Jessica

The crazy things people say

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I live in an area with no Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, so the organic aisle of my generic grocery store is the best I've got.

So I'm walking through the other day, and I see a display of "Primal Jerky!" My heart soared! I could pack these as snacks! Because of course, by primal, they mean no sugar added, organic, grass fed, dried beef, right???

No. They're vegan. First ingredient on every flavor is either Vital Wheat Gluten or Non-GMO Soy Protein.

Fail.

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So I'm walking through the other day, and I see a display of "Primal Jerky!" My heart soared! I could pack these as snacks! Because of course, by primal, they mean no sugar added, organic, grass fed, dried beef, right???

No. They're vegan. First ingredient on every flavor is either Vital Wheat Gluten or Non-GMO Soy Protein.

Fail.

I've seen similar ones - every time I see them I just think ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

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I have to post this. It's not really something stupid that was said - rather the opposite. Nothing said and nothing stupid...for once.

I've been paleo since Aug of 2011. I've been to see my parents (they live in FL, I live in Oregon) about 5 or 6 times since my switch because I travel to their area for work twice a year. I've been to see them three times now while on a Whole30 (I even put copies of ISWF in some stockings at the holidays this year!). Every time, it's a food battle with my mom and mostly because she likes to question me and my motives (not because she disagrees that my food is healthy). Every visit, I try to be as non-confrontational as I can and I often buy and prepare my own meals or dishes on the side.

This past visit, I arrived and she immediately pulled out all the stuff she'd bought for me: a big container of baby greens, organic apples and blueberries, compliant chicken apple sausages, a new bottle of olive oil and avocados!! My parents don't eat ANY of these things (except olive oil). I didn't ask her to prep anything either. She just got it all right, without having to ask. All these visits and what do you know...she was paying attention!

For dinner that night we had grass fed lamb chops, roasted veggies (in olive oil) and a greens loaded salad (my dad skipped the greens - he can't eat them for medical reasons...don't ask). No sugar. No bad oils. No grains/legumes/starches. I didn't even have to ask.

AWESOME. Truly. (plus, they loved the dinner and are eating more like that even when I'm not around!)

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OH and this was a doozy...

My friend's birthday was on my day 3.

On day 2...

Me: I'm gonna have to figure out something to eat other than the pizza and cake that's planned...

My friend: For my birthday present, I want you to eat pizza and cake!

Me: What kind of bullsh*t request is that? I'm doing this to be healthier and you're basically saying my gift to you is to be less healthy? No.

BUT...on the flipside...while everybody was eating their cake, he said, "do you want some fruit or something?" So that was nice.

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I have a more positive one too...

My bosses (as you can see above) are very VERY ignorant of nutrition. I work for a very small family business (they are a married couple), and they provide us with family-style lunches every day. A while back, knowing I was trying to eat healthier, the wife fixed up a lunch of plain spaghetti noodles with a side "salad" that was just lettuce, with both being drizzled with olive oil. She thought that was just the pinnacle of a healthy lunch. AND that it was tasty!

And then...early in my W30, I brought my own lunch that entailed zucchini noodles. She looked at it and said, "I thought you weren't allowed to eat pasta?"

So, yay! a) "Pasta is not a health food" finally sunk in! and B) the zucchini noodles passed as pasta! We're getting somewhere!!! Baby steps...

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I got another one!

For those who don't know....it's Girl Scout Cookie season here....and Girl Scout Cookies are like crack. It's basically a right of passage to buy several boxes (or more!) every year and stash them away in your freezer for noshing on throughout the year b/c you can ONLY get them from adorable children/teenagers in the late winter/early spring. My brother actually told me I was a fool for doing a Whole30 right now b/c it's Girl Scout Cookie season.

But that's not the point of my post!

My (infamous) boss bought our office a box of cookies.....the yummy ones with a cookie topped with caramel and coconut and chocolate....

Boss: Hey Sarah, I bought you guys some cookies!

Me: Are you trying to kill me?

Boss: Nah, these are the ones with coconut! You said coconut is okay, right??

Me: Sure, when it's not in the form of a sugar bomb...

Then I put a few in the freezer for safekeeping lol!

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I can relate on the above. My in-laws are super in every way. However when it comes to food - it gets a bit interesting at times. They make a lot of there own food - they make there own sausages, deli meat (think proscuito and cappicollo), wine, tomato sauce, etc. Because they make so much themselves a lot of the things I don't have issues with.

I did howver get guilted into having homemade lasanga on valentines day. And truthfully it doesn't take much to guilt me into something especially since I know if I turn them down feelings will be hurt. And I was past whole 30 so basically I get to eat what I want. But during this meal - it was recently discovered that I had encouraged my SIL (and family) to go primal. Well my MIL had a problem with that because children just "need" pasta. It wasn't good for them if they didn't have bread and pasta of some sort. I didn't argue with them.

That same evening I was offered some chamomile tea - which I discovered was instant. My MIL response was - don't worry it's just chamomile. I asked for the package just to see out of curiousity as it tasted mighty sweet. The first ingriedient was sugar. Oh well. It went right along with the lasangna.....

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I was passing by a new bulk foods stop in the indoors farmers market. I saw my favorite green beans and beet chips (usually I buy them at another spot where they are 100% compliant). Here is the conversation I had.

- Are those plain?

- Yes, just salt.

- Are you sure there is no oil?

- Yes, yes, absolutely. Try one.

- I can taste oil.

- That's not possible, it's just sprayed over.

- ??????

- Well, there is no oil. Not like it's deep fried or anything.

Facepalm.

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"So how do you get any fiber???"

THIS question is hilariously hilarious.

A friend asked me the same thing the other day. I said, "Wow, good question. Let's do an experiment. Let's each eat 4 cups of kale, 3 cups of spinach and 2 cups of broccoli every day for a week, and keep the rest of our eating habits the same. If neither of us poops more or poops better than usual by the end of the week, then I'll look into reintroducing grains to my diet."

She said she appreciates my dedication to science, but she didn't want to enroll as a subject in the poop study. Oh, well.

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In my grocery cart: two beautiful bunches of asparagus, ten avos ( on special), six yams, one clamshell each strawberries and blueberries, a bunch of bananas, a red bell pepper.

One woman: "I want your shopping cart! Such healthy food!" (What I didn't say: "You just need to put stuff like this in your own cart!") Guy ahead of me in checkout line said he was jealous because he wished he could afford food like that. The second one was more sad than crazy. I referred him to look up the Whole30 site and told him how lots of people are finding ways to eat healthy on a budget.

It seems to me some of the best food deals are in the produce aisle.

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Catching up from the last few days ...

Husband: I'm really not hungry enough for lunch because I haven't done anything today.

He then ate at least four servings of a check mix thing (loaded with MSG which he knows he can react to) and a bag of Dr. Pepper jelly beans.

Then there was the lady at the store that was overweight. Her cart had Double Stuffed Oreos and a box of diet cereal.

Husband: but they cancel each other out!

A friend of ours, after seeing our cart with a ton of veggies in it: man, she's really strict about your food! I'm going to go get my bachelor food ...

He then walked to the frozen pizzas while we stocked up on meat.

Am I the only one whose husband is serious about thinking he will keel over and die without his bread and pasta? He agrees that it worked for me and for his dad, but is convinced he would go into shock and die.

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