LadyM's seduction continues (sur son propre velo)


LadyM

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Thank you, Jen. All has gone according to plan except my massage was canceled. I'm beat, and my SI is none too happy about all the turnout. Trying to counter it with floor exercises. Going to pick up more booch supplies and considering reintroducing decaf. A paleo iced mocha made with coconut milk ice cubes in the blender sounds divine right now. It's so humid and I've been out walking in it and dancing in a muggy studio. I love it, don't get me wrong; and yet a little relief in a glass seems in order.

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Blackberries and iced cm chai coffee after yoga has set this day in the right direction. Now debating how much work to do before heading to the beach.

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I agree about berries. Plus they are too delicious (and healthful) when local and ripe to punish yourself over. I had to look up the enneagram test. I'm a 4 (creative individualist) but also maybe a 6 (security seeker).

I am envious of your routine. Sounds so wonderful. Enjoy this time. It sounds like you are really making the most of your summer.

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Thanks, Beets and Nadia. Berries are pretty much the only fruit I allow myself anymore precisely for the reasons you mentioned. But a problem I've discovered is they're now the ONLY hand to mouth food I eat. Which in itself is a pretty extraordinary fact. But old habits die hard and all that. Ah well. It's only in the summer this happens now. . . .

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Aww, thanks, Calee. And here I am feeling like I'm not getting anything accomplished!

I am loving ballet more and more. The brain is working better with the body. And lots of yoga keeps me mindful about everything. I love feeling sore deep inside the muscles.

Food is fine, though I'm still overdoing it with fruit and feeling gassy. Must be a connection there.

Trip to Chicago this weekend for pure pleasure and catching up with friends. There will be fancy eating out and there will be drinking. My girls and I have been doing the same champagne brunch for nearly a decade. I haven't had a drink since Memorial Day. I'm planning to enjoy myself fully while still avoiding grains, dairy, sugar.

Beach day Friday. So ready for it!!

Yin yoga tonight should feel like a big hug followed by a deeply restful nap. Not too shabby, eh?

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Yoga was so good. Transformed me. Reminds me that I always have the power to get very still and drop into my center regardless of what is going on outside myself. I can change the moment. Powerful. I also learned today that my tsh level is right where it should be, so it's likely not my thyroid to blame for my weight loss resistance. I've just got to keep at it. Exercise is key. Staying the course. Goal: eat less fruit. Eat at least twice as much veggies as fruit. Grilled meats make me swoon. Hooray summer!!

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Have a wonderful time in Chicago with your friends! That's great that your thyroid is where it should be. I'm getting mine tested tomorrow.

Yoga = A big hug and a deeply restful nap? Sounds delicious!

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Did pretty well on the fruit front today. Salted watermelon with lime juice with dinner only. So cooling on a crazy hot day. Not buying more fruit this week. My friends in Chicago are planning a booze-a-thon I don't want. I'll imbibe, but not to excess. I have a long history of extreme partyandbullshit with these folks. They expect madness, but I'm too old for it. We shall see how it unfolds. I want to enjoy and let loose, but not too much. Such moderation never happens for me during summer in Chicago. Hrm.

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I really needed to reconnect with my peeps. I also really needed to enjoy myself and off road without guilt. Def got both over the past couple days. Had some cravings today for sweets, but stuck to the template. Tired of being frustrated with putting forth huge effort for little to no return. Thinking I just need to take a break from efforting so much. Everything has been so clenched for so long and I just don't think that's the path to good health. Neither is eating whatever I want in any amount whenever. That's the opposite of freedom: being enslaved by one's desires. So, back to the drawing board on finding balance. Staying engaged while finding my own edge with ease. Not sure what that's going to look like, but I'm eager and curious to find out.

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Ok, you got my attention. I'm curious to see what your balance looks like too!

I think I've been willing to keep clenched to the "rules" because I'm going on vacation to Europe for 2 weeks in August as well as a 3 day conference the firstbweek of August where I gained 4 pounds in December. I intend to be mindful at the conference and eat healthy without food group limitations while on vacation. I'm lucky that Z is one of the healthiest eaters I know. I wish allowing sugar, other than dark chocolate, wasn't so tough for me. Maybe this time it won't be.

I admire your ability for self reflection. I'm glad you had a great time with your friends and that you were able to stick to your own plan today.

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Saw FMD today and cried when she asked me about how I'm doing. I'm grieving, period. And it's going to affect my health, period. My mom and grandma are both on their way out, and they're the only dependable family I've ever known. I'm doing the best I can, but it's tough.

 

FMD also discovered that my adrenals are in bad shape, so she upped one of my adrenal supplements. I'm hoping that helps give me more energy, because it's been lagging. Like 9 hours of sleep at night and then I still need a two hour nap during the day. She also confirmed that because my thyroid is weak, losing weight is simply going to be harder for me. She wants me to up my protein, keep it lean, and continue to stay away from nuts and fruit. She said a handful of berries a day max. I can do that now that I have a definitive answer, but it won't be easy. Berries are my one last treat! Oh well.

 

I just discovered that there's going to be a Whole9 nutrition workshop not too far from here next month. It's $100 for the day. Anyone done one or been involved in one? Is it worth it?

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I am literally running out of the office, but argh sweet Lady M, I am so so so sorry you are going through this. Nothing much to say, but please give your body what it needs to leave this in the past once healed. Or come over to Toronto  ;) Yoga and no nut/fruit land. 

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Thanks for the support, y'all. I've been reading up on adrenal fatigue and I'm pretty classic. Trouble is it's impossible to eliminate the stress of loved ones dying. I seem to be doing pretty much everything else right. Starting to think that even though W30/W9 hasn't delivered any magic results for me, perhaps it's been very supportive in keeping me from being much much worse. I guess that's something!

 

I went out with friends last night to one of my fave local restaurants and had crispy pork belly with arugula, roasted duck breast, sauteed greens, and a really wonderful glass of wine. Skipped the bread and polenta. Feeling good again about my ability to eat out, enjoy myself, and stay true to healthy choices for me.

 

The farmer's market this morning tried to seduce me with all the apricots, peaches, plums, berries. I did happen upon an organic blueberry grower and bought a giant box of them for the freezer. I also picked up some overripe peaches, because, dammit, fresh local peaches this time of year are one of life's greatest pleasures. Cutting myself off from pleasure has done me no favors. I think I can keep myself to the equivalent of a handful of peach on days I choose that for my fruit.

 

I've also discovered a fantastic way to use my frozen berries. Been whipping up single servings of fresh salad dressing with a T of MCT oil (I have SOOOO much of it to use after going nuts with the bulletproof idea), some lemon, balsamic, a couple T of frozen berries, fresh herbs, grated fresh garlic, and a dollop of dijon. So fresh, delicious, and thick. I've been eating that on a giant salad with shrimp, romaine, and whatever cooling non-nightshade veggies I have on hand. Today it was cukes, grated carrot, fennel, sweet onion. Add a bit of sauerkraut, avocado, and dulse flakes, and I feel like I'm doing something unquestionably good for my body.

 

All-day yoga workshop tomorrow with my favorite teacher who's on her annual visit home from New Mexico where she now lives. Really looking forward to that. I've learned so much from her about health and spirit. It's always a reset for me to be in her presence.

 

I couldn't get enough sleep last night but am OK with just letting myself sleep and sleep. My body needs it. Had plans for the market at 7 followed by the gym, but went back to sleep when my alarm went off and awoke at 11. But this is the path back to feeling good. I'm focusing on sleep, gentle movement early in the day, getting adequate lean protein, limited fruits, and having fun where I can get it. That's my protocol for now.

 

Happy weekend, everyone!

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LadyM, I am sending you the biggest of hugs. There are few words of comfort when we know that we will lose our loved ones. I'm so sorry.

I'm glad you allowed yourself the long sleep. You'll feel better at yoga tomorrow as a result.

You are wonderful with balance. I have confidence that you will work with your doc to help yourself heal. Your focus is excellent.

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"Starting to think that even though w30 hasn't done any magic for me that it's kept me from doing much much worse" (paraphrasing) um, I think in the context of eating and lifestyle, THAT IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF MAGIC. I say this because I allowed myself to slip during my recent stressful move, and I could quickly see how much worse I can feel. My best may not be superhuman but it's pretty darn good.

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Long silence over here, though I've continued to fight the good fight. Thank you, Nadia, for the very thoughtful and sweet messages. I just needed a break from the forum for a bit. I haven't given up on my health and riding my own bike.

I've been doing a series of cleanses recommended by a medical intuitive I met with. Seriously, y'all. This is the level to which I've stooped. Lots of problems deep inside. Working on it. It is, however, at least in part, related to my grief, as i suspected. my mom started hospice care this month. Im working through it. letting myself grieve fully, spending time with her, and taking care of myself.

And Im also still working with fmd, who has started me on a hydrochloric acid supplement to help with the sluggish metabolism and digestion.

I am considering doing another W30, maybe in October. I think I have a sense of how I could do it more effectively, and I long to bludgeon that sugar dragon again. It's not terrible, but I want that suckah dead as a doornail again. But I need to decide if a w30 is supportive or stressful right now.

I hope things are swell in your worlds! I've missed you.

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This thread makes me wonder (hope) you have read Debra Oliver's 'What French Women Know'.  A few years ago there was a slew of francophile love in the bookstores - why French women are so different in their attitudes toward men, food, children, body image.  I lived in London for 5 years and while I don't particularly want to 'idealize' another culture - I will say that the Europeans are far  less hard on themselves then Americans.. they either ENJOY life or seem to accept that life blows.  They don't make having their 'BEST LIFE' a crazy-making daily military mission.  They dont' worry constantly about improvement.  There is an innate sense that they are pretty hots*it just the way they are thankyouverymuch.

 

Anyway... here is an excerpt from the book if you think it might be your thing:

 

1. French women love men. A lot. They prefer men to be in the picture, not out of it.

 

2. French women prefer reciprocity and complementarity over strict egalitarianism.

 

3. French women don't need things to fit neatly into a box. Romantic possibilities don't have to be emotionally tidy or safe. Desire can be of greater import than utility; experience more important than closure.

 

4. French women have a keen sense of the brevity of time and the immediacy of pleasure.

 

5. In France women do not pick flowers and ponder love with “He loves me, he loves me not;†rather they say “He love me a little. A lot. Passionately. Madly. Not at all. . ." They think in nuances, degrees of passion, shades of grey. They do not think in the absolutes of total love and utter rejection.

 

6. French women don't care about being liked and being like everyone else. They have no desire to be "all things to all people." They know the fine art of not giving a damn.

 

7. French women do not believe in relationship experts, love gurus, how-to dogma, tools and techniques for finding love. They are not fond of rules. There is no Doctor Phil in France.

 

8. French women embrace contradictions. They can simultaneously be feminine and a feminist; sensualist and a traditionalist; classic and libertine; submissive and powerful; compliant and defiant.

 

9. French women have no word for “date.â€

 

10. French women have no word for “soul mate.â€

 

11. French women do not believe in perfection or in Happily-ever-after.

 

12. French women balance romance with realism and fatalism.

 

13. French women embrace the idea of jolie-laide. They reject packaged beauty.

 

14. French women know how to cultivate their gardens. They believe in the seductive attributes of an inner life. They believe that smart is sexy.

 

15. French women know that safe sex is possible but not safe love.

 

16. French women agree to disagree.

 

17. French women are grown-ups. They do not believe in being forever young. You will never see a French women wearing a t-shirt that says “Life begins at seventy.†(Because it doesn't.)

 

18. French women are more interested in having a life than making a living.

 

19. French women believe that personal space creates well-being. They know about boundaries.

 

20. French women are matter-of-fact about the body. They do not dramatize or sensationalize sex.

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Thank you for that! Very generous of you to retype that excerpt. Such great stuff. I went through a phase when I read many of the Francophile/French Women . . . Books, though I don't know if I read that particular one. I'll look into it! I especially love your take on the harm and folly of attempting to live your BEST LIFE. Oprah may have done us more harm than good in that regard!

I think I'll write a book for straight women about What Gay Men Know that we could learn from. Though I've spent considerable time in France and have lived in Dublin and Prague, the greatest wisdom I've gleaned has been from gay culture. Not to glorify any one culture, of course. . . .

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LadyM, I will be in Prague for three days the first week of September. Can you give me any suggestions? Z and I are staying a 3 minute walk to old town square, 1/2 mile from the old Jerwish Cemetary. I imagine we will walk every inch of the area.

How are you doing? When are you back to school?

I'm quite well. I learned a lot from my awhile experience. I miss the daily interactions here. I'm keeping up with my Pilates and walking. Eating more Template than not. Since May 1st, 1 glass of wine, a dessert or three, a bit of wheat and some yogurt. I expect my two weeks in Europe will include more of those things. I've met someone who absolutely delight me. Perhaps this time I will be lucky in love.

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