LadyM's seduction continues (sur son propre velo)


LadyM

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I went back to ballet! It felt like I'd never left. I started in 1995, in college, at my heaviest weight. I wasn't even a year out of chemo and radiation and my hypothyroidism wasn't yet diagnosed. I gained 40 pounds my freshman year. Yikes.

Anyway, I loved dancing so much that I persisted despite being one of the fattest girls in class. I didn't survive cancer to give up for some dumb vanity. I worked at it, stayed with it, performed with a semi-pro company, moved away, kept taking class in Boston, moved back, went back to class, graduated to pointe, and performed en pointe.

Somehow along the way I stopped. Working two full time jobs and doing a phd full time stopped me.

But being at the barre today was wonderful. Hard. I sweated buckets and feel muscles I haven't felt in a long time. I have a terrible time with choreography and remembering combinations, as ever, but it still felt good.

I'm going back Wednesday for more.

I mean, I have so many cute leotards and tights! Wouldn't it be a shame to let them go unworn any longer?

Also, I have lost some weight. About 3.5 pounds in the last month. Given the extreme measures I've taken during that time, it's not much, but hey, I'll take it. Moving in the right direction.

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First - I missed you. 

Second - I am actually clapping my hands. I am smiling like a fool. Of course because of your coming back to ballet. I remember you've shared your story in my (Mo's?) log. Now you are actually doing it. It will all come back to you in no time, I am sure. I am horrible with everything en dedans. My brain just can't reverse stuff. Glissade and assamble en dedans in a combo? Shoot me now  :D My dream is to go en pointe. Now seriously, I couldn't be happier for you. 

Third - 3,5 pounds is healthy speed. Pound per week with no miserable 1200 ccal a day, just think of what poor girls do to get this speed. Prob no need to imagine, every girl has been there. Broccoli, chicken breast and misery for dressing. 

Fourth - you've done a very important thing by spending quality time with family. Sacred, yes, that's the right word that is used here. My heart is aching to read it, but this is one of the cruel life plots. 

 

Good to have you back  :wub:

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P.S. I was reading at the office. I was making happy noise and clapping. Co-worker asked what's up. How do I explain? Oh you know, Philip, girl I've never met went back to ballet class and doing great with healing mind and body? Said it in my head and cringed, so rude! Priceless little connections made here.

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Awww, Nadia, you're so dang sweet! Thank you, Mo, and Jen, too. You're right: it's real weight. No complaining. It's a good pace.

 

Today I'm struggling. Pre-menstrual plus real stuff to grief equals a teary, grumpy day. A friend asked me if I've ever been on antidepressants, as if to suggest that I should be on them. I'm not offended, exactly, but I'm not interested, either. My lows are tied to seriously shitty life events. I can't believe that taking a pill is a healthy way to grieve.

 

Anyway, lots of maintenance today: blood work for thyroid, tires rotated and oil changed, a facial, a work meeting, a nap, and, finally, yoga. A very good class, indeed. We focused on generating and directing loving-kindness both inward and outward. The teacher challenged us to commit a random act of kindness for the next 40 days, and as hokey as it sounds, I accept the challenge. I think it might be exactly what I need to get me out of my own self-obsessed weariness and generate some good juju--for myself and the world.

 

Anyone care to join me?

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LadyM, I'm so glad you're back! I miss your wisdom when you're away. Those pounds are as real as they get and they no longer reside on your body! I love love love that you went back to ballet! You so deserve this.

40 days of kindness? No downside there. I'm in.

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Thank you, Calee!

Back to ballet today, and yikes is it hard and am I sore. Feet and inner thighs, wow. I only stayed for the hour barre today. Yoga later. Ballet makes me feel like a big klutz and yoga makes me feel like a goddess. Maybe it's a good balance? Need to work in more bike rides, too. They make me feel free, which, we've established, is the name of the game.

Off to see FMD soon. Eager to hear what she has to say, as always.

Loving white tea booch right now. Don't even want to flavor it!

BBL.

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FMD is pleased with my progress and urged me to continue. She told me to limit goitrogenic (or whatever the word is) veggies to once a day. I'm pretty happy with a salad for lunch and a shake for breakfast and dinner. I won't want to do it forever, but for now it works, and I actually enjoy the freedom from food choices. ( I am also fully aware of how anti w9/w30 this kind of talk is. But I'm going with FMD.) I'm feeling positive and calm. Walking and Yin yoga tonight were blissful. Also stopped at farmers market and picked up tart cherries, blueberries, basil, and thyme for new booch flavorings. Just about ready for bed. Goodnight, lovelies!

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"Misery for dressing." Pure poetry, Nadia. Love it. I'll remember that line. LM, glad to hear you're seeing some movement on the scale. And back to ballet! Balance is good for sure. Though of course with more "goddess" and less klutz.

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LadyM, are you on thyroid meds? I wonder if I need to limit those foods if I'm medicated?

How is your body feeling after ballet? It's so awesome that you are treating yourself to this delight!

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Walked to and from work today. Spent some time with a friend who noted that I'm looking good and that my "little shape is coming back." This is my MT BFF who's been massaging my bod for more than a decade. He knows it better than anyone, frankly, so the compliment means a lot. Feeling good about my progress. BTW, i'm wearing my denim capris with the leg Zips and they feel good, almost loose. Also, created a new fave booch: tart cherry, black plum, and basil. After a week of office work, I'm eager to get back to writing. Think I've discovered a good schedule. Walk to library, write all morning, take ballet at noon (mon and wed), walk home for lunch, read or do errands after lunch, dinner, edit/revise after dinner. It will keep me moving forward and help support my best eating schedule. I do better not snacking when I'm nowhere near my kitchen.

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Ha! Yes to more goddess and less klutz! I am on thyroid meds, Calee, and I'm also weight loss resistant and had been eating a ton of those kinds of veggies. It's a troubleshooting measure. You're doing fine, no? Why look for new ways to make eating difficult and complicated when what you're doing is working?

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I wonder if I need to limit those foods if I'm medicated?

___________________________________________

 

If your intake of goitrogens is stable, and your medication dose is having the desired results, I wouldn't change a thing.

 

From what I understand, goitrogens can supress thyroid if eaten raw or fermented, but have much more limited impact if eaten cooked. AND I am now learning that even raw and fermented goitrogens only really cause issues in people who are iodine deficient. SO, great to test as a troubleshooting measure for LadyM, but sounds like no problem for you.

 

PS- being both slightly hypothyroid and iodine deficient (I'm supplementing, but levels aren't quite there yet), I find eating too many goitrogens will cause my palms and the soles of my feet to turn orange. I guess since my thyroid can't process them it sends them out to thinner skin areas? Anyway, commentary about my skin color is always a good reminder to limit my massaged kale salad intake.

 

AND sorry to hijack your log, M. This is a topic that I can not resist  :)

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MM, that's really interesting that those veg turn you orange. Never heard of that. Everything you said checks out with what I've read, but FMD said to limit them to once a day (for me, of course) even if cooked.

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Weird day. Super productive then super lazy. Exercise fail twice. Gym messed with schedule of classes for a free community day with short back to back classes in the parking lot. Not into it. Went to yoga, but it was a sub and not someone I like or trust, so I left. Hit the farmers market and ate more berries than is advisable. Harrumph. Hard not to this time of year in the fruit belt. Berries are lower GI than most fruits so therefore better, right? Ugh. Those kinds of justifications are a sorry road to walk down. I think I didn't drink enough water today. I did, however, procure a new chest for my bathroom and cute new bottles for booch. Onward summer projects!post-19896-13737595620804_thumb.jpgpost-19896-13737596174902_thumb.jpg

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Ha! Yes to more goddess and less klutz! I am on thyroid meds, Calee, and I'm also weight loss resistant and had been eating a ton of those kinds of veggies. It's a troubleshooting measure. You're doing fine, no? Why look for new ways to make eating difficult and complicated when what you're doing is working?

Lol, I am trying to look for ways to simplify choices. Thanks for the reminder that I can be wacko with actually causing more restrictions!

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Fabulous kundalini yoga workshop this morning has energized me. Plan is to finish decluttering my place and luxuriate in reading the nyt. Grilling flank steak and chicken breast for the week is on tap too. Good stuff. Gearing up for an excellent week. I love Sundays!!

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Thanks, Calee. I'm happy with the purchases and not mad about the workouts. I'm feeling in my best summer mode right now: relaxed and in tune. No punishing allowed. For me or anyone. Hence my response to your question. You've so effectively and completely transformed your life and your body for the better I'd love to see you stop efforting and bask in the glory of what you've achieved and who you are. Mwah!! (Though I totally appreciate your impulse to simplify. Right there with you. As a lifelong glutton/7 on enneagram, anyone?/ I actually do better with fewer choices. But it also needs to be for good reason.)

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LadyM, you are the very very best. I am indeed basking a bit in my accomplishments. I went up to the wine country today and felt terrific. No wine but a lovely bunless burger for lunch. I actually tucked my tight girlie tank into my Capri gap jeans and put on a belt, then threw an open white linen boyfriend shirt over it. I was able to admire myself in the mirror which is a big step. No looking at what I'd like to improve just appreciating.

I love Sunday's too!

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Made it to bodypump bright and early even though I had to argue with myself a bit about getting out of bed. I never regret the decision to go.

 

Now I'm headed to work on foot for a morning of writing followed by ballet followed by lunch followed by a massage followed by dinner followed by a walk with a friend. Not a bad old life. And there's heavy construction that just began on the sidewalk in front of my house, so the sooner I get out of here, the better.

 

Have a wonderful day, all!

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