missmary Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 oh honey, I wish there was some way to help over the internet, but I'm sure this is close to useless. Is there someone you can talk to? a neutral party like a therapist, maybe? It doesn't have to be someone who understands EVERYTHING, but maybe someone to help with the emotional/psychological side instead of the technical food side? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KitchenWitchy Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 I also want to take a break from myself today... Too bad we can't switch selves for a few hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlaccini Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 Yes. It would be nice to take a break from ourselves sometimes..... I know I would like to... So sorry that you are feeling so very low. I kind of understand a little bit what you are going through.... you do everything right, everything you are eating is deamed healthy but you still suffer. THAT was my last week. And frankly it's super frustrating. I'm not nearly restricted on food as you are and it's started to get to me. Some days I feel like giving up too. But then I realize how much has actually been accomplished and how I wouldn't want to return to the person I was over a year ago. But yeah that feeling that is so much more than frustration - yeah that one - is so valid. Just a thought. If you had the complete day to yourself and you would want to relax..... what would you do. I mean really relax and put you mind on pause. Would it be going to the beach, going for a walk, get a massage, reading a book, watching movies, yoga, wandering around downtown TO..... what would it be? If you ever want to vent to a fellow whole 30er live and in person feel free to contact me. - [email protected] Cheers, Carla Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calee Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Sweet Nadia, I arrived home from Berlin late last night. I am so sorry to see you like this. I am sending hugs and more hugs. no solutions obviously because I am not in your body. Can you detach from everything for a day? Take a long walk, see a funny movie, eat as simply as possible a nd not think about results. I would bring you tea and flowers if I could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted September 14, 2013 Author Share Posted September 14, 2013 Hi friends. I am back from my depressive cave. I am deeply touched with all your virtual support and hugs. It means so much! Sadly, Mary is right. This all is beyond friends and family chat. Mental stress prevents me from healing I suppose. It's not helpingfor sure. I want to clarify that I am giving up the thought that I am "fixable" or ever be totally fine. I kind of gave up the idea of being in peace with my body. I still believe that whole9 is the way to live. Problem with detaching is that I can't shut my brain down. I can do whatever, I can't stop thinking about it all. It is especially hard when my belly doesn't feel fine 24/7. I stop thinking only when I dance, do silks/pole or yoga. That's why my inability to move past days was key to my meltdown. Having whole day to myself sounds like the worst idea. Because it's a neverending internal battle. All I can do is to hope and believe. I've been doing silks and pole and eating lots of figs. They are in season and they are wonderful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan W Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 Nads...so sorry. I now understand why you keep yourself so darn busy all the time. I have two ideas. Could you do/afford a consult with a W9 expert? Robin, Tom or Renèe could suggest which one. My other idea is hypnotism or relax pod casts. I am an extremely high anxiety person. Horrible sleeper. I have been so helped by hypnotism and soothing pod casts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmary Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 Hi Nadia!I'm so happy to see you post (I worry ). Continue to do what you need to do to feel as good as you can (silks and pole and figs FTW!). Let us know if we can help in any way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calee Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 Nadia, good to see you. I get it about detaching. It's really difficult to do. I too would recommend relaxation techniques. Sending it hugs. Yes! The figs are delightful right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted September 16, 2013 Author Share Posted September 16, 2013 Thanks, lovely friends. I've been almost good these days. My bm were surprisingly good. I have dropped kombucha completely (sigh), but can't stop drinking first coffee in the morning. I have been eating figs off fmd's plan. I ate oysters off my fmd's plan. I ate tahini off plan (it's my current obsession, not sure why. insanely good with banana). Speaking of bananas - shouldn't have had it either. I crave chocolate and eating couple squares now and then (Theo is my new fav. No nasty stuff. I should totes make my own, I have giant pack of cocoa butter). Other than that - no red meat, soup with broth for breakfast and dinner, everything is cooked, lots of fish and no coconut milk. I think tahini and oysters give me mild reaction. Mmm spaghetti squash with spoonful of sesame paste and chicken. Drool. Appetite is back to lowish-normal again, phew. I have been very very good with no hand-to mouth and overeating for quite a while lately. I've also noticed that I do better with fat on the lower side of the template. Gasp. No period. Noticed same thing as Mary - I'd rather go hungry than eat "meh" food. Partially because I will probably be violently sick. I am also started supplementing with L-glutamine. Last night I freaked out though. I had mild headache but thought it's because I haven't slept much (party with friends till 3AM, boy I am too old for this sh*t, haha). By the end of my ballet class it was worse. I went to the museum to catch the last day of the exhibition. By the end of it I was almost vomiting and passing out. My eye was twitching. Perfume smell would be the worst smell in the world. I didn't know what it was - low blood pressure (never had an issue), hypoglecimia (how do you spell it? it was 4 pm and I ate little breakfast 9am + walked + danced+ walked more) or some sort of reaction to...something. Fortunately I was in my area, went home chugged a cup of broth with lots of cold chicken. Went to bed and felt a bit better, but spent the rest of the day in bed. I wish I could fall asleep but it didn't happened until midnight. Today is ok-ish. Headache that gets worse when I drink. Weird. Yoga and early to bed is my mission. Got the meditation app too. P.S Carla, we should totally go for coffee when you are in TO. Well, if you wan, no pressure at all. I know, internet is such a wonderful safety blanket. To make up for the horrible whining and hysteric - lots of colorful pictures. You didn't think that I will give up snapping pictures 24/7, did ya? Polish festival, random landscapes and everyday life. Ready? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted September 19, 2013 Author Share Posted September 19, 2013 Alright, folks! I have been suuuuuuuper busy. Update time: - I can't eat tahini. I love it so much, but my skin breaks out in couple hours after. Chicken broccoli coconut oil mantra - I have not been working out at the gym at all forever. Guess what? I am fine. I am fine! I am not letting thoughts about "being lazy or weak". Holy cow, i am this close to freezing my membership and give myself a goddamit rest. - I learned a feet hang. When you make a lot of moves with your feet and then you have a tie around ankles and you just hang there, upside down, do plies upside down and work on your abs by trying to touch your toes. I suck so much at silks but then I remember that these people have been doing it for at least a year. Never ever sucking made anyone so happy. - I love my ballet classes. I can't believe that it's been a whole year already. - My sleep pattern has changed. I wake up within an hour after falling asleep and I am SUUUUUPER alert. Then I wake up in the morning and after breakfast I feel unreal tiredness. - I eat figs. I should stop. They are ungodly good. - My bms are good. Like good!!!! - I am not loosing weight with no fruit, nuts and whatever. I am really wondering if that's gonna change if I fix my sleep? I need to try harder! - I leave for camping tomorrow. Oh boy, I am super nervous. First time ever. We wil have coolers and a grill. My plan so far: Friday night: grill 2 sausages (one for dinner and one for breakfast) and summer squashes. Saturday: l/o sausage with portioned pre made spinach/pumpkin mash. Lunch: canned salmon with avocado on the trail. Dinner: grilled sausage and summer squashes. Sunday: same as Sat. Snacks: box of local peaches to grill, homemade marshmallows (if I have time to make them tonight), jerky (if I have time to make it), bag of coconut macaroons (they are very good and no crap I can't handle) and a bar of dark chocolate. I should be fine, hat do you say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Physibeth Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Sounds like freezing the gym membership might be a good idea. Just take one thing off your plate for a few months and remove the temptation. Yay for silks and ballet! I was flipping through the classes that are offered by our cities recreation department and I saw adult ballet classes. They are not teaching level 1 this time around though and I know I need a major refresher. I'm going to keep an eye on that. I saw tap classes too but the ones at my level are not at a great time. Once I get settled in I might give those a go though. Have fun camping! Food sounds good to me but I'm not much of a camper myself. On the sleep thing. I find the harder I "try" the worse I sleep. Do you have a good bedtime ritual? Maybe come up with a ritual to go through when you wake as well? I often just count backwards slowly from 100 in my head and that often works for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlaccini Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Hi Nadia, Weeee camping!! I actually love camping, but seem to do less of it as I get older. There is something so cozy about huddlling around a campfire with a mug of coffee/hot chocolate/(bone broth?) I actually wanted to suggest going out for coffee but I didn't know how you would feel about it. I'm actually in town next week.....(week of Sept 23rd) so it would be nice. Glad to hear that you are feeling better. And enjoying figs. My father-in-law grows them in his backyard in Montreal. So we get our fill too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 Sounds like freezing the gym membership might be a good idea. Just take one thing off your plate for a few months and remove the temptation. Yay for silks and ballet! I was flipping through the classes that are offered by our cities recreation department and I saw adult ballet classes. They are not teaching level 1 this time around though and I know I need a major refresher. I'm going to keep an eye on that. I saw tap classes too but the ones at my level are not at a great time. Once I get settled in I might give those a go though. On the sleep thing. I find the harder I "try" the worse I sleep. Do you have a good bedtime ritual? Maybe come up with a ritual to go through when you wake as well? I often just count backwards slowly from 100 in my head and that often works for me. Yes, it seems like a good idea to me (plus saving money on membership towards silks classes). I think that ballet will totally be beneficial for you since I remember you are not a big stretching fan Plus it has corrected my posture big time. Any fun class will do, I feel that "movement for fun" is an amazing way to deal with the upcoming winter/stress. My problem is that I wake up a lot during the night. I have no problem falling asleep. I think you are right, the more I think about improving sleep, the more anxious it becomes. Maybe just getting to bed earlier will be my goal for now. Hi Nadia, Weeee camping!! I actually love camping, but seem to do less of it as I get older. There is something so cozy about huddlling around a campfire with a mug of coffee/hot chocolate/(bone broth?) I actually wanted to suggest going out for coffee but I didn't know how you would feel about it. I'm actually in town next week.....(week of Sept 23rd) so it would be nice. Glad to hear that you are feeling better. And enjoying figs. My father-in-law grows them in his backyard in Montreal. So we get our fill too. Emailed you Homegrown figs gooooooooshhhhhh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 I am back! I have survived! My tummy was very cooperative and hasn't ruined anything! It was very interesting and exciting. Some pictures for now Post later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Physibeth Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Yes, it seems like a good idea to me (plus saving money on membership towards silks classes). I think that ballet will totally be beneficial for you since I remember you are not a big stretching fan Plus it has corrected my posture big time. Any fun class will do, I feel that "movement for fun" is an amazing way to deal with the upcoming winter/stress. My problem is that I wake up a lot during the night. I have no problem falling asleep. I think you are right, the more I think about improving sleep, the more anxious it becomes. Maybe just getting to bed earlier will be my goal for now. Yes stretching and posture is a big part of my desire to take ballet again. I'm actually fairly flexible which is why I think it is so hard for me to want to focus on stretching. I don't much like yoga or pilates but I could enjoy a ballet class. I have more trouble staying asleep than falling asleep these days too. I intend to do some more research into the whole staying asleep thing at some point here. Gorgeous pictures! Glad you survived and had a good time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlaccini Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Gorgeous Pictures! Where abouts did you go camping? Happy to hear that your stomach behaved. Maybe you were more relaxed and less stressed? That does make a difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted September 24, 2013 Author Share Posted September 24, 2013 We were in Algonquin. There was a crazy thunderstorm Friday night and it rained the whole Saturday. We still managed to do 2,5 mile hike along with 7,5 mile hike. We also did a little canoe trip. I've noticed that I was hungry allllll the time. For breakfast I'd put down a big sausage, medium sweet potato and half of giant avocado. I also ate a lot of bananas as they were portable. I've made jerky - maple sage yummmmm. I felt like I ate all the time. I also felt like I am craving sugar these days like mad = several mini chocolates from Italy brought by my boss. Headache and itchiness hello. Overall I feel that camping was easy peasy in terms of food. I also was amused looking at people eating canned soup for lunch and eating half box of cookies one hour after because they are hungry. Or having 3 pieces of toast covered with honey for breakfast and being tired half hour after on the trail. However I was the weird one, huh? More pictures What else - I am going to see the doctor tomorrow to talk about my thyroid/hormones/no periods and I bought zoodle-maker (FINALLY). I also have very very bad acne. Doooh. And zero food in the fridge for second day in a row. I am very hungry today too. I ate a big mahi mahi steak, avocado and a huge pile of mixed grees. And a small box of blueberries and I am hungry again. Oh boyyyy not againnnnnnn. Why do I always cycle from very good to very bad and up to good again? Hate this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted September 25, 2013 Author Share Posted September 25, 2013 So I am back from the doctor. I am maaaaaaaad. He told me that I am fine because my labs are fine. No period for on average 6-7 months now and then are perfectly healthy, people, didn't you know? He told me my hormones are fine so is my thyroid. While the previous doc told me it's border line low. Now I am not sure if he understood the story of my weight loss - losing lots of weight, gaining, losing and gaining back for various reasons. I guess he was under the impression that I've always been super skinny. I was telling a VERY detailed story to the nurse who was writing it all down. Regardless, he told me to LOOSE couple pounds. You know what's funny? Just when I finally got to think that I can live with how I look for now (Less digestive distress = less bloat = less feeling big/fat). Thyroid tests for T3, T4 and TSH. Next appointment in Dec. Thank you, public health care. I really get why it's free here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Physibeth Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I'm sorry Nadia. Is this a primary care doctor or an OBGYN? The period issue is enough to raise flags and losing weight is generally never the right answer to get a period back. I hope you can find someone who can actually help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted September 25, 2013 Author Share Posted September 25, 2013 I was seeing a women health doctor and her only answer was to go on the pill after all the tests. Then she referred me to the gynecologist. I was waiting for an appointment for 3 months. All I got from it today - do the lab, come back in December Oh and loose weight of course. Now here is the thing - I actually can't. I have been off fruits/nuts/starches/any sugars for a while. I also has not been eating tons of fat. I don't think I've lost anything, but come on I am not over 130 lb I am sure (even thought I can't recall when I've weighted myself for the last time. Chiro appointment and I can't recall the number hehe). So confusing, but I will keep eating safe foods for my tummy and try to deal with sleep/stress. I am actually lost with what to do. FMD - I feel weird about her. Somehow I am not convinced she is the right specialist for me. I know it's been only an initial consultation and a little follow-up session, but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Physibeth Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 I think where your health is concerned it is good to follow your intuition. If you don't feel right about it then it probably isn't right. What were you doing differently before you got your last period? I know keeping a detailed food log sucks but it might help you figure out the connections. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted September 25, 2013 Author Share Posted September 25, 2013 I think where your health is concerned it is good to follow your intuition. If you don't feel right about it then it probably isn't right. What were you doing differently before you got your last period? I know keeping a detailed food log sucks but it might help you figure out the connections. Ahahah, I went to Montreal and ate helluva ton of eggs + potatoes + cheesecake (and got a horrible reaction after). Other than than - nothing has changed that month. That's a good idea to look up my posts from a couple months prior, but I can't recall anything changing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlaccini Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 My cousin's wife has her periods once a year. She was advised they were "Normal" as well. Personally I never thought that would be ever normal. Just like having 4 day migraines every month. I never considered these "normal" either. However I was told over and over that I just had to find ways to cope, as there was nothing much that could be done. Such B.S. No wonder I've lost a lot of respect for Dr's over the years. In the end I suppose we all have to follow gut insticts. If FMD was not right for you, maybe find another? You may have to change Dr's multiple times before finding one that's willing to look into things further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Physibeth Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 Ahahah, I went to Montreal and ate helluva ton of eggs + potatoes + cheesecake (and got a horrible reaction after). Other than than - nothing has changed that month. That's a good idea to look up my posts from a couple months prior, but I can't recall anything changing. The thing that sets a bell ringing is the potatoes (and cheesecake I suppose). I've read so many posts on here about how people lose their period when they go too low carb. I just keep coming back to perhaps that is the issue for you. If you do have Thyroid problems very low carb is a problem as well if I recall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted September 25, 2013 Author Share Posted September 25, 2013 I thought about it so much and here you are, reminding me about it. I don't think I am too low carb though (what is considered too low carb though? I am over 50 under 150...approximately). I am not doing well with fruits/starches (potential bacteria) - where do I get them otherwise? When I up my carbs I put on weight momentarily. Which leads me to the conclusion that if I am about to eat more carbs I need to scale down on.....? Protein? fat? As I said, I am totally clueless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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