else in wheat) contributes to depression for me. I used to have bad digestion issues with it too, but somehow those are gone lately. Anyway, I've had a lot of wheat lately and I know that it is making my mood worse. I'm also tired all the time and having trouble sleeping. Blah. I know I need to change my diet, but it just seems like so much work when I'm already so tired.

[praxisproject]

If a full W30 day seems like too much, try getting rid of the grains first, they are a trigger for some people for depression, especially gluten with it's annoying brain fog.

[creativenikki]

I think feeling this way is pretty normal for a lot of people, even without adding post partum depression to the mix. There's even an article addressing how a second whole30 can be harder than the first: http://whole30.com/2015/02/second-whole30/

For now, don't beat yourself up about not being motivated to jump right into a whole30. Take everything one meal at a time, don't even worry about committing to 30 days if that's too much right now. Every time you choose to have a whole30 meal, you're making an improvement, and the more you manage to do that, the better you'll start to feel, and the more likely you'll be to make healthy choices at the next meal.

That article describes how I'm feeling, definitely. I am going to try anyway, but I have a big feeling of "what's the point?" right now. I guess over meal at a time is all I can do. I'm worried I can't handle whole 30 and a baby. Grocery shopping is miserable with a baby who hates the car. Life in general is crappy... I'm not used to being home and alone so much. My daughter hates the car and note it is too cold and icy to walk anywhere the way I could when she was first born.

Oh well. At least we prepared a frittata for breakfast this week. That is something, I guess.

[creativenikki]

I'm struggling with postpartum depression too, and found that if I consider the Whole30 as part of my depression treatment rather than just a challenge or reset it takes on a different purpose for me. Even then it took me a long time to get to the point where I really wanted to commit. Be kind to yourself, and only take on what you think you can manage, even if it's just a meal at a time.

On the plus side, if you simply support your husband's Whole30 you'l probably by proxy end up doing a Whole30 as well! That's what always happens with my husband since he eats everything I cook

Take care, and best of luck to you and your family!

Yeah, this depression stinks. I hate feeling this way. I'm going to bring it up with my midwife on Wednesday but I'm worried that they are just going to push antidepressants. I've been there, done that, and I have no desire to go down that road again.

Are you doing anything to treat your depression besides whole 30? I don't even know what I can try.

[Brewer5]

Nikki, I agree that JUST removing gluten would be HUGE. Really. See my signature ... That guy knows his stuff and he is very down on gluten, for *everyone*.

My kids are all older, but I can tell you two things: As the "mom" of a new puppy, I feel the impact of sleep deprivation in a very big way sometimes. Today he woke up WAY earlier than usual, and it has me completely thrown off again. And also: This time when they are young goes by SO fast... I know it seems hard when you are living it, but really -- the key to joy for me has been letting some of my ideals go. Some just for awhile, and some forever.

You probably don't need to add the stress of a strict Whole 30 right now -- but you do need to acknowledge that every small, better choice you can make right now WILL add up to a happier, better-feeling you. Do what you can, but ditch the grains. Even a burger from Burger King can be ordered with no bun.

[praxisproject]

Are you in a mothers group or other social group?

Maybe you could do some joint shopping trips togther?

 

If not, see if anywhere nearby can deliver you some groceries or healthy meals?

 

Hang in there

[littleg]

I posted a very similar post a few months ago after miscarrying.  I was basically eating Reddi Whip by the can  With chocolate thrown in for good measure.  I got some good advice in that post.  

 

Like you I had done a W30 before.  I knew it worked.  I knew it was better for me.  I.just.couldn't.do.it.

 

So W30 went out the window.  Too restrictive, not good.  But... eating REAL food - that was a little more doable.  I didn't have a newborn around so it was easier for me - I could shop and cook and theoretically sleep.  Do you have family that can help?  If someone would stay with the baby you could walk again - that would probably do you a lot of good for its own reasons.  

 

What got me back on track was the following:

 

Goal 1 for each day: eat breakfast.  Goal 1a: eat real food for breakfast.  Goal 1a*: eat high protein, high fat breakfast with some veggies.

 

When I could meet goal 1a* my days went better.  

 

And that is all I did.  1 meal at a time.  Lots of days were W30 breakfasts, paleo lunches and Reddi Whip for dinner... but eventually they morphed into full days of eating well and eventually that morphed into days strung together of eating well.  And about 3 months after miscarrying I finished a W30

 

And one other random thing - have your Vit D levels been checked (I'm wondering since you say you are inside a lot)?  If that is low it might be a cause of your mood and that is pretty easy to fix with a good supplement!

[ladyshanny]

Yeah, this depression stinks. I hate feeling this way. I'm going to bring it up with my midwife on Wednesday but I'm worried that they are just going to push antidepressants. I've been there, done that, and I have no desire to go down that road again.

 

While there are lots of things that you can do "naturally" to help with depression (exercise, fresh air, companionship, healthy whole foods, reducing sugar, grains and alcohol), sometimes you need to bring on the big guns to help right a hormonal imbalance.  I know you said you've been down that road before and it doesn't sound like you enjoyed it (ha, who enjoys that!) but don't discount that you might not be able to fix it yourself.  It's also not forever, there are lots of new moms who need that helping hand in the beginning via a prescription so that they can gain perspective, energy and motivation to finish the job (as it were) with the holistic things mentioned above.

 

Getting a prescription isn't a mark of failure or doom and it's not forever.  If you can't fix it yourself, allow yourself to seek that assistance.

[MeadowLily]

Lady Shanny is spot on. There are some things that healthy food cannot fix.  If it was so, depression and other conditions would cease to exist.  They do exist even with the best foods money can buy.  Medical treatment helps. 

[creativenikki]

While there are lots of things that you can do "naturally" to help with depression (exercise, fresh air, companionship, healthy whole foods, reducing sugar, grains and alcohol), sometimes you need to bring on the big guns to help right a hormonal imbalance.  I know you said you've been down that road before and it doesn't sound like you enjoyed it (ha, who enjoys that!) but don't discount that you might not be able to fix it yourself.  It's also not forever, there are lots of new moms who need that helping hand in the beginning via a prescription so that they can gain perspective, energy and motivation to finish the job (as it were) with the holistic things mentioned above.

 

Getting a prescription isn't a mark of failure or doom and it's not forever.  If you can't fix it yourself, allow yourself to seek that assistance.

 

 

Lady Shanny is spot on. There are some things that healthy food cannot fix.  If it was so, depression and other conditions would cease to exist.  They do exist even with the best foods money can buy.  Medical treatment helps. 

 

Yeah, I get that maybe sometimes medication is necessary.  The thing is, when I took it in the past, I ended up getting a lot more migraines and I gained weight.  Then, getting off those things... man, it was ugly.  I had tons of suicidal thoughts along with this awful zapping feeling for quite a while.  That's why I don't want to do that again.  It just was a bad experience all around.  It's not that I think of medications as failure anything like that.  It's a shame that I seem to get to choose between chronic migraines and feeling better mentally.  I dealt with migraines all through my pregnancy and those are just not worth it.  My daughter will probably be an only child for that reason alone.  

[creativenikki]

I posted a very similar post a few months ago after miscarrying.  I was basically eating Reddi Whip by the can  With chocolate thrown in for good measure.  I got some good advice in that post.  

 

Like you I had done a W30 before.  I knew it worked.  I knew it was better for me.  I.just.couldn't.do.it.

 

So W30 went out the window.  Too restrictive, not good.  But... eating REAL food - that was a little more doable.  I didn't have a newborn around so it was easier for me - I could shop and cook and theoretically sleep.  Do you have family that can help?  If someone would stay with the baby you could walk again - that would probably do you a lot of good for its own reasons.  

 

What got me back on track was the following:

 

Goal 1 for each day: eat breakfast.  Goal 1a: eat real food for breakfast.  Goal 1a*: eat high protein, high fat breakfast with some veggies.

 

When I could meet goal 1a* my days went better.  

 

And that is all I did.  1 meal at a time.  Lots of days were W30 breakfasts, paleo lunches and Reddi Whip for dinner... but eventually they morphed into full days of eating well and eventually that morphed into days strung together of eating well.  And about 3 months after miscarrying I finished a W30

 

And one other random thing - have your Vit D levels been checked (I'm wondering since you say you are inside a lot)?  If that is low it might be a cause of your mood and that is pretty easy to fix with a good supplement!

 

I started reading your thread yesterday... I'm going to finish reading it now if I can.  

 

I have been supplementing vitamin D for years now, so I don't think I'm deficient in that.  I think it's just the crappy food combined with crappy sleep that are my biggest problems.  I just don't know if I can commit to a full Whole 30 right now.  I am definitely cutting out alcohol, grains and sugar, but I may allow some dairy (cream in coffee, pretty much), just because I know I don't have issues with dairy and that might make me sane.  I don't know.  I did have a Whole 30 breakfast today and managed to fit in 20 minutes on the elliptical.  That's something.  Too bad I have no appetite for lunch at all right now.  

[ladyshanny]

Yeah, I get that maybe sometimes medication is necessary.  The thing is, when I took it in the past, I ended up getting a lot more migraines and I gained weight.  Then, getting off those things... man, it was ugly.  I had tons of suicidal thoughts along with this awful zapping feeling for quite a while.  That's why I don't want to do that again.  It just was a bad experience all around.  It's not that I think of medications as failure anything like that.  It's a shame that I seem to get to choose between chronic migraines and feeling better mentally.  I dealt with migraines all through my pregnancy and those are just not worth it.  My daughter will probably be an only child for that reason alone.  

Oh gosh, that sounds awful. I came off antidepressants wtihout scaling down once and the zapping is BRUTAL!

 

Check with your OB/midwife, tell them what happened last time, there could be something a little gentler. And depending on how long ago that was, pharmaceutical research changes, there could be something completely different that can help.  

 

I also used to be a migraine sufferer for years and I am pretty sure that I would NOT go back to anything that might cause that unless I knew that I had the world's supply of migraine meds and a schedule that allowed me to sleep through 3 days of migraines once a month.  They are so disruptive!

[creativenikki]

Oh gosh, that sounds awful. I came off antidepressants wtihout scaling down once and the zapping is BRUTAL!

 

Check with your OB/midwife, tell them what happened last time, there could be something a little gentler. And depending on how long ago that was, pharmaceutical research changes, there could be something completely different that can help.  

 

I also used to be a migraine sufferer for years and I am pretty sure that I would NOT go back to anything that might cause that unless I knew that I had the world's supply of migraine meds and a schedule that allowed me to sleep through 3 days of migraines once a month.  They are so disruptive!

 

Yeah, migraines can really ruin your life.  I was getting like 4 a week for the last 3 months of my pregnancy.  It was so awful.  I still get them now, but not nearly as often as I was while pregnant, thank god.  I also don't know what medicines you can take while breastfeeding... probably nothing that works, just like during pregnancy!  I just suffered through them with nothing while I was pregnant.  

[MeadowLily]

I know it's hard to find good doctors who have the time to spend with patients and really care.  They're out there.   Depression, chemical imbalances..other conditions like ADHD, ODD,  Alzheimer's,  Autism, Asperger's can all be helped with real whole foods.  A complete cure has not been found for them yet. 

 

Wish you well in your search for the right combinations for you.

[creativenikki]

Are you in a mothers group or other social group?

Maybe you could do some joint shopping trips togther?

 

If not, see if anywhere nearby can deliver you some groceries or healthy meals?

 

Hang in there

 

I'm not in any groups right now.  I looked for some on Meetup, but they were pretty much all for stay at home moms.  I'm going back to work in a month.  I felt like I'd join and make friends, then never see them again in a month.  My husband is extremely helpful with the baby though, he will do anything to make things easier on me, so at least that's a plus.  I get out of the house everyday unless the weather is so bad I don't want to deal with it.  It's just that an hour trip to the mall isn't the same as working in terms of adult interaction.  I love being home with our daughter, but I hate it at the same time, you know?  

[Brewer5]

Dr. Perlmutter talks about all of this at length in Grain Brain. Headaches, anxiety, depression -- all of it. He explains the importance of fat & cholesterol for our brain health.

The reality is that you CAN do *a lot* with diet. You just need to know what to do. His book is not just about grains... Not by a long shot. Anything that is messing with your blood sugar is also messing with your moods.

I hope you can read it or listen to the audiobook someday. Lots of great stuff there. Life-changing stuff.

[creativenikki]

Dr. Perlmutter talks about all of this at length in Grain Brain. Headaches, anxiety, depression -- all of it. He explains the importance of fat & cholesterol for our brain health.

The reality is that you CAN do *a lot* with diet. You just need to know what to do. His book is not just about grains... Not by a long shot. Anything that is messing with your blood sugar is also messing with your moods.

I hope you can read it or listen to the audiobook someday. Lots of great stuff there. Life-changing stuff.

 

I haven't read Grain Brain yet, but it is on my list.  I've read Wheat Belly though, and they touch on a lot of the same topics.  I don't think anything in Grain Brain will really surprise me.  Grains are toxic for me.  I know it.  Even if I can't do a full Whole 30, grains are out for me and I am going to be better about staying away from gluten because it makes me feel bad mentally.  I figured that out years ago and I was really good about avoiding it until more recently.  Lately everything I eat has to be edible with just one hand.  Sandwiches became way too convenient and I relied on them too much.  But, not anymore.  I just can't be feeling this bad mentally, it's not good for me or anyone around me.  

 

Now I need to see if our library has Grain Brain... Reading things like that help me stay on track.

[Brewer5]

I really hope you can find it at your library. Even if you only manage a few pages a day, I think it would be a huge help.

[creativenikki]

I really hope you can find it at your library. Even if you only manage a few pages a day, I think it would be a huge help.

 

 

I just put it on hold.  

[praxisproject]

I'm not in any groups right now.  I looked for some on Meetup, but they were pretty much all for stay at home moms.  I'm going back to work in a month.  I felt like I'd join and make friends, then never see them again in a month.

 

You could always ask in the meetup group if there are any working moms? Now might be a good time to meet some new people before you're back at work as there are probably some other moms also not yet back at work. If there aren't any, would you be able to see them on weekends?

[SugarcubeOD]

  I did have a Whole 30 breakfast today and managed to fit in 20 minutes on the elliptical.  That's something.  

Can we take a moment to just recognize that this in itself is amazing and good progress!  It's not just 'something'.  I also suffer from depression and am on meds for it... and even with the added boost of meds, sometimes a day is darn hard and eating a healthy breakfast AND some exercise is huge!  Don't diminish your small victories!