Jen's Post W30 Log


pjena

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Jen, big big hugs. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I can see how all of those emotions could lead to off road eating. I'm jut sorry your tummy hurt in the process. I hope tomorrow is brighter and you wake feeling better.

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Thanks, Calee. 

 

I can't blame anything for the off roading but my own willingness to offroad.  I felt ok with the off roading Friday night, so I let my guard down and had a cookie that led to 5 cookies that led to chips and salsa and guac which led to a tummy ache.  It's the same lesson I have to learn over and over.  If I have one, I will not be able to stop myself from having another.  It's easier to not have that one.  Maybe one day it will sink in. 

 

I took it easy yesterday and made a point of only eating compliant foods and not eating too much.  Tummy seems to be better now.  I'm aiming for 3 clean days and will do my best to keep off roading to a minimum over the holiday weekend.  For sure, chips and cookies are out. 

 

Crazy that it's July.  I've been at this W30 thing for 4 months now.  I have not lost any more weight.  That is frustrating.  But, most of the time, I do feel more in control when I eat this way, so I guess I'll keep on going for now.  I may do another W30 with the big group in August.  Still thinking on that.

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On the one hand you want to be kind to yourself, but when it leads to choices that leave you feeling unwell, I guess the kind thing is to keep eating well, huh?  Sometimes the structure saves us.  Let's start that group.  We can cheer each other on.

 

Hope you and your family are holding up ok Jen.

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Yep - poor choices are not being kind to myself.  Gotta remember that! 

 

PP - thanks.  The family is doing ok.  My dad is out in Salt Lake for the funeral and was asked to read.  That will be so hard for him.  I wish we could have gone, but it's too hard (and spendy) to get a flight out there now during one of the busiest travel weeks of the year and figure out what to do with the kids on short notice.  My brother was able to go, which is nice.  It sounds like most of the aunts and uncles went and a few cousins who don't have kids were able to go, but most of us with kids stayed home.  It's hard not to be with the family during tough times.  But, I'm also thankful to stay home with my kids and give them extra hugs.  Even the devil horned booch assistant.  ;)

 

Good food day yesterday.  Ate mostly compliant.  Did yoga.  Only yelled at my kids a little bit.  :P  I've also decided that the morning sneezies has nothing to do with the yogurt/oats last week.  It has everything to do with my husband opening the windows at night.  My kids and I are waking up all congested every morning.  Hate that!

 

I've been thinking about what Clean July means to me.  I'm not doing a W30, so it doesn't mean perfect, but I need to set some parameters and start doing it or the month will slip by while I debate it in my head. So, Clean July for me is about following the template.

 

3 meals, no snacks

No picking at food pre-breakfast - that means no swiping sunbutter while making son's lunch.  if I want sunbutter, I can add a dollup to my breakfast plate.

Mini meal ok if actually hungry - mini meal is not fruit and/or nutbutter!  mini meal is protein/fat/veg

No desserts (including fruit after dinner - fruit is ok with a meal) except my son's birthday/party and the 4th of July if I decide it's worth it

Only planned, thought out off-roading - example, I may have a drink on the 4th.  I will not, however, graze all day or dive into the chips or desserts. 

Basically, I can have anything I want.  It just has to be part of my meals. 

 

Starts now!

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Love those guidelines. I know that for me in the driving situation yesterday I really underestimated the degree to which my subconscious wants to self-medicate with food. It's hard not to go on auto-pilot when something stressful comes up. Consciously or not.

I am sorry about your cousin. A few weeks ago we heard that a friend's brother's nephew (3) was found dead in their pool. It didn't matter that I never met that child or his parents. It still scared the crap out of me, scared me to my bones. I couldn't imagine of he *had* been part of my family. Life is fragile.

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Clean day yesterday (after the am sunbutter swiping).  Three meals, no snacks, no fruit after dinner, no pm sunbutter swiping.  Took a long walk.  All good!

Monday night, I was munching on watermelon after dinner and stopped, telling myself that is not Clean July. 

Tuesday morning, I was licking the sunbutter knife and stopped, telling myself that is not Clean July.

Tuesday I set my Clean July guidelines so now I can stop myself before doing those things.  Guidelines are good.

 

I started out today with a Jillian dvd, so I'm off to a good start.  I have no reason to off road today.  Will stick to the template.  I'm still thinking about tomorrow.  For sure, I will stick to W30 for breakfast and lunch and not snack at all.  I'm not sure yet if I will allow myself to off road at the neighbor party or not.  I do think I'd like a glass of wine.  I will not have any chips.  I'm not sure about the rest.  I plan to be very mindful about it, though.  If there is something I really want that is worth it, I will have a small amount and savor it and not go back for more.  If I can do that, I will consider it a success.  Having some accountability to report back on my log and the Clean July log will help me stick to my goals.  No matter how often I tell myself I'm the only one suffereing when I cheat myself, for some reason it's easier to "lie" to myself and say it's ok.  It's harder to put it out in "public" here.  Weird how that works.

 

Oh, my other "goal" for the month is to stick to my W30 breakfast of eggs, greens and sw pot.  I really think that helps me stay regular.  The oats/yogurt did not help in that regard.

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I did well yesterday.  I already posted about it in the Clean July thread, but I'll put it here, too.  I went to three parties.  I didn't eat anything at the first.  I had dinner and one drink at the 2nd.  I had Paleo Mom monkey bars at the 3rd.  I consider that a clean day.  I'm tired because we were all up too late, but other than that, I feel good this morning.  No alcohol or sugar hangover as in past years.  When I went to bed last night, my tummy felt a little wonky.  I'm guessing it was the monkey bars, which are made with almond butter and almond flour.  The drink I had was a mai tai, which I think I need to say no to in the future.  It's way too sweet.  That was 6 hours before I went to bed, though, so I don't think that was the cause of the wonky tummy.  Too many nuts in the form of monkey bars is my guess.  Still, I'm very pleased that my off-road dessert was made up of compliant foods and included no added sugar! 

 

Today, I am having lunch with my grandma and then probably dinner out with my husband, so it will be all restaurant food.  However, I will stick to three meals, no snacks and will make good choices when out.  I'm trying to think of a good restaurant that is within biking distance.  We don't have a lot of good options near me, though.  It's supposed to be another beautiful day. 

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So, Clean July isn't going so well.  It's not horrible, but it's not clean and won't help me lose that last 5 lbs and the fluff.  I need to salvage it.  I decided to give myself a grade each day and aim for an A. That way, I won't be tempted to throw out the whole concept because of a few not so clean days.  So far, I have an A going (barely) at 91%.

 

M - A - had fruit after dinner, but hadn't defined Clean July yet

T - A - swiped sunbutter while making lunches, but hadn't defined Clean July yet

W - A - clean day

Th - A - had a drink and some paleo desserts, but the 4th was one of my exceptions and I didn't snack at all

F - B - had wine with dinner and ice cream after.  It was date night, but I didn't need the ice cream.

S - B - snacked on hummus/rice crackers pre lunch.  It was kind of part of lunch, but kind of not.

S - B - had dessert, but it was Paleo and I spent the entire afternoon in the kitchen and didn't sample or pick at anything.  That is huge.

 

So my goal is to make each day the best it can be and aim for an average of an A.  I always liked getting A's. :)

 

We went berry picking yesterday and I came home with 15 lbs of strawberries.  They don't last long so I spent the entire afternoon dealing with them. I made a ton of jam, a paleo strawberry tart, a bunch of strawberry popscicles for the kids and left just a few to snack on because I know they'll go bad fast.  It was a super long afternoon, but it was fun.  I also made stir fry bok choy and homemade pizza (which I did not eat) for dinner.  I was kind of a whirling dervish in the kitchen.  Everyone just stayed out of my way! 

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Yesterday was a very clean day, so A for Monday.   It felt good to just eat my meals and not be tempted by snacks/desserts.  Week days are so much easier.  That said, today is not off to a good start.  I picked at my son's oatmeal.  It just smelled so good.  Anyway, B going so far today.  If I can avoid snacks/desserts the rest of the day, I can keep that B. 

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Thanks, Annabel.  It seems to help me stay on track without just throwing it all out after one slip.

 

So, Tuesday was a B due to the am snacking.  I REALLY wanted to have a bite of my son's DQ after his soccer game (last game of an undefeated season!!!  Just tons of tournament games left), but not wanting to add a C to my tally kept me from caving.  I'm proud of that.  For dinner, I had a lovely salad with CSA greens and herbs, sunfish caught by the 8 yo in the lake across the street, strawberries picked up the road last weekend and some avocado and goat cheese.  Super yummy and very local.  Love that!

 

Tonight will be a challenge.  My sister really wants me to come to the new restaurant she's working at while she studies for the bar exam and looks for a lawyer job and tonight is that night.  It's a new wine bar that a local/organic/super yummy bakery opened up.  So, there will be wine and dessert.  My plan, which if I follow will still give me an A for the day, is one glass of wine and no more than 3 bites of a shared dessert and do the best I can choosing a healthy meal.  It's a chance to enjoy good food and good company and prove to myself that I can do that without going overboard!  No chance of going overboard on the wine.  I am a total lightweght when it comes to alcohol and one glass is more than enough when I have to drive home.  It's the dessert that worries me because this place is a fabulous bakery.  I can do it!

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I followed my plan last night, so I get an A for Wednesday.  I had a bit of wine, a bit of a chocolate dessert, a salad with beets, goat cheese and salmon and a few bites of hummus.  I was kind of gassy last night and am crabby and my stomach is uncomfortable this morning.  I'm blaming the hummus as goat cheese hasn't seemed to bother me.  But, it could just be a combination of everything.  Sigh.  It's not bad enough to swear off eating out.  Just disappointing that I ate very moderately and am still a bit uncomfortable.  The crabby might have something to do with the mosquito buzzing me at 5am.  :)  The good part was that the company and food were wonderful and by having a plan and sticking to it, I didn't have to stress about the food part. 

 

I plan to try for very clean days today and tomorrow.  We have a party Saturday night, so I'll come up with a plan for that. 

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Yep, I think you're right, Calee.  Hummus is yummy, but maybe not worth it.  Well, maybe not worth it if I'm in polite company. :)

 

Thursday was an A day through and through.  No snacks or desserts or picking or anything.  Just good food.  I was pleasantly surprised when I went to eat lunch and found not the squash soup I thought I packed but chicken curry.  I was just glad it was something I could eat for lunch and not something totally surprising!  I probably should have opened the container before packing it. LOL

 

Today should be a good day.  We have a sleepover party going on tonight.  My 8 yo sister is coming to spend the night and the 11yo is having a friend over, too.  So, I just have to watch myself and not pick at any of the treats I may let them have.  Should be ok.

 

Tomorrow, at the party, I think my plan is one glass of wine if I feel like it but no desserts at all.  Unless it turns out they have something totally awesome.  If it's birthday cake, I'll skip it.  If it's something really worth it, I'll have just a couple bites.  I'll just make the best dinner I can with what is there and then be done.  No grazing.  That is the plan.  I can stick to it!  We're taking the kids with us, so we won't be out too late.  That will help.

 

This was a long week.  I'm glad it's the weekend.  The next two weeks will be crazy busy at work and with 11yo's soccer.  It will be a feat to get through with my sanity intact.

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Great job the last couple of days and good plan of attack for the weekend.

 

There is a cauliflower hummus recipe in Practical Paleo that I think is really yummy. In fact I think I have 3 heads of cauliflower in my fridge right now so I might make that tonight to eat my over abundance of snap peas with. Yum!

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A day Friday.  I didn't touch the kid's snacks.  Yay!  For some reason, though, even with a totally compliant day, my tummbly was rumbly a bit, so that helped keep me from wanting to dip into the popcorn.  I think it may have been from having beef two times in one day.  I'm still not convinced it agrees with me.  It's not bad enough to be conclusive, though.  Just a little upset. 

 

B+ for Saturday.  I didn't snack, pick or graze.  I did have a small square of a caramel chocolate oat thing that my cousin made and everyone was raving about.  I skipped the cake.  I had 3 tiny glasses of wine.  So, probably 1.5 real glasses.  They had some good wine and I wanted to try it.  Other than that, my food was W30, barring marinades, etc, that I didn't ask about.  I had chicken skewers, raw veg, olives and the topping from a bruschetta (I decided the bread wasn't worth it).  I feel pretty good about it, but I wish I'd resisted that last taste of wine and maybe even the dessert.  It was good, but fleeting.

 

Today will be potentially challenging with soccer games that overlap meal times.  I hate when that happens.  I'll do the best I can and if I need a larabar to get me through, I will not feel guilty about that.  But, I won't have it just because I want it, either. 

 

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

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I am so impressed with how you continue to feel your way through riding your own bike. You've really made a lifestyle commitment and you're making w9 work for you. Very inspiring!

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Thanks, LM.  I'm flattered that you find my fumbling along inspiring.  I can't tell you how much inspiration I get from your introspective posts. 

 

Sunday was a C day.  I'm very disappointed in myself.  I snacked/picked and then had dessert.  It was the dates fault.  I bought them to make date shallot chicken (love that recipe), but then I picked the dates out of the leftovers all afternoon and had a few more dates after dinner.  Bad dates!  I shouldn't buy them even for a recipe, I guess.  Bummer. 

 

I'm barely holding on to my A.  90.7%.  I have to do better than that.  Snacking, picking and desserts are not good for me.  I do better without them.  I will aim to bring my average up this week! 

 

Today is my baby's 9th birthday!  I can't believe I'm old enough to have my youngest be 9!  Crazy.  He is so excited that it's his birthday that he can barely sit still.  It's fun to see how much joy kids get out of their birthdays, as opposed to most adults who barely tolerate them!  Tonight, we are going out to dinner and then having ice cream sundae's with friends.  My clean July rules allow dessert tonight.  But, I will make sure not to snack, pick or eat any more dessert after my portion is done.  Mostly, I want to just enjoy my son and his day. 

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Dates. Fie!

Just catching up here. Husband telling me to sleep but I'm impressed with your progress as well. You're hovering in the A-/B+ range. I swing wildly from A+ to C- (Sort of like most of college.) Been a rough couple weeks and Id like toget back on track. Have too much going on in Aug to make a full 30 day commitment so maybe I'll make up my own rules like you guys. Clearly I need to get back in the forum to stay on track.

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