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Thanks everyone for giving me some perspective. I'm too sensitive sometimes!

LadyM- I just read your post about the fmd, and I had been thinking there was something bigger going on for you than calories in/calories out. Your size will come in time. In the mean time though, I think longing for the clothes that don't quite fit right now can cause extra stress. And it's really important to have clothes you love for your biggest size, otherwise you send signals of worthlessness to your bodymind, and a negative spiral easily ensues. I guess that's why the shorts with no size in them were such a gift to me. If I end up swollen and bloated for a few days, I still want to be cute while I recover. I have a range of sizes of clothes and I have forced myself to love them all. I know I can't wear some things sometimes and I used to feel like crap for it- it didn't do me any favors.

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love the photos! and what a great reminder, especially that we see every single flaw and every other person (me) sees how amazingly cute we (you) are!

 

did I comment on that post?! I'm sure I did. I'm usually get on those SWYPO posts. and I echo everyone else. I have gotten into trouble before for mis-read posts I've put.

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New idea for a clothing store: clothes without sizes. A person helps you find perfect clothes for your shape and removes the tags so you never know.

I've always had a dream of having all of my clothes perfectly tailored. Back when I wore nice clothes I always had my pants (and jeans) tailored by a suit-maker. I also briefly worked for a designer--nothing glamorous, it was mostly suiting/blouses for top-of-the-foodchain business women, or ladies-who-lunch. Everything was made to order. What beautiful couture Italian wools and silks, all expertly sewn for each body. Talk about luxury.

I still have some wool pencil skirts from that job, back when I was a perfect Italian size 40 (like a 6, or a 4 in places with vanity sizing). Sigh. I definitely never did the dress for the size you are thing--even though I knew I should. I lived in nasty yoga pants and two pairs of crummy jeans after each pregnancy. I mostly shop on eBay and consignment (when I shop at all) but still I had a hard time spending $ on bigger clothes. As a result my brain got the message that life was on hold till I got smaller.

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Great pictures!

 

I'm with everyone else about the SWYPO thread - don't let it get you down.  We all get sucked into things like that at times.  We know we should just walk away, but it's hard.

 

Beets - good idea for a sizeless store.  That would solve my frustration with vanity sizing!  And I live in yoga pants regardless of my size! LOL

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Oh, it's almost too perfect...if I start a whole30 tomorrow, the last day will be July 3. I love the symbolism of July4 already, psychologically and physically being clean as a whistle for it sounds wonderful. I won't do AIP, I won't log my food, or start a new log for that matter, maybe just post a pic if its a recipe I want to share.

If anyone cares what has spurred me on to do another w30, I'll tell you, it's the aftertaste of m&m's and cheap wine. What have I become?! I don't care about the sugar or whatever, it wasn't that much candy anyways, and I feel fine. What troubles me is the lack of discrimination. To my credit- I didn't go and buy these cheap candies- I found them in a bag from when I cleaned out the pantry when I started w30 (my husband had bought them on a work trip).

This w30 will be different from my last in that I won't be eating all organic/grassfed. I'm getting a membership to Sams Warehouse and will do the best I can there. We are in major money save mode right now, I want my food budget in half. I will also take liberties with SWYPO and the template since I'm already fat-adapted and I'll be keeping my log postw30. Otherwise I'm on the meat and veggie train once again y'all!

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Oh, it's almost too perfect...if I start a whole30 tomorrow, the last day will be July 3. I love the symbolism of July4 already, psychologically and physically being clean as a whistle for it sounds wonderful. I won't do AIP, I won't log my food, or start a new log for that matter, maybe just post a pic if its a recipe I want to share.

If anyone cares what has spurred me on to do another w30, I'll tell you, it's the aftertaste of m&m's and cheap wine. What have I become?! I don't care about the sugar or whatever, it wasn't that much candy anyways, and I feel fine. What troubles me is the lack of discrimination. To my credit- I didn't go and buy these cheap candies- I found them in a bag from when I cleaned out the pantry when I started w30 (my husband had bought them on a work trip).

This w30 will be different from my last in that I won't be eating all organic/grassfed. I'm getting a membership to Sams Warehouse and will do the best I can there. We are in major money save mode right now, I want my food budget in half. I will also take liberties with SWYPO and the template since I'm already fat-adapted and I'll be keeping my log postw30. Otherwise I'm on the meat and veggie train once again y'all!

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that sounds fab. I started today with the same intention. and you have just allowed me to give myself some permission to eat good healthy meats/etc without worrying every second about grass fed/etc. and what shape some of my food is in...(did you post the tostada recipe from mod Johnny? I'm making that and not blinking an eye. and the cauliflower tortillas). I feel like my body has adjusted as well, but for me this is about letting go of all the "snacking" and incremental chocolate intake.

 

I had a summer pot luck yesterday. no one brings food to a pot luck, they bring chips, cookies, and cake. and I got a cotton candy machine. I was great considering, but I was also relieved to be back here today with a 30 day intention.

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I had some leftover plantain tostada things with peanut butter (gasp) on them, and I don't think those thighs are healthy at all. It tastes like cake or something bread like. Goes down a little too easy. I said I'd be lax on the SWYPO but I don't think it's a good idea. In gonna be real pride, I might take it to cauli rice or zoodles, but once you start putting things in the blender it's a slippery slope. What I am missing from my w30 is 3 meals of meat n veg. Oh happy, calm times.

post-14185-13703224368088_thumb.jpg

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Welcome back, Mo! I think your parameters sound great. Really glad you figured out that the template is really what you need. My best guess is now that you're moving toward something rather than away in the escape mode, it will go quite swimmingly.

 

I know for me right now just sticking close to the template while making little tweaks that make it doable for me is just how it needs to be. Until it doesn't. I trust that I'll know when that is.

 

Wow, peanut butter. I don't think anything makes me sicker quicker. It works for you, though? I can't seem to find any nuts aside from the peanut legume that don't bother me except in tiny doses. Maybe that's not a bad thing.

 

BTW, I listened to you yesterday and wore a belted dress (stretchy rayon with diagonal stripes) and a short blazer and my brown snakeskin cfm wedge heels that always make me feel hot. The funny thing is regardless of size, I'm always happier wearing clothes that aren't restrictive--ones in which I can move.

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No peanut butter drama that I can tell LadyM. That is part of the problem with my off-roading lately- I'm not getting swift and acute bad reactions like I used to, which makes it all the more difficult to turn down something that I want for taste reasons only. Now, I feel it in the morning as a stiffness in my fingers, a swelling, and a cobweb in my brain that leaves as soon as I have my, you guessed it, COFFEE. I just feel so..so.. TYPICAL waking up this way. Not special like when I was a w30 tigerblood machine.

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I was joking before but I think you'll feel much better back in the template. No more angst.

There was a quote I used to know, something about strength lying in submission. I can't remember but anyway I feel much better without be mental struggle.

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I am drinking coffee with coconut milk right now. It leaves much to be desired! I'm not going to make any specific coffee-avoidance objective. I love sweet n creamy strong coffee. I had thought I would make that date laced coffee cream, but that is def paleofying and against the rules. I'll stick with the coconut milk, until my morning fog lifts naturally at which point the thought of clear fluids sounds more appealing. I think that will happen pretty soon. One aspect of this w30 is zero restrictions on allowed foods- so whatever happens with my coffee drinking is ok. If I need a snack or just a "something extra", I will use nuts and fruit, or dried fruit without shame. Basically, less stress, less self imposed rules. Just running with the approved food list and not thinking much beyond that.

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Same here. My meals all stayed template, but there was other stuff in between. I'd love toget back to not needing/wanting inter-meal eating. You'll never be a follower. Though I know that sometimes I want so badly to not be a follower that I screw myself. Authority issues.

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And yes to no stress, no shame. That should be my motto for this W--. (Still not sure how long I'll carry on. Now that you guys are all on W30 and Susan and Derval and the w100 crew--I'm feeling the pull to join in and stick it through till the end, and of course the other pull to REBEL, but the rebel voice is quieter. Which is good bc I have a hard time figuring out if he rebel voice is being wise or childish.)

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Last: this post from our dear friend PM popped up in my Twitter today. Guide to re-intros.

She mentions little pink bump as a danger sign. And also, if you read this Nadia, fat cravings. This is good for me, since I royally screwed up reintros after my w30 and AIP-ita.

http://www.thepaleomom.com/2012/09/reintroducing-foods-after-following-the-autoimmune-protocol.html

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