Moluv's Afterglow

[Derval]

Love the new pic, pretty lady.

[percypat]

Woooo, free fat!    And stunning pic

[kew]

Great new profile pic!  And the jeans are amazing too.

[Bridget]

Great pic & jeans !!!

[Moluv]

Thanks so much ladies! The pic is symbolic for me because I have been growing my hair out for two years now (from a short pompadour, think Miley Cyrus). Now when you grow out from that short you can get some length at the nape quickly, but then you've got a bunch of wonky short layers. I decided that I wanted to grow my hair to my waist all one length, no layers, no texture. So as my short haircut grew out I had to keep bobbing it off at my nape and waiting for the top to catch up. I had the dorkier soccer mom hair for over a year using that method. And I couldn't see any change, I thought it was taking too long, I had second thoughts, I wanted to cut it all off. But I just kept on WITH MY ORIGINAL PLAN, and one day, not too long ago I realized I had a true one length bob falling below my chin, the hard part is over. And I can FINALLY see that all the waiting through the dorky times was worth it. If I had cut my hair to make it temporarily look better I would have set myself back months in attaining the one length. Do you see the eating metaphor developing here? Hamburger meat=hair growing, chocolate bars=haircut. Growing out the layers=searching for "the way", attaining the one length bob=committing to w30/AIP, the rest of the growing out time is just smooth sailing, as is keeping to what I know to be the best plan/path for my healing.

Speaking of hair- Beets I had ANOTHER dream about you! Am I a crazy stalker, I don't know! But I had a chance to experience hair envy in the dream bc beets had the waist length one length hair (and a shapely figure to match) that I want. Also a bossy sister I don't want. But it was cool- we were each on cross-crossing cross country family roadtrips and met up at some cabin with hot springs and mud baths, which the kiddos reveled in. Ha!

[LadyM]

LOVE the brilliant metaphor, the new pic, and the great deals you got on meat!!

 

I was pondering the nature of jealousy as I was feeling it toward Beets and her weight-loss compliments and remembered something a really wise therapist taught me years ago: the moment before you feel jealousy or envy, you witness something beautiful.

 

The trick, I believe, is to hang on to that beauty and realize that if we can witness it, we're just a step away from realizing it for ourselves. I think this works nicely with law of attraction stuff.

 

How cool is it that through this forum we're witnessing each other's--and hence our own--beauty, and learning to cultivate that?

[pjena]

That is so cool, M!  What a nice way to think about envy - hang out just before envy.  Nice!

[Beets]

I like that idea, LAdy M. Holding onto the idea of witnessing something beautiful. I have a tendency to counter my envy by finding something unattractive about the person. Shameful. My mother does the same thing and it's a really ugly characteristic. (Like if I see a 22yo in a cropped shirt and $300 sandals and perfect legs, instead of noticing how lovely she is I might say to myself, "ew, that's the worst dye job ever." So embarrassing to admit that ugly part of myself, but it's there. Working on embracing all the parts of myself. Ugliness and all.)

M, your dreams are cracking me up. I do not have waist-length hair, nor could I ever. I do definitely relate though to hair cut drama. I took some pics I have to post from my phone but I'm typing on my computer. You will see two photos of me in 7th grade growing my hair out. In 4th grade I was popular, boys liked me. I cut my hair in 5th grade at the same time we switched to a bigger school (2 schools combined). At the same time my hair was going through puberty and changing from thick and wavy to frizz bomb.

Suddenly I was a nerd and I had awful hair. I kept trying to grow it out but it didn't grow down, it grew out--in a giant puffball. I kept starting to grow it out and then cutting it. (Same with my adult diet history: quit wheat for a month, eat crap for five, feel like crap, "I have to quit wheat," eat wheat, repeat.) In the white dress my hair was finally "long" enough to get a hair cut. Now it looks Molly Ringwald-esque but it was not the result I had in mind. In college I cut it again, really really short bc I guy I liked didn't like me, probably. And again it looked awful growing out. I still have dreams about my hair being cut short. Ack!

My hair used to be too curly. Post kids it's just kind of dry and shaggy looking. Also, I have a lot of gray and color it. True confessions time. My sister has the long wavy hair. She also has major mental issues so, you know, nothing's perfect.

[pjena]

I have long curly hair that grows out rather than down, too.  I fought it for years, trying to straighten it.  Then, I had kids and didn't have time for anything so I embraced the curls and now have a totally wash and go style.  I wish we could all embrace our attributes when we're young rather than wasting so much time fighting them. 

[Beets]

Silver city pink lipstick: High school:

 

God willing the giant clothes I wore in high school (men's size 36 waist??) will come back in time for my daughter. If not the hairdo. 

[pjena]

Our curly hair worked for the big hair 90's!  Unfortunately, I was trying to grow and straighten mine during that time.  Though, I had an Annie 'do in elementary school.  Then, my mom cut it all off when she was supposed to be trimming it and I had a pixie cut (NOT a good look for me) in 7th grade.  Combine that with the guess overalls rolled and pinned at the ankle.  Shudder!!

[Physibeth]

Moluv: Love! the new profile picture! So sassy! What an awesome deal on meat and fat! Nom!

 

Regarding hair envy - as someone who was in junior high/high school on Long Island in the late 80's early 90's I get it. Everyone was doing those big bangs and I have always had pin straight fine hair. I couldn't do those bangs to save my life. I always find it interesting that we women always want what we don't have. I had a million bad perms in school starting with one where I brought a picture of beautiful long ringlets and left the stylist looking like a blond little orphan Annie. I've finally found a shortish hair cut that suits me well and doesn't require styling but looks cute styled and I like it that way.  

[Moluv]

Funny that you preface these photos as bad hair pics because when I look at them I am just struck with awe of your beautiful mouth, bone structure, cream skin and I think the curls are a bonus. We have no idea what we look like really. I have spent the 16 years of my career life scrutinizing people's bodies for money. As a hairstylist, then spa worker I saw every inch of hundreds, maybe thousands of women up close. The last 3 years I have done nothing but brazilians. I have a lot of experience hearing about insecurities, witnessing unknown beauty and seeing so many women, often naked, has taught me really that everyone is unique but also exactly the same. All of the little peculiarities are always just about the same. The human genome project confirmed this- I would have to google it- but I'm pretty sure the part of our genome that accounts for what makes us all look so widely different is less than 3%- I might be wrong here and if so I'm wrong in that the number is LESS. WE ARE ALL SO MUCH MORE SAME THAN DIFFERENT. So much easier to love ourselves even in the face of comparing ourselves to others that seem so much more worthy of it.

Since we are showing kid pics: my friend on fb posted (at my request) our group senior photo. I'm really working my inner boygirl, that's me in the center in a plaid shirt:

[Moluv]

The deal on the meat was a little too good! I started thinking it didn't seem like they charged me enough and sure enough I called and they forgot to charge me $15 for a bag of ground beef. Luckily I could pay over the phone, so still $55 for 18 lbs of meat + free fat is a dang good deal!

[Beets]

I love the short hair on you. And your cheekbones ain't looking so bad either.

[Moluv]

Yes, LadyM I love that thought- it's exactly what the law of attraction is about- you spoke it more eloquently I believe.

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Today I think I am getting a tummy bug I picked up from my 6yrold, who puked all morning, who picked it up from a kid at school yesterday who puked on him. I had read Nadia's post about comfort food squash and ghee and almost dipped into the ghee for my canned butternut squash, but then I rubbed my thighs, which I have been noticing all day have less bumps and feel smoother, enjoyable even, and decided to just mix in some pork fat (not ideal, I know) and jellied pan drippings instead. I added cinnamon, turmeric and coarse Celtic sea salt (I need some smoked salt but) and gave myself a little victory fist pump for making the better choice for myself right now. Ghee will likely be the first thing I test. And I swear I'm doing it right this time!

Here's to hoping in just tired and not getting the bug!

[percypat]

I had a million bad perms in school starting with one where I brought a picture of beautiful long ringlets and left the stylist looking like a blond little orphan Annie. 

 

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Can totally relate!  Chinese Mummy so I have super straight hair.  Curly hair was my dream when I was little and mum let me get a perm when I was about 8.  Nothing permanent about it, it fell out the next day.  The lady actually did it again for free because it was supposed to be permanent and the same thing happened.  The dream was not to be.

 

Nice one on your good choices today Moluv, I'd be so proud of myself resisting the call of the ghee.  Hope you don't get that bug!

[calee]

Mo, you clean up beautifully! Thanks for the shared pics. Beets, you too on the pics.

Hope you don't get sick mo.

[melbournegirl]

 

I had a million bad perms in school starting with one where I brought a picture of beautiful long ringlets and left the stylist looking like a blond little orphan Annie. 

 

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Can totally relate!  Chinese Mummy so I have super straight hair.  Curly hair was my dream when I was little and mum let me get a perm when I was about 8.  Nothing permanent about it, it fell out the next day.  The lady actually did it again for free because it was supposed to be permanent and the same thing happened.  The dream was not to be.

 

Snap - same for me - re the perms never working .... I just stick with short hair now

 

[LadyM]

Women and identity shaped by hair is one of my favorite themes in literature (and life). We've all got a few shifts and changes we can recall through hair, no?

 

I got an Annie fro perm at the same time my parents divorced and I got fat.

 

When I was 17 I got cancer, then chemo, then radiation, and my hair fell out. Before that I dyed it what I thought would be platinum based on the kit I bought at the grocery store, but it turned out chartreuse. Appropriate, really, since that's probably what my insides looked like.

 

I chopped it all off a few times. Loved it once, though my boyfriend called it my paratrooper look. Did it a second time and also colored it dark auburn from blonde when I started teaching Women's Studies. My gay boyfriends made fun and still talk about it as "Remember that time you went all dyke to teach Women's Studies?"

 

I've always liked the flexibility and malleability of my own hair. It's super fine and naturally wavy which means it blows straight in a jiffy, gets big (I am from Dallas, after all, where the bigger the hair the closer to God) and super curly if I use a diffuser, and is a pretty decent wash-and-go. Losing it all at 17 probably helped me with perspective.

 

It's been thinning the past year and a half, though not consistently, and that's given me pause. Vanity, yes. But more that it's a clear indicator of underlying health issues. I don't want what I haven't got. I just want the best of what's authentically me. I'm working on cultivating this attitude in every part of my life.

 

I love seeing the old photos and versions of Beets and Mo. So fun! Do you remember what it felt like to be those girls then and not just what you looked like?

[Moluv]

"Do you remember what it felt like to be those girls and not just what you looked like"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Such a great Q LadyM and it's been on my mind all day. It's so hard to remember- I recall daydreaming a lot, I always felt like my real life was ABOUT to start, it was just around the corner, anywhere but where I was; the exact opposite of a Zen Buddhist. I had very little opportunity to express myself creatively, which is what I needed most. Even the way I looked didn't belong to me. I felt stifled a lot. I had a pretty stable life though, and was grateful for that. I had fun, I was wild whenever I got a chance. I found my identity in rebellion, and sometimes still do. I remember smiling a lot, at everyone. I look sulky in that pic but I was actually silly a lot of the time.

What are some examples of identity based on hair in literature? I can't think of any (earth to daydreamer, come in). I identify with my hair in that it was something that my mother controlled until I was 18, then psychologically the aftermath lasted a decade and half beyond that. I've only just been able to allow myself to have what I really want (the waistlength hair- something my mom would not have due to all the maintenance, possibly jealousy too) and to be able to keep focused on a goal log enough to attain it. To me it's not about fashion or sex appeal, it's about following through, something I have always failed at. And since this is a food forum ill just go ahead and tie this all into the fact that my ability to focus was granted to me only after going off gluten, and further sharpened by w30. Getting that waistlength, one length hair represents quite a journey for me. I'll be 40 I reckon when it gets there, and I think that will be really the right time.

[melbournegirl]

My parents wouldn't let me cut my hair until I was 14, it was down to my butt when I got it cut. As a result I will never have long hair again! A little bit in rebellion but the truth is I am over it, long hair just doesn't suit me.

[Moluv]

It's nice to have a BF on W30 too, she made me dinner of crockpot chicken, mashed sweet pot & carrots, I made a zucchini green bean carrot onion sautee, we put it all on top some spinach leaves and topped it off with dried currants and chiccarones (the leftover crunchy bits from rendering lard). With a glass of her home brewed kombucha that she had flavored with tulsi rose tea. Beautiful eaten outdoors in her folksy garden.

[Moluv]

Confession time: I ate two slices of bacon my little boy refused at breakfast, I could take or leave em I suppose it was more based on economics. Not a PERF w30 but whatever.

[melbournegirl]

Well I confess (not really hiding it) that for my third whole30 I am not excluding white potatoes and I am not excluding my bacon which is compliant except for <1% sugar. I ended up finding some reasonably priced compliant bacon but the "spices" turned out to be garlic which I cant tolerate. A lot of the prosciutto types are way too expensive and also often have garlic in as do any others I have found so that's my compromise. Having said that, I just read about how they pour a liquid smoke flavouring over some bacon (euch) so I will be checking the package as soon as I can to rule that out. I buy the 95% smoked bacon as the higher bacon level plus the smoked flavour usually means less additives and no garlic.... but I have been buying Aldi which is probably European sourced meat.... might have to switch back to Australian....