Nadia's PW30. "Let's fix it" journey.

[Delphine]

- Got stuck in the middle of a St. Paddy's parade and went to an amazing exhibition at the National Gallery on the way home. Giotto's panels from Florence – love and book pages by Brunelleschi.

Nice!!!!

[Nadia B]

Day 76.

Monday brought us:

- Dangerously upset tummy (probably last night carb fest) and megabloat (but it's that time of month).

- No hunger at all.

- Great breakfast: lettuce (I love it and can eat it forever. Strange as it's like 80% water) + rutabaga fries (omg) + caramelized fennel/mushrooms + prosciutto (I can eat it forever item #2) + last piece of meatloaf (finally!). Black coffee.

- Nasty weather and a freezing rain/snow storm alert. Canadian spring yea.

- Lunch: Brussel sprouts (I am bloated anyways so who cares) + carrot ribbons + lettuce + liver love.

- Pilates after work.

- My cha-cha class is cancelled. So not cool.

Dinner: lamb stew + cabbage + cucumber/avocado. And I made a chocolate avocado pudding. I think this is the perfect "dessert" or "treat" for me. I don't react to cocoa powder as I do to chocolate. It is nut free. It doesn't have density of a paleofied treats with tons of flour/oil/butters. It works for me without any added sugar, which is a huge bonus. It is quick to make. It has my favorite texture and it's hard to overeat it. If I ever need a treat fix - this is my go to from now on. 100%.

Link share time - absolutely magic and fascinating blog From Belly to Bacon of a man who loves home food projects like kidney pop tarts or hay butter. Non compliant or paleo, but seriosly it's worth it.

PS. I have crazy craving for peanut butter. First real craving since going paleo. Oh my.

[Nadia B]

Day 77. New take on squatting.

Went to bed early and had 8,5 hour sleep, awesome. I am still waking up 2-3 times per night, but I have started to sleep longer. Goodgoodgood.

Breakfast same as dinner: cabbage + lamb stew (it's gone oh no) + rest of the avocado pudding. Felt like protein was really low in this meal and ate several slices of prociutto with lettuce. Coffee.

Giant salad for lunch: lettuce (one more head to go)/mango/seaweed/cucumber/salmon/ume vinegar + two basil cod sliders.

Gym after work.

Link share time. Happy Hippie stuff is cool and I want to be brave enough to drop my shampoos and fancy skin care stuff. This is the new level. Though it makes sense I couldn't believe my eyes. So, dear readers, Squat on your Potty! For real. Toilet talk, yep.

[Derval]

Oh yeah I have come across those before - paleo people talk poop a lot!

I have had colonics twice and the bathroom (that you run to!) afterwards has a step like this to aid elimination (not that it need aiding much after a colonic!). I don't see why you couldn't use a kids toilet step though - helluva lot cheaper

[Nadia B]

I have had colonics twice and the bathroom (that you run to!) afterwards has a step like this to aid elimination (not that it need aiding much after a colonic!). I don't see why you couldn't use a kids toilet step though - helluva lot cheaper

Oh yea, this thin line between having a good pace to get to the destination on time and saving yourself from public embarrassment I sent the link to my granny who grew up in the countryside with no amenities, obviously. She went: "Sooo I was paleo all my childhood?!"

[Nadia B]

Day 77. Peanut misery.

Here is the picture of the "spring" we are having here, so you get the mood of my post (and skip it if getting depressed and bored isn't your goal).

Update of misery. I had this peanut craving. Today it went on. And on. I ate both pre and post WO meals after lunch. Hunger + odd craving = no good. I ate handful of peanuts and a peanut Larabar. You know what's killing me? Not that I had them lying around. I bought them while picking up meds at drug mart. I payed for being miserable. F**k this s**t. I feel pretty much gross. And hungry again. How to stop this hell? I can't drink more tea. Stupid cycle.

I was having a party in my stomach for good 3 hours, swollen throat to the point of breathing difficulties and weakness. Not sure if it's mental or I actually had a reaction to peanuts.

Literally dragged myself to the gym, like I was close to going home about million times. I went to the spinning class to help release the stress. Do you consider them to belong to a "chronic" cardio thing? I hate running but I like spinning because you do sprints and races, and change positions. I went to tabata class after. My muscles were crashing several times during those two hours. Not fun.

Went home and had lame dinner. Like this lame - steamed broccoli and opo (aka long) squash and veal meatballs. Picked at avocado mush from the jar. Felt gross and went to bed.

You know what really scares me aside from actually going and buying crap? I caught myself having "calorie in and out" kinda thoughts. I am one mad girl who needs to relax.

[missmary]

mad mad girl! sorry peanuts suck.

Toronto looks like Minneapolis right now, except in your photo it has the extra film noir-like mystery. pretty!

I used to be spinning obsessed and decided it was chronic cardio for me (also none of the good classes worked in my schedule anymore). I do Sprinting and Agility now instead.

relax and feel better, please and thank you.

[Derval]

I think spinning definitely feels like stress to your body. Jason Seib told me to drop the zumba too when I was on EPLF.

Looks like Canada & Ireland are pretty alike in ignoring the fact that it's Spring for gawds sake.

Hope you feel better soon, remember to stick to this peanuts & only this.

[Nadia B]

Day 78. Whining goes on.

Had great sleep. It really makes me happy when my body agrees to have rest. However I still feel very uneasy as I am desperate to figure out how to carry on with my little head and stomach and health and so on. I have too much going on.

- I try to get close to AIP (still DI)

- I try to do low FODMAP (potential cause of DI)

- I try to limit starches (weight loss paranoid)

- I try to limit protein (not digesting it well apparently)

- I try to lose weight/inches back (weight loss paranoid)

A. Lack of consistency everywhere

B. Old habits of calculating (I actually calculated carbs intake for the past week ouch), trials of denying myself with food and feeling guilty for eating in general and all sorts of destructive behaviors)

C. Odd hunger and cravings

D. Stress to my little brains

I am positive that I will figure something out. I can do this. I need to do this. Because, seriously, who cares that my waist is not 23 inches anymore but whooooole 1,2 inch more? I do and it's so so wrong. But I suspect that the reason is somewhere deeper and I have to fix that first. Like self esteem maybe. Dunno, but I won't let it make my life miserable.

Not much food left and I am almost out of protein (disgusting voice in my head - because you ATE it all). Had to get creative and run on whatever leftovers are in the fridge.

Breakfast: veal meatballs + this variation (french beans/subbed celeriac for zuchinni/cucumber/leeks/mustard and dill. Very very cool, try it!).

Lunch: zuchinni noodles + carrot ribbons + can of sardines.

Sunny outside (deadly cold still), dancing today, no clue what's for dinner and I miss eggs (pic is too small, but it's written "I am lonely without you" and "have em' scrambled"). Maybe I try eggs.

Just my "happens too often whining". Sorry people, ignore me, but please, TRY the salad. It's cool.

Sitting and doing my nails right at my desk as I type. Whatever.

[Renee Lee]

How you doing, Nadia?

[Nadia B]

How you doing, Nadia?

Mmm besides that I failed to stick to "it's not about weight loss" statement and proved to be lying (though I was convinced I battled this weight loss thing at a time of posting) in my early posts here?

Good stuff: scaling protein back and cooking veggies worked and nausea is almost gone, skin is clear and sleep is getting a bit better.

Bad stuff: I have hard times being friends with my brains and sticking to the plan, because I have too many of them.

My nails look cool, that's for sure

[Delphine]

Good stuff: scaling protein back and cooking veggies worked and nausea is almost gone, skin is clear and sleep is getting a bit better.

This is huge!!

[Renee Lee]

Awesome to hear about the nausea and skin improvements.

I'm sorry you're caffeine, egg and coconut free lamecakes

but at least your nails look good!

[nshepardson]

Ah Nadia - you never fail me - another new totally awesome recipe.

Doin' the Happy Dance thing for your new "discoveries", very cool

Snoop' Dog's the best right Derval?

[Nadia B]

Grateful for support and embarrassed that I need to be babysitted.

I asked myself several questions and it brought relief of some sort:

- Why don't you obsess about becoming smarter or calling your family more often or being a better person instead of agonizing about the stuff you eat?

- Why don't you go, do some crazy ____ insert popular diet, wait till your hair will start to fall off again, your menstruation will stop for half year until you take hormones again and your bf drops to the desired 15% again. Then you can go and post half naked pictures on instagram along with bunch of mentally challenged 15 year old girls (no offence). Sounds like a wicked idea, Nadia.

Toronto looks like Minneapolis right now, except in your photo it has the extra film noir-like mystery. pretty!

relax and feel better, please and thank you.

Yes, maaam, getting cortisol under control! Film-noir aesthetics is way too romantic for a city like T More of a cover to the horror movie. I'll join sprinting camp when the weather gets better.

I think spinning definitely feels like stress to your body. Jason Seib told me to drop the zumba too when I was on EPLF.

Two for spinning being chronic cardio = OUT. Did you finish the book? I am a bit disappointed to tell you the truth. I think the word "coach" in the title is misleading. And I don't like success stories.

I keep wondering - what did you put in google search to get this picture

This is huge!!

Too inconsistent and subtle to celebrate unfortunately. Tiny progress can feel huge though, you are right.

I'm sorry you're caffeine, egg and coconut free lamecakes

I try to, it's too damn hard, but I'm getting there. It's like the best motivation - get it fixed to have eggs back

[Nadia B]

Day 79.

Trying to get the correct mindset to keep going. Had "rebel" breakfast while doing so.

I LOVE this quote:

Hunger is hunger. Excess exercise is excess exercise. Obsessing over food is obsessing over food. This is what the world becomes for you if you achieve supermodel thinness when you are not designed to be that way. You end up always safeguarding against gaining weight; you hyperanalyze your food; you restrict yourself constantly in order to meet your caloric goals. You might think it's worth it now. You might even think it's worth it for a few years. But obsession is a sneaky, sneaky son of a bitch.

Packed lunch. Found coconut butter in the drawer at work and ate waaaaaay too much. Nasty me says skip dinner, but I am so going to have a dinner. And i make sure it's a tasty one. The only problem - I have 0 food in the fridge. I steamed my last shrimps from the freezer. Ouch

Dentist today and ballet if I survive.

[Delphine]

keep going! keep going! keep going! improvements are happening

[nshepardson]

Day 79.

Trying to get the correct mindset to keep going. Had "rebel" breakfast while doing so.

I LOVE this quote:

Hunger is hunger. Excess exercise is excess exercise. Obsessing over food is obsessing over food. This is what the world becomes for you if you achieve supermodel thinness when you are not designed to be that way. You end up always safeguarding against gaining weight; you hyperanalyze your food; you restrict yourself constantly in order to meet your caloric goals. You might think it's worth it now. You might even think it's worth it for a few years. But obsession is a sneaky, sneaky son of a bitch.

Not just sneaky, right? But SNEAKY SNEAKY son of a bitch,it is indeed. You are def on a roll, keep kickin dat b***h to dat curb

[Nadia B]

Days 79-80-81. Paleogizer.

Everything has been crazy and I am still riding emotional roller coaster. Here is a long update of how are things since Thursday. Pretty random.

1. I could have won a contest "The ugliest dinner". Not even posting the picture, but for brave people who are not eating at the moment of clicking. Ugliest meal of the year.

2. My energy levels are up recently. I want to feel like this every day.

3. I had crazy Friday, done million of things. Got lucky at the farmers market - more lettuce, local sweet rainbow carrots, mayer lemons and golden beets + duck legs. Yessss.

Meet my new friend - Beetman!

4. Got new scarf. Got last minute tickets to the ballet that was sold out weeks ago. Went alone. It was breathtaking.

4. Cooked till 2 am because came from ballet late. Stuffed myself with "testing" again. I am fighting with portion control thing. Again it's not what I eat, but how I eat. I just realized that I do have a serious oral fixation - I used to have something in my mouth ALL THE TIME. Cigarette, one of multiple coffees or gum. Now I transfer it to food. Should be easier after realizing this. Finally I could prioritize my steps - I will not worry about what I eat in terms of fewer/more carbs etc, but I have to fix eating pattern and food volume. I can not move further while I have "hand to mouth" or binge-like behaviors in my life.

5. Had fantastic workout that was done in team of two. So much fun. We killed it and finished second after a couple of muscular dudes. Here is the workout, try and figure what we had to do!

6. Went with parents to the musical, had awesome time and introduced Dad to the world of kombucha. He loved it. Agreed to do exchange once my scoby will grow big enough.

7. Huge family gathering is going well. Salad was fantastic (was gone in seconds). Here is what I end up making: salad, roated portobello caps + roasted kabocha squash and balsamic Brussels Sprouts. Dad brought home salted salmon. Mom and I also made fish/dill/asparagus pate. I insisted on modifying recipe to make it compliant and it turned better than original. I tried some other dishes that seemed to be fine, but I think I accidentally ate something that doesn't agree with me as I had a splitting headache by the end of the night. I finish this post and will go have tea and strawberries for dessert.

8. Tomorrow is going to be good. I will be good to myself. Promise.

[Moluv]

The ballet DOES look breathtaking! And the party food is gorgeous!

[missmary]

everything but the headache sounds great! what pretty food (except when it's ugly...I clicked... )

[nshepardson]

Ugliest meal in the world? I think I got you beat, remember this one . . . . .

http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/7773-finally-nanettes-post-whole60/page__st__21

[Nadia B]

The ballet DOES look breathtaking! And the party food is gorgeous!

Heya, thanks for stopping by and dropping a line. Your post def got me motivated to get through this party.

Ugliest meal in the world? I think I got you beat, remember this one . . . . .

Are you calling the Pork Universe UGLY? No way.

[Nadia B]

Day 82-83.

Sunny Sunday and I:

- Started day with a short interval workout. Nice way to start a day. It wasn't challenging but I felt toned. I think I'll try to incorporate more of them. Maybe twice a week on days I don't workout at the gym.

- Had great breakfast with my loved bacon and eggs. This unfinished cartoon of pastured organic eggs was calling my name. I can't waste them, but won't be buying more for now.

- Decided to spend lots of time outside to catch the sun. Went to look for new blender and bought a little greenhouse and couple packs of seeds. Don't you love the brand? I do!

- Picked a box of mason jars and got a bit crazy with them. Pantry organizing = fun.

- Made broth. It smells amazing and I can't wait to try it.

- Had lunch. Beef sausage + greens + opo squash/rutabaga. Had decaf coffee later. It's like jumping on a rake. Just quit caffeine, Nadia. It is really not doing good for you. Today too.

- Made spicy marinated carrots with my rainbow beauties. Even not properly pickled they tasted super good.

- Went on a cheesecloth adventure – just couldn't find it anywhere. Got luck at the closing fancy fabric store. Asked half yard, got a strange look. “Oh, it's for cookingâ€. Shouldn't have said that to the store lady.

- Left ghee unattended and it turned dark caramel color. I panicked. Let it cool and tried it. I wanted to eat the whole jar with my tablespoon.

- Made double baked turnips (see little ball hiding behind salad with caramelized onions on top?). I feel this recipe can make an avid turnip hater into a turnip addict. They are so unbelievably good.

- Ate one for dinner along with beef liver/onions/bacon + greens/cucumber. Avocado pudding after. Tummy didn't like the pudding (tiny bit of cm in it? Cocoa?), but my taste buds were pretty happy with this dinner.

Still having various DI issues, odd pains and breakouts (eggs I believe), but I am so much more stable emotionally, which is awesome. Overall - I will have very tough times ahead, but the feeling that I am taking care of myself (trying to) helps me to stay positive and calm for now. Maybe I should go and hug a tree to make it to the absolute zen.

Day 83. Monday. Sun again. Wow.

Breakfast: collard + portobello mushrooms in bit of ghee + leftover chicken for salad + pickled carrots (go make some).

Lunch: ginger-lime shrimps + zoodles + cucumber + too generously cut avocado.

I think I was a little low fat and protein for breakfast. Result - hungry 3,5 hours after. No bueno.

Pilates after work.

[Moluv]

Twice baked turnips looks yummy! I posted a thread a while back about turnip hate and got some ideas but still haven't tried anything. This actually looks like I would like it, and they are really pretty little packages so I can see doing this on a night when I actually prepare a well thought out dinner.

I know you are struggling with your eggs and coffee, but it may help to think of it just the same way other people approach the regular w30, it's only for 30 days. If you could eliminate both of them for just that long, then reintro one at a time, you would know once and for all their effect, and it may become so unmanageable that you don't even WANT them anymore. Or conversely, you may be able to avoid them for a sufficient time period to allow some real healing so that you CAN tolerate them later.

All of your food pictures are gorgeous, you are obviously skilled in the kitchen so I'm sure you would expand your creativity further by taking eggs out. Coffee though, man, that's a psychological and physical thing. Sometimes I just have to breath coffee and then I'm good. When I tasted it again after about 3 weeks with none, it tasted like something that would come out of a 150 year old clogged drain. I was shocked how much my taste for it changed, even though the smell is something I enjoy.

Good luck to you!!