Moderators LadyM Posted May 15, 2014 Moderators Share Posted May 15, 2014 No, I meant the hot dog mono diet you seem to be on. Is it because it's the only thing that doesn't give you trouble? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 Hahah no I am just lazy and didn't have anything else planned/prepped. I will do better tmr, prooooomise! Maybe some salad on the bus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 17, 2014 Author Share Posted May 17, 2014 My hunger clues are all out of whack again. I blame BC. I would eat and be satisfied and happy but come 9pm - I am dying from hunger. To the point of the stomachaches. So weird. I eat of course, but it usually hits me when I am out = I have to deal on the spot. Like that salad with mozzarella. Or like something with gluten last night at the Royal Museum party (hot bun filled with brisket thing). What is interesting - no real reaction. Not even a usual bloat or itch to anything. Not interested in experimenting again tho. What gave me crazy itch though is a hair product I used on Fri. I decided to battle mild self consciousness with trying to do my baby hair. How ironic is that? Good day still, biked to work, biked on my lunch to pick up the concert tickets J won (but I got them because he is away) and met a biking buddy. Girl with the new bike and no clue what she is doing, just like me. Exchanged contacts, sweet. Went to the gym (front and back squats and my ankle is allowing me to drop to the parallel MAJOR). Awesome conditioning circuit too - 30 kb swings, 30 jumping lounges, 30 step overs, 30 burpee like moves I forgot the name of. 10 minutes, 3 rounds ideally. I struggled quite a bit, but almost finished round 3. Sweaty angels. Quick shower and a party. Geeked out in the Bat cave, met lots of friends and had amazing time (except the hunger part). Got home late, but it's long weekend, so whatever. This morning I woke up starving. TWO burger patties and broccoli lo. Still hungry, wtf Strategy - keep myself busy. Cleaning, mani pedi (long overdue) and heading out the house because I might eat all the burgers I have. Me not like. Happy long weekend, people. P.S - no follow up on the headache? Am I alone with this? I go and post at the thread for athletes I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 17, 2014 Author Share Posted May 17, 2014 Hunger go awaaaaay. Had a burger patty and heap of sauteed kale for lunch. Big glass of vanilla hazelnut milk (which I made. God knows why really). I was hungry two hours after. Two!!!! I am not sure how to deal with it, I don't trust myself around food right now. Also bad headache but that might be gluten from last night. I think I will have liver and a salad for dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 17, 2014 Author Share Posted May 17, 2014 Oh so much Pacooooo weeeee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kb0426 Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 That just made me lol and wake him up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Physibeth Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 The hunger all the time certainly could be from the birth control. I blame birth control for regaining all the weight I lost before my wedding. Long before I found paleo/whole foods though. I just wanted all the carbs all the time. It was awful. Have you tried adding some more starchy vegetables? I thought I remembered you posting about trying to cut them down? That could be the source of the workout headaches too but I don't lift like that so I'm not sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 The hunger all the time certainly could be from the birth control. I blame birth control for regaining all the weight I lost before my wedding. Long before I found paleo/whole foods though. I just wanted all the carbs all the time. It was awful. Have you tried adding some more starchy vegetables? I thought I remembered you posting about trying to cut them down? That could be the source of the workout headaches too but I don't lift like that so I'm not sure. I know, it's terrible, it's just messes up with the brain. Well, good that I'd rather reach for veggies than to stuff my face into boxes of candies (like my friend who got on BC recently)Thanks Bethany, for support and advice. I can't really handle most of the starches. Hence my question about PW. Sweet potatoes, parsnips, rutabagas, beets - all a no for regular consumption. Carrots is my veggie candy. I am still a hungry monster. Its 3 PM but I've eaten twice already. Beef patty with salad and fish roe with carrots. Still hungry. BOO. On the bright side - look what I finally got installed!!!!!!!! This is totally a negative one, don't be fooled. I just want to hang from this thing all day long. I wonder if I will be able to do a dead hang one in a year. Or ever for that matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kb0426 Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Forgive me if you have made this comment in your past entries, but where is the fat in your meals? See what happens when I come back? I become a pain in the a$$ . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 19, 2014 Author Share Posted May 19, 2014 Forgive me if you have made this comment in your past entries, but where is the fat in your meals? See what happens when I come back? I become a pain in the a$$ . Dog-filled-newsfeed compensates it all!!!!! Well, salad was with walnut oil (I remembered that I have it thanks to LadyM) and the beef patty wasn't exactly lean. Fish roe was cooked with some coconut milk, so I feel that I was alright. BUT thanks for checking. That being sad my night time hunger got me again last night. I have a crazy hypothesis.I am thing a pill around 9 pm. Can this induce hunger that quick? I need to switch the time for the next week me thinks. Maybe this is the key? This hunger is so terrible, nothing like hunger on wh30, when you just know it's time to eat. This one is carb-junkie-hands-shaking-tummy-aching kind of one. So speaking of fats again, I got plenty of them when I realized that I can't sleep because I am hungry, as a result I went downstairs and bought a bag of vegetable (beets and carrots) chips in olive oil. I did not finish the pack - win. I did not have anything for emergency in my fridge - fail. I will go an toss the rest of the pack I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 19, 2014 Author Share Posted May 19, 2014 I know you said a lot there, but every time you talk about biking and reliable public transport I feel a frisson of jealousy. I would love to live where I don't have to have a car. Back to topic, here's hoping you feel rested soon and can get back to biking. Amy! Congrats Quoting solely so you get a notification, heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 1. Had an absolutely crazy meltdown but managed to talk myself out of this self hatred. WITHOUT the crying post here. Speed + avoidance of public whining = good girl. Grass is greener not on the other side, but where you are mfing water it. That's all. Keep gardening. I am just have a blackthumb probably 2. Resisted the "pill hunger" in the evening. Good girl. 3. Woke up ravenous, but I stayed over at my friend's house, so nothing compliant there. Soy milk, rice and cheese detected in the fridge. Biked to the work with the coffee stop on the way. Serene. First customer, sun and wooden deck. 4. Resisted the "f it all, I'll never figure it out" attitude and did not buy gf treat instead of breakfast. Or chocolate for breakfast. Which I've done before. Dragged my ass to the supermarket. 5. Hungry all day again. Timing is entirely off. M1. 9AM. Deli turkey (5 oz, all good, no sugar) + baby kale + avocado + carrots. Meat as a wrap. Nice! M2. 12 PM. Still hungry, so I ate the rest of the meat (4-5 oz) + avocado + baby kale. Coffee with a friend on my lunch walk. M3. 4 PM. Hungry. Tuna + rest of the avocado (it was a large one to begin with) + pesto + lots of celery/cucmbers/apple slices. M4. 4:45PM. Still feel that fish and broccoli sound amazing. Picked on roasted veggies (cauliflower, broccoli and acorn squash). I brought all my veggies for lunches to work, but my protein is waiting for J to grill it tomorrow. Which is fantastic. Both grilling and him coming back. I wish I was more productive on the digestive issues/AIP front by his return. He was upset that I called the blue cheese burger night proposal off, but I can't do this to myself. M5. MIGHT happen. Yoga class + long ride home + pill. I see a set up for disaster. 6. Watched a TED talk about power posing and the research how 2 minutes in the pose of "power" reduces cortisol almost by 1/3d. Pretty cool, hm? Maybe I should try that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmary Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 I have seen that TED talk, but so far too chicken to do the power pose. Star jumps and Supermans are the closest I get Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 Ahah I know, the choice of images in that presentation wasn't particularly spectacular. However, I intend to sit in it right now. In the yoga studio lounge. Whatever, I am reducing cortisol here, ppl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators LadyM Posted May 20, 2014 Moderators Share Posted May 20, 2014 Way to go, grurl. I also like how you liked your own post. Well played all around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 I just died a bit. Too funny. Must have been my attempts to edit from the phone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 Got home late. Biked all the way and it rained. Ate raspberries and drank magnesium water. Woke up 5 times. Got out of bed at 6. Pillow puffy face. Yay. M1. 7AM. Smoked mackerel. And coffee. M2. 11:30 AM Rest of the mackerel package (2oz?) and a piece of carp. Roasted broccoli and carrots with pesto. Tummy is hurting. Raw garlic - bye. I knew we will have to part someday. Sigh. M3. 4pm Big chunk of turkey (9oz or so) with roasted acorn squash. Super bloat. Why thank you body, right when I need to leave to meet J from his trip. Wonderful. Silks class tonight. They have been terrible lately. Another part why I can't stop agonizing about my regained weight. I just have no strength to hold these extra pounds up in the air. I do what I can and remind myself that I am doing it for fun. Well it is no fun anymore, I am dreading going there. I am self conscious as I am the worst there, although I can still laugh it off with the rest. Maybe today I will get results and they will keep me from quitting. This is not in my nature, to quit. However, I feel like I am hurting myself more with anxiety that comes after the class than I do good to the body through exercise. I am fine tho. Keep saying the most true phrase there is - "it is as it is". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Physibeth Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I think the lack of strength you are experiencing (real or perceived) has more to do with being unable to go for several months than anything else. You'll get it back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators LadyM Posted May 21, 2014 Moderators Share Posted May 21, 2014 Oh no! You used to find such joy in that class! Wouldn't keeping at it make you stronger, perhaps more quickly because of the few extra pounds? But if you hate it now and it gives you anxiety, then by all means take a break! It doesn't have to be forever. You don't have to see it as quitting. Self care always. If right now taking a break from silks is a way to take care of yourself, then so be it. Another time silks class might again be a wonderful means of self care. And right now you have your bike, wheeeeeeeeeee!! Sorry you're suffering over this, sweetie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beets Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Yes. Ditto on the silks! If it's bringing anxiety then don't do it, especially if going to the class doesn't cute the anxiety. (Like sometimes I'm anxious about yoga bc I have to get the kids ready early yadda yadda but then I'm there and ahhhh.) No ahhh then skip it for now. Like M said you aren't quitting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmary Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Do what brings you joy, NB. If that's not silks anymore, thats fine. There is beauty and strength in honoring the present moment. it is what it is. very true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 26, 2014 Author Share Posted May 26, 2014 ***extreme frustration alert*** Do what brings you joy. At this point I find banging my head against the wall extremely delightful. I went to the doctor. I got my blood panel results. My DHEA-s is low. My body does not produce any testosterone apparently. My number is lower than 0,3 (whereas 0,8 is the lowest norm). Also my iron is extremely low. Oh joy. Low testosterone in women. Adrenal failure, fat around belly/hands (yep), inability to gain muscle mass/lose fat, weakness (linked to previous one, remember my complaints how my circus sucks big time) and depression (not there yet and I am not going there, but my mood dear God, is out of control).It gets better as the BC suppresses testosterone and this panel was done BEFORE I got on the pill. I am reading about it and I can't stop crying. I can't handle it all anymore, I swear I can't. It gets worse and worse. I am paralised when I think of what do I do. I am paralised when it comes to food. There is nothing I can eat and not pay the price for it. Cucumbers, sorry, I am fine with you, you are safe. I can not manage my stress when I am reminded every second there is something wrong with me. I just want normal life vs struggling every goddamned day. I think that I should stop posting altogether. I don't want to discourage people. I believe that it's a good way to live with incredible benefits. I am glad it works for my Mom and Dad. I believe that it helped my Dad to go through chemo. Clearly I am missing some piece of a puzzle. It's been 1,5 years, I'd call it an honest try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators LadyM Posted May 26, 2014 Moderators Share Posted May 26, 2014 I'm so sorry you're suffering and so frustrated, Nadia. Didn't the doctor propose a course of treatment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia B Posted May 26, 2014 Author Share Posted May 26, 2014 Noooope. Testosterone replacement seems to be one of the most controversial treatments out there and is used with extreme caution even by the pill pedaling docs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmary Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Oh Nadia, I'm sorry you are struggling so much. I can see it is unlikely that your Dr. would give you testosterone, but DHEA, maybe? I was on that for a while and it was hugely helpful...once my levels were up high enough I started to break out on the jawline and etc. so it was pretty obvious when enough was enough. Food can't fix everything. be kind to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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